Support for Raising Spirited Babies Part 3

[meltown]

continued from

http://babywhispererforums.com/index.php?topic=125995.0

[MasynSpencerElliotte]

Hi!

I've got a horrible memory, but I know there was a few new people on the thread...so welcome! I'm pretty new too, and have a touchy/spirited baby and a spirited toddler to boot (genetic? I think so!)

Campbellchick - thanks for the input, tried it last night, she almost was asleep at 7:00 then woke up and had a complete fit, total rage crying and all! We held her off at bestime until she started yawning, so she had about 2 hours of A time from the end of her catnap. I am considering giving her a bath in that time today but not sure if I should as bathtime is quite exciting to her. Or will it help tire her out?

 She is teething, but she had some tylenol and had slept good all day long. When I went in she was tossing her head around like she wanted to suck on something, so I pulled one arm out of her swaddle. She got quiet right away, but I have no idea if she was sucking her hand as her room is pitch black! So, this morning I left an arm out for her nap to see what happens!
 
Of course, now that I almost have Spencer's sleep going good, Masyn is dropping naps left and right! Is the universe plotting against me?

Heidi

[AshleyB]

Welcome to all the new people!

[campbellchick]

Hi to all of the new girls - I will try to get back on and respond, but am moving house so will be computerless and unpacking boxes for the next few days... 

Just quickly wanted to respond to a few things - Charlotte love the Christmas pic too Thanks for the offer on help - thankfully my dd is pretty good these days in sleeping, eating and playing, but am sticking around on this thread just incase it all goes haywire at some point  .  AND that is such fantastic news that Charles has been able to fall asleep with you OUTSIDE of his door.  Way to go on all of your hardwork to get to this point  .  And the best news is the soft carpet compared to the floorboards I am sure.  Just think one day before he turns 20 you may even make it back into your own bed again  .

Heidi - I always give my dd a bath right before bed.  She just loves her bath so it is stimulating, but I have always found it to tire her out too - especially when she was younger.  It may be worth a try, but up to you.  It seems to work for us.  Maybe you can increase her bedtime a little each night instead of aiming for 30 - 60 mins longer than usual?  Maybe you could try it in 15 min increments for a few nights before increasing it again?  Only if you think she may have been OT when you put her down at 7pm?  I think you'll find as she goes through napping better, she will gradually be able to stay awake longer in the afternoons so maybe the slow increase is the better way to go?  Just a thought anyway.

Anyway, had better go and actually do some work since I am at work  .  Hope you all have a good weekend xoxo

[MasynSpencerElliotte]

Campbellchick - You are so right - you seem to know Spencer without having met her! We did a bath today and it did tucker her out, she fussed a bit and fell asleep quicker, about 15 minutes later than usual.

Also today I let her have an arm out of her swaddle for naptime, and it went well, so I left it out for bedtime too! This may come back to haunt me as a NW, but it didn't seem to affect her naps at all. Honestly, when I went in to get her up from her nap and her little head was resting on her arm I almost cried - she's growing up, soon she'll be crawling and talking....yikes, someone stop me, I think I want another one!!

Heidi

[campbellchick]

Nooooo Heidi - you would just be asking for more punishment with a THIRD one  ....

That is great news that the bath worked, hopefully it will keep working and you'll find her bedtime will eventually get a little later and she will be a well rested little bubba!  I hope the arm out of the swaddle goes well for you.  I was always terrible at swaddling so my lo's never stayed in their's.  This probably explains the lack of napping and NW's when they were younger but I never had a problem getting rid of the swaddle at least.  My dd is a thumb sucker so I always had to leave one hand out for her when she was swaddled too (which made my swaddling even worse).  But isn't it sooo cute when they are sleeping on their arm like that.  My dd is about to turn 1 next week and I can't believe how much like a little girl she looks - it makes me sad and happy at the same time, but definitely no going back for #3 for us 

[glw5779]

Hi everyone.

I've just started to wonder if I'm confusing tired signs and bored signs in my attempt not to overstimulate my LO and have been putting her down when she's just bored. perhaps this is the reason I'm only getting 45mins out of her and why I can't get her to go down till 10pm.

How do others tell the difference between the 2. she's 4 months and very very spirited and during the day I've only been getting 1-1.5 hrs of awake time before putting her down. could she be bored not tired?

[shresmummy]

Hi glw5779, at least you're getting 45 mins out of you LO! I only manage to get 30 mins I suppose we have to see the humour in this somehow or else I would go completely nuts. I cannot imagine thinking of a third baby, let alone a second If my first LO sleeps through at least 1 nap for the full 1.5 hours I would be completely over the moon with excitement!

[MasynSpencerElliotte]

Hi everyone.

I've just started to wonder if I'm confusing tired signs and bored signs in my attempt not to overstimulate my LO and have been putting her down when she's just bored. perhaps this is the reason I'm only getting 45mins out of her and why I can't get her to go down till 10pm.

How do others tell the difference between the 2. she's 4 months and very very spirited and during the day I've only been getting 1-1.5 hrs of awake time before putting her down. could she be bored not tired?

Hi!

When Charlotte pointed this out, and I really paid attention to Spencer, the boredom signs were her getting cranky and yawning - but just one small yawn. When I pushed her A time, I waited until she started giving me her huge yawns, and 2 or 3 in a row complete with eye rubbing and head scratching! Now, she's used to the longer A time and the yawns don't necessarily happen, but she rubs her eyes and sucks her thumb.

Campbellchick - I learned how to swaddle from my mom, who can do a baby up so tight it's like a straightjacket! My kids both loved being so snug, but Spencer finally started sucking her thumb when she gets tired, so I thought she might like to have it out for sleep. (and she slept from 7pm - 6am with her arm out  ) 

I figure if I already have a spirited toddler, a touchy/spirited baby, if I get another one I'll feel like I actually know what I'm doing! (but what I tell DH is that the third time's a charm and we'll for sure get a textbook at least!) Yes, I know, I'm a bit delusional.....

Heidi

[sherry lynn]

Hi new comers

Charlotte, that was so sweet of you. It's a funny coincidence that you asked because I just asked Kirry for help this morning on the other thread   We have having major 2-1 nap switch difficulties. I had to stay with Lyle yesterday for both naps But bedtime was fine. In hindsight I think he was UT for the first nap. I thought OT, but it's so hard to tell between the two sometimes. Had resistance this morning and just got him up and tried again later and he went off fine. I'm pretty sure he is OT now though.... what's a mom to do   I'm soooooooooo HAPPY for you. You stuck to your guns with GW..... you are going to be an inspiration for many spirited moms to come   You are welcome for all the "help" don't really feel like I helped much, but more than happy to lend support where I can. We've been through so much ourselves in the sleep department and I've received so much support from this website. Glad to give back a little.

[AshleyB]

Bathtime has become such a chore for us! Every night after her solids, she is OT and cries to go to bed, but it's too early. The only activity she will tolerate is a bath, because she loves it so much. However, it is very stimulating and she gets soooo angry if we try to stop her from doing anything she wants, like, say, climbing over the edge of the tub and cracking her skull open. Eventually, we have to take her out just because she's getting too wound up. I would much rather do something low key like reading, but she just gets mad and keeps lunging for her crib to be put down. I can't do anything about her being OT because of daycare, but I need to know how to deal with it better. She simply cannot go to bed at 6!

[Mileshunt]

Hi everyone & welcome newcomers!  We've been away the last week in the Lakes and I couldn't believe how many new posts there were!  I would just echo Ashley and agree that it does get better as they get older and sleep does start to work itself out.  You might find like I did that your spirited LO has a bit of another temperament too so the spiritedness shows more in naps and less so with eating etc.  Whatever the issue I'm sure there'll be other mums who have been through the same thing.  I couldn't understand why my DD would not sleep in the day as a newborn (except the first week when she was asleep all the time!!) but now at 16mo she has one good nap a day.  It's hard work when they don't nap so big hugs.

Linds x

ps might not be posting on here as much - now L is technically a toddler I may be spending more time in the spirited children thread!  Thanks for all the advice and support from you guys! Hopefully I can come back occaisionally and stick my oar in, ahem give some pearls of wisdom - hahahaha!

[Mileshunt]

.... of course #2 could be spirited too so we might be back!

[AfonsoandDinisMum]

Hi everybody!
My DS is 21mo and spirited.
Hope I'm in the right place, but i will need much of your help

Hugs

[mollydolly]

Hi there I am so glad i've found this forum especially dedicated to mums with spirited babies....I thought I was the only one as I seem to be surrounded by friends and family with angel babies.

Molly is almost 3 months and things have progressed thankfully....the first 8 weeks were hell as she cried constantly and never slept. She screamed in her car seat, when I took her out in the pram, after a feed..all the times when other babies seem to sleep! I thought a lot of her issues were due to hunger as from the moment she was born she cried and was smacking her lips together...something which my mum who's a midwife in delivery suite has never seen! (she helped to deliver her). So I used to top her up with formula in the hope it would make her fall asleep but even that didn't seem to work and so the crying continued until she was about 6 weeks and lights started to interest her! Whether it be electric light, daylight, TV....finally I got the odd 10 minutes here and there of peace.
On reflection I think her issues were partly due to overtiredness as she never slept... not that I wish I could go back and have another go knowing what I know now as I still struggle to get Molly to sleep! She was a very unsettled baby due to her spirited nature which wasn't going to improve until she was able to interact more.
My sister IL lent me the bw book which in the early days stressed me out even more as I tried to follow the routine but it was blown out the window every day as I was feeding constantly and never able to get her to sleep without a long battle which often took us to the next feed....at least noone could critizise me for feeding to sleep! One thing we did use was the shh/pat method to get her to sleep which seemed to work after 30+ mins and then holding her for a further 20mins once she'd dropped off.
If it weren't for the support of my husband and mum I would have cracked up as even my closest friend who has a 7 month old angel baby didn't understand...and still doesn't.
Molly has never taken a dummy but one thing she did take was a bottle so on a few occasions my husband and I went out while my mum babysat. My mum is the most patient woman and doesn't get stressed by babies crying, hence why she's a midwife but when we got back after doing some Xmas shopping she was worn out and at the end of her tether.
However, Xmas day was the last time Molly had a bottle! She's now decided she's a boobie girl and won't entertain a bottle at all....no break for me now!
I've been investing a lot of time recently trying to help Molly sleep independently and getting her into a routine but it's so hard as she wakes at a different time every morning...apart from that I follow EASY although more often it tends to be EASAE. As for the sleeping it's easier to get her down when she's not OT and she has even gone to sleep on her own 3 times now! HUGE progress. Other than that I shh/pat until she starts to close her eyes then put her down and continue to shhh until she's asleep but... we still have our traumatic shh/patting episodes followed by 30mins of sleep then start it all over again. I lost count how many times I put her down at the weekend when we replaced her moses basket with a crib - ended up rolling up towels and placing them down the sides so she felt more secure which helped eventually.
She's also began to fall asleep in her pram but wakes as soon as I stop pushing despite looking like she's in a deep sleep! and also falls asleep in the car now but wakes as soon as I take her inside!
It has got easier but I still have my days when I feel so low and wonder how i'll get through the day but it's such a relief to read the messages on this board so thankyou! No doubt i'll be back soon in the search for some support!