Tips/ support on How to cope with evening fussiness/constant nursing?

[cuckoochick]

Ok it seems I have another v sucky baby. I know it's early days and there are constant growth spurts etc but last night Georgia would just not settle and was constantly searching for the breast for almost 5 hrs until she eventually conked out. Everything you read says it's normal and that you have to just go with the flow and accept it
http://kellymom.com/parenting/parenting-faq/fussy-evening/

And I keep telling myself it will pass but C was like this until about 4mos and being stuck in a dark room with a constantly rooting baby, falling asleep and then startling and rooting f or the breast every 10 seconds for hours really took its toll on me and for sure was a huge factor in my PND. DH has tried to settle her but she just gets frantic. I know she's not starving because she's comfort sucking. We kept trying a dummy and one time she did suck it for about 5mins and fell asleep but then woke up and after that wouldn't tolerate it being in her mouth again! C was exactly the same I know this might not be the same as C but the thought of months of this just led me to being anxious last night as I cannot go down the PND route again. I can't.

So any ladies who are going Through or have btdt how do you survive? I know I have to change the way I feel about this but any tips/hugs would be appreciated. Do i just have her downstairs and watcj tv and just go with it or persevere in the dark bedroom Etc? I just hope this phase passes quicker than it did with C. It's seriously making me want to move to formula feeding because I just think how am I going to cope with the exhaustion of these nursing sessions, NFs and then a toddler to look after?

Thanks

[*jazzberry*]

No expert hon but I would (and did) definitely be downstairs with dh in front of the tv, especially at this young age. She is soooo little, I wouldn't worry at this stage. (((Hugs))))

[<Catherine>]

I agree. No real experience as DS2 isn't too bad in the evenings, but he's not in his bed until I am. So unless I try to get an early night, he's downstairs with us until his last feed at around 10pm.

Hugs lovely xxx

[anna*]

Get out of the dark room. Set yourself up in front of the telly, get DH to bring you some drinks and snacks, magazines, chocolate, make the most of the enforced 'feet up' time.

[twogirlsmommy]

totally agree with people.  Get out of the dark room.  Our room has a tv in it so we would put dd1 to bed and then go upstairs and watch tv up there or just hang downstairs till we were all ready for bed. 

[ZacsMumme]

Get out of the dark room. Set yourself up in front of the telly, get DH to bring you some drinks and snacks, magazines, chocolate, make the most of the enforced 'feet up' time.

This!

[anna*]

(pS, I wouldn't expect most newborns to be going 'to bed' until 10-11... Bedtime usually/often doesn't start coming earlier until 8-12 weeks. Do what you need to do FOR YOU to get through this intact)

[Fiver]

I always started off by trying to get DD to bed at a bedtime, but if she wasn't up for settling felt no guilt in bringing her back down either to feed or be with us asleep in the sling.

[Shiv52]

(pS, I wouldn't expect most newborns to be going 'to bed' until 10-11... Bedtime usually/often doesn't start coming earlier until 8-12 weeks. Do what you need to do FOR YOU to get through this intact)

Yup this.

No dark rooms at this early stage Hun. Just do what she needs and stay downstairs with DH and enjoy her xx

[michaeljacknnugg]

Agree with pp, do whatever works for you. And congratulations!

One thing that enabled us to put ds down in his early days was the lights setting on the playmat (fisher price rainforest one). He was mesmerised!

If you have anything like that, is it worth a try?

[cuckoochick]

Thank you ladies
I'm definitely having a few emotional days. Mil and FIL reduced me to tears today with two totally innocent comments. Well I am taking the advice. Downstairs with trashy Waterloo rd on telly, DH is bringing me strawberries and cream and chocolate fridge cake. I feel more chilled and G is not so frantic tonight. She's plugged on!  We swaddled her this afternoon and she napped better but the MWs have been v insistent that we don't.

Thank you for all your support. I just can't face the dark or PND but think if I just try and go with the flow more that will help. Thanks

[anna*]

Swaddle! (Just don't tell the MWs)

[<Catherine>]

Swaddling here too.....gasp!!! Trust your instincts lovely x

[anna*]

And hun - courage. Baby blues is normal. Enjoy tha chocolate cake!

[michaeljacknnugg]

Just out of interest, why are they discouraging you from swaddling?

[<Catherine>]

I *think* it's against SIDS recommendations.

[michaeljacknnugg]

Clearly things have changed since I had a nb... It has been 5 years!

[cuckoochick]

Overheating (SIDs) and problems with hips but from reading there is just so much contradictory stuff out there. We swaddled C and found it a brill sleep cue as well as helpig those waving arms. We're not swaddling her tightly and will probably move to a woombie quickly (I need to order a first size summer one) as we found that useful to transition C to a gro-bag.

Catherine are you just swaddling with a vest and nappy or a sleep suit too? I'm worried about her being too hot/cold.

Oh and ladies she's asleep! on my lap but asleep. Going to watch the apprentice and reminisce about this time last week when my waters popped at 10:30pm!

[Shiv52]

I *think* it's against SIDS recommendations.

When I had M they said to swaddle. After R it was a big no no. Research then said overheating was one of the main contributors to SIDs and swaddles had been linked to overheating. Research changes so much though. When I had M co sleeping was a huge NO and with R they actively encouraged it. I even got a leaflet on BFing and safe co sleeping. 

Do your own risk assessment Hun. R would NEVER sleep on her back ever. Only on her side. I asked my lovely MW and she said that definately no tummy sleeping but she could get on board with side sleeping so you do have to do what suits your baby too xx

[Shiv52]

Enjoy the apprentice. Hard I believe she's only a week old. Definately keep out of those dark rooms xx

[<Catherine>]

He's in a sleep suit, I don't think he's too hot at all. He's on his side too. I ended up with ollie as a tummy sleeper, deliberated over it for so long but wish I'd had faith in myself sooner as it was the only way any of us got any sleep!

[cuckoochick]

Yep G loves being on her side too and also in our bed!!! These LOs know what they like eh?!

[Georgena]

I was swaddling and our room was 28-30 degrees every night, i did worry a bit but i used a very light weight gro bag swaddle and a little sleevles onsie,she was fine, if i felt she was too hot id use a muslin massiv size, from amazon!! And yep, at the begining i kept her down stairs with us and took her upstairs when we went to bed, it worked out fine and she sleeps well in her own room and at a decent time now, so it didnt cause any problems in the long run! Enjoy the tv!! 

[Fiver]

Both of mine were side sleepers (DS for reflux, DD just because she liked it better).  We did a light wrap for her to go to bed rather than a tight swaddle and she wasn't too hot, but we had to leave an arm out because she found her thumb so early.

[*Ali*]

The Woombie manufacturers claim their product doesn't lead to overheating or the problems from limited mobility like traditional swaddle does so maybe move to that earlier if you are worried. FYI Summer Infant Swaddle Pod http://www.amazon.co.uk/baby/dp/B003FUZF98 and Mamas and Papas http://www.mamasandpapas.com/product-swaddle-shell-jamboree/7346j0100/type-i/ both do a much cheaper alternative to the first size Woombie if you need to buy one. I have bought all threes and the only thing I can see different is that the Woombie has a tab across the zip at the top.

I can also vouch for sitting in the living room with the TV in the early days until we went to bed. Enjoy the snuggles.

[lily_layne]

Evenings were the same here for the first few months and I dreaded them until I discovered Dr. Karp's 5s's.  You can see a video clip here: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LXqOxQKSCaU.  The white noise and tight swaddle were essential.  it was such a relief after weeks of constant nursing and crying in a dark room (I wasn't smart enough to plant myself in front of the tv) to be able to help DD calm down and sleep.  We didn't start using this technique until 7 or 8 weeks but I think it would have worked great when she was younger.  The first few nights it took quite a while to get her calm using it but within a few days I could get her from screaming to asleep in 5-10 minutes.  I used it so much that I think I was headed towards carpal tunnal syndrome from all of the jiggling

[roseola]

Definitely come out of the dark room, And enjoy your cake!

What!?! No swaddle!?! I'm in the dark ages and DS is only 3.7m! I didn't swaddle DS until I read BW when he was 3 months old and was looking forward to starting earlier this time around...

[cuckoochick]

Thanks for those links Ali

We're using a gro swaddle but think I will order one or two of those swaddle pods as our woombie isn't newborn size.

[cath~]

Bit late to this but L had fussy late-afternoons evenings too when she was a NB. I fed her almost every hr for about 3hrs I think and popped her in a sling between feeds so I could eat some dinner. (She would never sleep on my lap ).
Then at about two months I think I tried putting her down at BT (at 7pm) and was utterly amazed that she went to sleep! DH came home and was flabbergasted to find me alone in the kitchen cooking dinner for him!

Hugs Hun. It is a really tough period but like everyone is saying just try to make it as easy on yourself as you can and enjoy those snuggles!

[ZacsMumme]

The 5 Ss helped T a lot too even though we found them late! ( Lilly's link)