Separation Anxiety 21 months

[Natmarley]

My LO started at daycare last week and has been struggling with separation anxiety ever since. He has always been put down in his crib awake for naps and bedtime but now just stands in the corner crying. He's not napped since Wednesday, we've been leaving him up there for 90 minutes (as long as the crying doesn't get too intense) but he just stands there the whole time and at bedtime, for a few nights it took 45 minutes but he did eventually fall asleep (sitting up in the corner) but last night, I presume with extreme OT, he stood there for 90 minutes, crying on and off, so I had to intervene and wait in the room while he fell asleep. I don't really want to be doing this as it feels I'm creating a new problem through solving the other one.

His schedule was:

5:30-6:00
Nap 12:00-2:00
BT 7:15-7:30

His sleep was fine until the day after we left him at daycare for the first time. I'm not sure what to do now as he can't continue without napping as he's exhausted and it really shows in his behavior.

Just as a side note, he only sleeps in his crib, not in the car or pram.

Any help would be appreciated as I'm really desperate. I just want my happy little boy back.

[Buttonbobs]

When my DD started at nursery it did take a while to start napping properly there, and really we just had to ride it out and let her catch up on days when she was at home. How many days per week is he in nursery?

Do you know what time they are trying to put him down for a nap and what methods they are using if he doesn't sleep or if he settles and then wakes up halfway through the nap?

It would be normal for him to behave a little differently after the change to start at nursery. Are you able to spend time with him before he goes to sleep in order to top up his mummy cup?

I'm not sure from your post, but please make sure that if he is crying you do go to him. At BW we believe that leaving a child to cry alone (once they begin an escalating "I need you cry") can break the bond of trust between the parent and child. Crying is his way of communicating that he's struggling with something ain't is fine to be there with him. If you find for now he needs you more to reassure him while he gets used to nursery I would probably go with that personally, and then work on the sleep training a bit more once his day sleep is back to normal.

Sorry for the questions, if you can let us have a bit more information we might be able to help a little more

[Natmarley]

Thanks for replying. Sorry my post wasn't very clear, not enough sleep! He still naps here, not at nursery and he goes for two afternoons a week.

After not napping for so many days and not a lot of sleep the previous night my husband sat with him yesterday while he fell asleep but he only slept for 45 minutes (he usually sleeps for 2 hours) then woke crying and looking for him.

My husband tried sitting with him at bedtime last night but had to come out as my LO just thought it was playtime since he's not used to us being in there when he goes to sleep.

I'm at a bit of a loss now as to what to do

[Buttonbobs]

Ok - so only two days with no naps. Is she at nursery all day, or just the afternoons? If just the afternoons can you APOP a nap in the morning?

What is your EASY looking like on non nursery days?

[Natmarley]

He's at nursery for two afternoons , napping (or not doing as it is at the minute!) here at home beforehand. It's not just on nursery days he's struggling to sleep, it's every nap and bedtime since his first day at nursery.

He did manage to nap yesterday but I had to sit with him while he fell asleep and he only slept for 45 minute (as opposed to his usual 2 hours) then he woke up looking for me. I'm concerned he's going to get used to me doing this and I'm not sure how I'd go about getting back to him going down awake, putting himself to sleep without one of us having to sit with him.

Since this started his schedule's been all over the place but here's yesterday so you've an idea:

6:25 wake
Nap 12:30-1:15
BT 6:40

Please excuse me as I'm new here but what does APOP mean?