Author Topic: I need some help**Update may 23rd!  (Read 19224 times)

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Offline Shiv52

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I need some help**Update may 23rd!
« on: April 04, 2016, 08:51:28 am »
Baby N is 5 days old today. We're EBF and not having the easiest time. She was 6lb 13 oz and was weighed on day 3 and weight loss was within the 10%.  She's peeing and pooing loads and her poo is the right colour for a BF baby at this stage.



I have really sore and cracked nipples and dreading putting her to breast. The pain is not yet at the toe curling stage but it is sore throughout and after my nipple is showing more damage.   I nearly had them healed and off course she started to feed more often so they're just not having a rest.

Here's the issues:
My nipples are mega sensitive anyways so I do think there is a certain amount of 'toughening up' they need to do. This happened the last two times but I'm having a harder time persevering this time.

It is taking her forever to latch. I am being really really careful about how she's latching on and not accepting a lazy latch. She just doesn't seem to know what to do. She just licks and gets frustrated. I am not getting that lovely 'wide open mouth' at all so I do think her latch is probably too shallow. But it's literally taking 20/25 minutes to get her on and even then I'm still not getting her to open up. Her mouth really only seems to open so far.

We are stripping down and feeding skin to skin. I'm being conscious of not letting her go too long between feeds so she's not starving

I've tried expressing to rest my nipples but I just don't get enough to satisfy her. I've spoon feed a few mls before attaching her.

My milk has come in and I'm pretty engorged. I'm expressing to get the nipple/areola soft before feeding to reduce the swelling

She's doing a good job at feeding once on and my breast is much softer after but not empty but I think this is the case until things settle

I can't get her to feed in more than one position.  She won't feed unless she is lying in left side which means cradle hold for one breast and rugby hold for other.  I've tried so many positions and she won't even attempt to latch on. Just gets very distressed and twists about. This is not helpful as then the same areas are being aggravated each feed.

I'm swaddling her troublesome hands and that has helped us get latched on quicker without half the faffing

Each feed is like a military operation. I'm taking brufen before a feed to help with the pain. I'm numbing the area a bit with ice beforehand. I'm keeping the house warm as the cold irritates my poor nipples.

After a feed I am expressing milk and putting it around the nipple and letting it air dry. I'm using lanolin to keep things moist so scabs aren't developing. I'm exposing my boobs to air throughout the day and using breast pads to stop the sensitive areas rubbing.

I've had her latch checked by 3 midwives. They've not seen the debacle of her going on but have been here when she's been feeding and all said it looks great.



I had a total meltdown last night when she wanted to feed and my poor nipple was just so so sensitive.  I ended up sending DH for formula in the middle of the night.


Anyone any advice?  I don't know how best to resolve things but I do not want to continue like this. My big girls have hardly seen me as each feed takes so long and it's distressing for me and the baby to be carrying on like this.   I watched every you tube latching video and I just don't know how to get her to open her mouth any wider to help her get a bit of a deeper latch. It's taking 20 minutes to get what we're getting. My other two were just ready to go.   I will be devastated if I stop but at 4am I just didn't see an alternative.

I am doing one feed at a time mentality and all that.

Any ideas? 

Thanks xxx
« Last Edit: May 23, 2016, 16:26:41 pm by Shiv52 »





Offline weaver

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Re: I need some help (and a pep talk!)
« Reply #1 on: April 04, 2016, 09:03:05 am »
Hugs lovely.

For everything latch related, look up the Jack Newman website, great videos with expert commentary. Do you think she has pain/tension in her face or head that's preventing her latching? LO1 (and me) benefitted massively from cranio-sacral osteopathy on day 3. He was like a different baby and fed v happily. Breast compressions might also encourage her to work harder.

Can you see an LC thru the hospital if you think you need one?

For your nipples, get multimam compresses - available from boots here. They are amazingly good. Rapid healing and immediately soothing. I would consider a pain killer as well.

The first week can be a bit crazy anyway so one feed at a time is completely the way to go.

For yourself, if you open that sort of thing, some homeopathic camomilla would sooth your nerves, or just rescue remedy if that's easier to get

Sorry that's a bit patchy, have sick 3 to on my knee but HTH. One feed at a time. You can do it.
*Anne*, loving mama to a honeybee (2010) and a sweetpea (2012).  BF for 4 proud years.


Offline weaver

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Re: I need some help (and a pep talk!)
« Reply #2 on: April 04, 2016, 09:30:09 am »
PS bear in mind that most MWs have sth like a half day training on bfing during their training and unless they go out of their way to learn more after that, they are generally not v knowledgable about BFing. I would get an LC if you can, an independent one would come to the house and not leave til they had seen everything.

From what you say above (sorry scanned it too fast first time) about her position preference and difficulty opening her mouth wide enough, it reminds me a lot of LO1. He had lots of tension in his jaw after his birth and just couldn't get his mouth open. The osteopath was able to sooth and release that.

Massive hugs and lots of supportive vibes.
« Last Edit: April 04, 2016, 10:22:03 am by weaver »
*Anne*, loving mama to a honeybee (2010) and a sweetpea (2012).  BF for 4 proud years.


Offline <Catherine>

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Re: I need some help (and a pep talk!)
« Reply #3 on: April 04, 2016, 09:45:47 am »
I dont have any advice but if it wasn't for you shiv Ben would have been on formula when I was struggling too, so lots of encouragement and support from me.

You know you can get through this difficult bit, especially with some help from the ladies here, but if you feel you need to move to a bottle (whether that be breast milk or formula) you know that's ok too. You will do what's right for you and baby.

Hugs and love xxx
Catherine x








Offline Mum of PA

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Re: I need some help (and a pep talk!)
« Reply #4 on: April 04, 2016, 11:32:47 am »
Massive hugs.  I second Weaver's advice on getting an independent lactation consultant if you can.   I had a very difficult (and painful) time in the early days with BF DD and hired a independent LC who came to us and observed everything and didn't leave until things were sorted out. She was a godsend for me.

Offline jessmum46

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Re: I need some help (and a pep talk!)
« Reply #5 on: April 04, 2016, 12:12:45 pm »
Ask them to check for a tongue tie, particularly a posterior one. My sister had a very similar time trying to BF her DS and it turned out that was the issue.  I know they are not widely recommended particularly in the early days but nipple shields were a godsend for them and under the care of a LC who knew what she was doing they have got back to full EBF without the shields, and also without needing to do anything to divide the tie. Big (((hugs))) and hope it gets much easier soon, remember you are doing an amazing job!

Offline zissi

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Re: I need some help (and a pep talk!)
« Reply #6 on: April 04, 2016, 12:36:31 pm »
hi there,
congrats on the new arrival. I can only second the other people. get a LC to see the baby and ask her for tongue tie. it certainly sounds like it (both of mine were tight), especially since you have been BF before and know what you are talking about.Hope it gets all sorted soon and don't hesitate to get TT snipped if needed as this will resolve the issue very quickly.
Franziska

Offline Buntybear

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Re: I need some help (and a pep talk!)
« Reply #7 on: April 04, 2016, 13:48:07 pm »
Agree with the other ladies and get someone to come and help you with your hold and latch.

Are uou also using a cream to help with the soreness? I used a purple lanolin tube from Boots.

FWIW It hurt wth Olly till he was 6 weeks old. I don't know even now how I got through it but I did and i ended up feeding him till he was 14 months old.

love and hugs xx

Offline aisling

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Re: I need some help (and a pep talk!)
« Reply #8 on: April 04, 2016, 20:47:17 pm »
How are you today.  Lots of vibes and hugs.  xo

Offline Shiv52

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Re: I need some help (and a pep talk!)
« Reply #9 on: April 04, 2016, 22:04:03 pm »
 :-* :-*

I have had a much better day. Still sooo sore to feed but I see an improvement in my nipples. I got the MAM things that Anne recommended and OMG what a difference. My MWs all told me you couldn't apply enough lanolin but given I've been using of for days on end I think it was causing part of the issue. I'd noticed my poor nipples were never going back to a 'relaxed' state and were just staying firm the entire time which was contributing to the latching issues. I also think keeping the whole nipple area moist was making it easier for the skin to be tearing feed after feed. I could also be making that up. But all I know is this afternoon I was able to feed take a break then reattach for a top up feed. And I was able to do it again tonight with my really sore boob.

Still not perfect. She is still not opening her mouth although if I press on her chin she can. I just don't have the octopus skills mastered yet to push down on her chin and get her quickly latched like the videos show. It took us over 20 minutes to latch on earlier while she was howling the poor mite.

The night will tell all!!

Thanks for all the hugs. I balled and cried earlier when I read them.  I have a LC able to come tomorrow afternoon and rang to see about tongue tie and  I can see him Wednesday if things are still ridiculous. I also rang a cranial sacrio person so waiting for them to get back. I'm willing to explore all avenues.

Anyone have any insight into the lanolin issue?  I think I remember Liz saying moist healing had issues but I can't be sure. I must message her.

Xxxxxxxx





Offline MasynSpencerElliotte

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Re: I need some help (and a pep talk!)
« Reply #10 on: April 04, 2016, 22:48:54 pm »
(((Hugs))) hopefully one of the avenues you are exploring leads to a solution for you and Miss N xx Sorry no btdt advice.
Heidi




Offline Erin M

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Re: I need some help (and a pep talk!)
« Reply #11 on: April 05, 2016, 01:12:51 am »
Big ((((hugs)))))) Shiv.  Cheering you on!  Nipple shields maybe?  I had a friend who used them for all feeds until 3 months when she was finally able to wean her son from them.  He went on to feed until her was somewhere around 3, so clearly it didn't interfere with long term nursing.  :)

Offline lily_layne

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Re: I need some help (and a pep talk!)
« Reply #12 on: April 05, 2016, 01:54:53 am »
I have nothing to add that hasn't already been said, but I'm here to cheer you on and offer support.
DD - August 2012
DS - November 2014

Offline zissi

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Re: I need some help (and a pep talk!)
« Reply #13 on: April 05, 2016, 08:43:29 am »
I wasn't a fan of lanolin. used it a lot with DD1 and I think that was the reason why I got thrush but maybe not. with my second I didn't use a bra, kept nipples exposed as much as I could and slept topless too. this all helped to heal them quicker I think. express some BM after a feed and let it air dry. hope you are getting better quickly!!!
Franziska

Offline weaver

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Re: I need some help (and a pep talk!)
« Reply #14 on: April 05, 2016, 08:57:31 am »
Lanolin did nothing for me but so glad you got the MAM yokies. They are amazing.

Tearing up reading your update. (((Hugs))) and here hoping for more positives.
*Anne*, loving mama to a honeybee (2010) and a sweetpea (2012).  BF for 4 proud years.