Author Topic: 14 month and night wakings - confused!  (Read 1774 times)

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Offline tathi-b

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14 month and night wakings - confused!
« on: January 30, 2017, 12:30:39 pm »
Hello!

I'm here again... OMG, each developmental stage is a new challenge!  I'm feeling much more confident than I was the last time I posted but still confused and now I've run out of options.

My little girl is 14 months tomorrow and has been waking up in the night for a little while now - it feels like an eternity but the poor child has been through a lot over the past 6 months!  Moving from our house into a serviced apartment for several weeks and then to the new house in a new country, colds, holidays, molars, vaccines, it's not easy being a toddler sometimes!  She walks since she was 10 months and is trying to talk.  She babbles all day and is incredibly active.  Sitting down is not something she does; if she is awake, she is on the move.

She has been an independent sleeper from birth pretty much and slept through the night from 9 weeks.  When I say through the night I mean, through the night, from 7pm to 7am.  The first time it happened I woke her up I was so worried! Dreamfeeds worked for her and she just stopped waking at 3am.  Generally speaking, if my daughter wakes up in the night, there is something bothering her.  And I've been basing my assumptions on that but I can't figure out what is bothering her and why, oh why, she won't let me leave the room!

A couple of weeks ago she started screaming in her sleep and waking up screaming, very upset and it would take me hours to settle her.  A couple of times I fed her in the night because she had been crying for so long I din't know what else to do.  She'd scream, fight me and scream some more.  I medicated her - pain? - and she would continue screaming for a good half hour before the medicine would knock her out.  Problem is that I don't know what hurts so much!

Things have calmed down a little but we seem to be in a pattern of tears around 11pm and only really settling back into deep sleep around 1am.  Mummy is a very tired mummy at the minute.  I've wondered if she perhaps hasn't learned to wake at 11pm, so I waited by her door last night and the minute she stirred I was in there and soothed her back to sleep.  Dummy, lovey, deep breathing.  She hadn't woken up.  20 minutes later she was crying again.  Not really awake but clearly in discomfort.  For no reason other than I have already tried everything else I massaged her legs and her feet and she stopped crying and fell back to sleep.  Here is where it gets interesting, when I take my hand off her, the complaining restarts and when I let her complain a little longer to see if she will settle herself she wakes up and we start the whole cycle again.  I feel trapped ladies, I really do.  This is no fun for me or her and I don't know how to help her.  I also don't want to sit on the floor by her cot all night with my hand on her.  I've considered making a little glove with something heavy inside it to see if it will trick her!

I'm going back to work in a month and I need some help to break this pattern.  I also don't want her to depend on me to fall asleep. 

We have a child minder who has been putting her down for naps and bedtime because this behavior has now trickled into all other sleep times but I'm wondering if I'm causing more harm than good?

To add to everything she is now waking at 5:30/ 6am...

Her EASY over the past few days looks like this

Wake up 5:30 (stay in cot with mummy with her hand on me)
6:30 milk (by then she is ravenous!)
8:30 breakfast
11:30 lunch
12:30 nap
2:30 wake up on her own
5:30 dinner
7pm bed

During the day she has been fine.  In a good mood and active.

Could this be growing pains settling in so young?  My step son suffered from growing pains a lot.  Is it the molars that are taking ages to come through?  Is it separation anxiety - despite the rest of the day he being fine with going and doing her own stuff away from me with some rare exceptions?

Any insight and ideas will be greatly appreciated! xx

Offline Haribo2012

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Re: 14 month and night wakings - confused!
« Reply #1 on: January 31, 2017, 07:30:06 am »
Hi there it's tough isn't it when you just don't know what's the matter.

Have you tried walk in walk out with her being a previous good independent sleeper? I find with with DS2 the longer I'm in the room the longer he takes to go back to sleep. You could always try wake 2 sleep if she wakes at same time every night?
 How long after pain meds does she take to fall asleep?

With DS1 our worst sleep was around this age and I put it down to the canines or molars (can't remember which now) x
Zoe


Offline tathi-b

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Re: 14 month and night wakings - confused!
« Reply #2 on: January 31, 2017, 07:41:26 am »
Hi there,

I think that it's the not knowing what is happening that is driving me insane!  I've tried walking in and out but by the time I make it back to my bed she is up again and crying.  Last night after an hour or so sat on the floor with my hand on her I caved and tried to pick her up.  OMG was that a mistake!  She cried hard, fought me, kicking the chair we have in her room.  She clearly wants to stay in her bed and wants me to have my hand on her - the whole night!  Not happening!  I am wondering if it's a mixture of things?  The teeth wake her up and she could be hungry (unusual at this age but could be happening?).  I might try a dream feed tonight and see how we get on?  I guess that weaning her off a dreamfeed will be easier than weaning her off a bad sleep association?  What do you think?

She definitely has 2 molars coming through and a canine starting to show signs of pushing through as well.  About a 1/2 hour after medicating she is out like a light.  But I'm worried about medicating her too much?

I'm tired, really tired and I have to say that I'm not reacting well to this anymore.  I'm usually very patient with her, and I understand that she isn't doing this on purpose but I hate night time now and I dread it when I hear her cry. 

I tried wake to sleep but that only pushed her a little later to 2am.

I feel like I'm ruining her sleep. :(

Offline Haribo2012

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Re: 14 month and night wakings - confused!
« Reply #3 on: January 31, 2017, 16:23:15 pm »
I'd go with the teeth causing the wake ups, canines were horrid for us. Honestly I'd medicate at BT and NW, if you don't like to can you try the teething powders or ambusol liquid?

I'm not sure she would be hungry at this age but you could try some supper rather than a DF?

You aren't ruining her sleep Hun you can only provide the option for sleep and if they can't/won't sleep then you can only try your best.  It will pass honestly  :)
Zoe