I am only sporadically getting emails about replies to this message, so sorry for the delay (I don't check in here much anymore beyond responses to this message). I completely feel for you and how discouraged you are! I thought that you were already working on getting in to see a speech therapist? What type of formula is your lo on? My oldest was had trouble with bm's until we switched to Good Start by Carnation. I know some individuals don't endorse anything by Carnation d/t some issue I know little about (but I have read about it), however, there formula has different proteins that make bm's easier for some and this was definitely the case for my lo. Just a thought, because, while it may not be the main problem you're dealing with, it does all go together.
The speech therapist should be able to evaluate the whole problem for you (if not, find one who can!). I hope you get help soon and try do something to keep yourself calm in the meantime. Meditation really does work, find a quiet spot and breathe when you have a few moments! It will get better, it has to!