Author Topic: Let him ask for the feed... or go to him? Seem simple?  (Read 1851 times)

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Offline Cory'stiredmommy

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Let him ask for the feed... or go to him? Seem simple?
« on: March 09, 2006, 21:28:30 pm »
Hi!
My little BF boy is almost 5 months old and we are trying to work some things out including night wakenings. I normally would have posted there but I believe this is linked to BF'ing.
FYI: Cory is gaining weight well, is well rested, he never gets over tired or is overstimulated at nap time, sleeps with me after his last feed and goes to sleep without a any props.

At 2:30 in the morning I feed Cory (he usually wakes around that time). However, he is waking a lot more these days and I wonder if it is because he's thinking "maybe I get boobie now?" - but it has only been 2 hours since the last feed. He is very happy to go 4 hours during the day...

Would it be better if I woke him up instead of waiting for him to wake? He is waking 4 times between the 11pm feed at 7am.
I wonder if he will associate feeding "when mommy wakes me."
Any thoughts?





Offline daisymelan

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Re: Let him ask for the feed... or go to him? Seem simple?
« Reply #1 on: March 09, 2006, 21:46:19 pm »
First off,  {{{hugs}}}

I always hope when mamas have a sign in name like yours, that they will soon want to change it. 

I was wondering, have you always coslept?  And I do think that it is likely a bfing thing, not necessarily just night waking.
Mom to O (July 20/05) and L (Dec 25/06)

Offline Cory'stiredmommy

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Re: Let him ask for the feed... or go to him? Seem simple?
« Reply #2 on: March 09, 2006, 21:59:50 pm »
Hi,
Thanks for the quick response! We have always co-slept except for 2 nights about 2 months ago. Those nights Cory fed only once and basically slept through the night. He was in his crib! I am always torn between co-sleeping and having him in his crib. I have read that cosleeping fosters close relationship etc. and that babies aren't meant to be independent at this age. I wish I would stop reading  ;)





Offline daisymelan

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Re: Let him ask for the feed... or go to him? Seem simple?
« Reply #3 on: March 09, 2006, 22:06:34 pm »
I won't dispute any literature, but I know Tracy believes that little ones sleep better when they learn to sleep on their own in their own bed.  I'm not sure I can offer much advice as I never coslept.  (we tried a few nights and they were awful for everyone)  I think, in response to your last post, that your little one slept through the night fine alone a few months ago... so that may be some food for though.

So I guess if you wanted to end the cosleeping I could be of more help.  But that is a personal choice and one that I know many mamas struggle with.

Hopefully someone else will be able to help you.  If you would like my thoughts on alone sleeping, I would be more than happy to offer them. 

{{{{hugs again}}}}
Mom to O (July 20/05) and L (Dec 25/06)

Offline Cory'stiredmommy

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Re: Let him ask for the feed... or go to him? Seem simple?
« Reply #4 on: March 09, 2006, 22:14:50 pm »
Hook me up with your thoughts on sleeping alone sweet sister!





Offline Cory'stiredmommy

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Re: Let him ask for the feed... or go to him? Seem simple?
« Reply #5 on: March 09, 2006, 22:15:50 pm »
BTW, should I wake him for the feed.. or wait for him to wake?





Offline daisymelan

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Re: Let him ask for the feed... or go to him? Seem simple?
« Reply #6 on: March 09, 2006, 22:24:42 pm »
haha, if you insist.  You made me laugh at that.... makes me feel like we're friends already!   :)

I would think that if allowed to fall asleep on his own in his own bed, then he wouldn't be able to reach his 24hr milk bar.  Or I guess jsut 12 hour overnight takeout window.  Know what I mean?

If it isn't at his disposal, he won't be so quick to wake up for a quick feed.  

Is he taking full feeds when he wakes at that time?  If he is, then he is likely replacing cals he didn't get during the day.  If he's not taking full feeds, then it is likely a comfort thing to help him soothe himself back to sleep.

I think helping him adjust to a crib at this age will be tough on both him and mama, but in my own humble opinion, it woudl be easier to adjust now rather than when he's older and his memory is better.  I think that's why I didn't keep with the cosleeping, the adjsutment later would be harder, and Baby Whisperer just worked so well for us, that in my selfish way, I liked the sleep we all got.

You could do a dreamfeed, which is waking him to feed, that's what I did from about 5 months to now.  I gave it to my son about 4 hours after his last nursing.  Try not to really wake him, just try to get him to nurse while he's still sleeping.  It's a form of art, but works wonders.

But everyone is different, so just take what you like of my advice.  

Hope something in there will be helpful for you and Cory.

P.S. I'm a posting nut today!!!!
Mom to O (July 20/05) and L (Dec 25/06)

Offline Cory'stiredmommy

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Re: Let him ask for the feed... or go to him? Seem simple?
« Reply #7 on: March 09, 2006, 23:06:40 pm »
I find that Cory is very comfortable in his crib. I do not sense that he has any separation anxiety or a need to sleep with me. He always go down great in his crib. I do the DF when he wakes at 10:30ish... He doesn't really wake at this time or it seems that he i in sleeping/feeding mode very quickly.
He will take a full feed at this time but at 2:30ish I have been giving him 10 minutes- 3/4 of a boob and that has been getting him to the 7am feed (which he only wants at 7:15). I find that he only does a 3/4 feed and the 11am feed seems to be only 1 boob at best. I sense that he can go longer in the night but sometimes I really can't tell his hungry cry from the very frustrated "I can't get back to sleep cry.
As a result of the 2:30 feed I think he is waking up a lot more often to see if it is boobie time. He really loves to feed when it is dark or dim. He feeds best right after bath time. Day feeds are sometimes a challenge!!!!
I wish I could get him to cluster feed during the day.... Any tips on getting him to cluster after doing great on a 4 hour schedule? I would love to get more calories into him during the day





Offline daisymelan

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Re: Let him ask for the feed... or go to him? Seem simple?
« Reply #8 on: March 10, 2006, 18:23:59 pm »
Ok, I think I'm reading your posts a little more clearly today. 

If the waking is at 2:30 consistently, you could try wake to sleep if you think he's waking out of habit.

Have you heard of this?  If not, I can post an example of it.

Does that help you out a bit?  I hope I'm on track now.

I did not use cluster feeding much, so hopefully someone else may be able to help you out there.
Mom to O (July 20/05) and L (Dec 25/06)

Offline Cory'stiredmommy

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Re: Let him ask for the feed... or go to him? Seem simple?
« Reply #9 on: March 10, 2006, 18:31:55 pm »
I want to try wake to sleep but Cory is back to waking 4 times a night. It seems like even if we wake at 1:40... and he goes back to sleep he still wakes at 2:30-:250. Last night was awful :'( I tired cluster feeding yesterday but Cory didn't want to have anything to do with it! Oh Well.
Thanks for you help





Offline Samuel's mum

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Re: Let him ask for the feed... or go to him? Seem simple?
« Reply #10 on: March 12, 2006, 14:01:14 pm »
Hi
Sorry things are tough. I'm surprised he's still waking at the same time even having woken at 2.40! Have you read about the pat/shussh method or pu/pd both of which are used by people on this board? You could perhaps think about moving over to the sleep forums. Have a look at night wakings or props. You say that you can't always tell a hungry cry from a frustrated 'can't get back to sleep cry'. I think it's important at this stage you don't get him dependent on needing the boob to get to sleep. He may ask for boob but not because he's hungry - because it is comforting and relaxing and the way to get back to sleep. Some mummies who co-sleep have no problem with this and see it as perfectly natural but they are probably more in line with 'attachment parenting' boards than baby whispering ones. I would try and avoid this sort of boob=sleep dependence. That's why I'm recommending you look at the props forum as well at this point. This is the age where he is ready to learn about how to transition between different levels of sleep independently. Good Luck.
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