Morning Honey, ugh I feel for you so much, NW are my nemesis, it is so difficult to be at your best and most patient, and I have BTDT many times
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So here's the thing. My feeling is that you need to make a choice between the route of the most sleep, or trying to keep her in her own bed with IS as much as possible.
But first of all can you tell me when and how she dropped the nap
Did she start the usual BT resistance meaning the day was super long, which is what tends to happen. I know you mentioned before whether you should try and get a morning nap out of her.
One thing I was wondering about was the 11hour day because with the wake up time she had today, that would mean bed at 4:50pm which is way earlier that she would ever normally go.
Unfortunately you're right with an EWU it is a big risk to do BT this early, so unless she pulled a super long night there is a good chance it could backfire. If she was younger and this was a different transition I would be more confident, but there is no way of knowing whether this would work right now, it really is a matter of 'suck it and see' :/.
Looking back, she has only ever slept 11-12 hours max even when she was still napping so should I go with a 12-13 hour day?
x
If this is the case I would say she is 'low sleep needs' would you agree that is the true from the start
So I definitely would steer clear of any co-sleeping in your bed, as she now knows that isn't going to happen anymore. However if I'm honest, because I'm so bad with NW and impatient with DS in the daytime when I am OT, I would be climbing in with her at those NW and shushing and comforting her to get her back to sleep. The reason is this. If you can rule out 'discomfort/pain' for those long NW then for sure she is OT. For me, combating the OT with APOP comes first, because when everyone has caught up on some sleep you are then in a better position to ST and put things right. Believe me this is a conclusion it took some time for me to come to, but it worked best in this household. I would hope that if you do that she will go back to sleep much quicker, because she wouldn't be getting upset at your leaving trying to use WI/WO etc. Of course you run the risk of her starting to need you when she first goes down, so I am just speaking from experience and not saying you should go this route if you want to focus on IS the most, it's just that you sound very tired, and like me you feel yourself getting cross, inevitably in the MOTN
so I am thinking of the best way forward for you all, for now.
Forgive me if I told you this already, but during this transition I stayed with DS for several weeks at BT, because another BW advised me with some lovely words. She told me to think of it as a gift, rather than a chore. That one day he will be grown and he will no longer want Mammy to cuddle up with him. It really hit home, so instead of a long drawn out upsetting BT of over an hour, with WI/WO, some shouting if I'm honest
DH also getting wound up of the back of it all, I lay down and cuddled him. He started to fall alseep in 5 to 10 minutes, and started to STTN. Then one night around 9 weeks later I had to answer the phone and when I came back he was asleep. That was the end of it
he had caught up and there was no ST required. I will always look back on that with some pride TBH, because previously I was so fixated on IS and not going backwards that I forgot what BW is in it's essence. It isn't just about IS, and teaching your little one to go it alone, it is also about being there for them when they need you most. I also believe that if a LO drops off anxious that they are more likely to wake up again, whereas if they are relaxed they sleep better.
Let me know your thoughts Hun (and those of DP/DH) and here as some big fat ((HUGS)) for you.x.
