Sleep and EASY Support for spirited babies

[spiritedmama]

Thanks for all suggestions/advice, ladies! I'll be trying a few things and experimenting with A times. Wind down is a work in pogress as i havent found anything that works yet...

[weaver]

I think, often with spiriteds, less is more.  Start by doing almost nothing, just hold him, work out how he likes to be held best, maybe in a particular position?  My LO2 didn't like being held upright, she would always wriggle herself over into a horizontal position.  Or, very tightly? Or, not? And then add in just a gentle rub, or a hum, or a whispered word.  It may well be that he needs something but really not all that much.  A times may help a lot, as if he's ready for sleep, he may need less wind-down.

[MasynSpencerElliotte]

Our wind down takes 60 seconds tops! Diaper, into sleeping bag, white noise on, in bed!

[lily_layne]

I think, often with spiriteds, less is more.

This was definitely the case with my LO. She can finally handle a few stories now (20 months) but when she was younger it was diaper, pjs, white noise on, quick cuddle (2-3 minutes tops) and down.

[Sarah - Enfys' Mum]

Oh yes, too much wind down = wind up!  No way can I read books to Medi before her nap, she gets sooooo excited.

[Mel p]

Please help me I am really struggling. My little girl is 8 weeks old and I think is a mix of touchy/spirited. In the day time she is a lovely, happy little thing but from late afternoon it's like she turns into a little devil! We have always struggled to get her to settle at the evening despite having a consistent bedtime routine since about 4 weeks. She just won't settle and can be sound asleep on us and then as soon as we put her down she wakes and either grumbles escalating to a scream or just screams straight away. Other nights she screams in our arms even. It normally takes 2 or 3 hours to settle her and it's exhausting. She has reflux and the medication does seem to have helped her feeding issues. But I don't know what to do to help sleep time. I have tried to implement a routine and limit her day time sleep and make sure she is having enough awake time but it doesn't seem to help. I wake her from naps in the morning only to find she won't take any naps from 4 ish. If I let her sleep as long as she wants then she won't settle as she is wide awake. She hates swaddling. Any advice anyone?

[lily_layne]

Your LO sounds very similar to my DD at that age. Even though she fought it, we did find swaddling helped improve her sleep (once we could get her asleep) but you know your LO best so if she hates it, leave her unswaddled. We used the 5s's (swinging, shushing/white noise, swaddling, side position, and sucking). You can find some good videos on YouTube. This technique was a life saver. The first few times, it took a while to get her to sleep (30 min-1h) but it was an improvement over 2-3 hours. Once I got the hang of it, I could get her from top-of-her-lungs wailing to asleep in 5-10 minutes. At that age, she also had a lot of naps in the swing (and often the first chunk of the night).
What does a typical day look like?

[Mel p]

Thanks for your advice. So do you put to sleep On her side? Typical day varies a fair but, yesterday looked like this...

E 3.30
E 7.30
A 1h
S 8.40-10.45 (on and off 1h 45)
E 11.00
A 1h 30
S 12.15-14.00 (1h 45)
E 14.15
A 1h
S 15.00-15.30 (30 min)
A 1h
E 18.30
S really unsettled. Finally settled 10.39

I am religiously waking her after morning and mid-afternoon naps but then really, really struggle to get her to sleep anytime after that, even in my arms. I only managed to get her to sleep 30 min yesterday as we were in the car. I'm really at my wits end!

[michaeljacknnugg]

She sounds very OT to me. She's still so young that I would hold off waking her from naps if it were me, until she finds her own ryhthm. Is there a reason that you've been waking her?

[Mel p]

Thanks mj&n. I've just been waking her based on suggestions I've read online and in books. I was thinking that if I let her sleep too long then it would affect her night sleep. Would you let her sleep on regardless of time of day (morning vs afternoon)? I've been trying to ensure that she wakes no less than an hour before her bed time so that she's tired enough to sleep at that point. It's my first baby and I'm so overwhelmed by all the info out here and I know I do have a habit of trying to 'fix' things. I know it's a case of most babies are unsettled until 3mos but I just want to do all I can to make it easier for both of us :-)

[lily_layne]

I know I do have a habit of trying to 'fix' things.

I have the same habit - I'm still trying to kick it 21 months in! I agree with MJ&N about letting her sleep. I used to wake DD (over DH's protests) and it turns out he was right - waking her did not improve her nights. The days he was in charge and let her have really long late afternoon naps didn't really impact the evening or the night. At 8 weeks I'd probably just go with the flow with naps (easy to say in hindsight). At that age my DD was usually taking 4 (and sometimes) 5 naps on a good day.

We did put DD on her side or tummy to sleep. I know it's not recommended but it improved her sleep so much. When setting her when she was crying, we always held her on her side or stomach. Here's a link to some videos about the technique that worked for us: http://www.youtube.com/results?search_query=5s%27s+karp

[michaeljacknnugg]

Would you let her sleep on regardless of time of day (morning vs afternoon)?

She is still sorting herself out, really, and will settle into her own pattern if you let her (I hope!).

I would wake her when it is time to feed, if she has gone say more than 30mins over her allotted feed time. I really only tried to balance out the Es when DS was this little, and it's a good way to start. Otherwise, as you say, it all becomes overwhelming!

[Mel p]

Thank you ladies, I really appreciate your advice. I'm starting today afresh and not going to wake her. Re only waking her if she's gone over her estimated fees time, will she not just wake herself when she is hungry? She normally goes 4h between feeds so I guess I should work on that? I will also make sure she has enough awake time. It's just all so difficult, and with all the conflicting information it's tough to know whT to do 

[michaeljacknnugg]

She normally goes 4h between feeds so I guess I should work on that?

She's 8 weeks, right? She should be feeding approx every 3 hours then, which should mean she needs less at night.

I will also make sure she has enough awake time.

I really wouldn't worry about this, she will spend most of her awake time eating at this stage. And all babies are different, some are just sleepy. Is she awake a lot in the night?

As an example, my DS is low sleep needs and used to wake waaay before his feed time. Nothing I did could make him sleep longer (still the same now, sigh) and so I just let him wake up, play, fed him at approx 3 hours and then played again until he was ready to sleep. The guidelines in Tracy's book (and in other places) are just that, guidelines - you have to get to know your own child and work out what is best for them. As long as you are following EASY you will avoid the 'feed to sleep' prop which can seriously backfire on you later.

[Mel p]

She only wakes once in the night, we are really lucky. It's this evening unsettled period we are trying to sort. So today I've pretty much let her do what she wants but still follow the easy routine and she has slept loads. But she has also had a fair bit of awake time. She's quite alert and does seem to want to spend time after eating interacting with me and toys but I do put her in her cot as soon as she shows signs of tiredness.

Friday
E 2.30
E 5.55
E 9.20
A 2h
S 11.30-14.50 (3h 20) she was so tired I wanted to let her sleep and she had taken more overnight than she normally would have
E 14.50
A 1h 25
S 16.15

I just want to make sure I do right by her