Author Topic: How early is too early?  (Read 2214 times)

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Offline DaddyD

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How early is too early?
« on: February 01, 2015, 11:20:44 am »
Hello all. I'm a newly minted father. On Dec. 30th, my wife gave birth to our first son, Jasper Daniel. If you're interested to hear our story, you can read about it here.

I've read the bulk of the Baby Whisperer. I'm on the last chapters, and I feel that intellectually I have a good grasp of it, but in real life with my son Jasper, things are much less clear.

He's 32 days old today. I'm not sure if it's too early to really start him on a routine. On this forum, I saw a sample routine that began at 6 weeks. Is 5 weeks too early to start? I'm not too concerned with getting on the routine right now, but I do want to avoid any sort of accidental parenting that will plague all of us later on.

I want to ask questions about each letter of the EASY routine so I may as well start here with eating.

My wife has been breastfeeding exclusively. And so far so good. J.D. has gained the proper amount of weight and by my observations, my wife's and the doctor's, he is growing great. (He's already outgrown clothes!) So while he's getting plenty to eat, he eats very often. It can be frustrating for my wife because he's a lazy drinker. He'll drink, then drift off to a light sleep, and want to feed anywhere from 15 minutes to an hour later. Of course, there are some times when he drinks a lot, and then passes out for 2 hours. But everyday there's a period of a few to a lot of hours, where he eats just about every hour and kinda sleeps fitfully in between.

I'm concerned that he's being nursed to sleep and that this could eventually (if it hasn't already) become a sleep prop.



So to sum up:

1) Is the sleepy eating a problem? I know it's common and have read the 'remedies', e.g. tickle his feet, undress him a bit, talk loudly to him. Most of those don't work on old J.D., and if they do seemingly not for very long. I want to avoid accidental parenting and creating a sleep prop.

2) I know that the ideal EASY for a 6 week old is ~3 hours. A lot of times, J.D. is about half that. Is this something he will grow into? If we don't feed him and he wants to eat, there's not much we can do to keep him from crying. Any other suggestions about this?

3) Off topic--I have other questions that are primarily sleep related. Should I start a new thread in that section? I'm guessing yes, but I want to be sure.

**Thanks!**
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Offline *Ali*

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Re: How early is too early?
« Reply #1 on: February 01, 2015, 12:19:12 pm »
Hello and welcome to baby whisperer! Congratulations on the birth of your son.
Thank you for sharing your story with us. It sounds like a wonderful experience for a lovely little family. :)

First thing to note is that breastfeeding research has moved on significantly since the books were written and we like to think that Tracy would have updated her advice in this area had she still been around. We now know how easily breast milk us digested and that it is normal and necessary for many babies to feed more often than 3hrly. It's best to feed them on cue rather than try to lengthen the time between feeds. If he wants feeding then you must feed him. Tracy said always feed a hungry baby  :)

The reason there are no sample routines for pre-6wo is that before this age few babies are on any semblance of a predictable routine and the EASY changes drastically from one day to the next.

We have these FAQ which gives tips on how to put the beginnings of easy in place for a EBF baby. Breastfeeding and EASY in the first few weeks
Starting EASY - all you need to know and more!

I found with my LOs that they were sleepy to start with so got fed to sleep lots but if I continued with feeding on wake up as they got older then they stopped falling asleep at the end of the feed and had a little A time and then I could help them fall asleep without the feed using shush pat. So no, I wouldn't worry about the feeding to sleep at this age.

If you have more sleep related questions after reading this and the FAQs I've linked above then do feel free to post on the sleep boards, which I imagine will be best on general sleep at this age.  :)
Cadan Dec 2009 and Colby Aug 2011


Offline DaddyD

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Re: How early is too early?
« Reply #2 on: February 01, 2015, 12:48:02 pm »
Thanks a lot, Ali. I will read the link you shared with me and go from there.

All the best to you and your family.
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Offline lily_layne

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Re: How early is too early?
« Reply #3 on: February 01, 2015, 23:35:21 pm »
Welcome to BW!
As Ali said, many newborns need to eat more frequently than ever 3 hours so go ahead and feed when he's hungry. One thing to consider is if he is feeding for nourishment or for comfort during those long, dozy feeds. If he is comfort feeding and your wife is ok with nursing lots, keep going with what you're doing. (Just make sure she's got some movies to watch or good books to read while cuddling and nursing ;)) If she is feeling like she wants a break (and her supply is good) you could consider introducing a pacifier. Some babies just need to suck a lot and a pacifier can help them meet that need.

Don't worry too much about AP (accidental parenting) at this stage. I worried about that way too much with my first at the expense of relaxing and enjoying cuddling her and rocking/feeding her to sleep. If you think about it, J.D. was fed, jiggled, and snugged up tight 24 hours a day in utero so even if he is held 12 hours a day and nursing a lot, it's still a drastic reduction from what he had. Like Ali said, when he starts staying awake on his own after a feed you can do sh/pat.
DD - August 2012
DS - November 2014

Offline DaddyD

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Re: How early is too early?
« Reply #4 on: February 02, 2015, 04:14:47 am »
Thanks, Lily. We wanted to avoid the pacifier b/c we thought it was only a shortcut, but now I'm reading more that it can offer real benefits.

Any pacifier tips?

My wife and I are really enjoying being parents. J.D. is smiling now and wow, it's like I never knew what sunshine was.

Thanks again.
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Offline *Ali*

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Re: How early is too early?
« Reply #5 on: February 02, 2015, 04:32:31 am »
It is very special being a parent that's for sure :)

Pacis are recommended to reduce the risk of SIDS. My tips would be to only offer when settling him down to sleep and don't keep replugging it every time he spits it out unless he fusses for it. Ideally you want him to suck as much as he needs to and then spit it out.  But it is ok if he chooses to fall asleep sucking it too.
Cadan Dec 2009 and Colby Aug 2011


Offline DaddyD

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Re: How early is too early?
« Reply #6 on: February 02, 2015, 04:44:58 am »
Thanks, Ali. My wife isn't sold on it, but there's no hurry either.

What a ride! I've spent so much time on Google, reading about everything that happens. It's a bit overwhelming, but I'm also glad that I can access this kind of information. Since we're in Taiwan, we don't have ready access to our families for support and info.

Off to work! Thanks again!
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Offline *Ali*

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Re: How early is too early?
« Reply #7 on: February 02, 2015, 07:55:23 am »
Well if your DW prefers not to use a paci then that's fine too. It is after all only a dummy of the real thing ;)
Cadan Dec 2009 and Colby Aug 2011


Offline creations

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Re: How early is too early?
« Reply #8 on: February 02, 2015, 10:49:09 am »
Hello and welcome to BW :)
I had tears in my eyes when I read the story of your sons birth - lovely :)

He's 32 days old today. I'm not sure if it's too early to really start him on a routine.
My LO was only just over 4wks old when I found BW. I started implementing EASY the same day.  It's not too early but just as with your son's birth, take things as they come, be gentle, follow signs, go with the flow. I'm sure you already know it's not about a rigid schedule, but about having something of a more predictable routine where you all feel as calm and comfortable as possible. Mine was feeding roughly every 2hrs at that 4wk stage, I began with just a minute or two of awake/activity time after the feed (just a nappy change really) but sometimes he still fell asleep eating and that's ok.

WRT the paci, my DS wouldn't take one, there are benefits as you know but it's not essential. The positive side for me was that I had no option but to shush/pat and find ways to sooth him to sleep without the paci or feeding to sleep (he wouldn't take anything in his mouth once he was full and never sucked on a paci or his fingers/thumb. We tried the paci a few times over a number of weeks).  He was falling to sleep independently before 10wks so whilst some might not begin the EASY routine until later, it is certainly not too soon to start either.