HELP!!! Six month old won't go to sleep at night!

[CharlotteS]

The past few nights, DS has FOUGHT for about an hour to go to sleep at night.  He is 6 months old, and takes great naps during the day (about 3.5-5 hours a day).  He used to go to sleep at night just as easily.  However, the past few nights when I try to put him down to sleep at night, he screams and kicks his legs. This is after a routine that he's followed since about his 2nd month: feed, bath, cuddle/book, a song/prayer, and bed.  (Usually in bed by of before 7:30pm)   PU/PD does NOT work.  He kicks me and hits out at me, and Tracey said not to try and PU/PD a baby who is fighting.  Instead, I stand next to his crib and talk quietly to him, but this usually doesn't calm him down.  He buries his head in his mattress while he flails and rolls and screams.  Sometimes, DS will let me put my hand on his back or he'll hold on to my finger, but usually, touching him when he's that upset just makes him more upset.  DH and I have never left him to "cry it out" and he takes good naps in his crib during the day.  (So, I don't think he has crib aversion.) Here are some things that are going on right now that might help figure out the problem:

He is learning so many things right now.  (Sitting up, trying to pull up, etc.)  So, this may be a milestone problem.  Also, we had to wean him from his pacifier, because we were accidently using it as a prop.  He can put it into his own mouth now, so we keep it available in his crib, and he grabs it when he wants it.  DS usually sleeps with the lights off.  (If there are lights on, he plays in his crib.)  But, tonight, I turned on a small light, and he stopped crying for a little while. 

So:
Are we putting DS to bed too early? (Catnap before last feed can run
long.)

Is DS going through separation anxiety?  Is using a light in the room better because he can see me, DH, and his familiar surroundings, or did he calm down because the light surprised him?

Is he in pain from teething?  (Bottom two just came in two weeks ago.  Do top ones hurt the same way when they come in?)

Or, is this just a milestone time that he's going through?

Sorry to go on and on, but I really need some help here!  PLEASE! I'll take ANY advice from anyone who has had these kind of problems. 

Thank you!
Hugs, Charlotte

[Jaime]

it does sound like it can be a bit developmental or teething related.  sounds like he's learned a LOT recently, and that he's still trying to work it out.  if that's the case, you will just need to ride it out as you have been until it blows over.

but just to be sure, can you post a sample of your day including naps & feeds?

 

[jordon&dylansmom]

The differences are that my DS is five months old (adjusted age 4months) and that he isn't crying at bedtime at all.  Just not sleeping. 

During the day, he falls asleep so fast that I can pretty much put him down, pat/shush for a few minutes and leave the room.  I timed it the other day and he fell asleep in less than 5 minutes!  This is what makes the night time sleep issue so exasperating, tonight, I was with him for 2 full hours before he finally fell asleep and I was so tired of shushing that I had to take a break and cry for a minute during the two hours.

His daily routine is roughly 3-3.5 hour easy with two naps of 2 hours and one of roughly 1 hour depending on how the day went.  Most days he can stay awake for almost 2 hours between naps, but I pretty much just follow his cues for when he is sleepy and whatnot. 

He has also been learning a lot lately, but as far as I can tell he hasn't started teething yet.   If we have to simply ride it out, any guesses as to how long the ride will be?

[CharlotteS]

Yes, J's mom!  What is it about the daytime that they will go right down??  Why will they do it during the day with no problems, but at night it's as if all rules are changed?  {{{{Hugs to you!}}}}

Anyway, here's what ds does on a "normal" day (give or take 30 min.):

7:00 Cereal w/ fruit and bottle
9:00 nap
11:00 fruit or veggie (or combo) and bottle
12:45/1:00 nap
3:00 fruit or veggie (or combo) and bottle
4:30/5:00 cat nap
6:30 cereal w/ fruit or veggie and bottle
7:00/7:30 bedtime (after bath and wind-down)
10:30/11:00 df

Tonight, I watched ds VERY carefully when dh and I put him in his crib.  We start him out on his back (We weaned the swaddle when he was about 4.5 months - He was pulling it up around his neck!  :shock: ).  Sometimes he'll flip over to his stomach, or sometimes he'll stay on his back.   I noticed today that he's been crossing his legs at the ankle when he lays down on his front or on his back.  Anyway, tonight, ds started crying and flopping around again in the crib when he was put down.  It almost looked as if he was trying to lay on his side, but he couldn't stay balanced.  So, he would flop to his front or to his back and get more and more frustrated.  After watching this, I finally got two receiving blankets and rolled them up.  Then I positioned ds on his side and placed one blanket roll in front of him (by his belly) and one at his back.  Now, he couldn't flop over to the other side.  As soon as I finished, he popped his pacifier into his mouth, and went to sleep.  AMAZING!

Now, I don't know if this will work tomorrow night.  I don't even know how long it will work tonight.  I've never heard of a baby this young being so particular about the position he sleeps in!  Should I keep this up?  Encourage it?  Has anyone else had an experience like this?

Thanks, Charlotte

[Jaime]

if it makes you feel any better - my dd was only DAYS old and i had to put her down on her side to sleep  :roll:  :lol:

but as long as it's helping him calm down, i'd keep putting him on his side for a bit.  he's not really in any danger, and he will learn to roll to get there soon enough.

the only thing i might question about your schedule is that 2 hrs. may be too long to go until his first nap.  other than that, i think i'm sticking with his restlessness being developmental.   

[CharlotteS]

You're absolutely right, Jaime!  I watched him this morning, and he took his nap around 8:30 instead of 9:00.  Maybe I need to watch him a little closer more often. 

Today's been a gem!  One for the record books.  DS has eaten well, played well, and slept well!  It's been a great day for all.  (He's been doing GREAT being on his side!)  I feel like the gods have smiled on the whole house.  Why do I have the feeling that tomorrow I will pay for today? The quiet before the storm, perhaps?  :lol:

BTW, have you always lived in Orlando?  I live in N. FL!

Hugs,
Charlotte

[Katw]

Hi there,

I'm pretty much experiencing the same as you at the moment!
Fine for day naps but bedtime is such a struggle!

I too am hoping its due to age and that it stops soon!

Alana has been swaddled since 5 weeks and has been sleeping on her side since then with no problems. We put her on her back after the DF but for all other sleeps she's on her side between towels and we've had no problems from it at all, so go for it!!

Hope things stay calm for you!!!

[Jaime]

hi Charlotte,

i've been in orlando for about 9 years now - came over to go to UCF & never left!   :lol:  i was in st. pete before then.

glad today went well for you & tomorrow does too!

[Katw]

Ok She's getting worse!!!

Please, please let this pass soon!! Last night took 20mins to get her to sleep - not too bad - but then up 3 times in the night, last time she was screaming blue murder - you'd think she was being hurt!!! - and eventually I managed to get her back to sleep after 45mins.

Today - naps no problem , down straight away - then tonight one hour to get her to sleep - her crying , me crying - the works!!!

She's been asleep since - thank god - so I got myself a big glass of wine!!

I feel lots of bottles will be drunk if this carries on!!!

[CharlotteS]

Yes, Kat!  I'm right there with you.  The truly bad thing about this is, once you think you have the right combination of things to do, it doesn't work one night!

Things were going pretty well.  We were putting ds on his side with the blanket rolls to keep him steady.  Last night we did everything that we had been doing; the same routine, the same time, the same order.  But he would NOT settle down.  He absolutely screamed as if I was trying to kill him or something if I set him in his crib!  I had to do PU/PD until he fought me too hard, THEN I had to set my hand on his back while he squirmed and flailed.  He finally calmed down and went to sleep, but I think he just had to fuss it out until he got tired enough.  Thankfully, once he went to sleep, he slept well!  But it took a little over 30 min. to get him down!  Like you, I also had a LARGE glass of wine after the ordeal!   :lol: 

Hang in there, sweetie.  I know that it's all worth it.  There's got to be something going on with our LOs.  I mean, they're almost the same age - maybe it is a developmental thing.  Has your LO started doing new things at a startling rate all of the sudden?  DS is so much more aware lately, is teething like mad, and has been sitting by himself.  Maybe that's why he's so tired?   :?  What about your LO?

Hugs and more hugs,
Charlotte

[Katw]

Hi Charlotte,

As they are so close age I am hoping it is just developmental as well!

Alana is trying desperately to sit up all the time. If I lie her down she is always lifting her head up - getting a great 6 pack though!!
And yes she's aware of everything and trying to grab at things all the time so i guess all this makes sleep far too boring....

Last two nights have been better. When she won't settle I have been pinning her arms and legs still and shushing her - so far so good but I'm not holding my breath.
I'm hoping she won't get used to me being there when she falls asleep and that this becomes a habit or a prop - I presuming not as she is fine for naps? Any ideas

Hope things are good for you!

[CharlotteS]

Hi, Kat!

WHAT A NIGHT!!!  :shock:

Took FOREVER again trying to get Josiah down tonight.  I tried doing an Aussie swaddle on him, but he got so upset!  In hindsight, I think that it was more stimulating than not.  I haven't swaddled him in months, so it was a HUGE mistake on my part to try it out when he was already fussy.

I finally just had to hang out in his room.  I can only do PU/PD for so long before he starts to fight me.  After that, I patted him while he would let me, and THEN I just shushed.   It makes me wonder if I should try to keep him up a little longer.  But, then again, I KNOW that he's sleepy.  It would just be foolish to try to keep him up.

As for what to do now, I guess we just wait it out.  I mean, I can't think of anything else to do before "accidental parenting" moves in.  (And swaddling wasn't such a hot idea either.)  He's taking good naps (but not overlong), so I don't worry about anything being a prop since he doesn't need it during the day.  I imagine that Alana is doing the same thing.  Plus, they're too close in age and "night characteristics" to be a coincidence.  I LOVED your theory that sleep was too "boring" compared to all the fun stuff they're doing now.  BTW, is your LO a spirited?  Josiah is a half spirited, so I'm sending serious hugs and prayers to anyone who has a true, full spirited baby!

Hope tonight goes well for you!
Hugs, Charlotte

[Katw]

Hi Charlotte,

Well things not so good again, she went down straight away for her Daddy but not for me it seems!!

I had to do a re-swaddle and then hold her arms and legs still again , took 40mins to get to sleep, whereas last night she was straight out for DH, typical.......

I used to think she was touchy, spirited at first - then I went to text book for a while but now i'm thinking slightly spirited as well! It's just her sleeping - its such a nightmare , she just can't relax and let go!!!

How have things been for you? I'm hoping it will get better soon , where's my baby gone who knew how to put herself to sleep??!!!!!!!!!
Bye for now

[CharlotteS]

Hi, Kat!

I'm CONVINCED that we're going through a separation anxiety phase.  DS has to be able to see either myself or dh before he drifts off.  He even did it at naps today.

Okay, well, he might just be getting a little cold, so maybe he's also feeling a little needy.  But, having to watch to make sure I'm there before he sleeps  - what's that about?!?

He usually takes a "long" nap (about 1.5-2 hours) right after his 11am feed.  Today it was only 45 min. because he was afraid that I would leave!  What a mess.  Made him overtired for the rest of the day.

I've heard that this passes.  Especially if this is a s.a. phase or a little cold.

I've just thought of something else!  My dh is able to put ds down better than I am too most nights.  Do you think our LOs recognize us as someone who plays with them AND puts them to sleep while "Daddy" is just there to put them to sleep?  I mean, dh only sees ds at night when it's time for sleep.  Hmmm.... I wonder..... 

You know, as sorry as I am for you that your precious lo is giving you such grief, it makes me relieved to know that my kid isn't the only one going through this!  Even if our families are an ocean apart!

Have you been swaddling your dd since birth?  Do you do an Aussie swaddle, or just a "regular" one (one that Tracey talked about)?  I know that I had to stop swaddling ds a couple of months ago.  It just makes him angry.  He knows when I'm coming at him with a blanket to wrap him.  He gets SO angry before I even touch him with it!   :roll:

So, what kind of wine are you drinking these days (nights)?   :wink:

Cheers!
Charlotte