Help 2 yr old wont eat anymore !

[BJMum]

Hi all,

really stressed and wonder if anyone can help, my 2 (tomorrow) year old has always ate really well and had a good varied diet - any meat, loves fish, veg, some fruit sauces breads cereals etc  ... just really healthy dishes i make and freeze, however over the last couple of weeks he just wont eat anything and keeps asking for 'biscuits', which means chocolate/anything sugary.  I just don't know what to do, here is an example of what he ate today :

weetabix then toast for breakfast - ate half normally eats all
lunch - offered salmon in cheese sauce with veg and pots - refused (his favourite normally)
then offered cheese spread sandwich - refused
ate half a banana
nothing else till tea
offered beans and sausage which he loves - refused
offered porridge at supper - refused

all the way through this he asks for biscuits - and we either ignore him or say no - if you eat your meal then you can have one which he understands but says no 

i'm worried my my fretting over this is going to change it from a phase to a real problem, he went to bed tonight with no supper because i would not give in to him.   He has always loved his meals and never turned anything down, at the same time he has started tantrums and i wonder if because he is growing up he has reached the terrible two's !! what do i do !!!

worried stressed out mummy !!

[em_here]

If it makes you feel any better, I think its just as phase as my DS does this a lot. It sounds mean, but when he refuses, I say ok well you will be hungry, and no there is no biscuits, I take the dish away remove him from the table and will not give anything for a good 2 hrs, it works with him most of the time as he does not like being hungry. Also they will not starve themselves

I am also trying to not offer any sweet things at all at the moment so he does not expect them, if he knows dessert is at the end he will not eat his dinner, so I am not doing dessert at the mo

God I sound like an ogre but hey thats what works for me

[* Paula *]

I remember my DS went through a phase like this.  He would have snacks between meals and then refused to eat his meal as he knew that he would get a snack later.

We stopped the snacks and if we offered him his dinner and he refused to eat it, we took it away.  We would ask him a little while later if he wanted it if he said no, he would not get anything.  He would get his milk before bed and that was it.

It took about 2-3 days for him to actually grasp the concept and woke up really hungry in the mornings and would eat nearly 3 weetabix cause he had not eaten the night before.

Eventually it was like we had a different child - he started eating all his meals and knew that there was no snacks unless he ate all his food, but we did limit his snacks.

We always move the foods that our DS tends to like to snack on, and show him that there is nothing there - he seems to understand that too.

I do agree with Emma, a lo does not have the capacity to starve themselves, and will not let themselves go hungry.

Hugs, it is a phase and he will get through it.

Paula

[em_here]

Paula, thank you so much for saying that you do a similar thing to me, thought I was being really mean!

[* Paula *]

That is exactly what my HV told me to do.  She said they do not have the capability to starve themselves, and that they will eat when they are hungry and will eventually get the message that if they do not eat when it is given to them that there is nothing until the next meal time.

I thought it was mean, but after having to throw away meal after meal cause DS was not eating it, I thought about giving it a try.  I was not too worried as he was still having his full quota of milk in the evening.  He still slept through the night, did not wake up hungry in the early hours, but would eat a huge breakfast the next morning.

[sherilee]

My 2 year old has always been like this ever since weaning. Should I try this with him? Im so worried he will just go hungry as he is very very stubborn and strong willed. All he eats at the minute is fruit, chicken nuggets, sausages, chips ie all the really bad for you crap. My dh says he will grow out of it one day but Im convinced he will end up a really unhealthy adult.
xxx

[taygensmom]

As long as your LO is a healthy weight and has a good appetite (even if it is for "junky" foods) then it is very unlikely that they will go hungry. Personally I would jsut offer healthy foods for a week and don't give the option of "junk foods", especially if your LO has accepted these foods previously. If he/she refuses, then respect that, and say "Ok, you're all done eating". End the meal and don't make it a power struggle. I would also avoid the "if you eat ___ then you can have a cookie", as again this can create or perpetuate a power struggle. Once your LO understands that these are his choices and that you will not engage in a "fight" about it, but will not give junk foods, he/she will find foods that are acceptable within those choices. Just be very consistent, and after a week or so you should be able to add some sweets and "junk food" back in in moderation without it undoing all the work you have done! HTH

[* Paula *]

I agree with the PP, I would offer healthy options for a week and see how you get on.

[sherilee]

Thank you I will try that. Today I tried to disguise pasta by cutting it up really small and mixing it with grated cheese which he loves. He ate it if it was cheese but as soon as he put any pasta in his mouth he spat it all out sigh!

[* Paula *]

My DS will do this too, and if he does not eat it, I take it away and don't offer anything until the next meal.  He is usally pretty hungry for the next meal, and then will sit and eat his food.

At this age, they do also try to see how far they can push you and see when you cave in.

[MamaC]

Hang in there!  We went through something similar with apple juice (baby crack!) and then snacks.  We did the same thing:  offer it, doesn't eat so take it away until the next meal.  Actually what I do is I take away the plate and wrap it and put it in the fridge to reheat when he tells me he's hungry again.  My dh and I decided that we didn't want to be short order cooks and that ds would eat what we do and in due time, he does!  Now some nights he eats two bites and is done and others....clear out the cupboards!  Good luck!

[Katet]

I have 2 boys 4yo & 2yo. Their appetites vary from day to day, somedays they eat almost nothing & others if it isn't nailed down it stands a chance of being eaten.
One thing about asking for sugary foods is often when they are tired & want a quick fix & so it may be an idea to look at offering some protein at breakfast time as I notice on days my 2 have protein eg yogurt or cheese or egg at breakfast they eat better all day long.