Author Topic: Nursing a toddler (Read 3928 times)

newkidontheblock · « **on:** June 17, 2015, 02:16:04 am »

Hi all. Looking for a bit of support. We have completed a year of ebf (yay) For a few months now we have been doing 3 feeds a day - WU in the morning, after nap and at BT. I figured this would continue for a while and then I would gradually transition to only nursing at WU and BT. But all of a sudden, DD has no interest in nursing. We just returned from a vacation where I struggled to get her to feed. I tried different positions but she would only snack. I ended up adding milk to her solids, feeding her yoghurt and nursing her whenever she wanted - so she was snacking through the day and then started waking at night for food - this is unheard of for us. Now we are back but she is still disinterested in nursing. I'm guessing this is a phase and hopefully it should pass but I was wondering if anyone had some advice for me on how to proceed?

I'm also unsure about how much milk would she be needing at this point. If she refuses to nurse but is happy with her solids, do I need to worry? This wouldn't be an issue except for the reverse cycling. How important does milk intake remain at this point? She isn't even interested in taking it from a bottle. Should I try cow's milk? Breastmilk is the best for her and I have no issues with supply, so seems silly to even consider it but I'm concerned about her intake TBH

I guess I am just looking for a little insight/guidance into nursing a toddler, especially one who is least interested!

Katet · « **Reply #1 on:** June 17, 2015, 08:26:09 am »

Both my boys started to reject the Breast after trips away, not sure why, I know at nearly 18mo I wasn't ready to stop with DS2, but he was & started pulling down my shirt if I even so much as lifted it to offer.

By a year old really it is more about the food they eat in a week than about the day, so the night waking may be more about teeth discomfort etc. What does she do if you don't offer a feed at night, but say just offered some water? I think if it was me (& from what I went through with DS2) I'd just keep offering when you planned it to be & then look at a few more high calorie foods & calcium rich foods( eg say avocado & cheeses) to compensate & make sure you feel she is getting enough calorie wise.

becj86 · « **Reply #2 on:** June 17, 2015, 09:17:38 am »

I had his with DS. I was really upset since we'd had such a hard start to BF but I figured I'd listen to what he wanted and did don't offer, don't refuse... then I couldn't get him off me

Once he realised I wasn't offering, he asked a lot for milk. He even got to the point he could latch himself while I was walking down the street carrying him on my hip - he'd just swing his body across my front, grab my shoulder, pull my shirt and bra down and latch

*Ali* · « **Reply #3 on:** June 17, 2015, 09:33:47 am »

I know it's a pain but would you consider pumping and offering breastmilk in a beaker?

What about offering in the dark room the moment she wakes?

According to the NHS website they ideally need 3x 4-5oz portions of milk after 1yo (actually in usa i think the rec is 16) but that includes all dairy like yogurt and cheese. According to kellymom typical intake of breastmilk for 12-24mo is 14-19oz. http://kellymom.com/bf/pumpingmoms/pumping/milkcalc/

newkidontheblock · « **Reply #4 on:** June 17, 2015, 09:43:18 am »

Thanks for your responses

Katet - So I actually did try offering water at our 5.30 waking this morning but she wasn't interested. I offered in a sippy cup - should I try in a bottle instead?

Bec- I remember you mentioning that DS went through a phase where he wanted to nurse standing up? I wonder if that is it. I can sometimes get her to stay on a bit longer by letting her stand on a chair or sit on a table. Not too happy about this. So with don't offer, don't refuse, do I not even offer at our normal times? What I have been doing the past few days is offering, she generally latches on and drinks for a bit and then I don't press the issue or re-offer. She hasn't been asking for it later though:(

Ali, I have no issues with pumping and offering it to her. I already pump in the morning and at night, so I would just have to add one session in the afternoon until this normalises. But she isn't interested in a bottle either. Lol. I've been adding milk to her morning porridge and giving her 2-3 oz with muesli in the evening. And I do offer in a dark room as soon as she wakes up. No go.

So do you all feel this could just be a normal nursing strike? Are there any other positions you would recommend?

*Ali* · « **Reply #5 on:** June 17, 2015, 10:18:17 am »

Yes I'd vote for a nursing strike and I bet she will start feeding again soon if you keep allowing the opportunity.

weaver · « **Reply #6 on:** June 17, 2015, 10:58:53 am »

Teeth??

newkidontheblock · « **Reply #7 on:** June 17, 2015, 14:58:11 pm »

no teeth at all! Another thing that is bothering me. Why won't they just come out already!

Thanks Ali, I really hope you are right

Just put her to bed. She nursed for 1 minute and wouldn't even take the bottle.

Katet · « **Reply #8 on:** June 17, 2015, 21:21:49 pm »

Quote from: newkidontheblock on June 17, 2015, 09:43:18 am

Katet - So I actually did try offering water at our 5.30 waking this morning but she wasn't interested. I offered in a sippy cup - should I try in a bottle instead?

That's probably because if you offered any child water when they are used to something like milk they'd refuse it anyway, at 5.30am I'd not offer any milk as it will 'wake up' the digestive system & create a habit you don't want, in a 1yo you'd expect it take 3-7 days to get a change of habit, so just keep offering the water & don't feed.

I didn't have a single tooth until 14months old apparently & it wasn't an issue later on, but the fact they aren't there probably means the gums are getting a bit sore & that she has less interest & it could be causing the waking at night.

becj86 · « **Reply #9 on:** June 17, 2015, 22:37:40 pm »

Could just be a normal nursing strike, certainly sounds like it.

I wouldn't do DODR if you're not prepared to wean.

It could be teeth starting to move...

newkidontheblock · « **Reply #10 on:** June 18, 2015, 02:59:09 am »

Thank you. I will keep on keeping on. I am definitely not ready to wean yet! Hope this little miss doesn't have other things in mind

newkidontheblock · « **Reply #11 on:** June 19, 2015, 03:47:35 am »

I'm trying to stay positive but she is driving me nuts. After nursing for a minute yesterday morning and afternoon, she finally took a nice feed at bedtime. But still woke up twice in the night.
And this morning, she has refused to nurse altogether.
This is really making me think twice about my nursing goals. I've never had an issue with NWs, and definitely not for food. Although I can keep nursing her, should I be introducing other milk too, on the off chance that she will take that at least? I could keep nursing whenever she will let me but if she was at least having two glasses of milk a day, it would be fine. She dislikes yoghurt & cheese upsets her tummy, so milk was really my only option.

And on a day like this, when she has refused her morning nurse, we've moved on to DH her breakfast but I'm leaving for work and nursing again later isn't possible. Should I be offering a bottle?

Katet · « **Reply #12 on:** June 19, 2015, 04:04:47 am »

Quote from: newkidontheblock on June 19, 2015, 03:47:35 am

She dislikes yoghurt & cheese upsets her tummy, so milk was really my only option.

I'd say Milk would upset even more, when I tried my DS1 on milk, him having been on yogurt & cheese for a while he started throwing up, stopped when we stopped the milk.

Honestly try to look at the whole week & not just a day also if she hasn't been waking for food at night before this it is pretty reasonable to assume it isn't food that she needs now more developmental in some ways like teeth moving below the gums or overtired/undertired issues

jessmum46 · « **Reply #13 on:** June 19, 2015, 06:36:19 am »

Also Fleur now she is over one milk is not essential. Not saying this to discourage you from your nursing goals, but to relieve some of your nutritional worries. Calcium can be gained from a whole host of non-dairy sources eg broccoli, fluid from water/dilute fresh juice etc, healthy non-dairy fats eg cooking veg in coconut oil etc. Neither of mine have had much milk since weaning, both enjoyed cheese and yoghurt but there are other options

I guess what I'm saying is try not to worry about substituting anything for breast milk, of course do whatever you want to do to encourage her back to the breast

but just wanted to pop in and say although I completely get the emotional side of breastfeeding as well as the nutritional benefits, if it is causing huge levels of stress to you both there is no harm nutritionally in not feeding her. Sorry it's hard to say what I mean without sounding like I'm saying 'give up'

which is totally not what I'm saying. Here to support every step to keep your BF journey going if that's what you both want but didn't want you to have additional worries about her missing out nutritionally xxxxx

newkidontheblock · « **Reply #14 on:** June 19, 2015, 08:15:39 am »

Thanks Katherine and Katet.

Katherine - That's exactly what I wanted to know - the nutritional side of things. Right now I honestly feel like I am so over this! Everyone talks about how they can't get their babies off the breast and this one couldn't care less. I've offered twice more since morning but she is not at all interested. Maybe she is in fact teething..who knows..she's psyched me out about this way too many times. She has gone off her solids too now. Sigh... Last night she WU at 1 & 5 and would not settle with DH. She didn't even nurse, simply latched on and passed out. And so we have a prop issue too. Grrr!

Katet- Definitely lots of OT in the mix. I do agree that it is more to blame than hunger for the NWs

So I think I'm going to have to tackle this reverse cycling situation starting with not nursing at night. What if she is hungry though? Should I anyway persevere and not feed? Because any night feed seems to put her off all milk in the morning & afternoon.

*Ali* · « **Reply #15 on:** June 19, 2015, 10:15:08 am »

If you've not been feeding at night up to now I would just resettle without a feed. She will protest but after a few nights she should stop waking to ask for BF.

I wouldn't bother with other milk either. And defo wouldn't start a bottle at this age. In the UK we are advised to stop bottles by 12mo. Does she have any milk in cereal?

The BFing is good for immunity as well as nutrition so I would just keep offering and let her take what she wants. I bet you would be surprised how much a 1yo can take in a 1-2min BF anyway.

newkidontheblock · « **Reply #16 on:** June 19, 2015, 10:25:50 am »

Will do. I'm pretty worried as I have no experience in this and the child can scream! She is having 2-3 oz with oats and I have now been giving her some with meusli in the evenings too. I'm going to just stop stressing about this then. I have NWs and EWs to worry about anyway

So if bottle use is discouraged after a year..how is milk given? Only straw/sippy cups?

jessmum46 · « **Reply #17 on:** June 19, 2015, 10:51:33 am »

I use a doidy cup for B, he seems to prefer that to a sippy for milk - http://www.amazon.co.uk/Doidy-cup-Cup-Turquoise/dp/B0012GFV7S

*Ali* · « **Reply #18 on:** June 19, 2015, 12:51:55 pm »

Any kind of cup really.

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Author Topic: Nursing a toddler (Read 3928 times)