Author Topic: 3 month old fussy feeder, don't want to give up  (Read 3249 times)

0 Members and 1 Guest are viewing this topic.

Offline brummum

  • Resident BW Chatterbox!
  • *****
  • Showing Appreciation 56
  • Posts: 1586
  • Location:
3 month old fussy feeder, don't want to give up
« on: April 15, 2016, 18:51:54 pm »
Hi all, I could really do with some encouragement. I only managed to breast feed my eldest for around 4 months and really wanted to do it for longer this time round. But my second is 3 months and I'm holding on by a thread. he has reflux which is controlled with ranitidine and has been a fussy feeder (on off on off, crying on breast, arching back etc) since about 6 weeks. He's improved a lot with the meds (more settled, can tolerate lying flat etc..) but feeding has not improved. He is 75th centriole and following curve so is obviously getting what he needs but most feeds feel like a battle and it's getting me down. They are also getting shorter and shorter. A 'good' feed now is 5mins. The exception is at night when he will do longer calmer feeds of around 15mins because he is drowsy. I'm not sure if I'm looking for advice (happy for you to give it though!) or just encouragement to stick with it or even just reassurance that other people have had/are having a similar experience... I basically just really want to continue breast feeding but am getting tired of it feeling like a battle the whole time.

Offline trimbler

  • Resident BW Chatterbox!
  • *****
  • Showing Appreciation 37
  • Posts: 3029
  • Location: London, UK
Re: 3 month old fussy feeder, don't want to give up
« Reply #1 on: April 15, 2016, 19:16:38 pm »
Hey there, so sorry I don't have much time to reply now but dropping off (((hugs))) and btdt with that kind of feeding behaviour. I do wonder whether the reflux is adequately medicated? Is he screaming whilst feeding, or just very distracted, or falling asleep/tired? One thing I found really helpful with DS, who was undoubtedly reflux but I didn't have the confidence to push for him at the time :-\ was feeding in a more upright position - it really did help him, have you tried that?



Offline brummum

  • Resident BW Chatterbox!
  • *****
  • Showing Appreciation 56
  • Posts: 1586
  • Location:
Re: 3 month old fussy feeder, don't want to give up
« Reply #2 on: April 15, 2016, 19:32:35 pm »
Hi, thanks for your reply. I'm pretty sure the reflux is adequately controlled. In all other respects he is symptom free. I have tried most positions including more upright ones but it doesn't appear to make a difference. He has had periods of screaming but most of the time now it's more like frustrated crying with lots of kicking and fidgeting. He feeds better when tired/drowsy but have been trying to avoid making use of that so that I don't create a feed to sleep prop. I do think there's the added difficulty of being distracted now that he is becoming more interested in the world around him but this behaviour has been going on a while. Also trying to limit distractions etc.. Is difficult with a 4 yr old running around!

Offline *Ali*

  • Breast Feeding & Pregnancy/Childbirth
  • Moderator
  • Resident BW Chatterbox!
  • *****
  • Showing Appreciation 373
  • Gender: Female
  • Posts: 22302
  • Caught in the act!
  • Location: London uk
Re: 3 month old fussy feeder, don't want to give up
« Reply #3 on: April 15, 2016, 22:24:32 pm »
I found feeding improved constantly over the first 6mo the so it should just keep getting easier if you can  stick at it. Hugs.
Cadan Dec 2009 and Colby Aug 2011


Offline trimbler

  • Resident BW Chatterbox!
  • *****
  • Showing Appreciation 37
  • Posts: 3029
  • Location: London, UK
Re: 3 month old fussy feeder, don't want to give up
« Reply #4 on: April 16, 2016, 18:55:06 pm »
Yes it's hard when they're distracted! With the feeds getting shorter, it's possible that he may just be getting more efficient - do you think he might be? Also, it's possible that he may not need feeding quite as frequently as he used to - some LOs will move towards a 4 hourly feeding routine by 4mo, however others don't ever manage that stretch during the day so I'm not saying you should push him, just that you may find if you feed him a little later after his previous feed then he may be hungrier and more willing to feed? Mine responded quite well to singing whilst feeding, it sometimes calmed them down - or fiddling with a necklace or something.



Offline michaeljacknnugg

  • Resident BW Chatterbox!
  • *****
  • Showing Appreciation 214
  • Gender: Female
  • Posts: 13362
  • New life
  • Location: UK
Re: 3 month old fussy feeder, don't want to give up
« Reply #5 on: April 17, 2016, 08:47:23 am »
A five minute feed may well be all he needs as they get amazingly efficient very quickly. My baby will mess around feeding if he's not really hungry enough.

Teething/feeding jewellery is rather nice! Plus an instant toy that you don't have to remember...!
My 'little man' - kind-hearted Spirited whirlwind, 2008
My love, my everything - BabyTwo, Nov 2015

Offline Scottishmummy

  • Resident BW Chatterbox!
  • *****
  • Showing Appreciation 47
  • Posts: 1588
  • Location: UK
Re: 3 month old fussy feeder, don't want to give up
« Reply #6 on: April 17, 2016, 09:50:05 am »
From about 4mo I needed to reduce distractions in the room when feeding. Not easy with a second child. I either use a feeding cover or go into a quiet dark room if I can occupy my 3yo with something else for 15 mins (usually screen time- not great parenting but it works!)
"Touchy/Spirited" DS


"Textbook" DD



Offline brummum

  • Resident BW Chatterbox!
  • *****
  • Showing Appreciation 56
  • Posts: 1586
  • Location:
Re: 3 month old fussy feeder, don't want to give up
« Reply #7 on: April 17, 2016, 18:55:58 pm »
Hi all, thanks for your thoughts. The last couple of days I have stretched out time between feeds to 3:15-3:30 depending on cues, I think I had fallen into the trap of him not taking a good feed so offering sooner thinking he must be hungry but then he isn't so fusses etc.. and it becomes a cycle. Definatelty has taken longer feeds with less messing around. Could just be coincidence but hopefully not! So thank you for pointing me in that direction. I was actually looking at teething/nursing jewellery earlier, some really nice ones out there so defiantly going to treat myself (or him?!)!

Offline *Ali*

  • Breast Feeding & Pregnancy/Childbirth
  • Moderator
  • Resident BW Chatterbox!
  • *****
  • Showing Appreciation 373
  • Gender: Female
  • Posts: 22302
  • Caught in the act!
  • Location: London uk
Re: 3 month old fussy feeder, don't want to give up
« Reply #8 on: April 17, 2016, 19:06:11 pm »
Treat both of you :)
Cadan Dec 2009 and Colby Aug 2011


Offline trimbler

  • Resident BW Chatterbox!
  • *****
  • Showing Appreciation 37
  • Posts: 3029
  • Location: London, UK
Re: 3 month old fussy feeder, don't want to give up
« Reply #9 on: April 17, 2016, 19:28:36 pm »
Brilliant, sounds great :D



Offline zissi

  • BW Devotee
  • ****
  • Showing Appreciation 0
  • Gender: Female
  • Posts: 251
  • Location: Ireland
Re: 3 month old fussy feeder, don't want to give up
« Reply #10 on: April 17, 2016, 19:43:41 pm »
hi there, has your LO ever been checked for tongue tie? mine was a fussy feeder and had TT, feeds became shorter and shorter and she got frustrated at the breast as she couldn't get at the milk after the initial letdown. similar behaviour. why did you have to give up feeding your first? hope things will improve. it did for us around 5 months...
Franziska

Offline brummum

  • Resident BW Chatterbox!
  • *****
  • Showing Appreciation 56
  • Posts: 1586
  • Location:
Re: 3 month old fussy feeder, don't want to give up
« Reply #11 on: April 18, 2016, 19:46:45 pm »
Hey, yeah we got that checked as my first had a tongue tie that was picked up early and sorted out so we were on the look out! I gave up for exactly the reasons I'm struggling now because he was a fussy feeder and frequent night waker, I was getting stressed and I thought formula/bottles might help things (because everyone told me it would and I was naive!). It's something I regret and beat myself up about and the main reason I really want to do longer this time.

Offline zissi

  • BW Devotee
  • ****
  • Showing Appreciation 0
  • Gender: Female
  • Posts: 251
  • Location: Ireland
Re: 3 month old fussy feeder, don't want to give up
« Reply #12 on: April 19, 2016, 19:55:58 pm »
and were you told with your second that he wasn't tongue tied? only an IBCLC can make this assessment. It sounds like he is and if it were me I would get it treated asap so that feeding can improve. we also went to see an osteopath after the release because at this stage LO learned to drink the wrong way. it takes some time for them to use their tongue properly. don't beat yourself up over feeding your first less time than you wanted. you were misinformed and let down by others. hopefully things will improve soon!
Franziska

Offline brummum

  • Resident BW Chatterbox!
  • *****
  • Showing Appreciation 56
  • Posts: 1586
  • Location:
Re: 3 month old fussy feeder, don't want to give up
« Reply #13 on: April 21, 2016, 08:52:58 am »
GP had a look and doesn't think he has one. What's an IBCLC? He can stick his tongue out which my eldest couldn't and I can't see an obvious tongue  tie so I don't think he has one? The nurses at the breast feeding clinic basically said that they think he's just a fussy feeder and some babies are like that. Didn't really have any further advice or suggestions.

Offline zissi

  • BW Devotee
  • ****
  • Showing Appreciation 0
  • Gender: Female
  • Posts: 251
  • Location: Ireland
Re: 3 month old fussy feeder, don't want to give up
« Reply #14 on: April 21, 2016, 09:32:42 am »
GP's often have no clue about BF. it's a lactation consultant, they are the only ones that can reliably assess if baby has a tongue tie or not. both of mine could stick out their tongues too but still had a tie. its more a range of movements they need to do in order to BF properly. maybe google IBCLC in your area and make an appointment?
Franziska

Offline weaver

  • Resident BW Chatterbox!
  • *****
  • Showing Appreciation 210
  • Gender: Female
  • Posts: 10146
  • May your choices reflect your hopes not your fears
  • Location:
Re: 3 month old fussy feeder, don't want to give up
« Reply #15 on: April 21, 2016, 09:37:54 am »
This link might help.  It is VERY true that often GPs and other non specialists are very free in saying there is no tongue tie. 'some babies are just like that' is an absolute classic fob off. If you're concerned it will probably be worth at least chatting to someone.
http://www.lcgb.org/find-an-ibclc/
*Anne*, loving mama to a honeybee (2010) and a sweetpea (2012).  BF for 4 proud years.


Offline brummum

  • Resident BW Chatterbox!
  • *****
  • Showing Appreciation 56
  • Posts: 1586
  • Location:
Re: 3 month old fussy feeder, don't want to give up
« Reply #16 on: April 22, 2016, 14:40:03 pm »
Thanks both, there appears to be someone local so will look into it.