BabyWhispererForums.com
EAT => Breast Feeding => Topic started by: *Ali* on December 21, 2012, 15:53:43 pm
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Please continue chatting and supporting each other in nursing babies 12mo+
Continued from Extended Nursing Support Thread part 4
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I'm holding on to your experience Ali, but still haven't got up the nerve to wean that NF yet. She's teething pretty hard ATM so the NF can be anything from 2am onwards... hope I'm not digging a hole for myself, but she is SO hard to settle at NWs. Keep hoping and hopeing she'll start sleeping through by herself, but I'm probably just kidding myself.
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I would SUGGEST that in our experience anna that she won't stop waking while there's a feed on offer. That was our story anyway...BUT keep the feed if it's easier for you to deal with that than wean it!! We weaned it as it was turning into several long NW.. not worth it!
BTW_ i LOVE the teddy snood thingy... did you knit it?
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Teething hard, extremely heavy cold, wonder week - she is nursing basically like a newborn. What's worse is, in between times she is pulling at my clothes ALL THE TIME and then hitting me and tantruming if I don't get my boobs out. She doesn't want to nurse - she just wants to know that she's allowed to BF, but literally she will latch on for 15 seconds, then sit up, and then start crying and hitting me if I cover up again.
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Ah poor sausage. Maybe she does want to feed but it is too uncomfortable with her teeth and blocked nose so she unlatches after a short time?
If Colby asks to BF and I don't want to I say it's not BT and distract with another drink or food or toy.
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Yeh, you're probably right. I am thankful to still be BFing though, she is not eating anything (although drinking tons) so it does at least feel good to know that she's getting some good nutrition. Also I've noticed that if we can unblock her nose long enough to start properly nursing, it does help relieve the congestion! ???
I'm just feeling impatient at being pulled and pushed at and basically beaten up all day long. Really hope she's finally on the mend.
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Have you tried the saline spray? What about a nice steamy bath? Or going out in the cold?
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Anna, I'm with you. E is *constantly* asking for milk (in my face signing and shouting at me ::)) - but then latches on for 15 second with a painful toothy grip and then just wants to keep switching sides ::). It's seriously making me want to wean :(. We are still up doing one night feed again and I really don't think we can wean it properly while she is wanting to nurse so much throughout the day - it's like it's become some comfort thing (physically and emotionally) - but I'm really tired of it now :-[. And my nipples hurt A LOT.
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Yeh, it's a huge comfort thing for Audrey too. And after she does properly nurse she is so much happier - it is like her mummy cup is filled with milk, yk? If she's a bit sad and clingy, she's happy and confident and independent again after BF. We've still got at least 1 NF going here too (when she's well, more like 2 at present), I'm still chicken to wean it as I dn't think we've ever had a NW where she's settled in less than an hour - unless she's BFed, in which case she'll settle straight away.
Ah! There she is waking up now. No real surprise though, she didn't eat a single taste of her tea :(
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sounds AWFUL anna! :( hope she's better soon!!
Hamish tried to blow bubbles while he was feeding tonight! Funnily enough it didn't work ::)
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We just quit night nursing. My toddler will be 2 years old in just a couple of weeks. And it was my decision. Suddenly one night when he nursed I just got a very strong "NO MORE! I'M DONE!" feeling. And that was that. I talked to him about it, and he didn't react too much. But when night came and he woke up at 4 am. and wanted to nurse he was so not happy when I didn't nurse him. He screamed and cried and was really mad until 7 am! I was there with him the whole time, of course. Then he nursed at 7, and slept until 9.30.
The next night already went a lot better, he mostly just said "mama" "maaaama" several times and when he didn't get to nurse he went back to sleep.
He nursed around 8 am and then slept until 10.30 that morning. So night weaning is obviously exhausting, hah.
And now this morning was the third night and it went fine, he mostly slept, he asked for me once. And went back to sleep again and slept until 8.30 before he woke up and got to nurse. (We got up then though.)
I'm very glad it went that well.
It just seemed like he understood that I was serious about this. He had his little protest, but I would too, he's almost 2 and has never before been denied nursing exactly when he wants.
But I also feel a little sad that it was my decision and he didn't get to wean on his own. But I just felt like I couldn't do it any more, not even one more night.
He still gets to nurse all he wants during the day. But it hasn't changed. It's morning, and afternoon, and bed time. Sometimes an extra time. And if he wakes up before I go to bed, he gets to nurse. It's only the bed time (or the later one if it happens) or early morning when he's sleepy that last 10-20 minutes. The day time ones just last 4-5 minutes.
I'm so glad he is continuing those though, I don't feel ready at all to stop nursing. So I'm glad he still wants to!
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That's great, Solene.
I've got a feeling DD might be stopping now. She's refused a feed the last two nights, although she's obviously not feeling too good and could well have teeth coming. We've got such a lot going on right now that she doesn't even want me to put her to bed, let alone feed her :( Oh well, some of that is for another thread somewhere else
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Hugs Solene and Amanda.
Solene I suspect he may never have night weaned until he weaned himself completely so don't feel too bad.
We are still going with morning and BT feeds and midday feeds most days when home.
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Solene that sounds like it was relatively easy, well done to you both!
(((hugs))) Amanda
Still going here too. I have been thinking about when to get rid of the MOTN feed but actually it means she will just be down to one feed (bedtime) on childminder days and I'm not ready for that. If she wakes at 7 there's probalby not going to be time to BF in the morning, it is such a scramble as it is to get everyone up/dressed/fed in time for the school run. So we'll keep going with the 4-5am feed for a few more months.
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(((hugs))) Amanda and Solene.
Anna, when I was working when Allie was small we always did the feed around 5 AM -- most of the time she woke for it, sometimes I just picked her up asleep and let her nurse like that. Like you, it was the only way that feed was going to happen, so I was ok with it.
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Another day, another refused feed, but then she doesn't actually want me anywhere near her at bedtime at the moment anyway (hysterical screaming fits, writhing, hitting me in the face, pushing away), so not a lot I can do there :( Sad that it's happened like this, but glad it's ultimately been her choice as I always wanted her to self-wean. I just kind of hoped it would be a bit more gradual than this :'(
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:( Crazy with the bed time hysterics!!
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I think she's just picking up on all the stress at home right now and doesn't know what to do with it. Sadly that gets taken out on me :(
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(((hugs))) Amanda
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Hugs Amanda.
L is down to BT and night feed. No more morning or day feeds for a while now.
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So i've stumbled onto a feminist Pinterest board ::) And as i'm a die hard feminist i'm of course loving it!! This pic made me think of you ladies!!
http://pinterest.com/pin/112378953173822624/
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Love it Katy ;D
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Just a couple of questions... I'm going away for work in march for 3 days. I should still be BFing then, and don't want to stop.. do you think i'll need to express once a day for the 3 days- or just leave it.. it's only 2 nights away.. but i'l probably have to leave too early in the morning to feed H before i leave... I'd prefer not to pump- but don't want to lose supply (although i did just pump off 120 mls then as i missed both feeds today for various reasons... so i may need to for comfort!!)
Also- can you DF a toddler? I was really tempted tonight as i was FULL as a goog and didn't want to bother with the pump.. i get all precious about the milk- even though i need to pump or i;m just annoyed- i still don't want to tip it down the drain!! ::)
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Obviously Audrey is younger but I spent 48hrs (two nights) away in December. I was surprised that I got really engorged (usually feeding 3 in 24hrs). I tried to pump but couldn't, hand expressing in the shower just enough to ease the pressure. So I'd expect to need to do something just so you don't explode!
And yes, you can DF a toddler :)
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I definitely had to pump while away for a weekend. Even then I was engorged between pumping sessions as I couldn't full drain the breast with the pump. I was feeding 3-4 times a day and had to pump 3x each day as well.
Yes you can DF some toddlers at least. I know one BW who did this to reach their goal age for BFing after their LO self weaned while awake :)
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Mamas, how does BF fit into your evening wind-down. At the moment I brush Aud's teeth (at least, I try) after her bath, then she gets nappy/PJs on, has BF, then into sleeping bag and into bed. I can't remember with Stan when I moved teeth to after BF - or if I didn't until he had stopped that last feed :-[ :o
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We do similar to you Anna. What I used to do with Cadan was to brush his teeth before the feed but as long as he didn't fall asleep feeding I would give them another quick brush again after the feed. At least then if he did fall asleep we didn't worry about brushing his teeth as he had done it before hand. If there is only breast milk on the teeth it is not actually that bad. This link has great info that really put my mind at rest. http://kellymom.com/health/baby-health/tooth-decay/
With Colby I only brush his teeth beforehand. If he doesn't fall asleep feeding which is about half the time, I still just pop him in bed
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We did/do the same with teeth, so brush and then BF. I'm sure the kellymom link says the place in the mouth where the milk is delivered in a BF baby is different to that for a FF baby, so there's less contact with teeth.
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OMG what a doll Audrey is in your new avi! Love it!
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;D :-* you see, she has us all wrapped around her little finger(s). Monkey.
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OMG what a doll Audrey is in your new avi! Love it!
Totally! How cute!!
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That is a very precious pic!!
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Totally missed this new thread. Hugs Amanda!
I think we're slowly on the way out. We've been (mainly) only having a morning feed for several months now, but now it's usually only every couple of days - and then we might have 3-4 days when she will want to feed every morning. I was a bit sad a couple of weeks ago when she actually refused milk 3 days in a row and I thought we'd had our last feed without me even thinking about it, but then she got sick so was keen again :P But I've decided now that if she doesn't ask, I'm not going to offer anymore. I'm happy to have made it to 2 years, so if she's happy to wean herself now that's ok.
We changed milk to before bath, teeth etc with no trouble, to my surprise...I want to say around 15 months? Not sure, but that seems about right.
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We finally changed milk to before the bath with Cadan at 2yo mainly as I was hoping to wean and felt he was more likely to get ready with Daddy and not want to feed than he was going to want to get in bed and go to sleep without feeding. It worked and I weaned him at 26mo. I'll probably do the same with Colby when he reaches two. I need to get rid of the day time feed first though.
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Well done for getting to 2 years Nuala!
We're still going strong here at 18 months and E is *obsessed* with milk which I am increasingly finding difficult as it's like she wants to be feeding all.the.time. I often say no which leads to full sobbing meltdowns. I distract, offer drinks and snacks, but so much of the time this does not work and she just sobs and sobs until I feed her. If she was doing this for something like chocolate (she is very partial to a square of dark chocolate ::)) then I know that I wouldn't 'reward' the tantrum with what she wants iyswim - but it feels different with BF, so I am torn ???. What do you ladies think? She often will only want to feed for 2 minutes, but then will be back again 15 minutes later! Other times she will happily go for hours.
Anna - YES - that picture of Audrey is just adorable!!!
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tricky claire!! There are PLENTY of people out there that would say offerring whenever she asks is totally apropriate... AND THAT"S TOTALLY VALID- But.. i'm on the other side of the fence in a way- we only feed at BT and wake up and in between i just say 'oh no, it's not bed time' or something similar. As he's not had it in the day forever it's not a problem. Can you try offerring just a cuddle on the bed or something instead? Hamish has a cuddle LOTS AND LOTS through the day- i'd say he'd have a feed every time he wanted a little snuggle if we did that!!
if you are finding the lots of feeds aren't working for you can you try limiting it to a few set times in the day? That way you can say 'not now- after your nap' etc... that way she knows she'll get it at some point. May not reduce the tantrum to start but may help?
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Stan NEVER used to ask for milk outside our set 'times'. Audrey asks for milk any time she finds me sitting down. Usually she can be distracted - often she wants a drink or a snack - but other times what she really wants is a cuddle. She initially gets quite upset but if I keep telling her it's not milk time (usually because she fed just half an hour before, if it's been a while I'll happily feed her) but she can have cuddles, she'll usually relent and take the cuddles. Possibly easier because she has a dummy and I keep one downstairs for exactly these occasions.
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Audrey asks for milk any time she finds me sitting down
::) clearly the whole purpose of you sitting is to feed Audrey!!
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Hugs Claire. I don't really have any BTDT experience as F was always pretty happy with her 'routine' feeds - WU, after naps etc - so it was rare for her to ask at another time unless teething or unwell, and even as we dropped each of those feeds gradually she hardly ever then went back to asking at the old time, iyswim. But I totally agree that insistently asking for a bf seems different from asking for a treat or an activity as it's often just as much about the comfort and mummy time really, isn't it? So I wonder if you could have another connecting thing to offer, if offering a drink or snack isn't working - a "special cuddle/story/roly-poly time with mummy", whatever she really enjoys - and as Katy says, milk is only at set times that she can predict?
So after me saying we're almost done, guess who was looking for a feed at 3am this morning ::) Must be the molars I think - but luckily she didn't make too much of a fuss when I told her she'd have to wait until morning!
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Audrey asks for milk any time she finds me sitting down
::) clearly the whole purpose of you sitting is to feed Audrey!!
I know, right?
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Colby has been asking lately when he never used to. I can normally distract but sometimes if I fancy a sit down I will feed him ;)
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My toddler has always gotten whenever he wanted and it's never been set times. Well, from he was born until he was 15 months or so he fed every 2 hours, so that was pretty "set".
And he fed often and many times a day until he was pretty big, 18-20 months or so. Now he's usually too busy during the day.
He hardly wants his afternoon feed now, sometimes he'll have a few minutes. But the long ones (15-20 min.) are bedtime and wake up.
But it's really something that has got to work for you, everybody is different.
I've been wondering about my toddler's teeth too. We're going for a well-baby (well-child?) visit in about a month and I was wondering about asking the nurse if I should take him to the dentist this year. He won't be called in until next year when he's three. But I was wondering if we should check it out earlier. I know what kellymom says though, and it does give me peace about it.
I just love the bedtime feeding in the bedroom, and having this cuddly, sleepy "baby" (2 yo. next week) on my lap and putting him to bed and singing. I'd hate to interrupt it with brushing teeth. We brush before we go into the bedroom of course. I kinda hope he weans before we have to start brushing after.
amayzie, love that pic of Pink!
And I'm so happy we live in a place where nursing in public actually IS concidered completely normal. I've nursed my toddler in public recently, and will again if he wants to.
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Solene I'd be happy to nurse her any time she asked BUT I must admit I don't go for it when she nurses for 1.5mins then unlatches - but screams at me if I try to put my boob away. She wants me to sit on the floor near her, with my boobs out, in CASE she wants a sip ::) ::)
I do nurse her in public, fine with that - but, I do try to make sure that I think she's going to nurse for a decent time so she's not going to be popping off every 20 seconds
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Haha. Yeah, your sole purpose is to be snack-available.
Whenever my toddler sees me coming out of the shower or changing, he'll try to latch on. I can not have the girls at his height when nekkid, he'll just jump on.
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Clare, we had this issue too. I did DODR (still offering WU and BT but not during the day) at 12-13 months when DH said I should stop BF ::) L soon worked out he'd get milk if he asked and he even would grab my hand, lead me to a chair, tell me to sit, climb on me, take my boob out and have a feed :-\ We are probably 3 weeks without a feed other than BT now but we did that by offering 'special milk' - cows milk with ever-diminishing amounts of quik - as a substitute. He was basically using the feed as a calming mechanism, so I also started giving him his dummy and a cuddle to help him calm but the we ended up with his dummy in his mouth all the time. Just getting out of that now where he's happy for me to carry it in the bag and he can ask for it if he needs it. He is now not really drinking much cows milk either, but it was the transition away from looking for the breast at every small upset, twinge of thirst, view of breast, etc.
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OMG, love this LOL ;D
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I've seen these!! Awesome!!
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Love it!!!
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Hahaha!
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Hey, i've been occasionally getting hamish start feeding, then come off either quizzically, or on one occasion really cranky and upset (he wasn't a happy camper that day already) and say 'stuck' and i think sometimes even point to my boob and say 'milk stuck'.. any idea what this is about ???
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Slower flow/letdown, perhaps?
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Maybe letdown? I dunno. Audrey's being crabby nursing too, don't know if it's impatience for letdown or teeth. She'll latch on, nurse for 20 seconds, then come off crying and signing 'milk'. Frustrating.
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Maybe if he's teething he's having trouble latching properly?
We're officially done here, since a week or so ago. F hadn't asked for milk in almost a week, then her teeth were bothering her so she did one time and it was like she had forgotten how to latch. She couldn't figure it out :( I knew they forgot, but didn't think it would be so fast! I thought she would be upset but she wasn't, just a bit quiet...and she hasn't asked again since. It's funny - over the past three weeks she's frequently been watching her newborn cousin feeding so I was expecting lots of requests for milk, but it's like seeing him just confirmed in her mind that she's a big girl now and doesn't need milk like he does. She is seeming like a big girl in so many ways recently so it's all a bit :'( and :) together.
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it's all a bit and together.
I think that that's somethingthat you'll be feeling again and again over the next 20 years! You;d never truly wish them to stay frozen in time- but there's something sad about it when they move on!
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it's all a bit :'( and :) together.
It is that. Be kind to yourself. You'll have a dip in hormones again now as you did post delivery, so expect to feel a bit blue and if you don't, consider it a bonus :-*
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You;d never truly wish them to stay frozen in time- but there's something sad about it when they move on!
So true. My girls are so big right now, but sometimes it's when James does something that makes him seem older that's the hardest, maybe because it's so easy to remember his tiny baby days still.
At any rate, big ((((hugs)))) Nuala and well done! :) :-*
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do you find it harder erin as he's your last? (i assume- that;s a bit of an assumption on my part- you may well be planning more...)
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do you find it harder erin as he's your last? (i assume- that;s a bit of an assumption on my part- you may well be planning more...)
No, definitely not planning any more here, and very happy with that decision. But yes, it does make it harder -- and it's also harder seeing how big the girls are (Katie will be 8 in a week and a half --- 8!!!!!) and knowing how quickly it really does all go. :(
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Is that still happening Katy & Anna? It's been happening here too lately.
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She's stopped. Think it was teething for us. Was a frustrating couple of weeks. Found that if I could do something to distract her like play with her fingers or sing, she'd be a wee bit better.
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um... do you mean the 'stuck' business? It happens a bit still. THe other day (yesterday) he flatly refused one side! He said no to any but then i twisted his arm by popping out by boob- but then i offerred the other side and he said 'no, no milk, no otherone'.... so i felt that was pretty clear.
I then drove to work with my bra undone... but that's another issue ::)
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Yes, the stuck thing.
Teething is a strong possibility... Just wish they'd cut already!!!! It's very odd having him ask where the milk is, I've always struggled with oversupply :p
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It's weird hey!! It could be teeth... could it be that you were anxious or something and didn't get a let down? Perhaps he sucked a bit and didn't get the let down?
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Ok ladies, what do you do if the kiddo bites?
My 2 year old has never, ever bitten me before. This morning he did. First once, and I thought it was just an accident, so I just overlooked it (and it probably was an accident). Then once more, and that time I could see in his face that he was testing it out, so I just removed the boob right away and bottoned up my shirt. He was a little upset and said he wanted more, but I said he bit me and couldn't have more right now.
It was hard enough to leave a mark, but obviously not so hard that I couldn't control my reaction.
What do you guys do? Is it ok to tell him he can't have more if he bites? Or will that end the nursing? I don't wanna stop.
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I think you have to do what you have been doing- i would DOUBT it would end the nursing relationship- although the biting may be the start of your LO saying they are not as interested... I think the general suggestion is to just stop feeding. I usually say something like 'no- no biting mummy, you are finished'. He went through a period of biting but he's stopped now. You might not ant to say that sort of language- but it works for us. I usually don't shout or use a tone- i may say a stern 'no' but then the 'you are finished' or something is just a matter of fact statement rather than a scold.
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F rarely bit, but it was usually when teething. I would give a reminder of "it hurts mama if you use teeth" (and usually my reaction - flinch, saying ouch etc, was enough!) and then if she did it again, would just say something like "you must have had enough now" and stop. More common was that her latch was a little bit funny when teething, so it might feel a bit like a bite but it was just pressure, she didn't mean to be doing it - so then I would get her to stop and try again.
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yeah- sometimes even when not teething hamish gets a bit lazy or keen or something and it hurts a bit- you know, it's like he tries to use my boob and his teeth as leverage to get into a comfortable position ::)
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Hey- check out this! I'm a bit mixed about the idea actually.. not sure if i think it's weird or not...
https://www.facebook.com/BreastMilkKeepsakes
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I'm leaning towards a bit weird, personally....I think F herself is enough reminder of our breastfeeding time! Interesting idea though :)
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Thanks guys, he (thankfully) hasn't bitten me again. Maybe he got the hint.
And well, I know I would be weirded out if my mum showed me a piece of jewlery like that with her BM from when I was little. So eh, no thanks for me. To each their own though.
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Cute I guess but I think I will make do with a photo.
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Ok- Had to share... another story under the 'adventures in extended breastfeeding' title: This morning after the feed Hamish looked for his ernie doll, then said 'ernie milk too!' after which ernie proceeded to have some milk from mummy's boob.. LOL!
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Yeah, we had that for a while, with F's lovey, Sheepy - he had to "share". Then, as we were weaning, she went through a phase of having to feed Sheepy herself, every night before bed (and she WOULD NOT go to bed without doing it - both sides lol). She seems to have forgotten about that in the past week or so though, probably with the excitement and tiredness of moving.
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DD was the same (actually still is). Even though she's stopped nursing, she still likes teddy to have a bit of 'nong nong' from time to time :D
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Ah love the sharing
Colby has developed this annoying habit of twisting his little hand round and round my bra strap so it gets all tight and stretched. He actually did it without me realising the other day and then fell asleep. I laid him in the cot and then as I tried to come away I was dragging him up with me by the wrist that was tied up in my bra strap. He woke, cried out "boob" twice and then passed out. ;D
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Hi Ladies! DS2 turns a year old on Tuesday, so I think I am now an extended BFing mama :) Looking forward to following along!
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Good job, Carly :)
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Yay! *waves* Hi Carly!
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Well done Carly! Ali, that's hilarious! Katy, I'm going with weird. :)
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i'm still BFing too...not sure what my plan is but i am ready for some nicer bras. i may stop the BF before BT so I we can switch kids. DH can put DD down and I can put DS down. DH needs more DD quality time bc she is def a mama's girl.
yea, i think the necklace is a bit odd but something i might buy and then never tell anyone lol. my DH would be completely grossed out. i still have both kids' umbilical cords hidden away LOL.
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Welcome Carly.
Heather, with Cadan I used to BF him and then DH would take him away and brush teeth and get him in his sleeping bag and actually lay him in the crib. Maybe something like that would work until you drop the BT feed.
We are still feeding strong 4 times a day, sometimes 3. I am just going with it for now. I had dropped to morning and BT with Cadan by this age.
I was chatting to a mother of a 12mo today who was embarrassed to admit she had only just weaned her DS off the boob. She was happier when I said I was still feeding Colby now at 18mo. Then she felt comfortable to admit that she felt guilty as they did it cold turkey because he was reverse cycling since she returned to work and feeding for 3hrs at night. I told her she had done fabulously to feed him for a year and it felt good that she seemed to take comfort in that ;D I always feel like I don't know people who do extended nursing and then I find out that people I know do, I just don't see it. It really is so much more common than apparent because it is mainly at home I think.
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Hi Carly!
We're still going here too. 3-4 times a day and a NF ( :o ::) :'().
Ev is still so ridiculously excited about BF that it is cute/hilarious/infuriating in different measures depending on how tired I am ;)! We call her the little flamenco dancer as when she signs for milk she puts her little hand in the air and it looks like she's playing the castanets ;D!!
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LOL!! Flamenco dancer!!
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Well- my little cherub today woke up from his nap this afternoon and demanded milk!! I had no other milk for him and he was pulling at my shirt so i gave in!! Usually he's easily deterred with a quick 'oh no- it's not bed time' and he's all good- but today he was so determined!! I just hope tomorrow i'm not engorged as he won't be having it!!
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We call her the little flamenco dancer as when she signs for milk she puts her little hand in the air and it looks like she's playing the castanets ;D!!
LOL!!! I know this little dance! Also dancing with excitement to see me - which is so lovely, when she runs over to see me, but as soon as she's in my arms or on my lap she's just frantically signing 'milk'... I guess milk and mummy are still one and the same thing for now.
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it is cute/hilarious/infuriating in different measures depending on how tired I am
Glad I am not the only one that feels that way! Sometimes I feel like I could go on for another year, other times I don't think I can do another minute. Now that he is a year, I am going to stop offering and see how much he demands LOL
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Is there any reason I shouldn't still feed on demand? She eats well (usually) but still BFs 3-6 x in 24hrs
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If you're happy with what you're doing, there's no good reason to change anything :)
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The only part I'm not so keen on is the shouted commands! "MILK!" "OFF!" "MORE!" "OTHER!" (and, when she shouts 'other', it sounds like 'udder' ::) ::) )
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No, the WHO actually recommends feeding on demand day and night until 2yo! That's a bit much for me though. we are generally doing 3x a day.
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I guess I'm a teeeeeny bit worried about HOW exactly I'm going to stop. But it's not an immediate worry. I'd be happy if she was starting to cut down by herself - I don't offer (except at bedtime) but she's very clear what she wants and most of the time I don't bother trying to settle her without BF at NWs (usually only 1 although she's teething molars AND canines at the mo).
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LOL at udder :) Can imagine it might not sound quite right in front of the wrong people, though! :o
If you get to the stage that you do want to cut down, she might be more easily distracted by then
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we're on 2 feeds d similarly- theres no real sign of that changing! seems odd at 2 to go 'that's all!!'
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We still feed on demand except nights. I quit nights around his 2nd b'day and it was only one night he was really upset.
He was actually feeding every 2 hours from he was born until 15 months! (Well, he slept a little longer at night.)
Now he's 26 months and we're usually down to mornings and bedtime. Sometimes an afternoon, but it's been a week now without.
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This little girl is driving me crazy. She's learned to say 'other-one' and now she's wanting to constantly switch sides nursing. She'll go for 30-60 seconds on one side, then sit up saying 'other-one', then nurse on the other side, and switch back and forth several times before she finally gets a let down (would happen more quickly if she would just stay with it). It's really making nursing not a happy experience, and she gets super upset if I try to get her to stick to one side for a few minutes.
Between that and yelling "OFF!!" at me and tugging at my clothes if any part of my clothing has the audacity to touch any part of her face, it's really getting quite confrontational.
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Oh Anna, I've got the same with Little Miss Ten-Feeds-Per-Day Evelyn ::) :-\ ;). I really don't know how I'm ever going to wean her as she will *not* be distracted by anything else, and goes wild if I don't feed her ???
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We had the constant switching and it was so annoying. I just allowed it but when I got fed up I just told him next time he comes off it is BT (always at BT feed) and this is the last bit.
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How you all doing ladies (and babies)? I'm wondering whether to drop the am feed, although I'm not sure that she'd let me. Now that she's sleeping through she has a great big BF first thing in the morning and then of course doesn't want any breakfast at all, but is starving an hour or two later.
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All going Well- Daddy was offered some milk before hamish the other morning.. he declined... ;D
As for the morning feed- can you just delay breakfast? Probably hard with you and the boy wanting to eat i guess... It works in our favour as it gets him to my mum's in the morning without starving...
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L was ok with dropping the morning feed so long as we did breakfast immediately upon waking and it had to be substantial - porridge or something.
DH thought he'd just ignore my presence in the house and try to wean L off the BT feed himself ::) That backfired massively! He started EWing again and asking for milk then - that's when DH's at his weakest and will send me in to feed L so he can keep sleeping... so now L is asking several times a day again when he had been perfectly happy with a very short and sometimes non-existent (he'd skip it of his own accord occasionally) BT feed and I have to go through the whole supply reduction sore boob thing again. Yep, after 2 years I still get engorged if L misses a feed.
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Oh dear Bec that sounds annoying. What is DH's problem with the feeding?
We are still feeding morning Wu, after lunch and at BT. We skip the lunchtime feed if we are out though. He never asks when out, presumably because it has been so long since I fed away from home, at least 8 months. I'm just plodding along now really.
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What is DH's problem with the feeding?
I don't know, TBH. He is much stronger in his opposition to it after he's seen his parents, so I suspect its something his father says. The other night I asked if it was harming Logan and he said "Physically, no. Psychologically, I don't know" so maybe he thinks DS'll be somehow scarred :-\
I think its something he didn't see as normal when he was growing up (his mum BF'd him the longest of all her kids and that was only til 6 months and mix fed most of that time from what she's told me). His father seems to think it highly unnatural ??? He was really pushing formula in L's first/second week and had plenty to say to DH (and nothing to me - just looks) when I was BFing him at 8 months.
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The other night I asked if it was harming Logan and he said "Physically, no. Psychologically, I don't know" so maybe he thinks DS'll be somehow scarred
UGH!! No he DI-UNT!! (picture me as big black woman pouting my lips and doing the 3 clicks.... ) (kind of works more in real life...) I must say though- although the reasoning behind his argument is MASSIVELY flawed- i would think that at 2+ it might just be easier all round for you to work towards dropping feeds rather than fight to keep them IYKWIM? Under 2 or DEFINITELY under 1 i'd be WELL all about keeping it- but... if it's going to be some massive issue... ::)
this is where TV has not supported extended breastfeeding.. people see you feeding a 2.5 year old and it's an immediate jump to either the woman still feeding her 8 year old, or the guy out of little Britain!! There is a happy medium!!
Also- i've been thinking about the fact that he's almost 2 :o in 3 weeks... and i was planning on feeding him till 'at least 2'... but it seems odd to just say 'happy birthday- no more booby'... but there doesn't seem to be any real sign of him dropping it on his own! I don't actually mind continuing... EXCEPT- we MAY start trying for another baby (haven't talked to DH yet... ) how does the 2 feeds a day affect fertility? My period came back almost right away after hamish... but fertility is in no way my strong point ::) so i want everything to be in my favour!!
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i would think that at 2+ it might just be easier all round for you to work towards dropping feeds rather than fight to keep them IYKWIM?
Silly thing is that I already was gently extending the time between feed and bed with songs, stories and he was already cutting down the amount of time feeds were taking and even quite happy without a feed while I was in the house. Its not a massive fight, TG, but its just irritating when he acts upon his doubts instead of talking to me about it and us deciding together - makes our parenting seem a bit disjointed.
I could be wrong - I don't think BFing affects fertility if you have your period back :-\
See what happens after the developmental leap around 2YO, Katy - that's when L started dropping his feeds more. Not sure if that was also related to feeling more comfortable in our new house/his new daycare, etc. Oh, and maybe when you get pregnant, Hamish will dislike the change in your milk and wean himself ;)
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Lots of information about fertility and BF here - http://kellymom.com/bf/normal/ttc-while-bf/
The one thing that came to my mind before reading a bit of that was that some women have AF without ovulating, so... :-\
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but its just irritating when he acts upon his doubts instead of talking to me about it and us deciding together - makes our parenting seem a bit disjointed.
yeah- and you want to get this sorted- the last thing you want with a school aged child or teen is disjointed parenting... easy enough to say though!! ::)
Hmm- well i might just keep going then and not stress about weaning.. it's just the 2 feeds and he doesn't mind skipping if we have to go to mum's right away in the morning..
Thanks amanda- i'll have a look! Again- the timing may turn out that he stops before we start trying anyway- BUT i'd hate to wean him just to improve fertility when it may make no difference! Especially if we have so much trouble that we decide this is the extent of our family!
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Does depend who you ask. We had to work at it to conceive Audrey, I was seeing an acupuncturist because of a short luteal phase and non-ovulatory cycles, she was very sure that BF depletes the body and if you're having trouble with fertility you often have to 'put back' what BF has taken out of you. She had me make some dietary and lifestyle changes as well as the acupuncture itself.
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Great link amanda- just read it! I hadn't even considered the drugs! I didn't need them last time- but you never know this time!
interesting amanda..
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We were still on 4 feeds a day when I got pregnant with Colby. I know many people do get PG with BFing so it is certainly possible.
I went to see a dermatologist today about some psoriasis I have and we were discussing BFing on the meds she wanted to prescribe. I had mentioned he was one so she said "if he's one you"ll be weaning soon anyway so just start the new meds when you've stopped BFing". That's an assumption! She didn't even know he was 20mos so bit narrow minded to assume I was weaning I thought. Annoying though as she doesn't really want to start me on anything until I've stopped BFing. We've made another appt for 6 months time as I said I would probably have stopped by then. I'd like to slowly encourage him to wean soon after he turns two if possible. I will feel like I've done my job if I reach 2yo YK? Silly but it works for me :)
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Totally get it! Especially if you have meds you'd like to take to make YOUR life easier!! I don't have psoriasis but i do have dermatitis that can be a bit of a b#*$tard at times- so i can imagine you'd like to get onto the drugs! I would have liked to start on a pill i've heard can help reduce hormonal facial hair.. ah well- that is a bit of a far off dream! I can see waxing is in my future for the next few years at least!!
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Katy, I was on Clomid when we were TTC dd1 and it took quite awhile. I didn't get AF back until after I stopped nursing, but got pg straight away the first cycle -- for me, pregnancy seemed to have changed things and made it easier for me to get pg, maybe that will be the case with you too?
Bec -- I've got a friend who is a professor/research in child development -- would you like me to ask her to find some studies about how you're not psychologically damaging L? ::)
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Bed - that's awful. he is just uninformed.
we've DTD around the time id be ovulating a couple of times so i think it is pretty much impossible for me to get pregnant again w/o help (had help with DD)! not going that route again so if it happens it happens...but it prob won't which is sad and one reason i'm still BFIng bc chances are i'll never BF again.
i have a friend who needed help the first time and got pregnant soon for #2. she was "advance maternal age" too.
part of me is ready to wean bc i have some health stuff. nothing major - uch as one thing is- i have horrible dry eyes but to treat it i can't be BFing. Been wanting to treat for.ev.er now but with TTC, etc haven't been able to.
also, Dh & I want to take a trip ALONE for a few days this july. if i'm still BFing, do i need my pump?? i really, really have no interest in taking my pump! or do you think it would be OK for a few days and i can self express if needed? DD will be happy to drink milk from a cup.
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Fertility is such an individual thing, whether BF or not. For us, DS was conceived on our second proper cycle of trying, but DD took over 1.5y. They do say that if you have a c/s the first time, that can affect things too. :-\
Heather, I'd probably not bother with the pump and hand express a bit if you get uncomfortable at all.
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thanks amanda! she drinks alot of milk during the day so i don't think i'm her main supply these days ;)
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DS is 15.5 months and I just found out I am pregnant with #2 (4.5 weeks). I was working on weaning him prior to getting pregnant as I thought that might need to happen in order to have another baby, but with 3 feeds a day, I was able to get pregnant. We are excited but now I am like "crap, I am pregnant and exhausted and starving and I am feeding 3 people!"
I know many of you have nursed through and after your pregnancies, I just don't know that I am cut out for that. I didn't even think we would make it to 1 year of nursing and am happy for as far as we have made it. I am not quite sure DS is ready though. I didn't feed him before nap today and so far so good, but getting through that first thing in the morning and right before bedtime wean I think will be much tougher.
So yesterday I noticed my right breast felt sore right before I fed DS. THen my nipple hurt while he was feeding. It hurt all last night and this morning when he latched (not terrible, but uncomfortable). Do you think this is just a sensitivity from being pregnant? DS is also right about to cut his last 1 year molar and 1 other tooth and I feel like his latch is a little funky these days. I tried getting a deeper latch this morning and hopefully that helped. It is almost a plugged duct but more sore than firm. I am not familiar with thrush and hope that's not it.
Any ideas?
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congrats!
so there is a hard area? have you tried massaging it?
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amazyie - I got AF back at just before DS turned 11 months and had long anovulatory cycle. The next cycle is where I cut down to 5 feeds a day and I ovulated then but really late (CD 30 of 41 day cycle). Next 2 cycles, I ovulated around my pre-baby time (CD 16-17) and by then I was down to 3-4 feeds a day.
I just started tracking my BBT, etc. for baby #2. I really like fertilityfriend.com. I would guess at 2 feeds you are probably ovulating and your luteal phase is likely long enough, but tracking your data would help you be sure.
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Nona - not really a hard area like you would have with a plugged duct. Feels pretty much the same as my other breast but is sore to the touch. So weird to have oddness this late in the game.
I massaged it some last night, warm compress and then massaged in hot shower today. Maybe it's already healing, the tissue just needs a few days.
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my cycles have been every 28 days since 8 months. this month i didn't seem to get my ovulatory signs but AF still came on time.
i'm sure DS is just latching funny bc of teething.
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Is it just one particular spot that's sore? Any redness? Fever?
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Katie, I did get sore nipples during pregnancy but it was more during the feeds and quickly returned to being comfortable afterwards. It could definitely be the need tooth. I hope it is nothing more serious and gets better soon.
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I'm hoping for the 'it took us soo long to get pregnant with number one but then we just FELL into the second pregnancy'... would be nice- My period is still a bit al over the place- as it was before.. so I don't know that that much has changed. We only tried for just over 12 months- felt like FOREVER to us- but not long in comparison to others.
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DS had a funny latch every time he got a tooth for the entire 16ish months he nursed, so it could be that. I'd keep some heat on it and massage if there's a lump just in case. Congrats!
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Thanks for the offer, Erin - I may take you up on that later on, but for the moment I think we'll stick with the IL avoidance tactic :P
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Ha! That works too!
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Woh. I'm starting to feel like I'm never going to be able to drop a BF here. ATM she's nursing 4-5 x per day when she's home (wake up, mid morning (usually - can sometimes distract if I have a 'good enough' snack), before AND after nap, bedtime). It's like, nursing = love to her... she breaks. her. heart if she asks to nurse and I say no. Thursday she got home from the childminder and wanted to nurse but I was preparing dinner and if I had nursed at 5.30pm there would be no milk for the bedtime feed. Oh my heavens. 20 minute meltdown, wouldn't be consoled.
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Anna, my little one nursed every 2 hours until 15 months! And then 4-5 times a day until he was 2 years and 2 months. Then he just suddenly dropped down to morning and night during a holiday. Except when he's home and naps (and not in daycare), then he nurses before nap too.
But yeah, he did it on his own, even though he nursed that much for that long.
And I still love the morning and night. I do think that *I* might stop if he turns three and still wants too, then I might be done.
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Hi All- I just had to pop on to say that i've made it to 2 years!! :D Although in some ways it's an achievement- I actually had a really good run of it, no real problems at all- so i'm not at all smug about it.. It's easy to stick at something when it's easy!
I went and posted on another forum about it too (I feel like a cheater now...) It was the australian breastfeeding association forum- they are pretty hard core BF enthusiasts.. has some good info- but also some very left/hippy suggestions.. A particularly fun thread was about how you can DTD when you are co-sleeping with more than one toddler!! :o The key point was - QUIETLY!!
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And there's a thread on the extended breastfeeding board (there's a whole board about it of course) is talking about BFing a 5 year old who doesn't seem to want to wean any time soon!! Again- each to their own of course, but not SURE that i'll still be having hamish having a nightly feed once he's in kinder... (although that comment may well come to bite me on the bum!! :P )
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LOL Katy, congrats! :)
And how in the world do you have time to keep up with multiple forums?
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Well done on reaching 2 years :)
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Pleased you made it to two years. Are you carrying in until Hamish weans himself do you think?
Two years is always my goal. We are only a couple months off with Colby now. He still feeds 2-3x a day, BT, WU and sometimes at lunch time if we are home. I love BFing but wouldn't mind if he lost interest now. He happily skips feeds in the morning and at lunch if he is distracted but only at BT if I am out and DH does BT.
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Well done Katy. We made it to 2 yrs but I just weaned B at 25mo. He was a boob monster and we went from 4 or 5 feeds some days to none with very little problems. He was also easy bf unlike early days with K, but who also got 2yrs. I was worried about him being 3 and still wanting it, I am getting slightly better sleep now TG.
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He's on'y on the 2 feeds- and doesn't have them if i'm out or we have to rush off in the morning- but usually one feed a day at least.. I was thinking i'll see if he loses interest- and then if he doesn't then i'll stop it when i get over it...
And i only did one post on the other forum- could never keep up with more than one! Especially as this board is a lot more middle of the road on most topics- the ABA board is VERY over the top on some topics..
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Does anyone have any experience with how long it takes your "girls" to get back to their real size after you stop nursing?
It doesn't look like we're stopping anytime soon, I'm just curious if we're talking weeks, or months or whatever. I can not remember.
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I would say mine are back to normal now after nearly 3 weeks. I never had any discomfort or had to pump after weaning though which I do know some mums do so that may be a factor, sure it varies.
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Are they back to the size they were before you got pregnant with K? I don't want mine to go back to their smaller size but expect they will. May well cry if they go smaller ;)
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Yes back to prepg, no smaller
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I want mine to go back to pre-preggo, or smaller (hahaha). They are more than big enough. I have never leaked or been painfully engorged, even when he was newborn, and he's always gotten enough, so I'm hoping I won't have any troubles with that.
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I need mine to *grow*!! BF has not been kind to me (or my DH :P)!
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Think that's pretty unlikely, Claire, sadly
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Yep, I know...I'll just have to get pregnant again to enjoy having a cleavage for once ;D
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LOL!
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Mine seem to be slightly larger than they used to be as I had to go out and get new bras. It took at least a month for them to settle into a new size though.
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Does anyone else's LO like to hold funny things while nursing? Colby often holds the parent unit of our video monitor and sometimes his blankie (which he isnt that taken with tbh). Yesterday he decided he desperately needed to hold his big, bulky Fisher Price My First Telephone like this. http://www.amazon.co.uk/gp/aw/d/B00000IZOR/ref=redir_mdp_mobile ::) And he likes it nestled between us so it was quite uncomfortable. Little terror.
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Yes! D used to do that a lot. That said, she used to usually have her muslin as well which is still very much a feature even since she stopped BF
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Hamish at times brings a toy with him that he then drives/walks jumps on me.. if he doesn't have a toy he may stick his fingers in mummy's 'noses' (or my nostrils) or try to find 'other one side' - the other side ::) Wandering hands!!
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Yes b tried to put his hand in the other side, even now he is weaned. It makes me cringe tbh
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mine are smaller but i'm also almost 10 lb lighter than pre-preg. with my DS i remember my boobs looked better when he was 2. i'm not holding my breath this time around. can't complain too much - i'm a 32 C but they def don't look like oranges anymore!
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So- i;m going away for 2 nights for training for work.. will this be the end of my supply? Or should he be able to pick up and run with it again after i get back? I'm fairly reluctant to pump if i don't need to... Not that it matters overly- i just would prefer BFing to end because he or I actually want it to rather than because i have compulsory training to go to in sydney!
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If you're anything like me, you'll pick up right where you left off. From what I understand, it takes a while for the supply to go when you've been feeding this long.
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ah- nice! That would be good....
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What Bec said. I'm taking part in a longitudinal study by Jack Newman on how long the body continues to produce milk after cessation of feeding. There may not be much there, but I'm still getting out a little 5 months later, so reckon supply will be ok after 2 days, it's whether or not he'll want to go back to feeding :-\
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it's whether or not he'll want to go back to feeding
this doesnt worry me that much... its more if he wanted to and there was nothing there
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You'll be good then :)
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so all is fine! although i'm fairly worried about eventually stopping :-\ On the third day things started getting pretty sore- and then by the time i spent the evening with hamish i was ready to bust!! :o Although DH did suggest that hamish may not be interested anymore- he was- no problem there... Cue the 5 year old having a feed before school ::)
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On the third day things started getting pretty sore- and then by the time i spent the evening with hamish i was ready to bust!!
Me too. Just don't stop it cold turkey ;)
TBH, DS is reducing the amount he feeds on his own - feeds are getting shorter and less frequent quite slowly. Provided DH keeps his mouth shut and doesn't say that L's getting too big for milk or I'm going to have to wean soon, L continues on that path. Every now and then DH says something and L feeds a lot more.
He was BFing his doll on the way home from the park this afternoon... could be interesting :-\
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That's what i'm hoping- that DS will slowly reduce. If i can be bothered at some point i might drop the morning feed- but to be honest, i've actually never had to work at dropping a feed, so i don't really want to bother! I'm clearly a lazy person...
Has DS eased up on that stuff? I know you were saying that your DHs family was having an impact on his thinking...
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He's been quiet on that front for a while apart from one comment that L is getting too big for milk when we last visited the IL's. I explain to him what happens when he says things like that but it seems not to make a difference.
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::)
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::)
I agree. Glad to hear things are mostly going ok though! :)
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Wow- I tell you what- I thought that i was considered mad for feeding past 1 year, but if you are feeding past 2 years- you are CLEARLY a mad woman!!! :o As in the family and friends ALL think that it's a bit much!! I've decided that i'm just going to have to say to people that i don't do it anymore to avoid people thinking i'm breastfeeding an 8 year old!!
HOWEVER- i was thinking i'd start to cut out the night feed, as it isn't actually my intention to keep the feeding going until he starts schooland i thought i'd start to reduce it. The night is the main one that people see. (Not that this should be a consideration- but it is! I just reckon i can keep the morning going in the privacy of our own home, but the night people see when they're over...)
So last night i tried the 'when daddy does stories we have no milk' thing- expecting a battle!! So we had a bit of 'oh MILK!!' and then that was it!! Sound like a good way to proceed?
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If he'll go for it, sounds like a good plan, Katy :)
L must be feeling a bit crook - maybe the same stomach bug DH has... he has been asking for milk more often lately and been super-cuddly too. I'm wanting to wean now though, so thought maybe I join the gym and go after dinner and leave DH to put L to bed :P I know L is fine without the BF when I'm not here and he's really NOT ok without it if I'm here. Getting through any NW's that happen though will be harder as DH won't get up.
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Bec, Would DH not even get up if you said it would help wean? He is desperate for you to wean isn't it? You are kinder than I am letting him get out of all NWs!
Katy, I can't believe people are so rude as to comment on your BFing H! Can you just feed him upstairs before putting him to bed if you don't want anyone seeing? Sorry you feel that way but I know what you mean. People who haven't experienced it are often very ignorant. I don't tend to mention it unless people as me. Luckily I have found a few mamas at play group who also fed/are feeding 1 or 2yos. I swear one who has a DS just younger than Colby is trying to outdo me by feeing him longer ::) she almost seems disappointed when I say I am still feeding him. Her DS hadly eats solid food at 21mo and is on the boob day night apparently and I think she likes to be seen as the martyr who is *still* having to feed a toddler. ::)
I am keen to wean soon but not willing to actively do it if it involves tears, which is will. I'd really like to wean the morning feed now. He skips it if DH gets him up so I will try to encourage that. Difficult to do that when DH is up and leaving for work early though.
We are also doing a midday feed which he skips if we are out and a BT feed which he only misses if I am out which has only happened a handful of times since he turned one. I get really uncomfortable and somewhat engorged if I miss both the morning and midday feed. I can never pump one side until empty and whenever I have missed a day or two of feeding I always get a blocked duct that doesn't clear until I feed LO and then it is gone in an instant. Worried that will be a problem when I wean for good but maybe not if I do it very gradually.
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I am keen to wean soon but not willing to actively do it if it involves tears, which is will.
Me too Ali, exact same situation/number of feeds. Ready to start winding down (she's nearly 21 months) but no idea how we're going to accomplish that when any suggestion of skipping any nursing is met with complete heartbreak. She's not OK with skipping milk if DH gets her up, unless I'm not at home, but will go down at bedtime without if I'm out - but that basically never happens.
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^^ me too ladies. I have really had enough now :-\. She feeds first thing in the morning, before nap and at bedtime. And often asks in between ::). But it's all the pulling and stroking and rooting about in my clothes that is bugging me :P, and I really don't know how to wean her without it being traumatic (I do actually think it will be if I stop now :-\) for her.
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I've just asked DH to get the boys up tomorrow and we are planing to avoid the boob in the mornings now. I will deal with the other two feeds at a later date but at least we are heading the right way.
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Her DS hadly eats solid food at 21mo and is on the boob day night apparently and I think she likes to be seen as the martyr who is *still* having to feed a toddler.
See- this is what people think of when they think of extended BFing... ::)
Last night was my stories night and i'm happy to still feed him- but thought i'd try to ease him out of it and not remind him- so on the way home i asked him all about what stories he wanted before bed.. you could almost see his little cogs turning in his head!! 'Milk first' .. ::) Can't be tricked that easily!! We'll keep up the no milk with daddy though...
Bec- is L feeling better? Tummy bugs can be awful!!
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B is doing ok without his milk. He still insists on putting his hand on my boob when he previously would have asked for milk though even 2 m later. That can be embarrassing and I hope he stops soon.
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KM, James still likes to put his hand on my boob (on the outside of my shirt though) and he's been weaned for almost a year. A friend of mine weaned her ds around 2 and he did that for awhile, then switched to putting his hand on his own "boob" then stopped that entirely. I think some kids just like the way it feels.
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Hi ladies, I haven't been around much, but I am feeling a bit proud/sad that our breastfeeding relationship is over, so I thought I would stop by and mope a bit! DS2 hasn't nursed for 4 days and has only 'asked' once, but was happy when I gave him his cup. Hoped to go a bit longer, but this was a stress free self wean, so I am happy.
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Well done, Carly!
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Bec, Would DH not even get up if you said it would help wean? He is desperate for you to wean isn't it?
He's pretty scarred from the 3hr screaming when he last did that :( He is keen on weaning though he's less desperate than he was.
He seems not to see that its easier if I'm not there squirting milk around the place because L's crying as well as saying no to feeding him.
Katy - yes, L seems better but now DH is in hospital with mysterious stomach pains, he is very clingy to me.
Glad your weaning is going smoothly, Carly :)
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Oh no!!
Well night 2 without milk before bed seems to be going ok- except that i think DS might have an ear trouble! Has been very unsettled!
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I'm glad others have kids that put their hands on their boobs too!
I usually don't care, because mine has always been that way, and it isn't about the boob, it's about the skin contact. He does it to all the people he's closest too (men as well). But sometimes, in public, it drives me batty. And I'm sometimes afraid that removing his hand and telling him not to will make him feel rejected. What do you guys do?
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Cadan still rests his hand on my chest when he wants comfort even now at 3.5yo and he weaned at 26mo. I don't do anything.
When Colby puts his hand down my top and even inside my bra I do take his hand out but I try to do it by manoeuvring him to a different position for a cuddle rather than just taking the hand away, yk?
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yes i do that. Although B did rip my top at a fair this weekend when i did that!!!
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Excellent job Carly!
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we are still nursing although part of me is ready to wean. i think i could do it pretty easily. at night she is obsessed with brushing her teeth and i can have DH put her down and in the morning and after nap i could give her milk instead right away. i dunno this is prob my last baby so i'm torn!
hoping for a stress free wean like carly :)
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Tell you what- that night feed's days are numbered!! I still will give him some molk on my story night if he asks- but honestly, he pops on there for about 10 seconds the first side- and often the same the second!! Sometimes he'll stick around for like 30 seconds on the second- but if ANYTHING distracts him he's DONE!! Not worth me taking my bra off for!! Oh- and whoever suggested the 'don't offer don't refuse' idea was clearly actualy a sneaky BF advocate... he never 'forgets' to ask!!
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We are on day 3 of no morning BF. He isgoing downstairs with DH while I shower and not asking. He did ask this morning as he was still upstairs when I was undressing but I just told him I was going to shower and then we could go down to have breakfast and he was happy with that.
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Cadan still rests his hand on my chest when he wants comfort even now at 3.5yo and he weaned at 26mo. I don't do anything.
When Colby puts his hand down my top and even inside my bra I do take his hand out but I try to do it by manoeuvring him to a different position for a cuddle rather than just taking the hand away, yk?
Yeah, I've tried thta, but his hand just goes right back. And that's what he always does, straight into my bra.
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but honestly, he pops on there for about 10 seconds the first side- and often the same the second!! Sometimes he'll stick around for like 30 seconds on the second- but if ANYTHING distracts him he's DONE!!
Honestly, this is what it was like with DD towards the end, so you might be closer to a self wean than you realise :)
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7 mornings of no BF and Colby has tonsillitis. He woke burning up this morning and crying with a rasping cough saying "ow, ow, ow" touching his throat and asking "booba mama?" So I fed him even though it was 5.20. Then he wouldn't let me leave although I haven't stayed with him to fall asleep for about a year. I ended up getting in his cotbed and curling up (again not done that before) with him grizzling and changing positions every 5 mins but I think he did go back to sleep. Poor boy. I suspect I shall be feeding a lot today. Shame as I just got my supply down from being engorged every morning. You have to make allowances when they are sick though huh?
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oh poor baby!! Tonsilitis is awful!! Fevers are awful!! When hamish was sick with the fevers a few weeks ago he was just so awful while we waited for the panadol to kick in- you know, panting, lethargic, unsettled... I just couldn't help thinking how lucky we are to be fairly certain that he's not got something that's likely to get really serious! (I know possible- but rare) Totally you can make allowances when they are sick!! :-* Hope he is feeling better soon!
We'd had a good run of no milk at night for a few days- but then the other night he was up REALLY late- as in 9.30 :o (we had been out- Dh and I thought it was like midnight!) and he started crying before bed for milk- as in relly crying- so i gave in!! Hoping tonight no milk again...
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Aww, Ali, poor little chap. Those antibodies will do a world of good for him :)
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Well he only had the 3 BFs that day anyway, that's all he asked for, and then yesterday and today he didn't mention the morning BF so we carried on without it and did the lunchtime and BT one. He does still ask for those although sometimes the BT one is short and then he sits up and says "no more mama, bed." And he goes to bed.
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Hi all, haven't been here in ages but we seem to have hit the weaning process so I felt like reading through some posts here to feel a sense of camaraderie! I know there's a weaning board but I felt like my posted was more suited to extended breastfeeding, let me know if not.
DD2 is going to be 2 years old on Wed. She loves nursing, and was wanting it constantly until I managed to cut it down to 3 times a day in the last few months (wake up, before nap, before bed). This made me feel more sane and okay with it. Now I've been starting to feel like it's time to wean, but I know how much she loves it...
Anyway, yesterday she said to me, "your milk is all gone right mama?" ... I think it was her way of saying she wasn't allowed to nurse in the middle of the day but I kind of rolled with it as an opportunity. I said yes, it's all gone, and we repeated this at bed time when she usually nurses. She was very upset but she went to sleep after a few minutes. This morning she was sad but pretty easily distracted and nap time just now was a couple minutes of crying but then passed out.
I don't feel quite as heart broken as with DD2, who was also 2, but I do feel sad. Mostly because I know it's her special mama time, she just loves it. My supply has been low so she was barely getting milk, just comfort. She eats tons of food. I don't even feel engorged and it's been well over 24 hours since we nursed. I just wonder if this is too sudden - it seems to be going smoothly so far but I wonder if I should keep the morning one going for a while and do it more gradually? Anyone gone from 3 (short) BF's to zero?
Thanks for listening...
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Yes we did this. This is us exactly. I would drop them all if you are ready. I think keeping one will confuse the issue if she thinks the milk is gone. I was also never engorged so guess they was min milk there anyway. B still likes to hold by boob if he is allowed 3 months on. But he still loves a nice cuddle. It is not the end of mama time.
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We haven't had a morning BF for a few weeks now so that is definitely gone now. He always has the BT one but it is about 5-10 mins max these days. I only do the lunchtime one if we are home hich is about 4x a week. If he falls asleep in the buggy or car then we skip that one.
Colby also keps saying the milk is all gone and when I al where he says in his belly. I'm not getting a full feeling at all even when we miss the midday feed. When I try to squeeze the nipple after he says that though there is still creamy milk there.
Sparrow, well done on getting to 2yo again. I know a couple of people on here have stopped suddenly, I'm sure they will be on to tell you about it. I would just keep going now you have started or shemay come back to it with a vengeance and it'll be harder to wean soon if that is what you want. good luck.
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Ali and K's mama, I can't tell you how reassuring this is. Thanks. Breasts are starting to feel full as evening comes on, but not in an engorged/painful way. How does it work when you stop??? With DD1 I was 8 months pregnant so I had no milk by the time we stopped. I figure I'll just stop producing - but where does the milk go that is sitting there in my breasts? Seems like a silly question but I don't really know what's going to happen!
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Someone else may have a more in depth explanation but in short but gets reabsorbed by the body.
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And i think that there's something about the faster you take the milk out (through feeding/expressing) the faster you produce it... the less you do this the slower it goes... so if you stop it will slow down.. you could if you were feeling really uncomfortable try something like expressing a little say once a day for a few days and then cut it out? This might be a more comfortable way for you to go?
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What they already said :)
Only hand express if you're feeling uncomfortable, though and only enough so you feel comfortable again :)
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Hello ladies, I've not been on this thread before. My dd is 2 tomorrow and I feel it is the right time for me to start gently weaning her. She usually has a feed when she wakes in the morning, at nap time if we are at home (3 or 4 times a week) and at bedtime. She did start sleeping through the night for a month or so but we are back to night wakings again so there is often another feed in the night.
I think the first thing in the morning feed will be fairly easy to lose unless she wakes really early and it is too early to take her down for breakfast. But I think the others will be much harder to drop as she associates feeding with comfort before sleeping. At the moment if she mentions milk at any other time of the day then I offer her a cup if we are at home or distract her or offer her water if we are out. But if she asks in the night she is much more insistent and more upset if I suggest we just cuddle.
Any advice on best ways to do this gently would be great. thank you
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I used to get DH to get her up in the morning and get her breakfast while I was in the shower when we were dropping the morning feed. He got to deal with the NWs for a while too ;)
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What if you told her there was no milk in the boobies and she would have it in a cup as she is a big girl now? Or is that too sudden?
We also got DH to take him downstairs to distract in the morning.
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I thought that sounded far too sudden but yesterday I told her that Mummy's milk had run out and I gave her a brand new Thomas the Tank beaker (she's really into Thomas at the moment) for her milk and she seemed quite happy. She mentioned it again this morning but I was able to give her the beaker and then distract her with a book. Maybe this isn't going to be as hard as I thought!
I do feel quite sad that our breastfeeding journey is over. We had a really shaky start and it took huge determination (and stubborness) to keep going in the early days. It took 4 months to achieve pain free nursing so to reach 2 years is a big achievement.
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Congratulations!!! Awesome that you've made it so far when i'm sure you had many 'I can't do this!' moments in the start!!
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Yay!
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You've done so well :)
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well done!
i'm torn btwn weaning and not...
i'm only nursing 1-2x a day (am and after nap). she is actually fine if i bring her a cup of milk instead (if i'm in a hurry - eg taking DS to school). however, she seems more clingy if i don't do it then it is hard for me to do anything. does that sound normal? i will ask her sometimes if she wants milk in a cup or mommy's milk and usually she wants both but LOVES drinking her milk out of a cup and usually wants another cup of milk AFTEr nursing.
with my DS i was more actively weaning but it seemed easier with him bc he wasn't so clingy. (ironically my DD is more independent in general).
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I really thought that the first thing in the morning feed would be the easiest to give up and that dd would object much more to stopping feeding to sleep at nap time and bed time but in fact she loves her beaker at these times and hasn't asked for mummy milk once. But first thing in the morning she really wants mummy milk and is still asking every day. Someone suggested making sure I gave her lots of cuddles first thing in the morning as it may be the closeness she wants rather than the milk so now I say "I haven't got any milk but I've got lots of cuddles" and give her a big cuddle. That seems to help she is usually fine to have her milk in a beaker then and isn't as clingy. Perhaps making a little time for extra cuddles in the morning might help your little one too?
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Yeah I'd say Colby was more clingy when we didn't nurse in the morning anymore. It didn't last that long though so I expect if you stuck with it she would relax with he clinginess too.
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thanks! i feel so rushed in the morning :/. dd is a later sleeper so i'm always waking her at the last minute adn then practically throwing her in the stroller to walk DS to school. sounds horrible but if she was up & toddling aroudn we would never get out of here on time! i'll work on organizing my morning better.
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How far do you have to walk ds to school? Could you use a carrier so dd gets close contact while you walk. Or maybe wear her in a sling while you get ready to go out. I have an Action Baby Carrier and as long as I get dd in a really good position and do it up properly it is very comfy to wear her in it. They do a toddler version for older children but we are still comfotable with the baby version and dd is 2. Just an idea, I know baby wearing isn't for everyone.
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not opposed but i doubt she would cooperate! i think i have an ergo somewhere.
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the ergo is great for toddler wearing- perhaps try a back carry? She might like that more?
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Heather, Audrey is exactly the same as your DD. More independent, but really clingy if she doesn't BF. Although to her BF = love. When I suggest she has a cup of milk instead of BF in the morning, she cries as if to say "WHY DON'T YOU LOVE ME ANY MORE!!"
Good luck with the carrier. I don't think I could use one with A at all now, she is 15kg.
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I never would have dreamed of finding myself joining this thread. My DS just turned a year, and I had always said I'd be done nursing him at that point. Only because I thought it was weird to nurse longer than a year. But it's not. He's still my baby, and I know that my milk is better for him than any other milk. So we're continuing to BF, I'm trying to wean it to WU and BT, but sometimes he'll wake up 45 minutes into his nap, and a quick BF will get him to calm down and go back to sleep. And... he's starting to want NFings again. He was a nightmare with this a few months back, nursing every 2 hours all night long. Then he went to my parents for 5 days, and that fixed him. But he seems to be going down that path again. Not nearly as bad, but if I don't feed him, he doesn't settle. Any tips/ideas? I don't want it to go back to NFings, but it's so hard not to. Lately he's been wanting a feeding around 5am, and then when he's up for the day at 6:30 he won't take a feed, which is fine, but it'd be really nice to just push that 5am feeding to 6:30!!
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Well done for getting to 12 months!
Is it possible to send in OH to settle him in the night?
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I could try that... but often DH doesn't hear him and if it's at 2/3am, my DH works and I don't so I feel bad making him get up.
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Is he teething? We had nfs creep in again at this age with molars coming through, and then again a few months later with canines. I just went with it to be honest, I knew it was teeth making her uncomfortable and she settled so much faster with a quick feed. It was easy to wean again once teeth were through -my DH would go to her and it only took a few nights each time, so maybe you could do it over a weekend when DH doesn't have to work the next day.
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Sounds good. I honestly can't tell if he's teething or not. He's really drooling but I can't get a proper look in his mouth. I've felt around with my fingers but can't really tell. He's waking regularly between 10-11pm and the only thing that settles him is a feed. Last night DH went in but he still wouldn't settle. I'm wondering if it's hunger? He's in the 97th percentile for height and weight so he's a big boy, and I did wean him from 4 feeds a day down to 2 (sometimes 3)...
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How much other fluid is he drinking over the course of the day? Just wondering if he's thirsty rather than hungry :-\
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He drinks a decent amount of water... at least 6 oz. probably 8
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Hmmm....well, there is a growth spurt around12m, so it could be he is a bit peckish, I guess.
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Hey guys :) I'm joining in here. C turned 1 last week and just as I thought he was going to wean, he has started to ask to nurse more often - I'm a very happy mummy.
I'll try and catch up over the weekend :)
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Awesome! Congrats on making it to 12 months!
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Well done Kelly. Enjoy the snuggles
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Wow, Kelly, I can't believe he's one already!! How time flies! Good going!
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Welcome!
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Corey was at his dad's last night and when I got him home he had an oaty bar in his high chair while I unpacked his bag and when I lifted him out for a cuddle he started pulling at my top. I think the little monster missed his boobies! ;)
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wow can't believe he is a year either kelly!
we have pretty much weaned (@19 months - she is almost 20 months). my MIL was in town a few weeks ago and got DD up every morning so i didn't nurse for 3 mornings in a row. it wasn't really intentional just kinda happened. every now and then (not daily) she will ask and i will let her but it is for a few seconds and then she is done. worked out well bc i sad about purposefully weaning her since she is prob my last.
however, now she seems to want her pacifier more. she used to only use at night but will go upstairs and get them out of her bed. im not sure how to handle that bc id rather get rid of those sooner than later! guess that's for another post though!
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Hugs Heather, at least this way it was tearless.
I think I need to wean. My breasts were just the subjects of a dipping song, eenie meanie minie mo!
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and always great if MIL gets her up and you get a bit of a lie in!!
Gotta love when they sing songs about your boobies!
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katy - yes!! sleeping in was great! my DS is still obsessed.
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I've got a 5:30/6am feed going on... but he goes back to sleep for another 45-60 mins after that feed, so it's a tough one to fight! I'd love to push it to an actual wake up feed when he's up for the morning, but not sure I'm ready to tackle that yet as I just finished weaning him from all other night feeds (he was feeding every 2-3 hours some nights!) So now we're at just a morning and evening feed. He's my last baby and it's going to be hard for me to wean him!
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No hurry yet. :-)
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yeah- no hurry yet!! That's a tricky one that morning feed!
i was in a discussion on monday with DH and my mother where they BOTH said that still feeding hamish in the morning was odd! ::) Can't be bothered getting rid of it just yet though... I sort of consider that it's a trade off- I work 4 days- which i probably always considered was a large amount with a baby/child- so I still BF him! Oh well- hippy hippy me!
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Well, you know, since he's nursing at 2, he'll clearly still be nursing when he's ready to go to college, so you must be a crazy hippy....
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Some of you may know from the weaning thread that I have weaned Colby. We made it to 26m1wo. I offered him the choice of an extra book with daddy instead of the boob and he eventually took it a few days in a row. We had been feeding before nap most days and at BT every day. Today is 5 days since his last BF. He did ask if there was milk there when I said it was nap time but wasn't too bothered when I said no it has all been drunk and my body won't be making any more because he is a big boy now. He was a little teary but easily distracted with cows milk in a cup. I think one of the good things about weaning at this late stage when down to one or two feeds is I haven't had to pump or suffered with engorgement at all. They did get a bit full but then went soft again without me having to do anything to remove the milk. I guess it was just reabsorbed,
I will still be around this thread for support of others and I hope to be blessed with another baby at some point in the future.
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Me too. All done at 23 months and 3 weeks. Much the same experience with engorgement as Ali too. However for me I'm pretty sure there won't be any more babies... so that's me closing up this milk bar for good.
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Hugs to you both and well done. xo
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Congrats to you both!
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LOL anna.
we weaned at 19 months but DD has asked a couple of times. One time I let her nurse and she was on for like 1 second. The next time I told her the milk was all gone. she is more whiney now that we have stopped though and also wants her paci more. so i'm letting her now the paci is for sleeping only and it seems to be going ok.
i also did not have any problems with engorgement after weaning. i don't remember with DS either but we were just nursing once a day I think and he was 13 months.
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Great work all! I'm now thinking 3 might be our magic cut off... ::) I'm quite happy to keep going for a little longer- i'm trying the 'don't offer, don't refuse' thing in the morning... continues to be a fail!!
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LOL, Katy! I was just thinking that today :P DODR is a total bust here, he seems to think I've forgotten or something and ends up asking more often than if I just stick to WU and BT. He seems to need the predictability.
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Hi folks, about time I joined in this thread! My LO2 is now 17 nearly 18 months and she's just learned to say 'nilk'!
We're feeding in the morning and at bedtime, with an optional (her choice of course) afternoon feed around 4.30/5. She's a pretty determined little person so when she decides she wants it, she goes for it, throwing herself sideways in my arms and saying her new word...
I really wanted to ask about extended feeding and night feeds. Me and DP are both a bit paranoid about midnight milk mugging. She will go back down for me without a feed, but not always, and she has got into a bit of a waking habit, which I think is mostly to do with teeth. What are your experiences?
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Mine both had an early morning feed 4-5am ish) until 12.5mo and 15 and I actively weaned it by just resettling without feeding. I explained in advance there would be no more milk at night because mummy's boobs were sleeping. It took less than a week and they stopped waking or if they did wake they didn't ask for milk. I was still feeding in the day at least 3 times.
Actually when Colby was around 22mo (I think) he had a chest infection and I fed him at 5am when he woke hoarse and crying thinking it was morning. He fell back to sleep as he was so ill. It only happened that once and he never mentioned it again.
I see it just like any food or drink really. He can eat it in the day but after BT we only have water.
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yeah- we had to stop the night feeds- he managed to pick them up a couple of times, often after an illness- but always one feed would turn into 2, and then hw wouldn't settle after- so we had to dra the line. As ali said- he didn't need it at all- i would offer water in a cup in case he was thirsty, but that was it.
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DS is almost 14 months. We are still nursing at least 3 times/day. I never imagined I'd still be feeding him at this age, but he loves it and I like most of it :) The part I don't like is that it's been a prop. I feed him before BT, and then if he absolutely won't settle at night, I feed him and he will go back to sleep (not during the feeding though). Then he's habitually waking up around 5/5:30, so that's become his morning feed, and if he hasn't had a night feeding prior to that, he will take another feeding (the other side) around 6am. He habitually wakes up at this time as well, but if he's had two night feedings already, he won't take another, and I'll just lay him down in his crib and give him his paci and he sleeps for another 45 mins.
I don't want to be nursing him for forever, but it is SUPER handy to calm him down during NWings. Anyone else been here? Optimally I'd like to bring him to just a BT feed and a morning wake up feed, but this boy knows what he wants and I'm just worried that this 5am feeding will continue until I stop nursing. But I don't want that to be my reason to stop nursing!
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We weaned the last NF with my two at 12.5mo and 15mo respectively. I just told them all they would be getting at night from now on is water as mummy's boobies were sleeping. Then we just resettled without feeding for several nights until they stopped waking and asking for it. We were still doing 3 or 4 bfs a day then and I feed them both until 26mo so it certainly wasn't the end for our nursing relationship. Might something similar work for you?
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I want the freedom to be able to leave O with my mom during the day, so I'm trying to only feed him morning and night. I have been nursing him after his pm nap on occasion if it's a short nap, as that seems to help him calm and go back to sleep. My son doesn't say many words, and I'm not sure he would understand if I told him he wasn't getting any more of my milk after bed time. How did you resettle without feeding? I've done this countless times, but then he seems to start teething (I'm assuming he's teething right now) and then wake ups increase and I give in again...
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We did morning and night for ages- it worked really well. We would resettle by using the 'DO ANYTHING BUT FEED' approach- so DH or I would rock him, hold him, pat him- everything- the only thing we couldn't do was feed him! Basically the BF at night is the hardest thing to break- and they don't really bother waking up if they aren't getting it. He really shouldn't need it after 1- but just make sure you are ready to drop it and do the hard yards- you don't want to go through all of the tears and such only to start it up again! I mean that in a very non-judgemental way too- in that i'm a really massive fan of 'if it's not a problem for you then it's not a probem'- so if it's more of an issue for you to ditch the night feeds than to keep them, then keep them! The time wil come when you decide that it's time to make a change- or your LO will ease out of the feeds himself!
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We didn't quit the night feeds until he was 2 years old. Or, actually, like a week before. And it was me, one night when he nursed I just suddenly had a very strong feeling of "I can't and won't do this anymore!", so strong that I hardly got through that feed. And I knew that was the last time, no way I was ever doing it again.
It really surprised me how sudden and strong it was. But I was just done. And the next day I told him that there would be no more night time nursing, when he got his bed time one, that was it until morning. He was free to nurse as much as he wanted during the day and such, but no more nights.
He seemed perfectly ok with that. And I reminded him again at the bed time feeding.
He woke up that night of course, but I just picked him up and held him close, rocked him, walked around, cuddled and so on. He was upset for a while, but went back to sleep after a couple of hours. (He didn't cry that whole time, but he wasn't happy either.)
And that was really the only hard night. I think he just understood that I meant it. But he was 2, so, easier to talk to.
He did have a few more nights when he woke up and asked to nurse, but when I told him it was night time and he had to sleep, he went back to sleep again without a fuss.
I think we're down to only bed time feeding now. My little guy will be 3 years old at the start of february. I'm so unsure if I want to stop then or not. Some (most) nights I love the nursing time, but other times something is up with his latch and it's uncomfortable (even a little painful) and I can't get it right, and then I think I'm very done when he's 3. And when he's done I have teeth marks so that's probably why it wasn't good, but I dunno how to fix it.
Has anyone else experienced that? Even if I unlatch him and get him to latch again, it doesn't get better. And I don't know why it's just sometimes, and not others.
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How did you resettle without feeding?
I just stayed with her until she settled, but didn't feed her. It only took a couple of nights.
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My DH resettled my DS1 just doing Put Down and WIWO. He would settle him in between with a shush and a back rub. I settled DS2 just sitting by the cot and whispering our sleepy phase. I put him down or just patted the mattress when he stood up. I may have rubbed his back for a bit too. They were independent sleepers for naps and BT which really helped.
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I sometimes, lately more often, think it's uncomfortable or even a little painful to feed my almost 3 year old at bed time. And I see I have pretty clear teeth marks on my boob after. Anybody else experienced this? I don't know how to fix it! Or even if I can. Unlatching and latching again doesn't work, trying to fix his latch doesn't work. A few times it helps a tad if I support the boob as he's eating.
Is he loosing his latch?
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I was finding that by 2 yo with ds1 as he had all teeth by then. I weaned shortly after so not sure what you can do. I found each time he got a new tooth it took a few days to adjust the latch. Has he recently got his molars?
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Nope, it's been a while now. However, he is getting a new one right now, it hasn't poked through yet though, and isn't bothering him. I can't feel it, just see it.
Maybe I'll see if it changes again when it pokes through. I'm afraid I can't keep going if this is gonna happen a lot, every now and then is ok though.
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I show L the marks and he knows it hurts me, so when I say its hurting, he stops and will feed from the other side/stop altogether and always remembers to ask after the welfare of my breast(s) the next morning :P
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Becj86, that is sweet!
It's been ok here for the last few nights, but I'm gonna show him the marks next time, I don't know why that never hit me.
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Having great success now with telling LO2 that 'milk is gone to sleep' (or nilk as she says). I think I need to thank Ali for that! Thanks!
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Glad to hear that :)
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Had to share more adventures in feeding a toddler- Yesterday hamish was wondering about the house while we were in bed (small house- i was listening...) next thing i hear a rustling from the loungeroom. 'WHat are you doing hamish?' 'Hamish eating chip!' he was eating the chips/crisps i'd left on the table the niht before. He then comes into our bed with another chip (what i like to call the 'breakfast of champions') and sits there eating it- he THEN decides that some MILK would be the perfect accompaniment!! So i decided there and then a new rule: 'No milk from mummy while you are eating chips"- I don't see this as unreasonable- and neither did he!!!
I must say on reflection denying my child the goodness of breastmilk as he was eating a chip was sort of amusing...
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Lol
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LOL!
I have suddenly got really sore nipples - like the stabbing pains of feeding in the really early days :( L is not happy about it, but he's gone this morning without his feed. We'll see what happens tonight. I told him they're very sore and I need to take them to the doctor...
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I'm wondering if it could be thrush? I've not had it but i thought that had that sort of pain... I'm sure you could get thrush at any time in the nursing journey. It would be a PITA though as i think you need to treat yourself AND your LO's mouth... no expert though...
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Maybe :-\ Ugh. I think that would just be the end. One side is getting better... I might as well make an appt with the doc, and canx if I don't need it - takes a good couple of days to get an appt. ::)
Thanks for the suggestion - hadn't thought of that.
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it would be the end for me that's for sure.. but again- no expert...
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I posted this on the main board, but thought I'd include it here as well as I'm really hoping to get opinions ASAP:
My son will be 15 months tomorrow. He currently gets a bf before bed and wakes up once at night for one, between 3 and 5am. He used to have a lot more NFings but we're now down to just one. I'm going away next week for two days, and have decided that I'm going to stop nursing. My mom will be looking after him. I am just looking for suggestions in terms of how to transition. The bed time feeding likely won't be hard to cut out, but the feeding between 3 and 5am is probably going to be a struggle. I do have extra breast milk in the freezer, but even if my mom gives this to him in a sippy (he won't take a bottle), I doubt he'll want it. He just likes nursing.
So I guess what I'm looking for is a plan. The night before I go away, should I cut out the bed time feed? Or two nights before? And then increase his cow's milk that day? (He's currently drinking between 6-9 oz a day). It can be a chore to get him to drink cow's milk...
He is a big boy, and he eats like all day long. I'm a tiny bit worried of how he's going to make up for all the lost calories from his two nursing sessions. But I do want to stop nursing, and think the best time is when I'm gone and won't be tempted to feed him. Then just allow my milk to dry up. Suggestions welcome!!!
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I would probably just wait until you go. When you wean he will likely need more comfort and hugs from you so going away the next day or a couple days later will probably be harder on him. If you aren't there he will likely just not ask as he knows he can only ask you and so your mum can resettle him with a hug or back rub for example. Then when you come home you can say the milk is gone and you will be there to comfort him in a different way through the upset.
I went away for 2 nights when my DS2 was 13mo and he was still having a NF around 5am and then back to sleep for an hour or two. My husband just resettled him fine without me there even though I tended to do all the NWs before that even if I wasn't feeding. I weaned him off the NFs a couple months later but continued with the day feeds.
Your LO will make up for the lost milk in the day eventually. It might take a week or more but it will happen.
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Hi!
My nearly 16 m DS has recently started biting my nipples! The last 4 days he just bit me when he finished with one breast, and then fed from the other and bit me again. I always say "no", take him away from the breast for a while, still sitting on my lap I say "no biting, that hurts". Then, I let him feed again saying "but no biting". However, he has continued biting me after finishing each breast..
Tonigh was crisis: I put him to one breast and he immediately bit me very hard. I took him away, said no, etc. I tried the other breast and he bit me again. After trying 4 times, with 4 bites, I gave up. I thought he might not be hungry but I tried to give him solids instead and he eat a lot...
Do you think he might be wanting to quit BF?? I don't know another way of teaching him not to bite..
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That's the method i always used. How many times a day are you currently feeding? My guy would turn on that sort of antics when it ws time to drop a feed or something similar. You could also try moving the feed if there's only one? Perhaps he wants to get out and get busy rather than sit there at that time?
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I currently give him 2 or 3 BF per day. One at 7 am, another at 4 and another at 9, at bed time. He is boring me in every one if them... :-[
I am definitely going to drop the 4pm breastfeed!!
I am thinking if trying tomorrow just the 7am and 9pm BF and see...
But I think the biting has already become a habit :-\
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Previos error: I me ant he os biting me every one of them, not boring
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LOL!! I was thinking you had pretty high expectations if you were not wanting to be bored!! I would definitely drop that afternoon feed and see how you go.
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LOL!!!
I'll drop that feed for sure. Although this morning at 9 he bit me as well after feeding for a few minutes...
By the way, happy new year!!!!!
And thanks a lot for your help, especially these busy days..
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Has he new teeth coming in? Sometimes biting happens because of a new tooth. He might feel a bit sore, or just very different. If it is teeth, it should stop in a day or two. Ouch though!
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Uh oh...
Just tried to feed him the bedtime BF... When I offered my breast he shook his head away. We spent quite a while DS crying and me trying to figure out whether he wasn't hungry, just didn't want my breast... I was desperate so I offered a bottle, and he happily drunk all of it!!
Do you think this the beginning of the end??? ???
He is teething.. But it's been 6 days of biting now...
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hmm- weird! It could be.. is he teething? it could be a bit of a phase with that? by all means if you are thinking you'd be happy to wean then go right ahead- you've managed to breast feed for a HUGE amount of time! what a great start you've given your little guy!!
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I was in a bit of a dilemma because on the one hand I would like to Bf longer, but on the other hand I would like to recover my fertility so that I can try to get pregnant in a few months...
So if I was sure that DS really wants to wean I wouldn't mind it that much...
But I hate to think it might be another issue that I am not handling right...
Thanks a lot for your support!!
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It could be the teeth, L always felt like he was biting when he was teething... Through the whole feed too. You have given him a great start! When L was teething, he would want to feed more often, but some kids do find it hurts with the sucking while they're teething. Hope you find your way. Maybe go with don't offer don't refuse - what do you think of that? He may well ask when he realises it's not being offered any more and you may find you stumble onto a new normal for feeding times for the two of you or you may find he is truly finished.
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hmm- i'm thinking i might have to stop the breast feeding. My family and friends have now started out right saying they think it's weird and strange!! I'm actuallyhaving to lie and try to hide the feeds from my DH!! (hard to do). Hamish actually said to one of my friends as she was holding him 'is there any milk in there' as he pressed the top of her boobs ::) then later on when she told me that story her and my other friend laughed about it and said 'wow- how does he even remember that!' so i ended up 'coming out' as an extended breastfeeder!! They were HORRIFIED!! (our friend group laughs a lot and rips each other off- so it wasn't all serious and such)... so not totally sure about how to go about it as i currently use the DODR approach... fail...
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Katy. I don't think you should let the ignorance of others force you to stop bfing. It is such a shame that so many people in our society have such a narrow minded view of when a baby should stop BFing. Hugs.
Do you really want to stop? If so can your dh distract him and do bt and get him up in the morning?
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I explained it (when asked outright) as 'the path of least resistance'. Other than that, I just got on with it as it's what my child needed IMO. My DH was trying to get me to wean L forcefully for over 1.5yrs before we stopped and we eventually stopped when I had that pain. L would ask if my boobs were feeling ok and I'd say he could try but I'd tell him if they were sore. He eventually started 'kissing them better' before latching and then progressed to hugging them. It's been a much easier wean than I even thought it would be and it was at least partly out of concern for my pain that he stopped.
You're doing a good thing for him, Katy. If you want to stop, sure, get DH to do BT... If not, carry on as normal and just ignore them.
I had someone ask the other day if I was still BFing L as if it were the most normal thing in the world when she knew he is 2.5 and I said he'd weaned recently. First person I'd found IRL who was accepting.
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I'm in a similar situation. Nobody SAYS it's weird but I know in the past I've been one of those moms who said anything over 1 year isn't right. Yeah, whoops! Anyways, here I am 15.5 months in. DS is feeding before bed time and then one night feeding. I want to stop just because I hate the night feeding. It's anywhere from 2am to 5am. Right now he's cutting molars so it varies. But he will fight so hard for that morning feed. I've told DH that he needs to be the one resettling DS in order for me to stop. We'll see how soon that happens!!
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Momma bear you can always stop the night feeds and keep the BT feed if you wnt to. I weaned my two off the NF at 12 and 15mo and kept the day feeds.
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Thanks ladies- it's just the morning feed that we do.. and what do you know- this morning he didn't ask for it!! just layed with me and had a lovely long snuggle and then watched some shows on the computer!! (it's the holidays-- DH and i try to extend the lie in as long as we can!!). I guess with if i WANT to wean it's funny- i personally don't really care either way! If he stopped then that's all good- if he doesn't at this point then also all good! If i cared about it i would have stopped by now! I'll see how we go- i think once we are back at work (next week) it will be easier as i can just get up and have a shower- when i want a lie in it's hard!!
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If I want to wean my little one when he turns 3, how would you do it? Prepare time? Cut down, or cold turkey? He only nurses at bedtime now. And just for 10 min. (I stop him then.)
What would you say?
I'm not decided yet, but I might want to.
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Would he understand if you told him your body won't be making more milk after his birthday?
Or can you offer him an alternative like an extra story or hot chocolate?
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yeah- i thought that after 3 I could just explain. I was thinking though about trying to wean BEFORE his birthday- or even after- the thought of 'happy birthday- now NO MORE FEEDS' seemed a bit rude
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Haha, yeah, I was not thinking on his birthday. It's early feb. so probably after. Well I think he would understand, accept however? Whole different story, hah. I am thinking about quitting because it often hurts now. And honestly, even though he loves it, I feel kinda ready to be done. I know I'll probably feel a little sad in a way because that part of our relationship ends, it's been there since he was born. But I think I'll be more ok with it!
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See- i'm beginning to think that i am going to have to make the decision on it- as he's clearly not going to! I think i'll probably be partially a bit 'oh my baby' but at the same time i'm lucky in that he's a snuggly little boy anyway- so i'll still get my cuddles...
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I told L it hurt and he weaned shortly after that of his own accord, Solene.
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Just read this lovely article. :)
http://www.nbci.ca/index.php?option=com_content&view=article&id=78:breastfeed-a-toddlerwhy-on-earth&catid=5:information&Itemid=17
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http://www.bestdaily.co.uk/your-life/news/a620260/breastfeeding-at-six-whats-so-weird-about-that.html
Now that's extended!
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Yikes. I read about her a while ago and there was another story about a 12yo still bf in a cinema queue. I find it hard to picture. Kids are having kids at that age these days. I was pretty keen to stop at 2yo with both of mine.
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Hi ladies. I'm looking for some advice regarding extended nursing. I hope it is fine to ask directly here. If not, please let me know and I will post on the board.
So far, I have hoped to nurse E for another few years. I hope to still accomplish this and that is why I needed an opinion. Right now she is nursing 3-4 times a day and I am pumping twice. I have to rock/bounce/walk for her to nurse. I am considering nursing at bedtime & then offering a bottle of expressed milk. I have done this the past 3 days and she has taken 6oz extra. Very unusual. Do you think that by doing this I am setting myself up for failure in the long run? I am seriously considering stopping the BT nursies after she completes a year because it seems to affect her self settling if she is not absolutely satisfied. Just looking for a IYE point of view, please.
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Do you think that by doing this I am setting myself up for failure in the long run?
Why do you think that lovey? The thing is that bottles are really easy to drink, so generally they will guzzle them down reasonably happily. Perhaps not read too much into that?
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Agreed, Annie. The first two times I offered was because of 1 nap days and she was so tired by then. But normally, after nursing well, she would just refuse or take 1 or 2 oz. Today I pumped after putting her in bed and got 1 oz total from both sides, which means she did eat.
What I meant by that statement was, if I offer a bottle but only after nursing her myself, could it have a disastrous effect on my supply? Has anyone here nursed well beyond a year while offering a bottle too?
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If you are expressing the milk to give her then you are still sending the message to your body to make milk so it shouldn't adversely affect your supply.
Is distraction the reason why she needs cajoling to nurse? Have you tried feeding in the still dark nursery when she has just woken?
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She does get distracted, which is why we nurse only in her room with lights off. And I feed when she wakes in the morning and afternoon but no difference. She's not a very sleepy baby. I think it might simply be age related. So much development, so much to do and see that nursing seems to be low priority. I need a plan to stop it though. She is too heavy. I think I'll post on the main board about it. Maybe someone has experienced this.
Thanks ladies. I'm going to try to hold off on the nightly bottle. Maybe A bit worried that something is wrong with me at the moment leading to the dip in supply
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I just realised I've made it to being an extended breastfeeder for the third time :) DD just turned 1yo last month and is still going strong. She usually has 3-4 BFs in the day and usually one at night too. Sometimes the NF is 5.30-6am (and replaces the morning feed) and sometimes it is earlier. I still love BFing and we have some lovely cuddly times. I love settling down for the BT feed :)
Anyone else currently BFing a toddler?
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Congratulations, Ali!
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That's brilliant Ali! I'm green with envy :)
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Still bfing Dd2 (at wu in the morning and at BT). She'll be 2 in January. Never really intended to BF for this long (stopped bfing dd1 at 18 mos) but dd2 always asks for it and I haven't really had a reason to stop. Dd1 never asked for it and didn't bat an eyelid when I stopped offering at 18 mos.
Currently thinking to continue bfing for rest of winter (the cough and cold season) and think about stopping in the spring. She's currently cutting the first of her 2nd yr molars and is in a v SA/clingy/mummy phase so prob not best time for stopping now anyway.
I enjoy bfing but think I'm ready to stop fairly soon.
What do your boys get up to while you're doing the BT BF Ali? Dd1 watches CBeebies stuff downloaded on the iPad... :-\ not ideal right before her bt...
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They are usually in bed. We put them down at 7 and then I go into my room to feed DD. Luckily, more often than not, DH will have just got in from work and he makes sure they settle if they mess around or whatever. If I'm home alone I usually talk to them through the monitor but they are pretty good at going to sleep after a quick chat between themselves. They share a room so have company.
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Thought I would jump on here! It's my first time "extended" nursing (my DS1 and I only managed 2.5 weeks, so this is magic!) and we are still going... reasonably... strong!
We have "milkies" about twice a day - first thing in the morning and usually late afternoon (DS2 will only let my husband put him to bed...). Is that about right? I'm worried that maybe he isn't getting enough? I think my production has dropped a bit...
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At that age we generally had three feeds. You can always offer if you're concerned about supply but bear in mind your breasts have really got the hang of it by now so you may not 'feel full' ever!
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Ds1 was on 2 feeds around 13mo. DS2 and DD were/are on more but I expect to reduce soonish. 2 feeds is really beneficial. I expect your LO is on a good amount of solids and getting nutrition from them.
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Hiya, just saw this and thought I'd tag along :)
Do any of you bother pumping for when you won't be there at the usual feed time(s)? Until about a month ago, I was pumping for a mid-morning feed at the CM for the three days a week when I work. Then it just got to the point where I wasn't able to keep up any more, I guess I just stopped letting down for the pump. So I tried DD on cow's milk, having suspected she might have issues with it, and indeed she did, but now it seems that a2 milk is ok so she just has that at the CM now.
That mid-morning bf is going with the morning nap now anyway, so pretty much just down to the two feeds. But I still miss at least one BT per week and pump for that, getting 1oz per pumping session unless it's after the late day at work, in which case I might get 2oz. I think DH gives her 4-5oz, which she seems to be happy with. I guess I feel that on the one hand, she's still getting used to the a2 milk so I don't want to introduce it at BT just yet, and on the other, I think it was when I stopped pumping for missed BT feeds with DS, that my supply dropped so low that he no longer saw the point in feeding, which I felt a bit sad about, but we still achieved my 'goal'/hope of 2 years :) Anyway, to get to the point - am I being really silly doing all this pumping, should I just stop all that and give her a2 when I'm not there and not worry about missed feeds and my supply? I am beginning to feel a bit silly now :P
Oh and does anyone else offer cow's milk as well as the bfs, or is that overkill?? Never an issue with DS as he never liked the stuff anyway :P
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I had been pumping when I missed a feed and gave a bottle but the last 3 times over the last month I haven't bothered. I've just been depleting my freezer stash which currently stands at about 20ozs I think. When that's gone I've decided I will just offer cows milk. The main reason is normally she has a bottle if I go out for the evening and the last thing I feel like doing after arriving home late from a night out is pumping before I go to sleep. She has never had a bottle of cows milk but will drink it from a sippy or straw if she gets hold of the boys' cups at all so I know she likes the taste. She has cows milk on cereal too. I'm not going to deliberately offer cows milk in addition to breast milk on a regular basis as I think she gets better nutrition from breast milk and solids. Sometimes if I leave her in the day while she is awake I just get my mum to offer a yogurt. I often only suggest a bottle if I need her to go down for a nap for my mum as she will usually fall asleep on the bottle which makes life easier for everyone.
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does anyone else offer cow's milk as well as the bfs, or is that overkill??
DD2 is offered cows milk in a cup to drink with her breakfast and occasionally her dinner/supper.
She never really has much at breakfast though TBH. I want to remember to start offering her more often in the evening though, in case this helps her to take less BF at BT. (As she's approaching 2 now, I'm thinking of weaning).
Having said that, I've just changed our weekday BT routine a bit, now DH is back at work.
I used to BF DD2 on her own and then do her stories (2) and pop her down for the night. But recently she's been enjoying much more interesting/longer/wordy picture books, which DD1 still enjoys too, so I've been reading them a book together while I BF DD2 (a bit of a struggle at times as legs/arms get in the way, but overall, it's going well). This has 2 advantages: DD2 stops BFing as soon as she's had enough, so she can see the book properly! (before, she was not so happy when I ended the feed, even when I could tell she now no longer really feeding) and secondly, DD1 has less time on the iPad :P
I'm thinking though that maybe in a couple of weeks I might ask DD2 if she'd prefer a cup of milk rather than a BF at BT, as she'll be able to see the book better! So if I'm going to do that, then I might not start offering milk at dinner just yet. (Although in the long term this is what I'd aim for, I just think that switching BF to cup of milk at BT might be a good intermediary step, rather than just going to no milk at BT at all...)
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We have "milkies" about twice a day - first thing in the morning and usually late afternoon (DS2 will only let my husband put him to bed...). Is that about right? I'm worried that maybe he isn't getting enough? I think my production has dropped a bit...
my DDs both had two milk feeds/day at that age
with DD1 it was a morning BF at WU, and cows milk at BT (or just before), so only one BF. This arrangement lasted about 7 mos and although I def felt far less full, I think I was still making plenty of milk.
with DD2 it was a morning BF at WU, and a BT BF
I wouldn't have thought you'd have supply problems. Does your LO show any signs that there's not enough? I.e. frustration/wanting more?
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I honestly wouldn't worry about supply at this age. Research has shown (check out Kellymom if you are interested in reading about it) that the longer a woman has been feeding the fattier her milk is. So your toddler is getting more calories per ounce than s/he used to. Plus milk is made on demand as LO drinks rather than in advance and stored until feed time like it was in the early weeks and months.
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Plus milk is made on demand as LO drinks rather than in advance and stored until feed time like it was in the early weeks and months.
I never knew that! Really interesting :D
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Sounds like a great plan, Cath :) I never had to worry about weaning DS as he just got less interested until one BT he just said "no mummy milk", and continued to refuse for about a week so I just stopped offering, he asked for "daddy milk" - ie cow's milk in a cup, but when he had it he didn't really want that either, so that was the end of his milk intake!
Thanks for your input, both of you - I guess I'll just keep doing what I'm doing for the time being, I'm still able to pump enough for the odd BT feed so will continue for nutritional value until I either get completely fed up with it or become unable to pump enough, as happened for the mid-morning one. I think I'll just keep the mid-morning cow's milk since presumably that will continue through her childhood, unlike the bf :P She loves her solids and eats more than DS so I don't think there's a danger of her having too much milk, is there??
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Nope, no danger of too much milk if she is eating a decent amount of solids.
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Hey there, how are you all doing? Ok so I see most of you on the starting school thread anyway ;)
Perhaps this should be on health/medical instead, but since I wondered if it might be an extended bf thing, I thought I'd ask here first - sorry if it's TMI, but there you go, I've warned you now :P
So, I've been on Cerazette since our postnatal check, having used micronor before - the combined pill gives me horrendous migraines! Started menstruating again when dd was around 11mo, and still not settled back into a regular pattern - could this be partly due to still bf-ing (just twice a day now, although she sometimes refuses when teething or has a daytime feed when sick)? I'm pretty sure my cycle settled down quite quickly when on micronor in between pg, and I bf'd DS until 2yo so no difference there really. It's just pretty annoying as (sorry if tmi) I bleed a little most days, sometimes every day of the month, nothing really heavy like proper AF, though tbh I'd prefer that if it then went away again leaving the rest of the month free! The advantage is that I haven't had a migraine in ages - when gradually reducing bf whilst on micronor, I got fairly nasty ones.
So I'm not asking for medical advice here, I've already seen the GP and got myself thoroughly checked out :P and all appears fine :) Just wondered if anyone else has experienced this? Did it all sort itself out in the end, perhaps on weaning bf? The GP seemed a bit puzzled but was quite young and perhaps hadn't come across many extended bf-ers? Thanks - and Ali please just move this if in the wrong place ;)
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That is a pain, trimbler. I can't say I had that, and I haven't gone back on the pill post LO2 (snip snip), but definitely had wonky hormones during the latter part of BF her (to 3.5) and afterwards took a good while to settle down. I started to take Evening Primrose Oil and that helped. Maybe something like that would be worth trying? Gentle enough anyway.
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Thanks Anne, that's interesting - so you definitely think your 'wonky hormones' were related to bf? I have to say I'm completely ignorant about evening primrose or anything like that - what's it supposed to do?
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I took EPO when younger to help period pains. Can't remember if it worked or not now!
I don't get regular periods at all on micronor. In fact, I only get a little spotting if I miss a pill. Otherwise I don't bleed for months. It was the same when feeding my other two. I got regular periods back immediately I stopped taking the POP to TTC though. Is there an alternative you could try if this symptom is too inconvenient? I used to get a really bad headache and nausea on CD1 when not on the POP or pg or BF but that doesn't happen when I don't get AF. It's lovely!
We're still feeding 4 times a day. She stopped having a NF for about 3wks just because she stopped waking but the last week she has been teething and has started waking for a BF again. I'm just going with it for now. She's 14.5mo.
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Thanks Ali, that's interesting. Perhaps I need something stronger! I just had regular periods on micronor, not quite as heavy as when not on a pill but heavy enough :P Much less on the Cerazette but daily instead :( ::) I just feel sure that if I ask to switch back to micronor then I'll trade in the daily light bleeding for those nasty migraines :-\ which would you choose? :P Oh well, I ran out yesterday anyway, couldn't make an appointment until then and then had to cancel as LOs unwell and DS couldn't even get out of the house. Blah!
DD makes me smile by announcing 'all gone' whenever she finishes a breast nowadays ;D Especially cute since she's a late talker so still doesn't say very much clearly. She doesn't usually spend very long feeding at all now, but there will be the odd morning, and sometimes evening, when she'll linger for aaaages - Mother's Day for example, when I'd kind of hoped DH would let me go back to sleep for an hour or so, but DD spent almost an hour on there, snuggling and refusing to unlatch - I enjoyed those cuddles but it did get rather uncomfortable as I hadn't bothered to get into a good position first ;) still, can't really complain about Mother's Day cuddles ;D
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That sounds really similar to me Trimbler, it went on for two months before I decided to stop taking it as we're hoping to ttc soon and wanted to get my body back to normal. When I stopped I had a normal period (for me) but am now nearly a week overdue - so who knows what's going on! Not sure whether it's my body recovering from the pill or the fact I'm still breastfeeding?
On a related note - i was wondering whether extended nursing can affect being able to conceive? I know it isn't a fail safe method of contraception but can it still have an effect? I still BF at least 4xdaily - twice in the day and then whenever she wakes. I had been wanting to wean at night but my husband has been unwell for a few months so I haven't really had the energy for that battle! But I'm wondering whether I need to reduce the feeds before ttc?
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If you're ovulating (menstruating signals that's happening), BF really shouldn't make that much of a difference for TTC, I think - that's why its not a great contraceptive.
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Hmm you've stopped the pill in order to ttc... Pg already, perhaps? ;)
Well I just stopped keeping track of it all, had a welcome break recently but can't say how long it was, light bleeding again now... Still BF twice a day, although she never likes the left side when snotty or teething or the wind's blowing in the wrong direction... Starting to wonder when I'm planning to stop now :P I'm sure by this age, DS had dropped the morning one of his own accord and was getting patchy as to whether he wanted the BT one, whereas DD is usually still keen on both. DS finally told me "no Mummy milk" at 25mo and that was it, so that's not far now really for DD, but I think she'll continue longer, and I think I'm happy for that, no plans to deliberately wean her just yet, but perhaps i won't feel the same way in a year's time :P Who else is still here? Anyone have a weaning age in mind, or just wanting to continue until LO no longer wants it, whenever that may be? Still enjoying those snuggles ;)
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Who else is still here?
me :)
DD2 BFs at BT (after bath, before stories) and at WU
thinking of dropping the BT BF.. maybe this weekend..
But the benefits of the morning BF for me (a much more relaxed and less abrupt start to the day!) are meaning I'm reluctant to drop it for now.
She always asks for the morning BF and expects the evening one too. But I chatted to her about it the other day and she said she'd be happy with milk in a cup at BT.
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Agree with the more relaxed start to the day :) although I'd probably be more inclined to drop that one as it would mean one less thing to do in the morning before getting everyone out - currently I'm sleeping in the living room before working days so that I can get myself dressed and have breakfast before waking her at the last possible minute to BF etc :P
She will take milk in a cup though, I've stopped pumping completely now and she just gets a2 or almond milk in a cup from DH when I'm not around - I had to leave before everyone else got up and return home after BT one day recently, and I'm told she was fine with it. So I don't feel tied, happy to just continue as is until she no longer wants it, for the time being, anyway :)
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I'm still here too. DD is 16mo and we still have several feeds a day. Mostly WU, before and after nap and BT. I do an extra one some days if she asks and is grizzly. She's teething her 1yr molars and waking up several times a night right now. DH is away for work next week and I'm thinking of weaning the NFs while he's gone. I figure that way I don't have to worry about her disturbing him and me feeling pressured to get her back to sleep quickly.
We went camping last weekend and the breast came in very handy to quietly soothe her back to sleep when she woke in the tent.
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Wow that's very brave! I'm definitely not that adventurous!
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Trimbler - that's great you have the flexibility that she's fine with milk in a cup if you're not there.
Dd2 asked for milk in a cup at BT this eve :o so I haven't bf'd her!! Wasnt expecting it, and thought she'd change her mind and ask for a BF as well, but nope! I think I'll prob run with it now and no more bt bfs..
Still have the morning one though, which she asks for every morning.
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Haha she must have been reading along ;D When DS decided to stop he asked for "Daddy milk" instead - that's what we called cow's milk in a cup, which was always given by DH. But he didn't keep that up for long, he just never really liked cow's milk.
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Hmm you've stopped the pill in order to ttc... Pg already, perhaps? ;)
Haha, no it was just my body being weird!
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Haha she must have been reading along ;D
LOL yes it looks like it!
Yesterday I tried to change things around even more and do milk downstairs with stories before bath, explaining to DD2 that then there would be no milk upstairs after bath (just a last story in her bedroom before bed). She agreed with this plan, and enjoyed her milk and stories downstairs, but when it came to it after bath she wanted (more) milk. First she was asking to BF but then it turned out that she'd be happy with milk in a cup but was absolutely adamant that there had to be milk of some kind! So I gave her another cup of milk and she was fine. I think I tried to change too much too quickly for her. So I'm going to stick with a cup of milk upstairs after bath for a bit, before trying to bring it a bit earlier and downstairs.
Due to BFing at BT, I'd still been wearing nursing bras during the day but now I'm no longer BFing at BT, I think it's time to switch my bras! It's been so long I will have to try and dig them out from wherever they've been buried. Might even treat myself to a new one (or two!). Should probably get measured again first though. ;D
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Haha now there's a thought! Still in nursing bras here...forgot there was even an alternative ;D
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Anyone still here? DD2 is 2 and a half now, and still BFing in the mornings when she wakes up. She comes into my bed and it takes quite a while (20 mins or so?) and whilst we're in no rush on weekends and now, as it's the summer holidays, I think it could be tricky when DD1 goes back to school (plus DD2 has been waking about 30 mins later than usual a few times recently :) ). So, I'm thinking that the last week of the summer holidays I will try to stop the morning BF. I think I'll just tell DD2 that my milk has all gone. What do people think? Shall I offer her some milk in a cup instead? I think she might like that and would make the transition more gradual too. Although in the long run I don't really want her to be having milk first thing up stairs every morning (didn't do that with DD1).
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We're still here. DD is nearly 20mo and still BFs morning and BT plus before and/or after her nap if we're at home. If we're out and she sleeps in the buggy or I'm not around she doesn't ask. If she asks for an extra BF while we're home I normally give that too.
Is your DH around to take her straight downstairs for breakfast? That's what we did with DS1 and then I followed 10 minutes later. Or your plan sounds good. I see no harm in a few ounces of milk each morning.
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Well, I had a chat with dd2 on Friday and she was quite happy about the idea of having milk in a cup on Saturday morning. She was absolutely fine with it in the morning too and even remembered the plan and asked for it specially.
She was fine on Sunday too.
This morning and yesterday she asked for milk from me (not in a cup) but both times when I told her I'd run out of milk now, she was OK about it and happy enough to have it in a cup instead.
She's only having a small amount of milk from the cup so I'm thinking we'll phase that out quite quickly too, and she'll just have some with her breakfast.
Really pleased it's gone so well and without upset. Bit sad it's over though now. I doubt I'll ever BF again :(
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Hugs Cath. Are you feeling better about it now?
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Anyone still going?
DD was 2yo last month and we are still BFing. It's mainly WU and sleep times with occasional extras some days at home if we sit and snuggle. I'm not looking to actively wean her soon. I'll just see how we go.
I've recently joined a FB group for extended breastfeeding but everyone on there seems to be feeding on demand every 10 minutes day and night and it's completely frowned upon to not use the breast to comfort or feed to sleep at every opportunity. One lady said she is feeding 100 times a day and doesn't even get a break from LO's BT at 7 to her BT at 11.30 because she's up and down the stairs a dozen times to feed back to sleep. And everyone just said carry on as it's what LO needs. I struggle to see how anyone is getting restorative sleep but feel like they'd bite my head off if I suggested anything close to sleep training 🤐 And we're talking about kids mostly aged 3-6yo which I have no issue with BFing an older child but that really is tough for mum, huh? Sleepless nights for 6yrs!
Last week I also managed to meet up with a dozen local mums who are feeding 1-3yos and that was nice. I realised I have a very different BFing relationship to them all though. Again most were feding on and off all day and night. I don't think I'd have lasted so long if I had allowed that. I'm looking forward to meeting them again though.
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I don't handle disturbed sleep at all well and definitely couldn't cope with that!
It's such a shame that people have no idea that there are gentle methods of sleep training out there and seem to think it's kind of "all or nothing" iyswim. It's a shame as well if some people feel they have to give up BFing to get sleep. You can have a baby that sleeps independently yet still have all the benefits of BFing!
Just wondering, how do the mums that report that kind of disturbed sleep sound? Are they upset by it, struggling with it, or seem happy enough with it?
Have you shared how you BF? ie whilst still getting sleep! I wonder if they would even think such a way is possible...? POssibly there's others like you though who don't post as it seems against the norm of the group?
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I did do an intro post when I joined and explained how we fed and sleep etc. Noone really challenged it there. When I commented on another post about gentle sleep training I was told there is no such thing. Some of the mums who post sound desperate but those who reply are more martyr-like really. They say it's so, so hard but it's what their LOs needs so they just suck it up and enjoy the cuddles. I might post to ask if there are any other mums who just do a couple feeds a day. Wondering if it's not the group for me though.
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If anyone who's weaned a toddler would care to take a look at my weaning post on the weaning support thread that'd be great. TIA.
https://babywhispererforums.com/index.php?topic=248349.msg3164979#msg3164979
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Still going here... 2yrs old last month.. But it is getting harder and harder on both of us as he still doesn't eat, and my supply is super low. His PurAmino formula makes him react so it is not a 100% safe for him either, so I don't want to just drop BFing. My 5yr old was BF til 3.5ish. Micah might be going for at least 3, but I'm not sure we'll make it that far with all our issues.
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Hi and well done for making it to 2yrs. Sorry you're having a hard time.
I weaned my DD at 2.5yo back in June. I'm just feeding my 6wo now.