I need some help**Update may 23rd!

[cath~]

lots of ((hugs)) and cheering you on too x

you are doing amazingly and well done for seeking out the support so quickly

[becj86]

Shiv, lots of hugs. I don't think I'll ever forget my "my body couldn't kill him while he was inside me so now its trying to kill him by not making enough food" meltdown at about 6-7 days. I went on to lose a piece of nipple, the tearing was so bad and still BF til 2.5 years. This feeding thing is so damn hard when its not easy, hats off to you for persevering. I found completely stopping all the mechanics of BF as taught helped, just putting L on my chest with me laid back about 30-45 degrees, head near nipple, he shuffled around and latched on his own and it was the first painless latch we'd managed. He was maybe 2-3 weeks older than your little one is now though - could be worth a try while she's calm/just waking from a nap? I later found a video of essentially the same technique called biological nurturing, I was just trying skin to skin to see if that would help...

FX the LC is able to help xx

[lily_layne]

biological nurturing

Oh yes! I forgot about biological nurturing. It's the approach I used and I know a few mamas who struggled that found that it really helped.

[weaver]

Agree about biological nurturing.

FX things are improving for you and baby. Sending hugs and tons of vibes.

[trimbler]

(((Hugs))) sounds like you're doing an amazing job, on top of your own recovery and of course probably 'baby blues' Hope you get some great advice from the LC, I do remember that horrible stage of being on the phone to whatever BF helplines I could find, trying to book appointments etc etc and worrying myself silly about weight gain (or lack of) - for us, we kind of stumbled on until getting a posterior tongue tie diagnosed and feeding got so much better once it was divided. DD never had a great latch until then and every feed took forever and was so frustrating - I feel your pain, although my cracked nipples did toughen up after the first week or so, not pleasant though more (((hugs)))

[Shiv52]

So literally the last few days I've been going one step forward, then ten back. I'm really starting to lose the will with the whole thing.

I was at a stage where I had the nipple on my left breast healed enough to feed while resting and hand expressing from the other one. Unfortunately it has become grazed again. I did feed from the really sore boob last night as I am conscious of engorgement/mastitis and while sore it was bearable. But after feeding today it is grazed again.

I saw the BF midwife today and she showed me a wee change to do in terms of latching on but she said she did not see any issues with my latch at all.  She actually latched her on for me and I burst out crying with the pain. Seems I'm just not being aggressive enough for want of a better word in terms of getting her on. But the pain is unreal. It eases slightly after putting her on but is still sore throughout. And I know I am totally reluctant to suck it up and put her on as that initial pain is like something else.

So the student midwife was looking at the baby and noticed her tongue was coated and then got the midwife who looked at my boobs and noticed they were all spotty around my areola and on the breast and said she thought I'd thrush and said it looked pretty awful and could be contributing to the pain. So they me a prescription for the cream and tablets and gel for the baby.

The issue though is I don't know how to muddle though. I know the advice is to just keep feeding until things heal. At the group she fed twice from my good boob and it's now cracked and so sore.  When we got home she was rooting away and i managed to get her on the other boob without too much pain but I've just tried to feed her there and the pain was awful. After a few minutes she came off and of course that nipple is now grazed again.  I tried the other boob too and just couldn't manage it. She was practically hysterical going on and off. I'd expressed some milk and ended up just giving her a bottle as I just can't bring myself to fed her.

I really am at the stage where I just don't see the point in this. I will be devastated if I give up breast feeding. The couple of feeds we've had which have been not so sore have been so lovely but on the whole the rest have been such hard work. I'm so disappointed I'd my nipples nearly healed and now they're all cracked again. I'm worried about creating negative associations trying to get her on while she is howling and upset and me yelping in pain and she gets so exhausted with the whole carry on. 
But I'm having such a hard time perservering and even wanting to latch her on because the pain is so awful.

Apparently the medication will take a couple of days to start taking effect and they have said I should just feed if I can and express if I can't.   I have been a basket case for days now and have been pretty much crying non stop. It's so frustrating to have this gorgeous baby who is so so content and half my time with her is like torture. I can't even do skin to skin properly as if she knocks my boob or nipples at all it is excruciating.

Any advice?  I can't keep going like this.  Will this cracking/healing nonsense stop once the thrush is under control?   Part of me is thinking I'll give myself a certain amount of time to get her on and if we just can't manage then I'll give her a bottle until things settle. But I know that'll bring problems too. I'm going to try the nipple shields again and see do they help. The MW said they could really help for a few days just to get the feeding going without continually traumatising the nipples. But I had tried them the other day and the pain was just the same.


Ugh!!!! Thoughts?  This is consuming my every minute and DH has to go back to work at some stage and I can't keep this up. My preference is to get on top of this and get my poor nipples back to normal and to keep breast feeding. She is an amazing baby and is obviously getting enough and she's so content. They weighed her today and she's put in 2oz in two days so they're not concerned about her weight.  But I don't know how to get to that point without all this upset in between. DH is being amazing and is pretty much doing everything to let me concentrate on feeding.

Help!!

[zissi]

many hugs for your, its so tough when there is so much pain (been there) and those tears... have you seen a LC at all? if not do get one come to your house asap and let her check for Tongue tie. Im not an expert but it really sounds like it. TBH pain to that level is not normal not even in the early days of BF, there is always an underlying issue, be it thrush or tongue tie. and you have breastfed before, so you know what to expect. if you want to keep going, see a LC. thats the best advice I can give you. and ask before she comes out if she has experience with tongue tie. hope things get sorted very soon!!!

[Shiv52]

She's been checked for tongue tie and there is no issue. The issue is most definitely the thrush.

[zissi]

checked by the midwife or a LC? I don't want to be negative but I had 4 midwives telling me that there wasn't a tongue tie. thrush most certainly can cause horrendous pain too, so hopefully things will get better soon with the meds. if not, try also the APNO cream (google jack newman).

[C&B&E]

Hugs, thrush is awful. The breastfeeding network do an excellent pdf info sheet about thrush. I can't link on my phone, but it is definitely worth googling it. Probiotics are really important, and I would wash my nipples in vinegar after a feed, then rinse off before applying the thrush cream. You may well need a decent dose of flucanazole to get rid of it... Often the creams aren't enough as the thrush is systemic  .  I would take a painkiller half an hour before feeding, and sometimes put I've on my nipples to numb them. Treating the thrush aggressively is the way forward....i had it for almost two months because the first gp I saw refused to give me flucanazole. The breastfeeding network leaflet is written to show to heath professionals should you need ' back up'.

I agree with getting rechecked for tongue tie....6 midwives told me that dd didn't have one, but a lactation consultant spotted it straight away.

[weaver]

Shiv, if you have any qus about the meds you've been given you can email the bfing specialist pharmacist at the breastfeeding network. She know an immense amount about thrush, and she might be able to tell you approximately how long it might take. Also, I know I've heard about loading doses of Fluconaze (sp?) whiçh might help it kick in faster. She might also have good advice on painkillers. You can help your system by cutting out processed sugar and eating live yoghurt. The tell tale sign of thrush in a small baby is white spots or patches inside the mouth which cannot be brushed off.  Thrush can definitely be incredibly painful (been there).

I am so sorry for the pain. Maybe if you knew it would start to feel better in a day or two it would help. You're amazing, and baby is clearly thriving already. (((Hugs)))

Posted with Claire.

[Roseii]

Oh Hun my toes are curling reading this I think trying to feed but expressing if it's impossible and giving her the bottle is the way forward for the next couple of days. You wont wreck your chances of BF if you do that for a couple of days. Dont kill yourself over this. Happy mummy = happy baby.
Lots of love, hang in there xxxxxxxxxxx

[Shiv52]

I got fluconazole and they did prescribe a loading dose so 200mg twice on the first day then 100mg the next days. I also got cream and got gel for the baby.  And painkillers to be taking regularly. 

Just fed up

[Roseii]

I'm not surprised Hun, I hope they take effect v v quickly xxx

[weaver]

I don't doubt it lovey, it is cr@p in a really major way. From what you say about the prescription tho if sounds like they really know what they're doing. Hopefully this is the start of recovery and you'll be much better very very soon.  Healing vibes ~~~~