Author Topic: 6 month old awake (WIDE awake) at 4 am, every night!  (Read 22521 times)

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Offline MomofCharlie

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6 month old awake (WIDE awake) at 4 am, every night!
« on: October 02, 2007, 19:21:17 pm »
Hi,
I'm in a bit of a jam. My almost-6 month old DS wakes up every night around 4 am, and it takes more than an hour to get him back to sleep. He normally has a soaking wet diaper, so I have to change him. He's not crying, just awake. I've tried shh-pat, holding him til drowsy, etc, but nothing seems to work. The real jam I'm in is that, in order to get him back to sleep more quickly, like in 5 minutes, I've been bringing him into the spare bed with me til we wake around 7 (I know, I know! Bad, bad, bad.)

He's on a 4-hour EASY, is exclusively BF (about to start solids next week), but one of his naps is generally short (45 min), with the other one being 1.5 hours, then a 45-minute catnap around 5. I'm wondering if I should be moving him to only 2 naps a day and making A times longer than 2 hours? If so, what would this look like? It also often takes a really long time for me to get him to sleep for his nap, so maybe more A time is what he needs between sleeps??

Routine specifically looks like this:

E 7
A til 9
S til 11 (or if he wakes earlier, which he often does, quiet A)
E 11
A til 1
S til 3 (again, quiet A for early waking, which is again, often)
E 3
A til 5
S til 5:45
A (usually bath) til 6:30
E 6:30
bedtime 7
DF 11
then that darned 4 am waking.

Any suggestions? (aside, of course, from no longer bringing him to bed; I'm going to stop that a.s.a.p., if I can find the fortitude!).

Thanks in advance!
Allison

Offline momofclaire

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Re: 6 month old awake (WIDE awake) at 4 am, every night!
« Reply #1 on: October 03, 2007, 00:17:20 am »
If you did nothing what would happen?  If he isn't crying I would suggest leaving him until he does.  He might supprise you and put himself back to sleep. 

By about 7 months most babies drop that evening cat nap so it is possible that he might be ready.  Have you tried increasing his A time in the morning to see how he does?  If you decide to do this I would do it very slowly and compensate with an earlier bedtime to avoid overtiredness.

I would certainly stop taking him into the bed with you as that will quickly become something he likes and thus thinks he needs.
Myia
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Offline MomofCharlie

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Re: 6 month old awake (WIDE awake) at 4 am, every night!
« Reply #2 on: October 03, 2007, 02:17:20 am »
Hi, Myia,
If I do nothing, he starts to really fuss, and it eventually develops into a full cry. I'll see if increasing A time slowly makes a difference. I think maybe I"ll do a day or two of just strictly following his cues, to see what happens.

Re: bringing him to bed with me, I think he already likes it, and I have to confess, I like it, too, as he's so snuggly. Again, bad, bad, bad habit, I know.

How slowly do you suggest increasing morning A time? By 10 minutes/day or less or more? Why just morning A time, and not afternoon? How much should I be aiming for?

Thanks,
Allison

Offline acan

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Re: 6 month old awake (WIDE awake) at 4 am, every night!
« Reply #3 on: October 03, 2007, 02:23:59 am »
Have you tried pushing your baby's bedtime back a little?  My little one did not sleep for the full 11-12 hours until around 7 months.  I used to put her to bed around 8:30 and she would wake around 6AM-unfortunately she is an early riser!  She goes to bed now around 7 now.

Offline momofclaire

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Re: 6 month old awake (WIDE awake) at 4 am, every night!
« Reply #4 on: October 03, 2007, 02:28:11 am »
I would suggest adding 5-10 minutes at first to the morning and if that goes well do the same in the afternoon.  Watching his cues is a great thing to do. Often we get caught up in the routine/sch and miss things. Claire has taught me many a lesson when I decided to just watch her.   ::)
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Offline MomofCharlie

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Re: 6 month old awake (WIDE awake) at 4 am, every night!
« Reply #5 on: October 03, 2007, 13:15:52 pm »
Acan, Myia, Thanks for your replies. We had the worst night ever last night: he was up for 3.5 hours! My DH was asking whether we should put him to bed a bit later, or even give him an hour of A time before his dreamfeed (which wouldn't make it a true DF any more). I'm adding 15 minutes to his A time this morning. So far, so good. He's showing me he's tired, so he's doing a bit of wind-down in his crib right now.

I have to admit I was at my wit's end last night, by hour #2. He'd quiet down, and as soon as I leave the room, arms start flailing, then the crying would start. I did what Tracey says in her book, not hovering over, going in only when he needs me, not when he's just kind of complaining, but once you've done that for three hours, it gets to be ridiculous. Unfortunately, I gave up and brought him into the spare bed with me again  :'(

Hopefully we'll see a difference in the coming days. I just know that he'll settle into whatever change I make, as he's a textbook baby, but it sure is difficult to know what to change, when to change it, and how to make the change. It's great that we have so much info on these boards, but it can be daunting and confusing, too.

Please wish me luck and send me good vibes. I'm so tired that I feel as though I could just cry. HOpefully my DS will go down for his nap rather easily; if not, I might cry along with him, which would be a first.

Offline momofclaire

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Re: 6 month old awake (WIDE awake) at 4 am, every night!
« Reply #6 on: October 03, 2007, 17:07:24 pm »
HUGS AND SLEEPY VIBES~

I am so sorry last night was so bad.  I know how that feels and it really sucks!  Let me know how the day goes, ok?
Myia
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Re: 6 month old awake (WIDE awake) at 4 am, every night!
« Reply #7 on: October 04, 2007, 00:37:43 am »
Well, today was ok. Our LO sprouted his first tooth just this past Monday, then his second this afternoon, so we've had lots of crying and fussiness. He had three naps today: first one was an hour, second one was an hour, third one was 45 minutes. He went to bed at 8 instead of 7 (mostly due to teething pain), so we'll see how tonight goes. Will post in the morning again. Thanks!!

Offline momofclaire

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Re: 6 month old awake (WIDE awake) at 4 am, every night!
« Reply #8 on: October 04, 2007, 00:52:15 am »
You know I have said it a million times, I hate teeth! 
Are you using the gel?  It doesn't work for crap really but it does take the edge off just slightly so that the pain meds can kick in and work.  Poor guy.  I have read that teething is as painful as labor with no drugs!  :o :o  I hope tonight goes smoothly.
Myia
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Re: 6 month old awake (WIDE awake) at 4 am, every night!
« Reply #9 on: October 04, 2007, 13:24:05 pm »
Hi, Myia,
Yes, we're using the gel in combo with pain meds. Second tooth is all the way out now... but... he was awake at 1:10 this morning, and again, after an hour of trying to get him back to sleep, I gave up and brought him to bed. Then he was wide awake at 5:30, so I just let him roll around and play with his hands & paci til 7. It's really hard to have him crying on and off at night for very long, as my DH is working full time and doing his PhD, so I feel really badly for him when we have bad nights like this. Can you (or anyone else reading this) suggest ways to try and get my DS back to sleep? I generally do sh-pat til he stops fussing, but then he starts back up again, sometimes as soon as I walk away, other times after a few minutes. I sometimes just sit in the rocking chair in his room waiting, because I know it'll start up again. I'm trying to extend A time, but our naps are so irregular that A time can really vary when I factor in wind-downs that sometimes can take 45 minutes. Our routine seems so regular some days, but entirely messed up others. ANd not just since the teething. I feel as though I'm always having to struggle and tweak things. Is this normal? OTher than the NWs, should I just accept that this is the way things will be? They're not terrible, but far from regular.

Offline momofclaire

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Re: 6 month old awake (WIDE awake) at 4 am, every night!
« Reply #10 on: October 04, 2007, 21:37:29 pm »
It is normal to be tweaking a lot during the first year. There are so many, rapid fire, chages that it often does seem hard to keep up.  To be honest, I think the naps, and regulating them should be the first thing you do. It is amazing how strongly related day sleep is to night sleep.  Are the naps irregular because he just will not settle or does he wake up often during them?
You can try pu/pd for night wakings that aren't due to hunger or pain.  Are you familiar with that?
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Offline Amandamom

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Re: 6 month old awake (WIDE awake) at 4 am, every night!
« Reply #11 on: October 04, 2007, 21:43:32 pm »
I just want to say that I am going through this exact same thing with my 5 month old.  Last night she was up from 2:15 to 5:00!!!  I am wondering about A times and bedtimes as well.  I started weaning her off the paci last Friday so at first I thought that was the issue, but now I think it might be something else.  I posted below but no one has responded yet.  :-\   But I just want you to know that I know what you're going through!
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Re: 6 month old awake (WIDE awake) at 4 am, every night!
« Reply #12 on: October 05, 2007, 14:48:01 pm »
Amandamom, sorry to hear that you have the same problem... kind of nice to know I'm not alone, though.

Myia, I am familiar with the general concept of pu/pd from glancing at info on these boards. Should I do more reading and try it? The very few times that I do pick him up at night, he basically falls asleep about 5 seconds later, only to wake when I place him back in his crib.

His naps generally require a great deal of settling: a story, a song, place him in his crib, then he can take as little as 5 minutes to settle, or as long as 45 minutes. He waves his arms around madly. I swaddle him from below the arms, as a full swaddle doesn't seem to work with him. I used to try holding his arms down, but have given up. I now leave the room, let him do his thing, then once he starts to cry (which nearly always happens), I go in and sh-pat puts him to sleep pretty quickly. Although sometimes we have to repeat everything past the song a couple of times, like right now  :-\ 

He also tends to knock his paci out. I keep saying I'm going to wean him of it, but then other issues come up and take precedence. He only uses paci for naps.

I must admit that sometimes I feel as though I'm putting him down for a nap wide awake, and that all of this struggling is just to tire himself out so he can then go to sleep. I'm wondering whether I"m on auto-pilot, watching the clock rather than his cues. But it's so hard to tell sometimes. Argh!!

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Re: 6 month old awake (WIDE awake) at 4 am, every night!
« Reply #13 on: October 06, 2007, 13:45:40 pm »
Well, night # 1 of our concerted effort to improve NWs. He woke at 2:20; I got him back to sleep at 3:40. One hour and 20 minutes. Hopefully we'll see an improvement tonight.

Myia,I'm having a hard time deciding when to respond to my LO's cries. At what point does it cross the line between rescuing and responding? When he cries then pauses to make self-soothing noises (kind of a moan and a sucking sound), I leave him. But once he really gets a real cry on, I go in. I picked him up twice, just sh-patted the other times. Does that sound right??

Allison

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Re: 6 month old awake (WIDE awake) at 4 am, every night!
« Reply #14 on: October 06, 2007, 17:53:32 pm »
That does sound right to me, Allison.  You want to allow him time to fuss and self soothe if he needs to but go in if he starts crying a more serious sounding cry without pauses.  I know it is tough to figure it out but the more you listen to his the clearer it will become when he really needs you.  You are doing a great job.   :-*
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