15 MO separation anxiety at night

[mummylou83]

Hi all

I'm looking for some advice about my 15mo son....he is currently waking between 4 & 530 every morning absolutely crying his heart out and not settling unless I am in his room. Even when he does fall to sleep he wakes as soon as I move.

He has generally been a good sleeper and slept through from 3 months but takes a long time to get back into routine after being poorly or teething. He recently got his first four molars through and I think we have a bit of AP issues as he really struggled at night whilst teething so we were picking him up to give him some paracetamol and water then shush patting him to sleep and creeping out of the room. I am a stay at home mum and last weekend my husband and I went away for the first weekend since LO arrived....whilst he was very happy with my parents this is when the 530 waking moved to more like 4/430. As we also have a 3.5 yo son so my mum got LO up as she was worried about waking older son.

Having ruled out wake to sleep as his waking up at different times I decided to try the walk in walk out method the last two nights. First night he took an hour to go to sleep and this morning 1.5 hours. Is this normal and what is the experience of others about how long to settle and how many nights to see an effect?

The other thing I was wondering is if we need to do the 2-1 nap transition but when he has been waking so early this has been impossible !

His normal routine is
6/630am wake and bottle of milk
730/8am breakfast
9am nap for 45 mins (I always have to wake him from this)
12pm lunch
1pm nap for 1.5hrs
5pm tea
615pm batxh, bottle milk, stories and bed (asleep by 645/7pm)

We do lots of activities, groups and playing in between naps and he has a morning and afternoon snack. He eats very well ! Another thing is that he has started walking in the last week so lots going on !

Sorry for all the information but would love to hear any advice as my husband, older son and I are all v tired with the early starts and I would love my LO to get the sleep he needs !

Thank you x

[mummylou83]

Anyone who can help please?! X

[Buttonbobs]

Hi there,

I would definitely try shifting more towards one nap. That first A time is really short even for a short nap and he may well be waking earlier to give himself a decent length A time before the nap. Could you try pushing that first A time fifteen minutes longer and then going for a shelter nap - say 30 mins and the going for a pm nap at 1.30 for a start. You should hold that pattern for at least three days before moving that morning nap a little later again.

Many LOs are managing A times of more than 4.5/5 hours by this age and some are settled firmly onto one nap. Have a look here -
Average A times- BOOKMARK ME!
A three hour A time is suited to a much younger baby and he may just not be tired enough to sleep through until later in the morning and still have daytime sleep as often as he is.

What temperament is your LO?

You might also want to remember that this may all be the case even if your LO is exhibited OT signs, he may well be OT by BT as he's not getting enough restorative sleep. Perhaps try keeping him in his cot until your chosen morning time, e.g. 6.30 and count to A time from when you get him up, not when he wakes. As the first nap gets later he should then start sleeping more in the morning

What do you think?

[mummylou83]

Hi Naomi

Thank you so much for your reply 

Your suggestion makes sense, I was aware that his A times are short but he has always gone down so easily and I had to wake him that I thought he still needed these naps...

However, your plan gives a way into getting to one nap! How long do you think I would need to keep going with pushing back the morning nap and making it 30 mins before I tried for just one nap?

Actually yesterday after doing WIWO for 1.5 hrs he then slept until 820am and we then couldn't fit in a morning nap as we were at church so he lasted until 1330 then slept for 1.5 hours so he can obviously cope with longer A times. Slept until 540 today, did WIWO for 30 mins then he slept until 630 but was a struggle to keep him awake until 9 for nap! Argh!

Anyway, I will definitely try to push back that nap and shorten it and see how we get on, I will let you know!

Thank you so much again for replying xx

[Buttonbobs]

Good luck - it's difficult to say how long you'll keep a short CN for, every LO is different. He seems very ready though so it may be quicker than for others. You may find if you get a later start (like today) then you can go for one nap, but if you do that, do keep the day reasonably short as he may get OT with a longer day on one nap.

It'll take a good few days for him to get used to the changes and he may also continue to show tired signs at that old nap time. He's been napping for a while at that time so perhaps offer him a snack and a drink instead and then a change of scene and see if that helps.

[mummylou83]

Ps forgot to say he is an interesting combination of textbook and spirited!

[mummylou83]

Great thank you, that is really useful advice! My 3 year old is always raring to go in the morning so I think a snack and a change of scene could be a useful way of us keeping him going! Its half term for us this week so no pre school runs to worry about so hopefully we can start making some incremental changes and see how we get on!

Thank you, so nice to get support from someone who knows what they are talking about it is hard to see a solution sometimes when you are so used to a routine, so all advice gratefully received! x

[Buttonbobs]

Well I'm no expert, just a mum like you who learnt lots from others here and wanted to pass on the help I'd received. Sometimes it can seem an obvious answer when someone sees this from a distance - it's far harder with my own LO

[mummylou83]

It is a great tool to help parents support each other 

[Buttonbobs]

It definitely is that

[mummylou83]

Made it through with the revised routine today 

Woke just before 6 and got him up then, nap 915-945 & then 1330-1500. Had to wake him both times but he was fine and made it to 7pm to sleep. Hopefully we can continue....depending on wake up time I may try for one nap tomorrow as think from how he was today that we could make it if he wakes at a decent time.


Will keep you posted, thanks again for your support Xx

[Buttonbobs]

Good start sweetie, Fingers crossed for the next few days x

[mummylou83]

More advice please?!

So made it through on one nap today 

630 got up (after crying and sleeping on and off with WIWO from 530)
1145 nap until 1330 (he woke up himself)
635 bed

He did pretty well! Was v tired 9-10am but then seemed to get over it!

My question is...tomorrow we have plans in the morning that I can't change which means I won't be able to do early lunch and early nap as unlikely to get home until about 1pm. Is it ok to go back to a short am CN and later pm sleep and then push bedtime to 7ish again? Don't want to mess things up. I'm pretty sure when we did 2-1 with our eldest that for the first couple of weeks we did some days with 1 and some days with 2 naps.

Thoughts/advice much appreciated! Thank you

[mummylou83]

Posted before had time to say thank you Xx

[Buttonbobs]

You can certainly switch between the two - it may take longer to settle to one nap, but it just depends on the LO really. If you can find space to make sure you get a good three/four day stretch soon where you can do the nap at the new time to bed in, things may settle sooner.

Hope that helps x