Need help from fellow SAHM's...please!

[Jacksmom77]

Hope I'm posting this in the right spot! My lo is almost 14mo. old & I seem to be having a "disagreement" with my MIL on housecleaning during the day while my son is awake.  Now, I know that he's my son and it really only matters what my husband how my husband & I feel about this, but...I would like to get the opinion of those who are in my same position & see if maybe she has a point.

I'll do some chores around the house while my lo is playing & her concern is that I should be playing with him as if I was a playmate - since he doesnt go to daycare, that is where he's getting his socialization.  Well, I understand that point but I'm just having a hard time deciding, just how much time you should spend playing with your children, when your home all day with them, and how much time it is okay to let them play on their own. Whenever I do chores, I'm always in the same room as him - he'll be in the kitchen playing with pans & I'll be loading/unloading the dishwasher.  I'll vacumn one floor of our house & he'll play or follow me with his "lawnmower".  I'm suddenly having a hard time with this, because now I feel like I'm being neglectful so I'm constantly paranoid about not paying attention to him - and my house is a mess! I normally only do a few little chores throughout the day with him -so my gut is telling me it's okay and that he's fine - but now I just dont know.

How do you all break up your day? I know this may seem obvious, but I'm just curious how other SAHM's spend their time with their children. Thanks for your help in advance! I really need it!

[Carys' mom]

Hi Brandi,

The way you've been doing things sounds a lot like what I do. I usually switch off and on playing with dd and doing chores throughout the day. I think they need to learn to play by themselves in addition to socializing. From the sound of things, it doesn't sound like your ds is crying out for attention or anything - he's entertaining himself. That's my two cents .

[woopster]

I do exactly the same.  Little and often round the house.  I tend not to do any after they have gone to bed unless it's really bad, because that is the only time I have to myself.
Take no notice of your MIL, you can bet your life she didn't spend all day playing with your DH!

[esthere]

I also would agree with the others. I do bits around the house during the day and play also.
The great thing is now Harry has started to want to help so we are doing some things together,
Hugs to you, you are doing great

[Caroline-Charlies Mummy]

What you are doing sounds PERFECT . I actually wish that ds would do that a bit more - he's terrible at independent play, and that's b/c I felt guilted into being permanently at his side at the beginning. The following you about with the lawnmower is lovely - you're teaching him that things need to be done, but you're also including him. If you were shoving him in a playpen and leaving him on his own, then I might be concerned, but as it is, you're raising a lo who is comfortable enough in his own self to explore the world on his own. I'm sure you do play with him too, so I really wouldn't worry

[calebs mommy]

I do the same things you do.  My son is happy to play on the kitchen floor with cars or balls or even chase the dog around, while I do dishes or laundry.  I think it is healthy for them to be able to have some independent play.  I usually devote a chunk of time to play with him, then I get some things done, then go back to him, etc.  As long as your son is happy playing along side you and he is getting enough one-on-one time, I certainly wouldn't worry about it.  Sounds like you are a great mommy!

[Mum to Ella Rose]

I agree with all pp's. Sounds like a great balance to me! 

{{hugs}}

[kim&savannah]

Sounds like you are doing a good job--I really do think that independant play is just as important as you playing with him--and so is keeping your house in a state that you can be happy with!   Plus, he will be able to "help" you more and more.  DD washes dishes with me, bakes, sweeps and fold laundry--its all a fun game for her and I love that she's "learning" to do chores.  I just hope she'll stay interesy=ted when she's older!

~Kim

[15milner]

Sounds like a perfect balance.

Bet she'd also be the first to say something if the house was filthy too!!  Afterall - you are at home all day.

Alex

[Jacksmom77]

Oh...thank you, thank you - to all of you! My instinct told me that I was doing just fine (which is rare!) - but, whenever someone doubts you, sometimes you just can't help but wonder. 

Thanks for making me realize I am normal! It's amazing how much advice you can get from the people who seem to help the least! But, that's another issue...thanks again so much!

[kcamelia]

I agree with everyone; I think it teaches them a distorted version of life if you are always a playmate because, well, because you're not! 

I do have a question, though: how do you play with them?  What do you do?  I am having a tough time with that.  I don't really know how! 

[TDR'smom]

Brandi,

I also agree that you are doing a wonderful job.  It is soooo important for lo's to learn to play independently.  It builds their self confidence.

So good for you!!!  Just be sure to take some time for yourself once in a while!!!   

Judy

[binxyboo]

We are just now at 16 months getting into things like blocks, shape sorters. He loves all rough and tumble play, being outdoors raking leaves is a fave at the moment, loves his teddy bears, and will play house with them on his own, feeding them, brushing their teeth etc. (I am really surprised with this as he started this on his own a few months ago) He adores books and will listen to me read until I get bored
I also bought a cheap watertable at Toyrus that we are using as a sensory table at the moment with leaves, pinecones, stones etc.

[jenisgump]

I agree I think you are doing a great job. Being a sahm is all about finding a  balance that works well for you, your lo and your dh.  If you feel like your doing a good job it's because you are. I think you being worried about spending enough time with your lo shows how much you care.  I love my mil, but sometimes they can drive you crazy. 


My lo and I play peek a boo, he loves walking and i let him touch and explore everything his hands can get on.  Pull toys are great.  Try pulling one with him and make it into a little race.  If he is old enough.  Roll balls back and forth.  Superman is a fun one.  just some ideas.

[Jacksmom77]

Wow...more replies - yippee Thanks - I hadn't checked the site in a few days - that was a nice surprise!

Michelle, this may be a dumb question but, what is a watertable? That sounds fun but I dont think I've seen one, unless we call it something different where I'm from