overtired or undertired????/ i just dont know anymore, and its driving me insane

[tracynben]

hi everyone
i have posted a few times on the same thing now about my LO, hes 26 months now, and ever since going into his bed i have been having sleepin issues with him, i never had any when he was in his cot. He was sleepin on avergae 7- 6.30, and 1.5-2 hours for a nap.
I understand they wont less sleep as they get older, but i still think hes not quite gettin enough sleep, just by watchin his tired signs and temprement.

Todays example, last night i put him down about 6pm, he finally went to sleep at about 7.15pm (i think), im guessing he woke about 6.15-6.30am.

By 10.30am he had started to loose it (when they start to melt down, get clingy, whinge etc), i changed his nappy 11.10am and he yawned an looked pretty tired. Was asleep about 11.25 and slept for 90 mins, till 12.55pm.

BUT by 4.30 hes starting his melt down again and lookin quite tired. This is normally whats happenin every day, but i dont put him to bed till 6-6.30 normally.
Seen as he was looking sleepy i thought for once i would try a very early bedtime, so 5.15pm milk and some stories and left his room at 5.30pm.
I dont know if hes got out of his bed (he normally does every single night, falls asleep on the floor after 1-1.5 hours).
It doesnt seem to matter what time i put him to bed, this happens everytime, i dont know anymore if hes undertired or overtired, ive tried different bedtimes, different naptimes, and nothing seems to make a difference.
He only goes to sleep straight away if hes exhausted, or has had no nap.
I dont know what to try anymore.
I still think he could do with about 11.5 hours at night, its jsut occasionally when hes had a very early nap about 10.30am, hes slept over 2 hours, and woke in a better mood, no clingyness, or moaning so i know it is effecting him.

I have tried blocking out the windows, that didnt work, he has the same bedtime rountine as hes always had, i really dont know what to try anymore.
Normally i just leave him in his room and ignore him to evntually fall asleep, we have tried going in and puttin him back in his bed, but it just doesnt work, he thinks its a game, and it makes him even worse, and more alert and even harder to settle.

Any ideas on what to try, does he sound undertired, overtired, arghhhhhhhhh.

tracy xxxxxxxxx

[skatty]

I am not sure but he is the same age as my DD who is teething molars right now and she is behaving the same way and is sooo tired, she definitely needs more sleep at the mo', could your DS be getting his molars? How long has he been in his BBB? Maybe he is very tired but is not used to his bed yet so cannot settle 

[tracynben]

hes been in it for about 9 weeks now, first 4 days were difficult but after that he was perfect and back to normal, and slept fine in it for 3 weeks, then all of a sudden he decided to get out and fall alseep on the floor, and has more or less done this every night for 5 weeks, he even does it at nap times too, unless hes exhausted he stays in it.
I dont know if hes got molars coming through, i havent checked.

tracy xxxxx

[skatty]

Hi Tracey, I caught up on your other post  I do think there are many who had problems with the BB after about a month, I know Vicku has had it that way recently. It definitely sounds like OT has accumalted so yes I would go with those earlier naps if he is falling asleep so quickly and having 2 hrs and stick to very early bedtimes.

Good luck and keep us posted, Katt x

[tracynben]

well at the moment (i know its only first day of tryin something new), but its a total nightmare, and even worse than normal. Im completely loosing it, i cant deal with it anymore, its stressin me out so much, prob cos im preg too.

He was showing signs of tiredness as early as 4.15pm, but he hadnt even had dinner, bath or anything. I give him dinner at 4.30pm and put on telly for him, he kinda jusst stared at it, and looked sleepy, i knew if i didnt get him to bed soon it would turn into OT. I quickly bathed him, milk and story, quick massage of feet, and left his room at 5.05pm.
 
He is even worse than ever, i have tried taking away his fav teddies he sleeps with, put him back in bed, nothing working.
hes totally trashed his room and thinks its one big game, so i just lost it and slammed his door (i know this is stupid and gettin mad wont solve anything, im just at my wits end).

Its been nearly 2 hours now, and no sign of him calming down. Im so emitionally and physically tired with it all now (and bein 36 weeks preg).
Dp doesnt understand, when i do try and explain he says i just read too many books and look on the interent too much, so he dont offer any support on it.

I didnt even want him in a bed yet, i was happy to keep him in his cot, why fix something that aint broken???
Dp wanted him in the bed so we can use cot for baby, why cant he just have bought another new cot. ARGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH.

tracy xxxxx

[skatty]

(((HUgs Tracy))) I didn't know you were pregnant, that must be so hard. If I were you I would put him back in the cot, the baby doesn't need it straight away,do you have a moses basket or something for them to start off in? Even in 2 months time your DS may be more ready, it does sound like he is not happy with his new bed, I know my DD still loves her cot, it is definitely a safe place for her. Do you have any friends between babies that can lend you a cot or maybe you can pick up a second hand one, I think it will be worth the money because once you have a baby to look after too you really wont need all this drama when it could so easily be solved with DS going back in his cot, he may well be even more unsettled once he has a new brother or sister taking up mums time. I feel so bad for you but also for your DS who is obviously communicating in the most obvious way he can that he is not happy with his new bed 

Go on do yourself a favour and put his cot back up, surely your DH can see that this situation will only get worst with a new baby in the house? You should be resting now and enjoying these last few weeks not stressing, I hope you can work it out, Katt xxxx

[tracynben]

we dont have a moses basket, only a travel cot, but they dont have the greatest matresss in the world. i was thinkin of just forcin dp to get another cot, maybe a second hand one.
I dont know waht the problem is with his bed in the first place, i dont think hes scared of it, cos he gets into at bedtime before storytime, and settles down ready for bed, and after 4 days of first going in it he was great for 3 weeks, no problems watsoever, then overnight everything changed and that was 5 weeks ago.
Im worried he will get confused though if we put him back in a cot, i jusst dont know what to do.
I mean i just leave him in his room and let him do what he wants until he falls alseep, could this have become a habit to him i wonder.
Should i be strict and stay in his room until he falls asleep and do gradual withdrawal, although i dunno if i have the patience for it, esp being preg.
I really dont know what the problem is, i think some of it is OT, some is maybe habit, i dont know what to try anymore, all i know is its effectin everyone in the family, im always grumpy an tired and take it out on everyone else, so i know something has to be done.

tracy xxx

[skatty]

I can only give my opinion and that is to try a cot again. He may well be able to sense there is a big change imminent and also if mum aint happy none is haapy so may also be ebeing effected by your emotions. I think you will be able to see straight away if he is happy to see his cot and if sleep improves immediately and then if you get a second hand cot you can let him decided when he is ready for his big bed, nearer to 3 you will be able to discuss it a bit. We are already doing some pre BB stuff, my LO loves BB and will always climb into anyones bed or pretend she is going to bed so we read her lots of stories with people in BBs and she has an Elmo dvd about sleep etc but we are going to wait until she is begging for a BB of her own! From the boards it does seem the most successful transitions happen the older the LO is. It does sound like everyne will be happier if he gets his cot back, why not let DH take over with DS and his sleep this WE so you can get some rest and also so he can really see how the situation is 

[tracynben]

yeah im really thinkin of putting the cot back in his room tomos, hes in childcare tomos, i mite keep the bed in there too, and see which one he chooses. I know i cant keep going the way things are, things arent improving and they are actually getting worse, not good with a new baby on the way.
Dp would help more at nite if he could, unfortunately hes not usually home until about 6.30-7, and i have already put ben to bed by then.
I told dp today that if things dont improve soon im puttin him back in the cot and we will have to get another one, he said thats fine, i wish that would have been the case in the first place and we prob could have avoided all this.

tracy xxxxx

[skatty]

Tracy, I am sending lots of sleep and settling vibes for your DS and the cot  Good luck and let us know how things go 

[tracynben]

one last try, i have blocked his windows out complety so its dark in his room (i live in australia and stays light until about 8pm), and i put his lullaby cd on, im gonna try this for a few days, and if this doesnt work hes going back in his cot

tracy xxxxx

[tracynben]

its been 2 days now, the first nite went great, he stayed in his bed, and i think he was asleep within 15-30 mins. Last nite wasnt so good, he got out and played with toys, i decided ill go in and put him back in bed, i did this 5 times, after the fifth time he was quiet, after an hour though of putting him to sleep. He slept from about 7.30pm-6am, nite before was 6.45pm-6am.
I still believe he needs about 11.5 hours at night, and it will make a big improvement to everyone.
  Im gonna see how this goes for the next few days, if no good ill put his cot in his room, but keep his bed there, and see what he wants to do, i dont care what my partner thinks, its drivin me insane now.

tracy xxxxxxxxx

[skatty]

It sounds like you have had definite improvement, a few days ago he would have been up for hours. Sending sleep vibes your way 

[tracynben]

i dunno yet, he was doing the same tonight, i thought i would try a new thing, and keep goin in and puttin him back in bed (lots of people swear by this method), if i dont try it how will i know its gonna work or not.
Well my partner has just fooked it up already.
DS was thinkin it was a game and playin around, but i know its not gonna be easy at first, but i know u have to be consistent or they get confused, i explain this to my partner but does he listen no, i tell him not to go in the room, so he does it anyway, shouts at ben, threatens to smack him, and is now still in his room 10 mins later, how am i ever gonna sort the problem if we cant even agree on how to deal with it.
ARGHHHHH
tracy xxxx

[tracynben]

today not so bad. He had a nap for 2 hours 40 mins, think was a catch up on lost sleep. I decided to go for a later bedtime he was in bed at 6.40pm, normal for him, he was gettin out of bed as i headed for the door, but i just ignored him.
I think this is what we gonna stick with now no matter what, his room is dark now, so i think that has made a difference, just got to stick to a consistent way of dealin with it ALL THE TIME, at least then i will know if theres an improvement.
Hes been quiet since i left him, i do think hes fell alseep behind the door but that doesnt matter, its been less than an hour.
SOmetimes i think he took up to an hour when he u se to stay on his bed, he just use to talk to himself, so i canjt complain

tracy xxxx

i think the key is to be consistent, dont get mad and dont stress.