15 Month Old Won't Eat Dinner

[sjshaw361]

My 15 MO son has always been a decent eater.  He's kind of picky, but always eats.  About a month or so ago he started getting very upset during dinner (breakfast and lunch are okay).  When all else failed my wife and I turned to a favorite DVD to watch while he ate.  This worked.  We didn't always use it, but when things got bad we did.

Slowly but surely we have had to use it more and more to the point where we now use it every night.  Now, in the past week, even with the movie he won't have dinner.  We take him out, sit him on our laps, try to distract him, but to no avail.  I feel like we have put ourselves in a bad spot and now I don't know how to get out of this hole we have dug.  We tried tonight to do without the movie and our son became so hysterical we couldn't calm him down.

Please help!

[LizzieN]

Hey there,
Hugs to you, my step daughter was SHOCKING when you tried to feed her. Screaming, vomiting, just horrible!!!!

First thing I would do is swap your meal around, give your LO his dinner at lunch time instead and then give finger foods at dinner time.  Sometimes they get so tired by dinner time that they associate that horrible feeling with having to eat.

If you don't already eat dinner together I would start now   Even giving your LO pieces of food off your plate for him to try.  No pressure if he wants to stick to his finger foods, but offered all the same.  It makes such a difference now and in the future if you all eat together

The next thing I would do is explain to your LO that when the family sits down to eat together we don't have the tv on, but once dinner is over we will all sit down and watch his fav dvd together for a few minutes.  He is old enough to understand that, just be consistent and only turn it on after dinner and you will probably break that association.

One other tip I have is that you can probably buy one of the booster seats for your LO now, so that he can sit up at the table with you...set up his "cutlery" and plate at the table with you both and praise him for being a big boy and eating with the family

Hope some of that helps, I would definately try the first tip for two reasons, first - you know then that your LO has had enough nutrition with or without the evening meal, taking the pressure and anxiety off you both, and second - LOs are so tired in the evening that they get upset at the drop of the hat, giving them choices when they are tired seems to help avoid melt downs

Good luck
xx Lizzie

[Mashi]

I agree with Lizzie that swapping lunch and dinner around helps in lots of ways.  I do find my DS is much more willing to eat at lunch time, and anything that I get into him I am happy because it's less that he needs at dinner.

But, at the same time, we are a family that sits down to dinner together, and DS gets what we have made for all of us to eat - so it can't always work that way.  If DS will be home late and dinner will be late so DS is not eating with us, then great...but it doesn't always happen.  Soooo sometimes I've got no choice and dinner is what it is.

One huge thing that I have found with meal times is that when the pressure is on, DS won't eat.  The more we let him eat what he wants, and get down from the table when he is done, the better things are.  Trying to encourage or bribe him into eating, no matter how "gently" it is done is disaster.  I put food out - whatever we are having plus at lest one nutritious thing that he WILL eat - and he eats what and how much he chooses to.  If that is 3 peas and a kernel of corn, well, that's all he chose to eat. I have to accept that he may not be hungry and that he knows what his body needs.  Toddlers may eat loads of food some days and then others just not need it...seems strange, but it's not that unusual.  Your responsibility as a parent is to provide healthy, nutritious food for your child, but to allow your child to eat how every much they choose.

One of my nutrition books says that a toddler consumes 85% of their calories by mid-day -- so breakfast, morning snack, lunch and afternoon snack -- and dinner is really just a top up.  While as adults we tend to eat most of our calories at dinner and so we think that toddlers should as well. But, if your son is eating well at breakfast and lunch, and having a couple of good snacks in during the day, then it's possible doesn't need as much as you think he does by dinner time and it could be some of his frustration.   


Are there other things possibly going on - is his food within reach, does he want a fork like you, would he rather eat from your plate than his own, does he want to feed himself, etc etc?

Anyway, I think I have lost focus on what your main question was....sorry.  Personally, I would tell him that the DVD is not on during dinner any more (or, it's only on Fridays, or whatever).  Sit him down, offer him his meal, and if he doesn't want to sit or to eat, let him up and away from the table - no sitting him on your lap to coax him, no attempting to distract him, just offer him his meal and if he doesn't want it, he isn't hungry for it. 

[mmom]

You have gotten good advice.  I was in the same situation as you and I had to realize that my LO was just not as hungry then.  I turned off the TV and we all ate together.  Like Mashi said, if he only ate a few bites, I let it be.  Good luck!