I want to share our experience in case that it can be helpful to other mums.
WHY we did it: First of all, I want to highlight that the main reason for eliminating the night feeds was because I desperately needed some rest and, in order to do so, it was necessary to share the NWs with my dear husband. In addition, helping your baby to calm down without eating (BF or FF) is a step forward, because when your baby is ready to sleep through the night his/her stomach will not tell him/her otherwise.
Furthermore, I took my DS to 2 different pediatricians that based on his age 9 months and weight 10 kg, re-assured me that he was biologically ready for staying the whole night without eating. I wanted to continue breastfeeding during the day so I investigated and obtained confirmation that you can wean your baby for the night feeds and still continue successfully breastfeeding, specially after the first 6 months when the lactancy is well established.
WHEN we did it: I was postponing it since my DS had a cold, then he had teething coming and... there was always something going on. I reached a certain point that not having a decent sleep caused that my immune system started failing, so I was constantly getting ill. If you are not feeling well and you have to get up a number of nights non-stop, you end up feeling miserable and a worse mum. By the other hand I was fearing to cause crying and a number of terrible nights for my DS. I imagined him starving... I feared that he had "learn" hunger so his body was counting on the night calories.... But thanks to my husband, we took courage and we did it. He told me that during the weekend he would sleep in the same room than our DS and that he would sooth him without feeding him. He would sleep in the same room, and I would close our bedroom door, to minimize the noise and to ensure that I could get some rest.
HOW we did it: We followed our standard BT routine that ends when I breastfeed DS and placed him in the crib almost asleep. However, every time my DS woke up, my DH next to him, held his hands and gave him the pacifier. In some occasions just saying shhh, was sufficient. Sometimes he placed our DS on his side by the wall of the crib and tried to block his arms and feet so the baby relaxed. Also once the baby was getting more nervous he took him in his arms in horizontal position, placed the pacifier and sat down (without rocking) in a chair until the baby almost fell asleep. Once he was there he carefully placed back DS into the crib. This happened the two nights during the weekend. The baby woke up as many times as previously and perhaps took longer to get back to sleep but no drama or crying or fighting took place. My fear was that DS was going to get mad with my DH since in other occasions when he had gone to sooth him in the night it had not worked. Also, when we eliminated the night feeds for DS1 with 18 months, we had a terrible week of screaming "my milk!!!!". Nothing like this happened.
We agreed that from 6.00 am onwards I would breastfeed him since from 7:30 pm that was a large stretch. Besides, because from 6.00 to 7.00 am is the standard time when I nurse him before going to work, so it is his Breakfast.
By the way, both days, since I was "used to" nurse him even 5 times a night, before I went to bed I express 150 ml o milk in order to leave my breasts empty and I had no issues with engorgement.
Last night I did take care of the NWs. I slept in my bed and only went to my DS's room when he cried/fussed. This was the first time for me of not nursing at all but soothing DS. I had the confidence of knowing that he was able to stay without eating however I feared that he would associate me with the milk. I wore clean pajamas and a clean night bra in order to try not to smell like milk. He woke up at 12, after trying to calm him in the crib unsuccessfully I took him on my arms with the pacifier on and sat down on the chair until he relaxed. In 20 minutes he was sleeping again. He woke up at 2.30 and then at 6.00. These NWs were not more often than before (we were having 5/6 times) although DS took longer to get back to sleep. Tonight it will be my DH turn, and I will let you know how it goes.
I have to highlight that in parallel we are addressing the NWs, changing my DS routines, and following the very helpful advice from lots of wonderful moms from this site. We know it will take some time. However I have no words to express how wonderful is to be able to rest some nights, specially seeing that it is not causing a negative impact (no drama, no fighting....) in our very loved son. It seems that he is eating sufficiently during the day.
I just wanted to let you know that it is possible - you can do it if you want- and that it is actually easier that what we expected. Perhaps it is an advantage that he is only 9 months?.
