Author Topic: Feeding every hour and sleeping on me  (Read 560 times)

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Offline HelenFisher

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Feeding every hour and sleeping on me
« on: February 21, 2017, 20:23:51 pm »
Hi - my LO is now 8 weeks and has a wonderful morning and evening routine but her daytime feeding and sleeping is all over the place. She feeds when she wakes up, has an hour of activity then feeds again before going for a nap. There is generally no set time as it varies so much. Her sleep is very short and broken if I put her in her crib as she often wakes up looking to be pacified by me. But if she sleeps on me or I take her out for a walk, she'll sleep for a full hour.

My other half is finding this very frustrating as he can't put her down for a nap and more recently she now won't take a bottle so he can't feed her.

Any advice on where I should start?

Offline *Ali*

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Re: Feeding every hour and sleeping on me
« Reply #1 on: February 22, 2017, 23:33:51 pm »
Here's a useful FAQ on getting started. Getting started - how I survived the first 3 months

It's really normal for a baby this age to need lots of help to sleep. There will be plenty of other things your DH can do for her like play when awake, change her nappy and dress her, give a bath etc. Maybe some of those things can be his job?
If you want her to take a bottle then I'd offer a bottle each day but not for too long if she isn't taking it. She will eventually I bet . Here's another faq Breastfed babies and bottles



Offline zissi

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Re: Feeding every hour and sleeping on me
« Reply #2 on: March 01, 2017, 21:20:59 pm »
a lot of babies that young want to be held and not put down. both of mine practically lived in the sling in the first few months of their life. have you tried a sling? or else enjoy some movies on the couch and let her sleep on you (unless you have other commitments but housework doesn't count, your husband could be taking on that role  ;)
Franziska

Offline HelenFisher

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Re: Feeding every hour and sleeping on me
« Reply #3 on: March 06, 2017, 17:19:43 pm »
Thanks again for the advice and useful links. LO now feeds for under 30 mins when she wakes up, has 30 mins of activity then goes to sleep for an hour.  Sometimes with or without a mini moan. So she is on a two hour schedule and we've managed to eliminate the need to be soothed to sleep during the day. We still soothe to sleep at night when she's cluster feeding but that's okay, it's our time!

Still not taking a bottle, have tried three teats but were giving it a break for a week and will try again.
Has become too stressful. I don't agree with Tracey's suggestion of offering bottle and no breast until baby cracks! It seems really cruel.

One last question... where to from here. Is LO likely to extend her naps by herself or awake time? Do I extend her awake time?  Thanks
X


Offline *Ali*

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Re: Feeding every hour and sleeping on me
« Reply #4 on: March 06, 2017, 23:15:17 pm »
No, that method of forcing the bottle is outdated now and we definitely do not recommend withholding the boob! We like to think Tracy would have updated her advice in this area had she still been around to do so.

Yes, her awake time will gradually increase and hopefully her naps too. By 12wks the average A time is 1hr20-30 minutes (including feeding). Keep an eye on her sleep cues and if she isn't tired at her usual time just wait 5-10 minutes and she probably will be.
« Last Edit: March 07, 2017, 22:59:11 pm by *Ali* »



Offline HelenFisher

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Re: Feeding every hour and sleeping on me
« Reply #5 on: March 07, 2017, 10:28:31 am »
Super! Feels great once you get the hang of it. Am sure I'll be on here some more over the coming weeks/months but thanks again for the advice. You have no idea how this forum and support has improved my sanity!

X

Offline *Ali*

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Re: Feeding every hour and sleeping on me
« Reply #6 on: March 07, 2017, 22:59:34 pm »
I felt the same when I joined 7yrs ago with my oldest!



Offline HelenFisher

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Re: Feeding every hour and sleeping on me
« Reply #7 on: March 12, 2017, 19:35:37 pm »
Hi Ali
Another question. My LO is on a 2 hour loop throughout the day but when it comes to evening she refuses to nap from about 5pm and goes into a complete meltdown at about 7.30 after her bath when I try to put her to bed. Is it common for 11 week olds to stay awake for 2-3 hours at a time? Should I force the early evening nap. It's upsetting for everyone that she screams and screams each evening.
Thanks

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Re: Feeding every hour and sleeping on me
« Reply #8 on: March 12, 2017, 21:39:34 pm »
It's really common for LOs to have restless hours before bed. It's called the witching hours.

Have you tried extending the awake times earlier in the day?

Do you have a baby carrier you could pop her in for those unsettied hours?



Offline HelenFisher

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Re: Feeding every hour and sleeping on me
« Reply #9 on: March 12, 2017, 22:24:06 pm »
I didn't realise that witching hour could mean baby resisting sleep. Thought it was general fussiness.
I have a sling and took her for a walk in it at 5pm today to try force an afternoon nap as yesterday she was awake from 4.30 to 7.30pm!

It worked, she managed a 30 min nap. but she still stayed up from 5.30pm to 7.45pm and refused to feed or go to sleep.

I'll try extend her awake time by 10 to 15 mins in the mornings and see if that helps. Does that mean she'll be more tired in the afternoon/evening. She generally has an awake time of 1.15 hrs (10min feed / 50 min activity & 15 wind down for sleep) and 45 to 50 min sleep.




Offline *Ali*

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Re: Feeding every hour and sleeping on me
« Reply #10 on: March 13, 2017, 21:24:28 pm »
It will hopefully help to get her on a longer cycle and move the naps she does take later in the day. Ideally 3 naps and a cat nap will work.




Offline HelenFisher

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Re: Feeding every hour and sleeping on me
« Reply #11 on: March 14, 2017, 19:31:29 pm »
Tried extending the awake time today, with varying levels of success.
I did manage to shh her to extend her morning nap but only by 15 mins. The second nap, she slept on me as she kept waking up. The good news is she moved her meltdown to 4pm instead of 7pm.

She feeds every two hours for 10 mins  - I've tried to extend between feeds but she just wakes up. I'm exclusive bf. I've tried to extend the time on. Ready but again, she won't take any more than 10 mins worth.

Below are two days routine... any advice most welcome.

Monday

4.00 feed

7.00 awake & feed (1hr)
8.05 sleep

8.50 awake & feed (1.20hr)
10.10 sleep

11.10 awake & feed (1.10hr)
12.20 sleep

12.50 awake (1.45hr)
14.35 sleep
14.50 awake & back to sleep

15.20 awake & feed
17.15 sleep

17.36 awake & feed
19.25 sleep


Tuesday

4.00 awake and feed

7.15 awake and feed
8.00 feed again
8.20 bed
8.45 asleep (helped sleep another 15 mins with shhh)

9.45 awake & feed
10.45 bed
10.50 sleep

11.35 awake & feed
12.35 bed
13.05 asleep
13.25 awake / pick up sleep on me

14.35 awake & feed
15.20 sleep

16.00 awake & feed
17.55 sleep
18.10 awake

7.00 asleep

11pm dream feed



Offline HelenFisher

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Re: Feeding every hour and sleeping on me
« Reply #12 on: March 15, 2017, 10:12:45 am »
Also, how is it possible to extend awake time with keeping the feeding time 2 hours apart?

Offline *Ali*

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Re: Feeding every hour and sleeping on me
« Reply #13 on: March 15, 2017, 23:19:14 pm »
I think she's in a classic UT/OT cycle.  Her first two A times are so short that she doesn't take a long nap and can only manage a 45 minute single sleep cycles.  She just isn't tired enough when you try to resettle either.  Then because she isn't getting any restorative naps she gets overtired later in the day and takes 30 minute naps or needs help, like holding, to crash out  I'd try to stretch that first A time to at last 1hr20.

You won't be able to stretch A times and feed at the 2hr mark because she'll be asleep. At this age you can just feed on cue, ideally when she wakes.  If you think she is going to be hungry before she can take a good nap then you'd need to top her up before the nap.  If you want to encourage independent sleep you can try to feed a little before the nap and not feed to sleep.  It might be a main feed followed by a top up in each A time.  So it will be more like EAEAS. This is a common pattern for EBF babies



Offline HelenFisher

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Re: Feeding every hour and sleeping on me
« Reply #14 on: March 19, 2017, 18:28:14 pm »
Have been extending the awake times to 1hr25 and feeding more often and the meltdown before daytime naps has stopped, thanks!! Nighttime we still have a bit of a meltdown but not every night, only when we've had a day out and her daytime routine has been stuffed up.

Naps are still 45 to 50 mins though.

😍

Offline *Ali*

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Re: Feeding every hour and sleeping on me
« Reply #15 on: March 20, 2017, 07:07:23 am »
The BT meltdown after a day out will just be OT from the messed up naps. It's just a case of dealing with it with extra comfort really.

You could try extending the first A time by another 5 minutes or so. Have you tried wake to sleep?



Offline HelenFisher

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Re: Feeding every hour and sleeping on me
« Reply #16 on: March 31, 2017, 17:27:36 pm »
Hi - my LO has now extended her awake time to 1.45 to 2 hours and still napping for 45 to 50 mins. Although I think she is trying to extend her midday nap as she has woken up from a 45 min nap, fed and gone back to sleep for another 45 mins two days in a row now.

She feeds when she wakes and before she goes to sleep which is quite a lot.

What should I be aiming for with an EBF at 14 weeks?

Offline deb

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Re: Feeding every hour and sleeping on me
« Reply #17 on: March 31, 2017, 18:35:45 pm »
Knowing that she is waking at the 45-minute mark, can you try to be there when she initially stirs and try to re-settle her before she wakes fully? In our case it was a spit-out pacifier that caused the 45-minute waking, and when I could get there and re-insert it before she even realized it was out, she began sleeping through!

Offline HelenFisher

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Re: Feeding every hour and sleeping on me
« Reply #18 on: April 07, 2017, 21:44:04 pm »
I've tried extending her naps but it's not working I'm afraid. I don't think she is quite ready yet. That said, I have been feeding after she wakes and again before she sleeps. She has now started feeding every hour!! This has been happening for a few weeks. I'm concerned I don't have enough milk for her. She is 6.6kg at 14 weeks and ebf. I expressed this evening and got 75ml after 20 mins which is double the time she feeds for.

How can I work towards getting her to feed for longer and less frequently? Boobs and mama are a bit exhausted.

PS - still won't take a bottle. Tried every day for 3 weeks. Various teats, flows and breastmilk/ formula.

Offline deb

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Re: Feeding every hour and sleeping on me
« Reply #19 on: April 08, 2017, 03:51:57 am »
Around the 3-month mark babe es tend to nurse more efficiently, so they're needing less time to get fed as your flow and their ability to keep up increase. At 14 weeks you might have hit your 3-month growth spurt.

On my ancient Kindle and sleepy but will try to re-read in the morning for more thoughts.

Offline HelenFisher

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Re: Feeding every hour and sleeping on me
« Reply #20 on: April 09, 2017, 11:08:18 am »
Yes, she has always been an efficient feeder. 10 - 15 mins tops. Her naps have reduced from 45 mins to 30 mins and she has been fussing loads when going down for a nap. We tried unsuccessfully for months to introduce a paci. She started fussing before bedtime two days ago so I have her a paci and now she won't nap without it. Concerned I've introduced a sleep association at this late stage?!?!

In addition, she has started jolting awake abut 5 mins into her nap. Is this normal. Has she started the 4 month sleep regression? How can I help her nap better?

Strange that all of a sudden she has become more needy at nap time. Is this common?
« Last Edit: April 09, 2017, 11:17:22 am by HelenFisher »

Offline deb

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Re: Feeding every hour and sleeping on me
« Reply #21 on: April 09, 2017, 12:02:40 pm »
There may be a developmental leap going on if you're also seeing a behavior change.

Can you post what EASY looks like for you right now?

Offline HelenFisher

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Re: Feeding every hour and sleeping on me
« Reply #22 on: April 09, 2017, 19:04:20 pm »
This was today.

Sunday

4.00 feed

7.00 awake & feed
8.00 feed
9.00 sleep

9.35 awake
10.00 feed
11.00 feed & sleep

11.40 awake
13.00 feed
13.10 sleep

14.00 awake & feed
16.10 feed & sleep

17.00 awake
17.30 feed
18.00 bath time
18.30 feed & cuddles
19.00 asleep in bed

11.00 feed

Offline *Ali*

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Re: Feeding every hour and sleeping on me
« Reply #23 on: April 09, 2017, 19:32:25 pm »
I just wanted to add that what you pump is no indication at all of what your LO gets when she feeds. Babies are much more efficient than a pump.
Have you tried holding through the jolts?



Offline HelenFisher

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Re: Feeding every hour and sleeping on me
« Reply #24 on: April 09, 2017, 19:37:17 pm »
Oh I see, thanks Ali. I have tried to hold through the jolts and now that she has all of a sudden taken to the pacifier and won't sleep without it, I tried popping it back in before she wakes up but it hasn't worked.  It must be developmental as it's just happened over night. She use to go down without a fuss, now she wails if I leave the room and has taken to her pacifier overnight.

Offline HelenFisher

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Re: Feeding every hour and sleeping on me
« Reply #25 on: April 11, 2017, 10:13:28 am »
This was yesterday

Monday

4.00 feed
5.00 feed

6.00 awake
6.30 feed
7.10 feed
7.20 sleep

8.00 awake
8.30 feed
9.15 feed
9.40 sleep

10.25 awake
11.30 feed
12.20 sleep

13.00 awake
14.00 feed
14.40 sleep

15.30 awake
16.00 feed
17.20 sleep

17.45 awake
18.30 feed
19.40 sleep

11.00 dream feed

Offline HelenFisher

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Re: Feeding every hour and sleeping on me
« Reply #26 on: April 11, 2017, 10:18:23 am »
Do you have any advice on pacifiers. For some reason she has taken to one overnight and now won't nap without it. Totally my fault. She use to suck her hands but I've been feeding her before putting her awake in her cot due to the change in awake time and bf schedule.

A couple of days ago she wouldn't settle for ages so I gave her a pacifier and now she's hooked!

She'll sleep in her pushchair without one. I wait for her to drop off before removing it so that it doesn't wake her up when it falls out. She hasn't stated asking for it if she wakes in the night either...but concerned it could be a slippery slope.
« Last Edit: April 11, 2017, 10:20:45 am by HelenFisher »

Offline deb

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Re: Feeding every hour and sleeping on me
« Reply #27 on: April 11, 2017, 10:53:06 am »
I don't think it's necessarily a bad thing to have the pacifier. Both mine used one; we did phase it out w/DD#1, although in retrospect I regretted it and instead bought a dozen of the so DD#2 could just grope around, find one, and re-plug herself. (I want to say she worked this out around 5 months but not going to swear to it, as it HAS been 11 years now!) The only issues we had with the sprinkle-them-all-around-the-cot approach was when they got stuck in the bumpers or fell out altogether, but usually w/8-12 in there she could usually find ONE. Both mine, especially #2, came with a HUGE need to suckle on something, and I referred having it be the paci rather than ME.

Looking at the EASY, that is a LOT of feeds. Have you tried, instead of the second E per A time, giving her the paci? She may be looking more to suckle for comfort than to feed, and it would give the breasts time to "refill" for fuller feeds. Too-frequent feeds and you can get a foremilk-hindmilk imbalance and she may not be getting enough of the really rich milk that's more satisfying. I'd definitely be trying to stretch out those E times.

Also, are you getting enough to drink yourself? Make sure you're getting lots of liquid so that your body has plenty to make milk with. :)

Offline HelenFisher

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Re: Feeding every hour and sleeping on me
« Reply #28 on: April 11, 2017, 15:18:56 pm »
Thanks for the advice about the paci, just find it odd that for 3 months she wasn't interested and now she's obsessed. So far it's not posing an issue, just hope it doesn't turn into a bad sleep association in the future.

Now that you mention it, I don't have much to drink in a day. Maybe two cups of coffee and one glass of water at the most. She has been having green poos lately too.

I've tried to extend her feeds beyond her nap time but she feeds before naps at the moment otherwise won't go down. Can you recommend a schedule for 1.45 awake time and 45 nap time?
« Last Edit: April 11, 2017, 16:14:05 pm by HelenFisher »

Offline *Ali*

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Re: Feeding every hour and sleeping on me
« Reply #29 on: April 11, 2017, 16:19:49 pm »
A paci is recommended at sleep times until at least 6mo by SIDS experts to reduce the risk of cot death so it's a good thing ☺



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Re: Feeding every hour and sleeping on me
« Reply #30 on: April 11, 2017, 17:23:27 pm »
Ah, got it - hadn't worked out you were feeding again at naptime (I'm cutting back on coffee so I'm slow on the uptake LOL). So if you give her a paci instead of the breast, no go? Around 3-4 months I did have to do a sort of "snack feed" at naptime; I just offered one breast and that was enough to suit her. Maybe offer one breast and then paci if she still seems to want to suckle? Give your other breast time to refill properly.

Green poos can also be a sign of a food intolerance, so she could be reacting to something in your diet. I was cutting out dairy while nursing DD2 and drinking rice milk instead, and I didn't realize that the brand we were using had carageenan in it, and we got green poos from that so I had to switch out for a few months. (It was the lovely ladies here that pointed out the possibility!) Dairy and soy are common food intolerances; if her tummy is bothering her, the discomfort might explain the short-napping and inability to extend the nap.

Just throwing out some ideas here.

Offline HelenFisher

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Re: Feeding every hour and sleeping on me
« Reply #31 on: April 12, 2017, 10:30:36 am »
Paci instead of breast at nap time has worked a couple of times, hooray. I've also given her a mini feed followed by popping the paci in and it's worked! Thanks. Breasts feel much better for it.

Hadn't thought about food allergies or intolerance. I drink a lot of milk during the day so will cut it out for a week and see what happens.

Thanks deb

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Re: Feeding every hour and sleeping on me
« Reply #32 on: April 12, 2017, 10:36:55 am »
Yay, progress!

Now I think of it, green poos might also be related to foremilk-hindmilk imbalance, so as she starts taking fuller feeds you might see a decrease in green poo as well.

Hope the rest of the day goes well!