I need help! My 14 month old has never slept thru the night!

[DavidsMomma]

Nap was hard today, but I didn't give in... you guys are probably getting tired of the play by play, but I need a vent, I hope you all don't mind.  DH is not around to help at all and this is frustrating.

[LucyA]

We love the play by play! You can return the favour when I start in a couple of weeks!
You're doing great, keep it up!!

[jessica and emilys mummy]

Hey.
You need the play by play otherwise you feel so alone.
If you wanted to change tract,then change now,by which I mean,stop with the WI/WO with the naps and concentrate on the night time.
I would do the normal night time routine but when you go in for the WI/WO just touch his head,say goodnight quietly lay him down and walk out.Even if he cries and stands up straight away,just go out and count,then go in.
Keep moaning to us,we're here

[DavidsMomma]

Lucy, I can definitely be returning the favour!  You guys are meaning so much to me!  Hopefully yours will go quickly! 
Last night, well, I think it went well, it definitely went.  I was seeing progress at bedtime as he was starting to settle some while I was out of the room.  David still cried a lot, but I could tell it might be starting to work.  And I even continued WI/WO in the night time (DH wasn't thrilled about this, but kept telling him this was for the greater good.)  The first time he woke up at 10pm, only about 20 minutes, yea.  The second time, ugh, 1:20 until 2:45 (time he went back to sleep, but of course it took me forever!)  And he was working it out considerably more during that.  Of course the rest of the night was not so great on my part.  He woke at 4 and I just covered him and patted his head and stayed a bit longer (he might've gone right out, but I didn't walk right out, so I don't know, I was too tired at that point.)  Then he woke at 6, which normally, wouldn't be bad at all.  I tried to keep him in his bed some, but he wasn't going to have that, he was ready to get up, and I had no fight left.  So up he got, we went and sat in my bed and watched DH get ready.  Then DH left and David and I started chatting, waiting until 7 (I will not feed him before 7, haven't for a while.)  BUT we fell asleep - curses!!!!  We only slept until 7:45 (I had to wake David up!!), but I think that already set us back.  He hadn't been in my bed since I started this whole thing!  AHHH! 
So, now today, and his nap.  We have started having lunch earlier so as to have an earlier nap, since David is soooo tired.  Well, going down for naptime did not go well.  All that settling he was starting to do last night, never saw a bit of that.  And to make matters worse, he was getting so worked up that he was starting to gag (like if I hadn't of stopped it, there would have been a mess to clean up, I am certain.)  So, I just layed him down the last time, put the chupa back in his mouth and rubbed his little head a bit longer. 
I feel like I totally screwed up this morning!  Like all the work just went ptththhhh out the window.  I really hope it was just b/c it was a nap and those seem to be harder...

[Erin M]

I would go with the "it was a nap and those are different" thought for now, regardless of whether or not it is actually true LOL.  Don't worry about this morning - dd1 often comes and hangs out with us in bed in the AM after she wakes up and it hasn't messed up her sleep - likely he was so tired from the night before that it was too tempting to fall asleep there.  If the naps are wearing you down, just steal one by taking him out in the car, stroller, etc if he'll fall asleep there - less worry for you.  It really does sound like he's making progress though - those post-midnight wake ups have always been toughest for us -- it's like she has the energy to be up for awhile but still really needs to sleep.

[mari]

Kris, I cave at nap times too from time to time, I have other children to care for and find it really difficult to do WIWO at nap times.  Well done for last night though, it sounds like you are making progress.

[Colesmom]

wanted to send hugs and encouragement!  you are doing great

i'm thinking that maybe yesterdays nap didn't go so well because that little catnap in the morning meant he wasn't quite tired come naptime perhaps?  just a thought.

don't think the time in your bed undid all your hard work.

keep it up!!!

[DavidsMomma]

Hey all!  Last night was our best so far!  I have actually started putting David to bed earlier since he is so tired lately, we are done with bedtime routine by 7 and getting into bed then.  Last night WI/WO lasted for 20 minutes!!! AND I walked in less than 20 times, David was settling himself the rest of the time!  I am so happy to see progress with this portion of bed!  AND he woke up 3 times!  10:30, walked in less than 10 times, and he fussed off and on for about 20 minutes, tops.  Then 12:29, walk in 6 times.  At 3:30 when he woke I was just too tired to do anything, so I rubbed his head for just a minute.  And then he woke at 6!! 
For the nap today I decided we weren't having a repeat of yesterday, so I just laid him in the bed, told him I would stay until he fell asleep, and rubbed his head - less than a minute and he went out!!!  (That has never happened!)  Thank you Erin and Mari for letting me know that caving for naps wasn't so bad. 
I hope tonight is even better!!!
I can't express enough gratitude to everyone to there support and suggestions.  Keep 'em coming!  Thank you ALL!!!

[katriona]

this is wonderful news, kris. and how much happier must your LO feel with all that good rest!

don't be surprised by how much wonder an earlier bedtime can work -- we still can't get DS to go to bed any later than 6.30pm or he's just miserable. and that's after 12 hours the night before, and a 2 hour nap finishing at 2.30pm. i almost wonder when he's going to start to go to bed later! not that i don't love my evenings :-)

[mari]

That's great news Kris.  So glad things are looking up.

[jessica and emilys mummy]

I'm so pleased,it really does make all the difference.The pm'ing is great and I'll continue to support you through pm and with the other yummy mummys on here.
As Erin and Mari said,sometimes you just have to bypass the naps for the sake of your sanity.
As for being cold at night,if he's in fleecy pj's he should be fine,unless the room feels cold,they'll soon let you know if they're cold.I always have that worry cos Emily likes to sleep with no covers on and I always cover her up at night,then by morning they're off again.
So again,well done,keep doing those sit ups,it's amazing how much they take you're mind off of the screaming 

[Erin M]

[DavidsMomma]

Getting better each day!!!  Last night's bedtime, David put himself to sleep in 7 minutes!  Now, he still woke 3 times in the night, but after a few WI/WO, he is putting himself back to sleep.  I can't relay the excitement in words!  AND I woke him at 7 this morning!  So fabulous!!!

Here's another question for everyone, I would like to introduce a lovey to David.  Any suggestions as to how to try and get a 14 month old to understand?  During all of this, the only thing he has latched onto at his pacifiers.  When I go into his room, he has one in his mouth and usually one in each hand.  After everything calms, I will want to eventually wean away from the prop.  I thought it might be easier if the pacifier wasn't his lovey...  I am not sure how to get the concept across to David, any suggestions?

[mari]

You could take him to a toy shop to choose one and tell him it's because he has been such a good boy sleeping.  Make it a reward.  You will be surprised at how he will pick up on it.

Well done, I should be proud of your success

[DavidsMomma]

Thank you Mari.  I might try that, I am still worried he won't understand.  David has only just shown interest in something in that last few days as something that he is actually partial to, but it's a pair of snow boots he is wanting to wear everyday, don't think he can wear them to sleep - silly boy 
The nights still young, but I wanted to report that tonight I walked back in once and hadn't heard a peep after the first couple of minutes.  This is wonderful.  I hope this give others hope!  It has been really hard, and I am sure it will continue to be so, but I can't believe how wonderful my baby, excuse me, toddler is doing!
Of course I can come up with another question though, before getting into bed, David is grasping at me, holding for dear life.  I tell him it's ok when I put him in the bed, and he doesn't immediately cry, but it's kind of pitiful.  Will this subside?