Going with set nap/bedtimes for 18 mo old - what are my expectations?

[aimeeL]

So we've been on one nap for about 5 wks now... fabulous first wk, terrible 2nd & 3rd wk (partly because we were on vacay) and decent last two wks.  Have been going with set nap/bedtimes - give or take 15 min - to try to get some consistency and give HER something to "count on", so to speak... and I *think* it's helping.. every few days, it seems, we get a 2+ hr nap and/or 11+ hr night.. but it is definitely more the exception than the rule, iykwim.. I was starting to feel better because I thought that maybe she was starting to be able to "even out" her sleep herself.. as in, take a long night/long nap when the OT was getting too much and sort of "self-regulate", if that makes any sense..

But got to wondering today if my expectations are too high currently with her set naps.  Here's our ideal schedule:

7 a.m. - wakeup
12:15 p.m. 2:30 pm. - nap
7 p.m. - bedtime

(Doesn't that look lovely "on paper?  )

The problem is that she is more and more consistently doing BARELY an 11 hr night now, and more often than not, will do a 1.5-1.75 hr nap.  Like I said - we get over 2 hrs occasionally - had a long 2 hr 40 min nap a wk ago, and a 2 hr 20 min nap on Friday.  BUT - the day is looking more like this:

6:15 - wakeup
12:15 - 1:50 - nap
7 p.m. - bedtime.

So - my question in this long, rambling post is - even though my "ideal" bedtime is 7 p.m., should I move it up up a bit - like 6:30? - since that last A time is getting kinda long, more often than not?  Should I set it at 6:30 p.m. - then once this whole dang 2-1 switch evens out, move bedtime later?  My biggest concern with that is that she doesn't often do longer than 11 hrs at night.. so am worried about just shifting the whole day earlier.. which would be pointless. 

I don't know.  Thoughts?

[babybarr]

How much daysleep was she getting before going to one nap?

[aimeeL]

We'd been on a 20 min am nap/1.5 hr nap for at least 1-2 mos. 

Forgot to mention that one of the biggest reasons I thought to post last night was because she woke at 5:20 yesterday am (after a 7:15 bedtime) and did 5:45 this am!  (after a 7 p.m. bedtime)  At least with today, I know it's only a bit shorter than her normal 11 hrs at night, and really, she's done 10.5 before - but that's usually after an odd late bedtime AND she's NOT a typical EWer.. I don't know WHEN she's woken before 6 am!  And here it's happened 2 days in a row..

[babybarr]

I'd drop bedtime back to 6.30pm for a couple of days to see if that helps.  Maybe she's got a little OT.

[~*Nicole*~]

Or throw in 2 naps on days you can...esp. EW days....to see if that helps even her out. Her A time is probably shorter on days she had an EW and a shorter nap/night preceding it. Ykwim? So if she did a 1.5 hr nap and a 10.5 or less night and woke early...do 2 naps to compensate or an early bedtime or both...and hope the following day is a normal wake up and a one nap day...You'll probably get a few one nap days and then maybe need to throw in a 2 nap day again. Esp. if teething or anything is happening to disrupt sleep or cause shorter A times right now.

Once her A time is consistently 5 or more hours without backing up due to OT (like more than 5 hours and pretty much 4.5 to 5 hours even when OT) she'll probably stay TOTALLY one nap and going back to 2 will be  more of a hinderence than a help. Probably then only an early bedtime will help if you get OT creeping in.

So I'd try an earlier bedtime if she short naps and if she still does and EW try for 2 naps the way you were before you switched to one. Then go right back to 1 nap if you get a good wake up the following day.

Does that make sense???

[*Becky*]

agree with pp.
DS is also 18 months and just wanted to offer reassurance. We tend to get an 11 hour night and anything from 1-2 hours day sleep. If he short naps I do a 6.30pm bedtime (he is awake anytime from 6-6.30am usually ) If he naps well it is more like 7/7.30pm.
If we get an early morning AND a short nap then I know we are heading into OT.

[aimeeL]

Thanks so much for your responses.. I've been feeling a bit discouraged these last couple of days with the short naps and nights..

I didn't think to do 2 naps, only because I thought we were "over" it.  I did try 1.5 wks ago, and while it didn't help necessarily, it didn't hurt, either.  Maybe you're right and that's what I need to sort of "reset" our day.  You don't think having that am CN will reinforce the EW?  Like "hey, I get to sleep now and make up for my early morning"?

Didn't get the chance to do 2 naps today, but I definitely will tomorrow if she EWs.  Will also try an earlier bedtime tonight and see how that goes.

Thanks again.

[momtonb&ab]

you have gotten great advice so far, just thought i would chime in a bit too.  we didn't have much luck with going back to 2 naps at that age, our guys were a bit resistent to that, but i was never afraid to push bedtime earlier.   i always looked realistically at their day and felt that a 12 hour day was necessary if i was ever going to get a 12 hour night.  an at 18 months, 6:15 to 12:30 was too long for them, they really were stuck closer to 5.5/6hours max if a regular long night. 

it's hard, this transition, it may take a while yet to sort it out.  if the 2 nap day doesn't work again, dont' be afraid to go to early bedtimes.  (and dont' worry, she won't go to bed at 5:30-6pm forever just for a few weeks while she figures out this new napping thing).

huge hugs to you!

[aimeeL]

Aw shucks - thanks for the encouragement.

I know - I've thought about the am A time being too long, too, but as long as school is in session - 3.5 more wks! - that's the only option I have as she goes in and out of work with me.  I leave by noon, and so she's usually out by 12:15 p.m.  That's why that nap is so set. 

On a bright note, her nap is at 2.75 hr and counting right now!  Was kicking myself because we were out with friends, and she fell asleep even LATER than normal - 12:30 - after a 5:45 wakeup! - but I guess it's turning out okay. 

If I put her down earlier for bed (prob not tonight, though, after this nap), isn't there still a very scary chance that she'll do a 10-10.5 hr night still and wake up at an even earlier time?

[momtonb&ab]

If I put her down earlier for bed (prob not tonight, though, after this nap), isn't there still a very scary chance that she'll do a 10-10.5 hr night still and wake up at an even earlier time?

there is always that chance, but i think you will find it a slim chance - at that age i really found the 12 hour day (with a bit of flexibility) was still so important.   i always erred on the side of a bit early with longer wind down (more stories, or more quiet time) rather than miss the window and have them OT.

if you get to the end of your 3 weeks, give a try to the early nap if early bed doesn't resolve it.  and you are right, after a 3 hour nap today i wouldn't go too early for bed - although keep an eye, this is when you might see she is still tired from catching up with that nap - then slightly early or right on time bed would be good.  hang in there, it does get easier!

[~*Nicole*~]

We did find that if we had a long nap or two naps...bedtime had to be a certain degree later or she'd not go to sleep until later anyway...babbling etc. and then the night was shorter b/c she'd still wake up around her usual time. OR if we do early bedtime we do get earlier wake up times than usual. Sort of stinks.

Hopefully she won't do that to you.

[aimeeL]

WHEW.. I think we managed to salvage today! So woke her up at 3:30 p.m. - after 3 hrs!! - and put her down at 7:30 p.m.  She's normally been doing about 5 hrs to bedtime because of the shorter naps... But she's asleep after just 10 min! - so here's hoping for a decent wakeup...

[*Becky*]

Let us know how you get on. x

[aimeeL]

Sooo... 6 a.m. wakeup this morning after 7:40 p.m. bedtime.  Still a short night, but of course, she got the 3 hr nap yesterday.  Do I still do 2 naps?

[*Becky*]

I would say that is normal after that great nap and it was a short A time too after it. It is up to you. I find that if DS is rested and happy then a one nap day is possible with a 6am wake up but it may be a stretch for her. Either do a short 15 min am and longer pm or just go for it and try one! Good luck!