nap help for 8 week old

[hkrmom]

Hello,

I've been trying to get my 8 week old on an EASY routine, but am having a terrible time with naps.  I've had her sleeping sometimes in a moby wrap,  in her stroller and had been trying to get at least one nap in her bed.  I have a 3 year old and mornings are tough so that's usually when I put her in the moby.  Then when I pick him up from school, I usually have her in the stroller.  I'm having a hard time figuring out how to get around those two times.

For the nap in her bed, I've been trying for the last couple of weeks and it's going terribly.  She typically cries when I start to swaddle her and hold her so we end up taking quite a bit of time just to calm down.  Then I shush and pat forever only to have her take a 45 minute nap (i usually shush pat until the 20 minute mark to make sure she's through the jolts).  I often sit in the room waiting for the 45 minute, but can rarely save the nap.   On occassion she'll got 1.5 - 2 hours, but it's rare.  I've tried to replicate that, but I can't figure out her awake times.  Sometimes I think I'm putting her down too quickly because it seems like no matter what I do, she cried.  As a result of the 45 minute naps, I feel like all I'm doing all day is torturing her and trying to put her down for a nap only to have her be incredibly overtired.  Then I resort to putting her in the stroller or the moby where I  know she'll get some rest   Please help, I'm losing my mind!

[creations]

Hi there, welcome to BW forums

Sorry, it looks like your post didn't get any responses yet. How are things now? Any change?

[jessmum46]

Hi and hugs, welcome to the forums

Thought I'd share my experience with LO2 as I thought it may help you (our age gap is about 2.5y).  I actually deliberately chose in the first 3 months to get naps whenever and however I could, figuring rest was more important than how it happened.  And that my DDs needs for entertainment, emotional connection, activity as a 2yo were every bit as important as DSs need for sleep - arguably more so. 

I did try for a crib nap a day but I did so very half heartedly at that age, as in, if DS didn't settle within 10-15 mins I gave up and put him in the Moby.  If I had chance later that day I might have another shot, but if not I just tried again the next day.  But again only for a few mins, I couldn't leave the toddler alone for hours on end.  I remember 8 weeks being a particularly tough time - it's the peak of crying, a wonder week, a growth spurt......suffice it to say crib naps just weren't going to happen.  Accepting that made me feel a whole lot less stressed.  But by 10/11 weeks there was a HUGE change with very little extra effort on my part.  I never shhhd/patted for hours on end, instead tried to pay really close attention to learning his sleepy cues and the times he'd settled easily in the Moby/pram and then when I tried for a crib nap I actually just put him down and stepped back.  If he got upset I stayed and stroked his head (he actually didn't like shh pat) but otherwise left him to it.  When it hit that 10/11 week mark I did the same as I'd been doing and all of a sudden he just went off, no fuss   I also deliberately chose not to resettle naps as doing that when DD was young had made me mega-stressed and miserable - and that was pretty liberating too

I know very much that Tracy said to start as you mean to go on, and I don't dispute the wisdom in that.  But I also know with more than one LO doing EASY in the textbook way isn't that practical.  I used to work on the first morning nap in the crib, that was the easiest time for us.  The ultimate goal was always independent sleep in the crib.  But that's a destination and there has to be a journey to get there.  Setting small goals helped - so initially it was just to establish a BT routine and a very loose EAS with roughly 3hrly feeds.  Then it was to get one nap in the crib etc etc. 

I used to time trips and outing for sleep time, so maybe heading out for a good walk a bit earlier than the school run if that means LO can get a good nap in the pram before pick-up, or we also took some 'scenic' routes back from activities for DD to get in a half-decent nap in the car seat.

I think it also helps to remember that daytime sleep rhythms take some time to mature.  There will always be those babies who slot into a 'perfect' routine with long naps from day 1, but I think they are the minority.  Naps will be short, variable, unpredictable for some time to come.  Getting A times right (around 1h-1h15 at 8 weeks is typical) will help but ultimately I think time is the best helper for getting routine established. 

Hang in there, it sounds like you are doing a great job

[hkrmom]

Thank you!! So helpful to hear that perspective! I've put so much pressure on myself and it has been so up and down, I've just been miserable. And feeling terrible about missing time with my 3 yo( he's already going through a rough transition with new baby and torturing the baby trying to get her in her crib (and me with an ot baby!)., it's helpful to take a little pressure off and know it's ok.  I'm optimistic about the next few weeks and hope things will start to improve naturally.  I know things got better with my son around then too.

How did you track the A time when you were out? I've been looking for her cues but find it hard in general and even more when she's in the stroller.  Anything in particular you did differently?

As things started to improve did you find it hard to transition from moby to bed? I'm nervous that if I have dd in the moby everyday she won't want to leave it! But want to get to point of going into the crib easy so I can get real time back with ds. 

thank you again!

[jessmum46]

I just kept a note of time DS woke and when he went back off, tried to get an idea of what sort of A he could handle.  But if we were out I just made sure he was somewhere he could sleep - so in the Moby or the pram and he could doze off when ready.

Everyone told me if I kept DS in the Moby it would be really hard to put him down.  But honestly I didn't find that.  He took naps in bed when he was ready