Oh, Jackie, I'm sorry. I was going to try to get back to you on some things you posted yesterday but haven't had time. I have often had those cranky day after no nap days!
Mostly, I wouldn't make no-nap assumptions based on our girls' current sleeping behaviors. They may grow out of this, or the naps may diminish. But generally they should nap til at least 2 1/2 or 3. Even my son, who was a terrible sleeper, napped until 3. Most of his friends STILL nap at 4. So I think these little girls of ours are working through their nap issues and they will get better.
I think your plan is perfect. Put Carmela down for at least 1 1/2 hrs every day, and then just get her up like normal if she doesn't nap. And try to get to a place where you don't stress the whole time about whether or not she'll sleep (I'm saying this to myself as well) - try to rest or get stuff done or whatever it is you like to do during nap.
There is another great book about sleeping that I lent to a friend - it's called Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Child by Marc Weissbluth. It has a lot of info on sleep habits by age, etc. Very wordy, but worth the read.