Author Topic: Hold my hand through the early days?  (Read 4951 times)

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Offline michaeljacknnugg

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Hold my hand through the early days?
« on: November 14, 2015, 07:54:23 am »
Gosh this is hard. It was horrendous the first time, so I'm happy that we are further ahead than then, but I find it all so distressing. Maybe because of the history there?

Feeding should be easier than this, it's such a cornerstone of the early days.

I'm battling engorged breasts and a baby who will suddenly decide that even though he's hungry, he will definitely NOT feed no matter what we do, and will just scream for a while instead. Yesterday for the last couple of feeds he wore himself out crying beforehand and I bailed and put him onto his preferred side to at least get something into him.

He's draining the breast well, especially at night, and definitely knows that eating more at night is a good thing. I have an awful lot of milk so he should grow fast!

I just can't wait to get to the stage where I just pop him on and away he goes, yk? But I don't want to wish this time away, either.

I just need a way to feel better about it not being easy, I guess.

Hold my hand for a bit?
My 'little man' - kind-hearted Spirited whirlwind, 2008
My love, my everything - BabyTwo, Nov 2015

Offline Sarah - Enfys' Mum

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Re: Hold my hand through the early days?
« Reply #1 on: November 14, 2015, 07:57:34 am »
Of course.  The first few days are hard, but you can do it.





Offline Buntybear

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Re: Hold my hand through the early days?
« Reply #2 on: November 14, 2015, 11:19:08 am »
Holding your hand hun x I have no idea how I got through those early weeks. It was painful till he was 8 weeks old! Keep going - it will get better and then it is easier and cheaper than bottles  :)

Offline lily_layne

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Re: Hold my hand through the early days?
« Reply #3 on: November 14, 2015, 16:33:39 pm »
Here with you.
DD - August 2012
DS - November 2014

Offline twogirlsmommy

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Re: Hold my hand through the early days?
« Reply #4 on: November 14, 2015, 17:54:33 pm »
Hugs and hand holding.



Offline ENMS

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Re: Hold my hand through the early days?
« Reply #5 on: November 14, 2015, 18:25:01 pm »
Holding your hand. Those first few weeks are really hard but so worth it as it does get easier xx
Elise



Offline becj86

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Re: Hold my hand through the early days?
« Reply #6 on: November 14, 2015, 19:20:54 pm »
Engorgement is so hard. I found with DS that if they were too full, I had to express a bit first so he could latch. He also had a prefered side for when I was engorged as one nipple has lots of little holes and the other has one very large one with a couple of small ones so more like a hose than a spray. I guess what I'm saying is that the preference could simply be anatomical.

For me, those first weeks of feeding were really hard. You're not alone in that general experience and thinking it should be easy just makes it worse, sweetie. You're placing expectations on it and the less of those you have, the easier it gets. Once I stopped thinking of BF as a bonding thing (for me, it simply wasn't) and just as feeding, it was much easier.

When he's hungry and not wanting to feed, have you tried just having your breast available to him and putting him in your chest? Letting him relax skin to skin may help and he may even latch himself. I thought it was magical the first time DS latched himself, amazing to watch.

Hugs and hand holding through these tricky early days xx

Offline weaver

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Re: Hold my hand through the early days?
« Reply #7 on: November 14, 2015, 20:04:04 pm »
You can do it, you're very very early days still, remember :) he's learning still and so are you (about him!). 

ITA with skin to skin (lots of) to help him relax, he can also do that with DH. Do some 'laid-back' bfing if you can.  You can use a cold flannel on your breast if it's feeling very engorged, or a spot of hand-expressing onto a towel or flannel, I wouldn't pump as that will just encourage production. 

Hopefully you should see things settle down from day to day, and by the end of week two, you will already be into a rhythm with it.

I bailed and put him onto his preferred side to at least get something into him.
I'd just go with what works, don't stress yourself or him too much. 
*Anne*, loving mama to a honeybee (2010) and a sweetpea (2012).  BF for 4 proud years.


Offline cuckoochick

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Re: Hold my hand through the early days?
« Reply #8 on: November 14, 2015, 21:53:34 pm »
Tons of hugs. The early weeks are tough, tough, tough but it does click into place. Hope you can get some time camped out on the sofa, lots of biscuits and chocolate. Xxx




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Offline Erin M

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Re: Hold my hand through the early days?
« Reply #9 on: November 15, 2015, 03:42:30 am »
Lots more hugs and hand holding.  Those early days really are very hard!

Offline michaeljacknnugg

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Re: Hold my hand through the early days?
« Reply #10 on: November 15, 2015, 11:24:05 am »
Thanks ladies! It's definitely getting easier and I am less engorged already, which is great.

He was weighed yesterday and is gaining, position looks good while feeding. He's not refused to go on in 24hrs now - he's decided to refuse to sleep instead! All normal, I know.

Am camped out on sofa as per instructions :)
My 'little man' - kind-hearted Spirited whirlwind, 2008
My love, my everything - BabyTwo, Nov 2015

Offline centrestage88

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Re: Hold my hand through the early days?
« Reply #11 on: November 15, 2015, 14:59:24 pm »
glad things are better. =)
and congrats on the arrival of lo!

Offline Buntybear

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Re: Hold my hand through the early days?
« Reply #12 on: November 15, 2015, 16:57:53 pm »
Brilliant that he is gaining weight! You must be so pleased!

Offline *Ali*

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Re: Hold my hand through the early days?
« Reply #13 on: November 15, 2015, 22:22:27 pm »
I remember some awful nights with Isla refusing to feed as I was too engorged for her to get her mouth around it. I had to hand express about an ounce to make it softer for her to manage. But of course as pp said that increases production so you have to be careful not to express more than you need to. It did die down after a few days.

It's very early days so glad to hear that you are doing better already. Go mama!
Cadan Dec 2009 and Colby Aug 2011


Offline lily_layne

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Re: Hold my hand through the early days?
« Reply #14 on: November 15, 2015, 22:35:42 pm »
Do some 'laid-back' bfing if you can.
I love the laid-back approach because it allowed for me to relax while nursing. I often nursed in our recliner, fully reclined with babe in whatever position he chose to latch on. Gravity helped slow the flow a bit and made it easier for him to feed.
DD - August 2012
DS - November 2014