Second Opinion Needed

[misher]

Hello there,
Just wondering if someone could look at my sched. for the past two days and tell me where I am still going wrong. The past two days are pretty indicative of any given day during the week.  Basically we are all over the place with the timing.  We have been at this for over a month and I can't seem to get a regular routine going.  I try to  follow the suggested EASY routines posted on this board but short naps mess everything up.  I really want to help my DS and he has done so well in so many ways but we still are not there and I would love a little help. I am convinced that it is my A time that I need assistance with.


The good news...
-DS goes to sleep independently (with little fuss most of the time - may need occasional PUPD)
-weaned of his pacifier
-prop free - except for his lovey
-bf every four hours (unless our day is really off and naps have been a mess)
-going to sleep every night b/w 6-6:30

The bad news...
-days are very unpredictable except for feeding routine
-naps at different times from day to day. 
-naps on average run about 40 min. in length (some days they are as short as 30 min)
-no real consistent routine (time wise)
-three night wakings including the DF

Here is our last two days

Thursday:
6:15 - awake - happy, plays in crib
6:50 - bf
7:30 - 1tbs. rice cereal
8:15 - in bed after 2 hours awake time
8:22 - asleep for NAP #1  - 40 minutes

10:45 - bf
11:00 - in bed after 2 hours of awake time
11:15 - asleep for NAP #2 - 40ish minutes

cranky during A time

2:13 - asleep for Nap #3 after 2 hrs +13 minutes A time - 45 minutes
3:00 -bf

5:00 - tried for catnap but no luck

5:45 - bf
6:15 - in bed
6:30 - asleep

Night Wakings
7:44 - brief awakening - gave lovey and went right back to sleep
9:30 - awoke before DF so gave DF
2:00 - full feed

6:30 - awake to start day

Friday - today
I won't post the whole day again but his naps were at totally different times. Today I tried to lengthen his A times to just over 2 hours and his naps got really short (20 min-30 min.)  I know this means that he is overtired.
He was in bed by 6:00pm but cried and needed PUPD to settle.

Any advice would be much appreciated.  One more thing... I have tried to extend naps with very little luck.  I have received support from the napping board in the past. 
Many thanks.

[momofclaire]

What all have you done to extend naps? I think that is the biggest problem here?  Is there anything that could be disrupting sleep, milestones, sickness, pain, reflux?

[misher]

Thank you so much for responding. 

To extend his naps, I have tried w2s on several occasions. I would go in at the 30 minute mark or sit in his room and wait for the thirty minute mark to hit and gently move his arm. He would stir slightly. This worked on 2-3 occasions.  However, most of the time he would start thumping his legs which brings him right out of his sleep cycle.  I have also tried to hold through the 40 min. jolts as he jolts a lot both for falling asleep and at the 20 and 40 minute marks.  It is difficult b/c he sleeps with his hands above his head (this is how I know he is asleep) so I can put pressure on his hands and hold his legs but when he opens his eyes and sees me over the crib, he cries right away.  I have also tried to let him resettle by leaving him for 20-30 minutes in the crib if he is happy or a little fussy. He seldom resettles himself.  I always go in if he is crying.  I have tried to help him resettle by putting my hand on his tummy or covering his eyes but have only had luck one time.  Lately, I have not been trying to extend b/c I  have had little success. Sometimes we will go for a walk right after he wakes to see if he will fall back asleep in the stroller - no such luck.  Once to twice a week, he will extend his morning nap on his own.  I think that he survives the jolts and leg thumping and can get back to sleep on his own.  When he does extend, his naps are usually 1 hour 15 min. to 1 hour 45 min.  This is very rare and never happens twice in one day.

He is cranky and fussy when he wakes from a short nap.  When his naps go longer than one hour, he is like a different baby - so happy and cheerful.

I discovered yesterday that 2 hours+ is too much A time for him.  I am making this assumption b/c his naps got very short (20 min -35 min.) This morning I put him down after 1 hour 40 min. A time and he went to sleep with little fuss - eyes closed after 5 min. We are twenty minutes in.

I keep reading that babies start to extend their naps on their own around 5-6 months but we haven't had much luck here.  I am committed to helping him extend his naps as I know that he will be a happier baby.  In fact, we stayed home all week to be really consistent and work on the naps. I wanted to watch his cues really carefully and avoid missing the sleep window.   It wasn't any better than when we went out here and there the week before. I must say, I find his cues very difficult to read.

Another question, just wondering if the leg thumping is common when babies are falling asleep or coming out of a sleep cycle?


I really appreciate you help and time.

M

[momofclaire]

Is he still swaddled?  Could you try a sleep sac or gro bag?  Those may help limit his mobility enough to keep the jolts from bothering him.  The reason he is a happy baby if his nap goes over an hour is because naps generally aren't restorative unless they last longer than that.
Sounds like you are doing great paying attention to his cues. How did today's nap go? 

As far as the leg thumping, I think babies do all sorts of strange things as they discover that they can.     Just wait till he starts pulling himself to stand in the middle of the night and can't get back down. 

[misher]

Thank you for responding.

He does sleep in a gro bag which restricts some of his legs flailing.  His hands continue to be his biggest challenge. I tried bringing back the swaddle and he wanted no part of it.  He likes his hands free when he is falling asleep as his lovey helps him settle.

Our morning nap yesterday was the best one in weeks.  I kept his A time to 1 hour  and 40min. and he slept for 1 hour and 30min..  I have looked back on my notes at noticed that I have tried this amount of A time before with different results.  On a few occasions, I put him down after 1 hour +40 and he played in his crib for 40 minutes before going to sleep and then slept for 40 minutes.  I guess this is why I am so confused.

Yesterday morning,  I watched him on the video monitor and he stirred (almost violently) at the 20, 30 and 40 minute mark.  Luckily he didn't wake up.  After the 40 minute mark passed, he slept soundly for the next 50 minutes.    Our afternoon was another story.  He slept 25 minutes for his next nap and then 20 minutes later on (I had to do PUPD to get him to sleep for this one). He wouldn't resettle for either afternoon nap, even with my help.  He was very overtired by bedtime, needed PUPD to get to sleep and had several night wakings.

Today I put him down for his morning nap after 1 hour +30 A time as he seemed tired.  He cried a little at first and now is trying to settle himself with his lovey.  I will see how this morning goes. 

I guess I am unsure of how to proceed.  I know that he can make it past the 40 min. mark on occasion so I don't know whether to put him down for naps and leave him or go in around the 40 and try to settle him when he stirs?  Most of the time, he can't get past the jolts. 

Thank you for your support.

[momofclaire]

You are probably, because of his age in the midst of a growth spurt which will unfortunatly complicate things.  What kind of windown do you do?  Also, do you know what type of baby you have, Angel, Textbook, Spirited...sometimes knowing that helps to determine what kind of things to do to help. 

The violent stirring is something that gets easier as they get older.  He will learn to get through it.  How did today go?

[misher]

Hi there,

Thanks again for responding.

When I originally did the BW q & a, my ds came out a textbook baby but when it comes to sleep, he seems nothing of the sort.   So, I am not sure what kind of baby he is to tell you the truth.  Spirited perhaps.

Our winddown is the same for every nap and we have a similar (almost identical one for bedtime)
1. walk around and close all blinds
2. diaper/gro bag
3. soft music
4. sit in glider, give lovey, read story
5. say the same phrases over and over before laying in the crib.
6. lights out and Mommy leaves


We always have quiet activities leading up to the winddown.

Today was mixed again.  This morning's nap was great. He went down with a little fuss but managed to settle himself in 20 min. He slept for 1 hour and 30 minutes.  I kept his A time following this nap to 1 hour and 40 minutes.  He cried going down for nap 2 and wouldn't settle, even with PUPD.  I was at PUPD for 40 minutes and then took a 10 min. break as Tracy suggests (because he was screaming so hard) and then was back at it for the rest of the nap period.  This is why I am so confused and frustrated.  He couldn't have been over tired at at the start of the nap period.  He did get overtired during the nap time as PUPD lasted more than one hour.  After one hour + I gave up and took him for a walk in the stroller - he was out immediately.  I came straight home and he slept in the stroller for one hour + 10 min..  Tonight he took a catnap in the car when I went to pick up my dh.  He slept for 30 min. from 5:15 - 5:45.  We did our regular routine and he went down at 7:00.  He cried a lot and my dh had to do PUPD for 15 min. to help him calm down.  He is still fussing in his crib trying to settle and get to sleep. It is now 7:45pm. 

I just don't understand why we have some easy put downs and some where  he is so upset. Over tired is a logical conclusion but sometimes the A times are less than two hours.  I know he can't do more than two hours as I have tried.  Is it "normal" to have a week of good put downs and then a several days of PUPD and screaming at nap or bedtime? I know regression is typical but we have been at this for more than one month.  Just trying to figure out where we are going wrong.

Thanks for your support.

[momofclaire]

After his first nap, was he showing tired cues at 1 hr 40 min?  They tend to be able to handle slightly longer A times throughout the day.  When you say a month, was everythng fine before that? Is he teething? Is there anything that could have happened a month ago, like a sickness or something?

[misher]

It is very difficult to read his tired cues.  I was going more by the time if anything. 

Sorry, what I meant by one month is that we have been implementing the BW strategies for just over one month. Before this time, he wasn't in a regular routine - or I wasn't trying to get him on a regular routine. For example, he was feeding more often than every four hours and I tried to put him down for naps every two hours with out considering his A time. His naps were around 30 min.    I read the BW book just over a month ago, became more informed and my DH and I went full force to implement the four hour EASY. Although we saw improvement in the first week or so, I don't feel that much further ahead of the game now.  We still have to use PUPD for some put downs and extended naps are few and far between.

No major milestones. According to my doctor, he isn't teething yet.  Has not been sick.

This morning, I put him down after 1 hour and 40 b/c he seemed a little dazed.  This is the only cue I notice and I can only see if first thing in the morning. I watched him on the video monitor and he started to close his eyes after a few minutes of being in the crib.   Then his eyes popped open and he lay awake talking and playing for twenty more minutes (putting him past the 2 hour mark).  He only slept for 40 minutes. I am assuming that the extra 20 min. of play time made him over tired, thus the short nap.  Does A time work this way?  ie. 5-10 min. either way can make a big difference?

Do you think that I put him down too soon yesterday afternoon and that is why he cried so much? 

Thanks for your help. Your thoughts are much appreciated.

[momofclaire]

I think it is most important to watch his cues. Most babies his age can handle 2-3 hours A time.  Overtired is a cummulative thing IMO.  One bad nap can cause a baby to be tired but overtired is probably caused by mulitiple bad naps or nights. 
Here is a link you may find helpful.
https://babywhispererforums.com/index.php?topic=64158.msg476652#msg476652

I wouldn't worry about the clock so much but instead pay close attention to your baby, his cues, body language.  Sometimes at this age I think they may get bored and it can look like tired.  Have you checked out some sample easy sch?  Doing that may help you get a picture of what other 6 month olds are doing. Here is that link.
https://babywhispererforums.com/index.php?topic=10386.0

Sleep training takes time, patience and consistancy.  It may seem as you are getting nowhere but you have only been at it a month.  Hang in there. It will be worth it in the long run.