8m/o Fussy for a month now. Is my EASY right?

[MarciaMSPT]

Hi... I'll browse the PPD boards... might be good for support.  I had an awful time last October and November... felt like the valley of the shadow of death!  I got on some meds and pulled out of it.  My DH was such a support and still is.  It's good to feel better although I still struggle at times...but today was another first for me... just doing the best that I could and not worrying about everything so much.  But, I will browse the PPD boards and thanks for the tips on posting on boards with the "quick" title etc...that is very helpful.  It's also helpful for me to realize that my little guy is growing and learning and that these days will be gone soon so it helps me to soak them up, trials and all!

I think I will work with evening out two nice naps during the day first (splitting up BM and solids later).  Afraid to change too many things at once!

My big question is that if I start to put him down earlier say about 10:15 instead of 10:30 I'm afraid he will start waking at 45 minutes due to undertired.  But perhaps you were referring to his afternoon nap, putting him down at 3 or 3:15 instead of 3:30.  The 3:30 is not that common - it's more like 3:15ish.  Today was 2:30 due to his only 45 min nap this morning when I put him down at 10:15 due to his OT from yesterday.  So again, I'm nervous about putting him down earlier in the morning... BUT... he did go down at 2:20 and slept to 4:20 so maybe he is needing a longer PM nap and shorter a.m. nap?  Your thoughts?

OK... I'm going to hop over to the PPD boards and browse for a few quiet moments.  My little guy is in bed now... went down peacefully at 7:45...  we've been doing 7:45 to 8 so decided to scale back slowly.

Hugs and thanks!
Marcia

[creations]

Sorry to hear you had a hard time last oct/nov.  Good to hear your DH is supportive

So, in terms of the E routine, I've asked fellow mods if they have any experience of this. I'm half wondering if his fussiness is due to the E routine as E effects S and S effects E.  I'll let you know what comes up.

For sleep, I thought from a previous post the first nap was now 1.5 and being capped so yes I was thinking you might reduce that first A slightly so he wasn't so tired for it and then you would have more time int eh day for the second nap to lengthen. However now it seems he is short napping if you put him down earlier than 3.5hrs so how about leave that first A but let him nap up to 2hrs on nap 1?
Then 3 hrs to the second nap and let him sleep 1hr.
So your day might looks something like this

WU 6.30
A 3.5hr
S 10.00 - 12.00
A 3hr
S 3.00 - 4.00/4.30
A 3hr max
BT 7.00 (and no later than 7.30)

Is it still mainly the evenings he is grumpy and fussy?

Average sleep needs are 15 - 18 hrs in 24 hr period. Mine never reached that, more like 14hrs.  Your DS has shown ability to sleep a decent first and second nap, not sure he's ever done both in one day though, I'd look for 3hrs/4hrs day sleep and 11hr night.

hugs for you too. Try not to worry too much about his sleep, get a break for yourself whenever you can x

[MarciaMSPT]

Wow... I guess he is low on sleep...

Get up time is 7, but wake up time has been touch and go... although the last two mornings, he's been fine till 7am.

Didn't mean to confuse on you the naps.  Yesterday was not a good indicator as Saturday he only had 3 cat naps due to a long day away from home.  I put him down yesterday at 10:15 instead of 10:30 hoping he would sleep longer but that's when he only did a 40 min nap   so I'll put him down at 10:30 again today to see what happens.  He did a two hour nap yesterday afternoon and seemed fairly good till BT at 7:45.  But again, yesterday is not a good indicator of the norm due to lack of sleep the day before.

I will let him sleep up to two hours for nap one this morning and see how that goes. And then see what a 3 hour A time does for the second nap. 

Yes, grumpy and fussy tends to be as the day goes on... mostly after bath... hates getting dressed etc.  Getting better but still fussy. 

Thanks... baby calls now! Hugs

[creations]

If you're able to move the bath earlier that may help. Mine would be awful if he was too tired for his bath. Maybe bath and into pjs then another little A time if it is too early for bed, a story book or cuddles to songs?

Great to hear he slept until 7am too

[MarciaMSPT]

Seems we've tried moving the bath earlier but may try it again... one thing I've learned as  new mommy is that something that works or doesnt' work today may or may not work tomorrow or next week!   Thanks for all your help with this...

[creations]

How are you now?

[MarciaMSPT]

Hi there and thanks for checking in. 

I've played around with letting him sleep as long as he wants in the morning which generally only amounts to between 5 and 15 min more than I had been letting him.

I've been putting him down closer to 3:30 and letting him sleep till 4:30 (and that makes me nervous regarding bedtime!)  but so far he's only slept till about 4:15 or 4:25 at the latest.

We've also been putting him to bed between 7:30 and 7:45 depending on the last nap.

He's not been waking early in the morning... maybe 5-10 min at most. 

Since he can sit well in the sink, I've been letting him stay in the bath as long as he wants and this seems to be working better with the fussiness in dressing later.  I just hang around the sink and listen to webinars or work on meal planning.  Sometimes I fold laundry there on the kitchen table. 

I just got an inflatable tub for the bathtub since he splashes a lot... so wondering what that whole process will look like when we make the switch!

Looks like only one more week of low 40's temps before we can get outside more.  I do try to take him somewhere close by in the afternoon just to break the day up.

I tend to let him run my schedule still instead of allowing him to fuss a bit if I'm working on something like washing the dishes etc.  Seems I carry him in my pack too much?  But in the long run, I would rather look back and feel like I held him too much rather than not enough.  I'm open to thoughts about that although it's really not an EASY topic.

Thanks again for "calling."  About brought  tear to my eye that I was being thought of.

[creations]

of course you are thought of 

It sounds like things are going great with your routine now!!  Am I right or misreading?

WRT responding to his fussing, I would too. You're right you will never look back and regret cuddles and closeness, I am a believer in responding when needed and that by giving more they need less. It's also fine to encourage independent play, talking to him and singing, making some eye contact whilst washing the dishes.  I found it helpful to respond immediately with "yes" a nice positive word, then if a delay was really needed say what it is "I'm coming, wait whilst i dry my hands", as he gets older he will be able to wait longer, but it will come from knowing you will respond rather than from leaving him to fuss. Hope that makes sense.
The activity board has great ideas for busy boxes etc to keep LO occupied whilst you do some important house work.

[*Ali*]

I see you are already getting great help from Creations but something occurred to me about the solids routine that I thought I would mention.

I know I found that once A times lengthened to 3hrs or more my kids really needed two decent sittings of food. DS1 did milk on wake up and then ate a decent amount of solids about an hour later. DS2 had the same schedule to start but he didn't take much at the solids meal and so I had to top him up with another milk feed before his first nap or he was fussy and couldn't seem to do a full nap of 1.5hrs or more.

When babies are on a 3 or 4hr milk schedule they tend to eat then be awake just another 1.5hrs or less and then be asleep for the last 1.5-2hrs before the next feed. Many babies who short nap and then are awake for a while before the 3 or 4hr point get hungrier earlier as obviously being awake and active burns more energy than being asleep. Once babies start approaching 3hrs of A time as they get older I think it is probably too much to expect them to be awake that long and not get hungry again before they sleep. Tracy always said this wasn't a problem as most babies would be having a solid meal an hour or more after eating so they never really went more than the 3 or 4hrs between food. If babies are having their milk and solids meal together and then awake another couple hours and asleep another couple after that then that is a long time to go between eating and drinking. Does your LO drink anything aside from what he has with his milk and solids?

If it were me I think I would definitely consider having a gap between the milk and the solids meal to give him time to digest the milk and make more room for the solid food. His tummy is still small so he can probably still only eat a small amount of solid food after her has filled up on milk. I know from personal experience even as an adult that despite how hungry I get I can still really only eat a normal sized meal so will eat less over the day if I have 3 big meals than if I have 3 big meals and a snack or 4 slightly smaller meals.

If you want to keep giving him the solids straight aftere the milk what about giving him a snack before his nap? It could be either solids like a yogurt or some milk if you prefer.

Did you check out of example routines FAQ? Routines for Solids and Bottles/BF's 6-12months

[MarciaMSPT]

Thanks Ali!

That is really good information...  I think maybe I should lean towards this option.  Even I get hungry after a meal before 4 or 5 hours. 

I reckon after he gets mobile (crawling etc) he will surely need some "extra" meals.  I'll look at the link and see what I can do to start changing things.

Thanks so much, Ali for your info and comments!

Hugs!

[creations]

Thanks for coming by Ali

[*Ali*]

Glad to be of service. I hope you find something that helps.

[MarciaMSPT]

Regarding naps...  well, my 9 month old is starting to go a tad longer than 3.5 hours till first nap which puts second nap closer to 3:45.  His first nap is from 10:30ish to 12ish and then his second has been anywhere from 30 minutes (rare) to 45 to 60.  However, I've learned that letting him sleep past 4:30 and sometimes even till 4:30 creates a tougher BT at 8pm. 

I"m not sure what I should do.  I'm not sure where to tweak now.  Shall I continue to cut his pm nap at 4:30 and still try to put down at 7:30?  This is almost impossible as he fusses and such till 7:45ish.

He's 9 months old now   thanks!

[creations]

What happens if you cap the second nap at 30 mins and go for 7.30pm BT?
I think he's showing early signs of the 2-1 transition, it's very early but Tinkerbell mentioned this could be possible as she supported you on a naps thread.
The 2-1 transition goes on a good while anyway before they finally drop to 1 nap. I think mine started at 9.5 and was down to one (very dodgy) nap at 11. it took a further month to extend the nap into a decent sleep.  That's considered early but I wouldn't be surprised by a LO moving to one nap even earlier.

[MarciaMSPT]

Hey there... thanks for the heads up on the 2-1 and that it can take awhile. 

Over the last few days, my DS (who is not 9 months old) has been waking at 45 minutes in his first nap and resettling for another 30 minutes (but looses about 10 minutes of sleep in the resettling).  His last nap has been about 45 minutes to a hour still.

So, this morning, I stretched him another 10 minutes into his A time (considering that he was awake at 6:50 I knew this was pushing it but they need pushed a bit right?  He went right down with no fuss and is an hour in with no wakings... so will need to look at capping his second nap for sure.  We are headed into to town today though about an hour away so will be hard to "perfect" things today, but he only sleeps 30-40 minutes in the car and if I time the drive home just right, the nap works out just right

Will push for the 7:30 bedtime as well when the capping starts...  I think he's teething again as well and possible growth spurting... so will just go with the flow for a bit and see what happens.   Any other thoughts or suggestions is more then welcome always!  And thanks to the others for chiming in on this... you all are truly amazing!