Hand Holding for Night Weaning?

[JennVanessa1083]

Hello!!

I'm back again with questions around weaning as my DS just turned 11 months and I would like to wean completely by one year.  Here is the situation:

So DS started self-weaning NF before he started a horrible teething process for his lateral incisors and possible canines (DH says he sees white spots there; but I'm hoping that it not them as well). Anyways he is back to two NF. He is such a slow teether and has been at it with these current teeth for about two weeks but it has definitely gotten worse. We went on a trip recently so he's also been more clingy too; not sure if its being away and his routine is out of sorts a bit or the teething worsening or a perfect storm of the two 

So I'm wondering if I should just start the Night weaning process before cutting out day feeds? What's a good approach to wean at night given the fact that he is teething and that I want to wean completely by next month?

I will admit that I a nervous about the process and most likely need hand holding to not cave in lol

Thank you so much!

[*Ali*]

I'd give meds so you can be sure he isn't in pain and then soothe him back to sleep how you would for naps or bedtime if he fussed.

Is he taking a good amount of solids? I'd try to up the calories from those to make up for the missed NFs.

Hugs. It's hard.

[JennVanessa1083]

Hi Ali!
Thanks for responding! So I do give meds before bed but he still tosses and turns while whimpering in his sleep. They are definitely ready to cut any day now. He seems to be uncomfortable all day tugging on his hair or ear and biting everything hard even me!

Should I still move forward with night weaning? I know part of the nursing at night is comfort and maybe hunger. He does take full feeds each time. I was reading an article about small to average milk capacity mothers (which I am) where they tend to produce around 3 ounces each breast and therefore their babies may need NF longer than others. How do I know if DS is ready for night weaning?

How much solids should I give him? He eats about 4-6 ounces of food each meal. Is that enough calories? What can I give more of to make up for the loss of NF?

[*Ali*]

At this age I would just give solids until he seems full and refuses more. Concentrate on good fats and proteins to increase the calories with lots of veg and fruit for vitamins and fibre. I offer 3 main meals plus 2 snacks and let him guide you on amounts. You could also offer milk in a cup alongside the solids when he turns 12mo.

If you think the end is in sight re the teething then I'd hold of until then if you are happy to.

If he's taking a full feed at night then he could well need it still. If he's just suckling to get back to sleep then it is probably for comfort so it's up to you if you want to wean it. What about limiting the time you allow him to feed to start with rather than dropping the night feeds altogether?

[JennVanessa1083]

That makes sense. I try to incorporate a protein, fat and veggies as well as fruit in ever meal. What are some good sources of good fats? I give him avocado, cheese, nut butter here and there.

Do you think I should start with eliminating a day feed and replacing it with a snack? Then offer BM in a cup with solids? My fear is increasing night feeds by eliminating a day feed.

He drains both breasts at each feeding at night but I wonder if maybe he's not getting enough milk during the day bc of solids. Is that possible at his age?

As for limiting nursing, I'm not sure how to do that when he fusses if I dare only offer one breast at night.

He does look like he's about to cut teeth any day now but he's also a slow teether.

The hope is to wean him to cows milk completely by around 12 months.

[ginger428]

Hi,
What meds are you using for teeth? Ibuprofen?

It is completely your decision and whichever you feel most comfortable with, to either wean now or later, but I do think the NFs are interfering with self settling for naps, and also partly causing NWs. Like Ali said, if he's close to cutting the teeth, then hold off and just hang on with day-time routine, but we may not be able to stabilize all the craziness with 2-1 before then.

I agree with Ali that you can start the weaning now despite the teething, by reducing to one breast. If you go this route, be confident that it won't be long (about 3-5 nights) before he gets used to the reduction and make up for it during the day, but be consistent and do it at EVERY NF. Did I send you the links to the weaning articles? What do you think about this? Even if it does take 1-2 hrs, don't offer the other breast. Comfort in other ways.

For day feed... I would feed a small snack, then nurse as a top up. Other good fats- olive oil, ex. drizzled on sweet potato and baked, on zuccini and sauted until soft. Avocado is awesome. smear it on toast.

We are here and happy to hold your hand and send hugs, as much as needed.

I'm going to copy this link to your nap thread with a couple questions. XO

[JennVanessa1083]

Hi Ginger! Thank you for the support. I will really need it as he is a baby who is very vocal about what he wants.

I am going to give another day or two then if the teeth don't cut then I will move forward with night weaning. In the meantime, I am trying to bulk up the solids in the day but I like the idea of a snack and BF after naps; hopefully it will help at night.

[*Ali*]

I would cut the night feeds before the day feeds personally. Then you'll know where you are with day feeds and can switch them out accordingly

All those fats sound good.  Using coconut oil to cook food is good or olive oil is good for drizzling/flavour. Meat and oily fish and dairy are also good. As long as it isn't sugary or salty food it should be fine.

Is the 12mo deadline for weaning just an age you have decided on or is it limited by your return to work for example? In the UK we are recommended not to give cows milk until 12mo so we wouldn't usually advise swapping any BFs for cows milk before that. It can take quite a while to wean without lots of tears when it is motherled rather than the child losing interest so I wouldn't put any arbitrary deadlines in place if you can at all avoid it.

Also cows milk is just a drink so you want to replace the BFs with mostly solid food rather than cows milk.I'd aim for 3 portions of dairy a day but that includes all butter, yogurt and cheese too as well as any milk on cereal or in sauces or milky puddings. Too much cows milk can stop LO eating the right balance of nutrients from other foods because unlike breastmilk, cows milk does not have the correct balance to be a complete food.

Good luck.

[JennVanessa1083]

Hi Ali!

Thank you for the advice! I don't have to go back to work so I don't mind doing a gradual wean. I prefer him to wean himself by around 12-13 months in an ideal world but it doesn't look like that is going to happen. I would like to get down to two day feeds around his first birthday since here in the US we are recommended not to give cows milk until they are a year old.

I'm assuming you replace the wake up feed and bedtime feed with cows milk? Or do you give cows milk with breakfast right when they wake up. I probably do about 1-2 servings of dairy a day. Should I start to increase? Or is the increase to 3 servings a day after a year?

I just started giving snack after a BF today. I'm going to do that for a couple of days then start putting the BM in a cup to get him used to drinking milk in a cup.

I agree with doing night weaning before cutting out day feeds bc I don't want to increase NF by cutting out day feeds.

It's amazing how much I am learning as a first time mom. I have SO many questions about this lol

[*Ali*]

The 3 portions is for after weaning all the BFs so I'm guessing that will naturally increase as you make the switch 

I'd go straight to a solids breakfast with, for example, either milk on cereal, a yogurt or a small (4-5oz max) cup of milk with whatever he is eating. Most people give the actual milk at BT and perhaps with one other meal and the rest of the dairy would be made up of the solid options. You can do whatever works for your really. What you don't want though is to be giving 3x 8oz cups of milk which don't leave him hungry for real food.

[JennVanessa1083]

Ahhhh I see! If DS drinks milk for breakfast and dinner or bedtime, is it 4-5oz each time?

[*Ali*]

You can see how much he wants but I wouldn't give more than that

[JennVanessa1083]

Ok thank you'd or the information Ali!

So I have been working on night weaning with little success. I wanted to ask if gradually pushing back the time he feeds at night is gradual enough to wean? I was thinking of starting at 6 hours after BT would be my mark where I would feed. If he wakes anytime before then either me or DH will help him settle. My question is how many days do I keep this up before expanding it to another hour? Would every 3 days be too fast? I want to be as gentle as possible. My goal is to consolidate both feeds then move it out until WU.

[*Ali*]

Yes every 3 days sounds reasonable.

[JennVanessa1083]

Ok great!