Up to an hour of pat/shh

[mich0902]

When my DD wakes up and it's not time to feed her (i.e. before 3:30-4 AM), it takes soooo long to get her back to sleep!  I need to pick her up and bounce her until her eyes start to close and then I put her in her bed and pat/shush until she's sound asleep.  Otherwise, she just fusses/cries forever and I just can't stand that with my older DS in the other room.  Doing pat/shh is one thing, but I wonder: how is she ever going to learn to go back to sleep on her own?  She breaks her swaddle, eats her blankie, her fingers, everything and everytime I left her trying on her own, after 20 minutes, the cries would just escalate and it ends up taking even longer for her to get back to sleep.  She doesn't wake up that often (1-2 times a night), but I wonder I'm going to teach her to go back to sleep.  Would pu/ pd be more effective?  Do I just let her cry a little?   Or is my technique OK and she will just learn eventually?

Any advice MUCH welcome!

Oh and she's almost 5 months old.

TIA!

Michele

[suzie767]

hi michelle, i have this exact same problem with my 11 week old except it is his day time sleep that he fusses and cries with. we never get a peep out of him during the night praise the lord!

pu/pd should be last resort but i know what you mean about shh/pat- it just doesnt seem to work and you feel like your doing it forever. it even got to the stage where my lo was crying while i was doing it.

do you ever give your lo a dummy? sometimes all a baby wants is a little extra sucklng time and they can help them sooth themselves. as long as your lo doesnt rely on it to get to sleep or wake up when it falls out your ok. it may be worth a try if you havent already as it sometimes works for me when nothing else will.

also is your little one waking up at the exact same time every night as this could be habitual waking which can be helped with w2s. if not and shes not waking up out of hunger and the dummy doesnt work the only other thing i can think of is that she may be getting too much sleep during the day?

can she ever get to sleep on her own ( ie during her naps?)

if you crack this problem please let me know as i seem to spend all day long trying to get my little one either to sleep or to stay asleep

thanks

suz

[mich0902]

Thanks for the quick reply!

A couple of answers to your questions...

Yes, she does manage to fall asleep on her own for her naps, not all the time, but it's getting better.  I never rocked her, but she loved being bounced in our arms as a newborn, so our version of pat/shh is to body-rock a little in her crib.  I don't know about the day sleep, during the last few days (hope I'm not jinxing myself here) she will sleep for 1.5-2 hrs in the morning, and 1.5-2 hrs in the afternoon.  The afternoon nap ends at about 2:30-3:00 PM, and I can't always get her to catnap, even though she's tired at around 5:30-6PM.  But the bedtime routine starts at 6:30-7 PM with her bath, last feed at 7-7:30 and then off to bed at 7:30-8 PM.  She sometimes cries before falling asleep as she doesn't fall asleep on the breast anymore, but sometimes we do have to body rock her again. 

As for the dummy, she has a blankie for her naps, but since we're still swaddling her at night, I didn't bother to put it her crib at bedtime, maybe I should try that.  But she's getting very good at unswaddling herself, so she just sucks on her swaddling blanket anyway... 

Since her wakings could be anywhere between 2-4 AM, W2S would be a little hard for mommy...   

Thanks again for the ideas! 

[suzie767]

no problem, sorry i couldnt be a little more help but i think this may be a case os "the blind leading the blind"

every baby has their little eccentricities, im quicky coming to the conclusion to just go with the flow. from looking at the other postings i think every baby in the world has times when they sleep like a dream and times of day when they are a little more awkward. i think e.a.s.y is more something to aim for rather than someting to conform to.

i think it will all work itself out in the end

 

[hoosiermama]

I have to tell you my son was born on Sept. 25th and he is exactly the same way.  He loves being bounced (we sit on the bed and bounce him).  Do you do a dreamfeed?  Mine is still waking up 2x at night to feed, and somtimes just for a bounce and his binkie.  We are trying to figure out what to do about it too.  He can somtimes settle himself to sleep, but not always.  Good luck!  Your not alone

[momofclaire]

Michelle- Can you post your daily sch? It would help to have a look at it. What do you do for a windown. Some babies respond very well to good long windown routine signalling bedtime.  I would not leave her to cry but if she is simply fussing do give her a chance to settle herself.   She will learn to sleep independantly but you have to teach her and be consistant. It's hard when mama is so tired but it will pay off. You are doing a great job.  Keep it up.

[mich0902]

Sure, here is this week's schedule.  We just moved to a 4 hr EASY, until now it's going pretty well.

Around 7 - wake up, nurse (she's not very hungry for this one, because of the 4 AM feeding)
Around 9 - nap
10:30 or 11:00 - wake up
11:00 - nurse
Around 12:30 or 1:00 - nap
2:30 or 3:00 - wake up
3:00 - nurse
(sometimes we manage a catnap here; works better if we're home, but sometimes I have to get my DS from daycare and she only sleeps for 10-15 minutes in the car and won't sleep when we get back home)
5:00 or 5:30 - nurse
7:00 - bath
7:30 - nurse
8:00-8:15 - sleep, sometimes some crying, sometimes not

The last two nights she was up at 2 AM; the first night, I managed to get her back to sleep and yesterday, after 20 minutes of fussing, she went back to sleep all by herself!      I was so thrilled, I couldn't go back to sleep myself!    She then woke up at 4 AM, I nursed her and she was back to sleep 20 minutes later.  If only all nights could be like these...!

But when I go and nurse her at 4 AM, am I ruining everything else?  I mean she went back to sleep on her own and 2 hours later, I nurse her back to sleep.  Isn't it confusing for her?

I think an earlier bedtime might be best, what do you think?  Also, she's been sleeping unswaddled for her naps and it's been going really great, but I'm scared of doing the same at night.  But when she wokes up, her arms are always free.

Thanks!

Michele

[momofclaire]

I think an earlier bedtime might help. I would aim to get her to bed at 7 or 7:30 at the latest.  Feeding her in the night and thus feeding her back to sleep at night are ok at this age.  She probably does need a feeding still at night. I don't think the confuses her.  As long as your don't nurse her to sleep for naps and at bedtime she will be able to learn to fall asleep on her own.  Could you adjust to let her have a cat nap around 4:45 or 5:00?  That would keep your A times better.  She may be more likely to take it there also.  Then like I said aim for bed at around 7.  I think you might find that your first waking (if we are lucky) will stop because right now I think you are putting her to bed a little over tired which messes with night sleep.