Set naps at 8.5mo... any experiences, what does it look like?

[katie80]

I've struggled and struggled to get baby C onto a good routine. He's now mostly going down independent, often with one or two PDs, but has a default nap time of 30min. We've had lots and lots of 2x30min nap days, because I can't seem to find the right A time. I'm tired and frustrated and wondering if setting the naps might help him find some consistency.

We change the clocks here this weekend, so I was thinking maybe next week would be a good time to give it a try. However, we do have a couple mornings we go out. Will set naps work if I can't do the same every single day? Also, he's a bit touchy, so I'm a little nervous he'll never settle in if it's not right.

Anyway, I'd love to hear how it worked for others and have a hand to hold if I'm brave enough to try (not sure I can get A times out of my head, but feeling that may not be the best option at this point). TIA

[lauradj]

Hi Katie!  Set naps worked really well for us, whether it was because it allowed us to get out and do more during the day or because DS was getting enough A time, I don't know.  Do you have the Average A times link already?  I've included it below, just in case.  I would suggest you choose a week when you'll be home at the set nap times for a few days in a row, so you can set the precedent but if you know it will be difficult for you to work with a set nap schedule, maybe it's not for you?  Just a thought 

Average A times- BOOKMARK ME!!

[MasynSpencerElliotte]

I did set naps with DD2 & DD3. DD2 was a touchy baby and it actually worked fantastic for her, in fact I could set a clock by her still!

DD3 would probably have been okay with either going by A times or set naps but as she was on 2 naps and then 1 nap early,set times just worked better around school run etc. Even if it doesn't result in total consistancy from the baby at least it will give you some!

[katie80]

Thanks, ladies. As I'm trying to wrap my brain around this, would you give me some specifics? How did you get them established? Did you just go with the average A time and set the naps for then? I seem to have tried everywhere from 3h-3h30/40min and have never gotten any consistency (maybe I haven't held it long enough, though ... I'm feeling a little desperate). It seems he is harder to get to sleep if the A time is too short.

Let's say wake-up is around 6:30ish... would you then set the naps at 10 and 3 and hold to them no matter what? For a week? Is bedtime flexible if both naps end up being a bust? Do you wake in the morning to ensure the nap times work?

The other thought I had is trying to align an earlier afternoon with DS1's nap (1:30-2:30), otherwise we're stuck at home all day. So, a shorter morning nap maybe 9:30-10:15 and then something like 12:45-2:45/3pm. I kinda tried that the last two days... first day went ok, but today was a total bust as I really struggled to get him down for the first nap (45min of PD ). He's still relatively new to going down on his own, so that may be the issue, but I've done so much PD with this boy, I'd like to avoid it as much as possible.

[MasynSpencerElliotte]

So do you think he is lsn? When he does his 2 x 30 min naps is he happy (well okay in a touchy sense, yk is he seeming ot/os or just his own normal?). I think if he is or even on the low end of average that trying for an ut nap at 9:30 am may not work. DD3 did best (when on two naps) with a long morning A, decent nap, apop catnap and then a long A to bed. Once the catnap got hard to even apop and the first nap was late enough I went to one nap.

With DD2 I went by A times (average ones) and set naps by that, we did stick to the times strictly but that suited her. With DD3 we have a vague naptime (anywhere from 12:45/1:15) that works and we play around if she is acting out of sorts. (Which means she is very ill, ordinary stuff like teeth and a cold do not mean more sleep is needed). Ebt is also a no go, just does not suit her!

I don't wake in the morning (unless we have to be at daycare) as she is generally either up at the same time anyways or ew if she gets too much day sleep the previous day. I cap her nap though and since all other sleep times are set that is the one place she can tack on if she needs to.

[shresmummy]

Found your new thread Katie following along..

[katie80]

Hi

So do you think he is lsn?

I don't know. He does seem to get OT/OS on the days of very little sleep, but he pushes through. I think he runs on fumes much of the time, because when he does get a decent nap he always seems more tired afterward.

I am a bit worried I might not be able to get him down for a 9:30 nap, but I would much prefer that routine. I'm hesitant to go the other route because of the later afternoon nap, eventually CN. He's NEVER slept well at that time of day, even as a young baby. And it's a time of day when the other two need me more that the thought of having to try to get baby C down or APOP somehow (which I have no foolproof way of doing, really) is a bit nerve wracking. So, neither option looks great then. I guess that's why I'm here... among many other reasons!!

[MasynSpencerElliotte]

Kind of a no win situation! I wonder though if you persist with the nap set at 9:30 he would get used to it? It worked better for us to have a long nap first and a catnap after the school run but who knows if I had forced the issue the other way she may have adapted! Worth a try for a couple of weeks to see if it is at all possible, and then go from there if it all goes to pot!

[katie80]

Yeah, it's hard to know what's best. I've had lots of trouble being decisive this time around... maybe because I'm so tired, maybe because he's just not that easy to read. Or, maybe I've just been doing it wrong this whole time!

I guess I'll give the desired routine a good try, like you say, and then scrap it if it just doesn't work. Thanks for your thoughts!

[MasynSpencerElliotte]

No problem! Saw this on fb and totally agree...

[katie80]

ROFL... so true in this house!!!

[lauradj]

Trying to think back, I think T's naps were 9:30am-11:00am and 2:30pm-4:00.  I kept them like that for a solid 2 months before I started the 2-1 transition.  I think before then I was doing the first nap at 9am and letting that be a 2hr nap.  T was pretty high sleep needs until he was about 9/10 months old and then all of a sudden he was ready to sleep less.  My schedule doesn't really help you though because it doesn't accommodate a school run.  Is there another Mom in your neighbourhood who could pick your kid up after school if you drop their kid off in the morning?  That might be a good trade off.

[shresmummy]

That picture is so true! I feel like part of my brain is missing most of the time

I'm. Going to try my desired routine too and scrap it if it doesn't work. Nothing else seems to be working now anyway!

Just wondering, going down the set naps path...what do you do if they short nap? (Which is the only form of napping my lo knows!) Just keep going and hope their body adjusts? But stick and hold the set nap times? Or try for a third nap (which in fact I guess at this age we'd be trying to limit?) ...or do you just Ap naps for like say a week to make sure they nap how you want them to nap and for the time you want them to nap and help thier body adjust?

The school pick up run is the worst ( that's what's messing up my days at the moment.. The drop off is manageable..

Hope you had a good day today Katie xx

[jessmum46]

I would try to resettle a short nap if you can, otherwise push on through to next set time -15mins.  You can bring BT up to 30 mins or so early too to compensate if things go pear-shaped.  If you want to AP naps for a week to get his body clock a bit more set then you can, but given how much PD you've been doing it may be a bit counter-productive?

I think I'd try to avoid the CN as much as you can now - at his age it may do more harm than good unless the whole day is a complete bust x

[MasynSpencerElliotte]

Totally agree with Katherine. And so glaf I am not the only one with mush for brains! Hopefully it gets better at some point