New here :) need help with sleep regression - dont want to CIO

[Jaime0722]

Hi all! I am new here and trying to seek out more info on the baby whisperer technique for sleep issues. I have read the book and love the technique for everything. EASY really works for us, and my LO put herself on that routine. But we're having problems with sleep and everyone keeps telling me to try CIO. And I just can't! So I need your help!! I need this to work so I don't have to listen to people either tell me that I should do CIO or I'll end up like my BIL and SIL who still aren't STTN at 2 years. HELP!!! lol

Lily is 5.5 months old and is EBF. I'd say she's between an angel baby and a textbook baby....but she's also got some 'grumpy baby' in her lol. She was STTN from 8 weeks until about 21 weeks. (BLISS! ) But, as of Dec. 1st she just all of a sudden forgot how to sleep for long periods of time.

I had read somewhere else that it might be the 4 month sleep regression...and to not worry about bad habits, just do what was needed to get her back to sleep. Well here we are a month later and she was up every 2 hours last night. But she doesn't just stir, she screams until I feed her. I don't know if she actually is going through a sleep regression, a growth spurt, teething, gas bubbles in her tummy, struggling with her cold, or something else. But I've been referring to my little girl as a gremlin because of her temperament at night. lol

So here is some background info on what I'm doing with her, in hopes that someone will be able to help me figure out what I'm doing wrong, or where I could make some changes.

Bedtime routine consists of a bath, pjs, feed and then bed. For the longest time she was so used to EASY that she didn't need to be fed, she was just ready for bed. Right now, she is fed, given her pacifier and then put down while she's awake and calm. I actually found she became more fussy if I tried rocking her to sleep...she actually prefers to just be put down so she can fall asleep on her own. She goes to sleep and will spit out the paci on her own. (as far as I can tell, its not a prop...I was going in and taking it out once she was asleep if she hadn't spat it out on her own but right now I'm nervous it will wake her). She has slept in her crib in her own room since day 1. I use a noise machine with a heartbeat/white noise combo. There's a blue night light on the top that stays on, which isn't too bright. Right now she is swaddled on her top half only - her hips and legs are free to move. She doesn't roll around at night, she just stays put. I have her swaddled so her arms don't flail and wake her up. Her room is kept at 70/21 degrees.

Today was the first day of our NEW time schedule. This is what it looked like:
She woke up for the day by 7am
Nap 9-9:45
Nap 12-1:30
Nap 3:30-4:15
Bath 6:30
Bed by 7pm

I should note that this isn't a strict schedule, its just when her naps fell in the EASY routine. But my focus was to get her down earlier tonight.

Before today her bath wasn't until between 8:30-9:00...but she's been super cranky in the evenings so because her naps aligned today I decided to put her down early. So far, she fell asleep at 7 and woke briefly at 745 when DH went in and put her pacifier back in. She has been sleeping since then....so 745-915 so that's good!

What are some things I should be doing or not doing to get her to STTN again?

When she wakes up and shh pat isn't working because she's screaming so hard, what should I do? Feed? Rock?

I'm just so confused because of what she might be going through - sleep regression, growth spurt, teething, etc. etc. etc.

Thanks for your help
--First-time sleep-deprived Mom

[lauradj]

Ahh so frustrating!  Welcome to BW, we're happy to have you here and we will fully support you finding a method for independent sleep for your LO 
I was wondering, would you mind posting your EASY with the feeds included?  Coupled with the late BT, it sounds like she's possibly hungry and likely OT, both of which contribute to lots of NW's.  Although each baby is different, many BW parents try to go with a 12 hr day with babies under a year.  We did 7-7 in our house, some babies are more 6-6 wired, but that's something to consider.
I'll wait for your revised EASY before I make any further suggestions 

[Jaime0722]

So our day is flexible in times...but for instance, today Lily got up at 8am. I nurse her off both sides in her room, then we go downstairs for play. She plays throughout the day in different scenarios....independent play and interactive play happen in her exersaucer, jolly jumper, on the floor, in her high chair...I try to mix it up so she's not bored and is learning. We read and sing songs, she plays with toys, books, etc. During her play times, I will sometimes take her for a short walk outside. Once she starts to get saucy with me I know she's tired and is ready for her nap. We have no problems with going down for a nap, as long as I don't miss the window.

This is what I suspect today will look like.

8am- wake and feed
830 - play
945 - nap
1030 - wake and feed
11 - play
1230pm - nap
2 - wake and feed
230- play
4 - nap
445 - wake and feed
515 - play
630 - bath
7 - bed

The only real issue we're having is night wakes. Last night I tried calming her without feeding and she went on and on for 75 mins. I finally caved and fed her. She eats, (or chugs) takes her pacifier and will go down in her crib while calm and awake. Which leads me to believe that she's hungry and isn't using me as her pacifier...that she actually needs feeding.

Last night went like this:
7pm - asleep
745 - stir, and replace pacifier - fell back asleep.
1045 - awake - tried shh pat, bounce/rocking, darkened room, gave gripe water for suspected gas bubbles - NOTHING calmed her long enough to fall asleep
1200 - still awake so I fed her
1215 - asleep
308- awake - fed
320 - asleep
8am - awake and fed

I can't handle her crying like she did last night. At 5.5 months though, she shouldn't need to be fed throughout the night, right? Especially since she didn't eat throughout the night from 8-20 weeks. We haven't changed anything in our routine at all. I don't know what is going on with her. 

[weaver]

At 5.5 months though, she shouldn't need to be fed throughout the night, right? Especially since she didn't eat throughout the night from 8-20 weeks.

She might well, honey!  Babies have different feeding needs as they go through growth spurts at different ages.  Mine both had a DF at this age and definitely moved in and out of having NFs.  Looking at your routine, I would've fed at around 10.30 (as a DF, so yes that's me feeding them on purpose at that time) and then at 3 am if needed.  So I don't think that's wildly unusual and I wouldn't worry too much about it as a prop at this stage.  You might want to see here too:
Night Feeds and the Breast Fed Baby

[lauradj]

Yup, I agree with Anne.  Not all babies need night feeds but I wouldn't be surprised in the slightest if your baby did, especially if she's chugging it back.  That's says hungry to me!