13 month old EMWs - how can i end it??

[Alexhas1]

Hi my DS is nearly 14 months and has woken early before 5am for nearly two months.

His schedule looks something like this:

Wakes crying in his cot between 4-5am (this morning it was 3.50am) - Try to APOP but it doesn't work and he just screams and kicks if I try and put him in his cot, and won't even take his dummy. End up bringing him in our bed where he shuffles and squirms around until we get up at 6am.

I try and push his nap to 10am ish (sleeps for 1-1.5 hours)

Lunch at 12

Afternoon nap between 1.30 and 2.30 for an hour

Dinner at 4.30/5pm

Bath at 6pm

Asleep by 6.30/6.45

Am I doing the right thing keeping him awake for such a long time on a morning? He seems ok? Should i be giving him a shorter earlier nap then a longer nap earlier on the afternoon?

Im confused?

Yesterday he only had one nap all day (1.5 hours at 10am) so I thought he might have slept longer but he woke even earlier this morning!

I have a DD nearly 3yrs so I can't let him cry for too long in his cot when he wakes early in case he wakes her up too and I am on my own for 4 days every 8 as DH works away.

Advice more than welcome!

[Martini~]

Hi Honey, I think that you are very much in 2:1 transition.
Have you read the link how to approach this transition? You can find in on naps board in FAQ. I cannot link as on my phone but if you cannot find it I will paste later.

In general nap as early as 10 for long time is enhancing him to wake earlier and earlier. So you either have to push it every couple of days by 15-30min (even with an EWU!) or you can start to cap it shorter and shorter and moving pm nap earlier until you can cut it out completely.

[Alexhas1]

Thanks. Yes I've researched but it's not easy as feel like we're in a vicious circle. Can't seem t get him to go any later on a morning. This morning he woke at 3.40am and I've pushed him as late as he can go this morning so he's now taking his nap (9.30am) what else can I do? He seems to be waking earlier and earlier but his a time before his first nap is being stretched longer and longer. He's done nearly 6 hours 'a' time this morning before flaking out.

Any other advice?

Shiuld I try and give him a 15-30 min nap earlier on to tide him
Over until his big nap after lunch?

Help!

[Martini~]

I think you have two options:
1) you don't treat 3:40 as a wakeup but as a NW; it means that no matter what he does, you stay with him in his room in dark and try to resettle; until the WU time which could be 6:30 or whatever suits you; as from 3:40 there is a lot of time I would say you will be able to resettle; than you wake him or her wake himself at WU time and you start the day from that moment pushing nap to be as late as possible
2) you put him down for a nap as you do but you shorten it by 15min every 3 days let's say; and than you bring pm nap earlier; if first nap is 1:30 it would take time to make him understand that's not the time to make up for the lost night sleep but he will get it

Is any of this option achievable you think?

[jessmum46]

Hi hun I wanted to pop on and offer some hugs, and also to second the great advice you've had from Marta.  What I have learnt from having my second LO is that some babies (my first -DD) will protect their night sleep and either short nap or refuse naps when things need changing.  However some babies (DS) will happily take their naps but very much to the detriment of their night sleep.  It has taken me rather a long time to accept this but thinking back I did have to 'make' DS drop both his 4th and 3rd naps, and I think the 2-1 is going to go similarly (we are already there at 9 months). 

The only thing I would add to Marta's suggestions (and I agree pushing and cutting the morning nap is the way to go in general for an early waker) is to consider trying a catch-up day first where you put him down as soon as you think you can after the early WU and follow his cues for a day or two.  With nights that short for so long he almost certainly has quite a bit of built-up OT.  This may not work though in which case you could try to AP a catnap say 3h after waking, just to get him through to a (short) am nap at 10am (say 10-10.30) and then a longer nap after lunch say at 1.30pm. 

Good luck, EWs are no fun for anyone xx

[Alexhas1]

Thanks ladies. I think I am going to have to try and get him back off by staying in his room. What's the best approach? I have tried not picking him up and just lying him back down but he gets hysterical and kicks his legs. Do I do this and stay in the room so he can see me or as if I'm hiding? Thanks!!

[Martini~]

If you decide on resettling I would try a gentle approach.
So I would stay in his room, either speaking to him but no eye contact or no speaking but having your hand on him. I would make sure he sees you so he doesn't feel abandoned. I would also try to resettle him once not more. So if you finally succeed, when he wakes take him up. I would try to push him for one nap then so let's presume scenario like that:
- 4:00 am WU
- 6:00 managed to resettle for 45min (if he sleeps longer, don't let him go past 7am?)
- 6:45am WU
- nap at 12:00
- BT at 7pm

Be prepared that first 2-3 days could be a nightmare, so try to start when you are ready & steady to go, no as quick as possible.

[Alexhas1]

Hi just wanted to write back with an update. Louis has slept through from 6.30-5.40 for the past two nights, back to what he was doing before!

I did as one of you suggested and put him down for a morning nap but capped it then put him down earlier for his afternoon nap and the next day it seemed to work. He woke at 5.40am (I can cope with this) so I kept him up until 11am after his swimming lesson and he had a good 1hr 45mins and a little bit of an earlier bed time. Then again today he woke at 5.40am so I kept him up until 11.15 and he's still napping now (it's 1pm) so hopefully we're on the home stretch of the 2-1 transition.

Although it will be more difficult some days to keep him awake on a morning if we are out and about in the car.

Thanks for your support ladies.
X

[Martini~]

Great update Hon.
It's fine it the transition period if they mix one nap and two nap days. You he goes for a sleep in the pram or in the car in the morning, just cap the nap and offer a pm nap.

[jessmum46]

Great news . I did as Marta suggested with DD and if she happened to EW or fall asleep unexpectedly I woke her after 20 mins then did a second nap around 3.5h later x