Please help a swedish mum in tears!

[Isabelle's mum]

First of all I hope you understand my English
My babygirl is 8 1/2 months old and everything is up side down right now.
Starting with her sleep, she has always been sleeping for only short periods at the time. I have never really been able to put her down to sleep after breast feeding. My solution was to lie down and feed her and when she fell asleep I could just leave her there, I still do it that way. She only naps for 30 minutes, unless I lay next to her or she lies in my arms then she can sleep for one till two hours. At night I breast feed her to sleep and on a good night she will sleep for three hours then I give her the breast an she sleeps for two hours I give her the breast again and the rest o the night she wakes every hour. From four in the morning she doesn't let go of my breast.
She is not interested in food any longer. Is that because I breast feed to sleep, and she full from eating too much during the night?
She is teething, she wants me to carry her all the time, she is whining and crying.
Please help us Where do we start and how?

[Ennypen]

Hello!

Your English is fantastic!

I am sorry I do not have any advice for you as I have been blessed with a very good sleeper. I just want to pass on some hugs and to say that I know that someone will come along soon who can help you. We have a lot of great people here who are great at giving advice about your kind of problem.

Hang on tight - people are here for you xxx

Helen x

[mena]

Hi,

I've no advice either, but wanted to send you big {{{{{{{HUGS}}}}}}. I know a mom will do anything to get her baby to sleep...
Have you tried to post your problem in the forum for Sleep?

Besos,
Jimena

[kirsty_167]

Hi....

I want to send you big hugs and let you know that someone on this site will be able to give you some advice,maybe try the nap/night wakings or solids forums........as it sounds as if you have many things to deal with.

Sorry i cant give you any advice.The only thing i know is my baby would wake at night often if he wasnt getting enough food during the day.As for the sleep well he has been a short napper, a long napper and a no napper....it is always changing depending on what is happening to him  ie...teething,new milestone,wind etc.....maybe keep a log of what is going on so someone on the sleep forum etc can help you..

Hope things improve for you soon.
Take care
Kirsty

[estherofi20]

Sweetie your english is perfect!!!

i just wanted to send you lots of (((((((((((HUGGS))))))))too!!!

Just wondering have you tried PU/PD??? I'm no expert, so you should try to post on the PU/PD; or nightwakings forum, i'll  tell one of the moderators to answer you.

[jaxnp]

It sounds like a breastfeeding/sleep relationship problem.  She's used to nursing to sleep, so when she naturally wakes, she's unable to put herself back to sleep.  Everyone wakes multiple times during the night, we just go right back to sleep, but if she's used to the breast to fall asleep, she doesn't know how to go back to sleep on her own.  You can fix this, luckily!  A gentle way to do it is to still nurse her to sleep, but put her down less and less asleep.  The first day, put her down just as her eyes close.  Then put her down as her eyes are drooping.  Then put her down when she's drowsy.  Then put her down awake.  During the night cut her feedings down by one minute per night until she's not nursing anymore during the night (if that's what your goal is).  As you start putting her down awake, she'll need to find other means to soothe herself.  I assume she doesn't use a pacifier, but what about a special blanky or toy?  Your routine for bedtime and naptime should be the same every day.  For example, bath, books, nursing, bed.  If you do the process slowly enough, hopefully she won't put up too much of a fight.  If she does fuss though, you'll need to decide what method you want to use to deal with the crying.  PU/PD works well for a lot of people, or patting and shushing, or letting her fuss for a few minutes and then coming back in and calming her.  Whatever you think will work for you and the baby.  Regarding the short naps, they will hopefullly be taken care of by her learning to soothe herself to sleep so that when she wakes up after 30 minutes, she'll go back to sleep.  If she doesn't though, I've had success letting mine fuss for 5 minutes after they wake up, and within a few days they learn to either go back to sleep or play in their cribs.  If I got them up the instant they woke up, there was no chance of them going back to sleep.  HTH, and I hope some of this helped!

[Mariek]

Hi there

Welcome to BW. I'm just going to move your post over to the Naps forum - I think you'll probably get some more advice there.

love

[Cecilia~Olivia's mom]

davidsmom has excellent advise ALL OF IT! ...that's what worked for me & dd.  I introduced her to a special toy at about 7 months old (Mr. Bear) & made a big deal about him & she just loves this bear. 'Mr. Bear' is her nap/bed time companion only or if she is sick.

I would start with the naps & trying to extend them.  you must decide if you want 1 or 2 naps & when - i found after doing PU/PD & passing the regression stage, dd night time sleep improved drastically, not to mention her spirits during the day. 

I also did bottle feed her every so often through the night during growth spurts, lessing the quantity of milk every feed, no more than 3 consecutive days & no habit had formed.

Just wanted to add too, if teething is a factor or a cold creeping up, it does make things much harder, so let your baby get through the rough time & offer lots of cuddles & she will feel very safe & secure, then slowly start implementing your changes & try not put too much pressure on yourself or baby & do not let guilt make you give up.  Slow & steady, any improvement is better than how it is now  & it will get better, you will learn through your mistakes, but stay consistent & confident, even if you want to give up - DON'T.  I know that the sleep deprivation is a huge factor for you both, so you must work as a team!   There are several things that need attention as mentioned before & hopefully those of us who have been through it will offer advise that may help.  BW is a great support team! You seem concerned enough to ask for advise so that is a good sign that you are ready to do what is good for your baby because you love her very much.

Your English is great!   Hope this helps & good luck

[MPalmer]

I just wanted to say that you are an amazing mom for hanging in there for 8 1/2 months nursing to sleep!!!    It is absolutely understandable that you are in tears because that's an awfully long time to be sleep deprived.  Just know that you should be proud of yourself no matter what because you have done the best that you knew how to do.  It is very clear that you are a mommy with an amazing amount of love for your baby girl, and that is something to be very proud of!!!

My advice is to also slowly work toward putting her down on her own also.  It will be tough, but if you work at it slowly day by day, she will get used to the new way.  It won't happen over night because nursing to sleep has been the only way she knows how, but hang in there and have faith that she will learn the new way.  If you ever feel upset and want to give up DON'T because then you will have made her suffer through learning the new way for nothing.  Your strong love for her will surely help her learn soon enough!!!

Also, you didn't mention how you felt about pacifiers, but clearly she has a very strong sucking desire that sooths her.  I don't know if it's the right thing to give one now, but it might help. 

Hang in there!!