Weaning 14 month old from bedtime nursing...advice please

[mommykay410]

My daughter just turned 14 months and has been down to just the bedtime feed for a little over a month now.  She drinks whole milk from a straw cup throughout the rest of the day,  but I have been waiting to wean from the last feed until now since I am done work for the summer.  I am looking for some advice though for how to go about this.  Her current bedtime routine is bath, story with daddy, nurse in rocking chair, then lay down in crib.  The problem here is that ever since she has dropped to one nap she ends up falling asleep while she is nursing and takes over 40 minutes for her to finish nursing and burp, which means she isn't going down awake and falling asleep on her own at night anymore.  She does for naps though, so I know that she can.  Tonight I tried to rearrange her bedtime routine so that I nursed her first downstairs, then gave her a bath, had dad read a story, and then I took her in our room to rock her for a bit.  But as soon as I sat in the rocking chair and didn't nurse her she started crying, and when I tried to just take her into her room to lay her down then she just got more upset, so I ended up nursing her again in the rocking chair like I always do, which took double the amount of time it normally does.  I do not want this to be a traumatizing process for either of us, but I would like her to be completely weaned at the very latest by the end of the summer, but preferably sooner. What would be the most gradual way that I could wean this feeding so that she doesn't get so upset before bed?

[cath~]

One idea might be (as a first step) to start your whole BT routine a little earlier, so she doesn't nod off whilst nursing, and switch the order of the nursing and the story.  So you'd do, bath, nurse (hope she doesn't fall asleep), story, then bed.  You could make the story bit longer if it was too early.

Once she's happy with that and is used to not nodding off whilst nursing (has she been doing that for long?  don't know when she dropped her nap..) you could switch the BF to milk in a straw cup. 
After that you might want to try doing the milk before bath (e.g. downstairs) if that's easier/better for you.

Alternatively, you could keep the same BT routine but go straight for switching from the BF to milk in a straw cup.

[mommykay410]

Hi Cath,

Thank you for your reply.  She has been on one nap for about 2 1/2 months now, so she has pretty much been falling asleep while nursing since then other than a few random times.  There have been times when I took her up early to start getting ready for bed and she just ends up falling asleep earlier and waking up super early the next morning then, which throws off her whole day.  But those days were mostly because she had a short or early nap so she was tired much earlier.  I can try taking her up early for bath and hope that she doesn't fall asleep while nursing and then doing story after.  I wish I could go straight to milk in the cup instead of nursing but I know she will resist and just push the cup away and get upset until I nurse her.  I definitely think this needs to be a gradual process with her.

[cath~]

Sounds like switching your routine gradually might be the way to go then. 

I'd work on trying to insert something (story or just sing a lullaby perhaps) between the BF and lying her down in her cot, to lessen the association between the BF and going to bed.  Once that association is broken then I think it would be easier to move the BF earlier and/or (then) switch it to cows milk.

It will probably get easier as she gets older too, and is less likely to nod off whilst BFing!

Keep us posted

[mommykay410]

Well the weaning part actually went quicker than I thought it would!  On Friday I took her sippy of milk upstairs with us and she drank it while rocking in the chair and reading books.  I nursed her a few minutes on each side but she was awake and distracted enough that she pulled off when she heard her cup drop to the floor.  So I got her up, she laid her head on my shoulder and I took her into her room to lay her down and she was asleep about 15 minutes later.  Saturday night I just gave her the sippy of milk then since she seemed to do ok with it the previous night, so no BF.  She did cry when I laid her down so I held her and then patted her for a little and she fell asleep. Sunday night was a disaster but I'm thinking that was just because we were away so she only had 2 half hour naps in the car, so major OT.  I laid her down at 7:45 and she was crying so I went up to pat her and ended up holding her and patting for 2 hours, at which point she was so worked up that I gave in and nursed her just to calm her down.  So she didn't go to sleep til 10:30 that night   Last night I didn't nurse her again, but ended up having to pat her for about 45 minutes before she fell asleep.  I think she doesn't relax enough while drinking her sippy of milk like she does while nursing, so she is still too awake when I lay her in her crib that she can't fall asleep easily.  As long as I am patting her she is fine and talking to herself while laying down, but as soon as I stop patting and try to just stand there, or heaven forbid walk out of the room, she starts crying.  I'm hoping this is just part of the adjustment process due to no longer nursing, and that it resolves soon!

[cath~]

Sounds like you've made a great start. Great that she's happy for you to pat her instead. And the good thing about helping her that way is that you can wean it gradually and gently, ie gradually do less and less of it, lighter and lighter, for ezample, at a pace you're both happy with.