At the end of my rope with night wakenings

[murbot78]

Hi All
I am new to the group.  I have read through some of Secrets of the Baby Whisperer today and think I have my 7-month old on a EASY routine somewhat.  My problem is that he is up a minimum of 3 times per night, most often 5-6 times and I am exhausted. 
He was born at 36 weeks and was miserable for the first 3-4 months of his life.  He is happier these days but fairly high maintanence.
We sleep trained him at nearly 4 months, and he goes to bed quite easily and naps easily for the most part.  The problem is he wakes about every 2-3 hours during the night, sometimes more often.  He has started over the past 3 weeks to screaming, not just crying, when he wakes.  I have tried leaving him for 5-10 mins before going into his room, but he does not go back to sleep and he cries louder.  He will only settle if I nurse him back to sleep.  I am aware that he is using me as a pacifier.  Please help me stop this!!

[Smurfette]

((((hugs!!)))

Can you post your easy from the past day or so for us to have a look at?

[murbot78]

Here's today thus far:
7:45 am- he woke up, I nursed him, changed him, then brought him out to play with his brother and I. He had some cereal about 8:30. We went out for an hour or so then we came home and he went for his nap after I nursed him at about 10:20.
He woke at noon, I nursed him the changed him the he had some puréed veggies. We played for a bit, went to the library, then ce home. At about 2:15 he took. 2 oz of formula and went for a nap at 2:30. Slept till 4:00, I nursed him then he came out to play. He had dinner with the family at 5:30 played for 1/2 hr with daddy then a bath. I then put him in his sleep clothes, nurse him and cuddle and then to bed awake.
He will likely be awake in the next 1-2 hrs then every 2-3 hrs until the morning.

[Smurfette]

So wake up from the last nap was at 4 and what time was bedtime?

[murbot78]

Bedtime was 6:30 and he was asleep shortly before 7:00.  He only briefly nursed before sleep.  I will add that he has always been somewhat of a grazer; never really nursed for more than 8 mins.  He has been on solids for about 2 months and has a very good appetite.  I have only recenlty (last week) been giving him some formula in a bottle, he refused a bottle until recently. 
The routine for today is pretty much our daily routine with times being slighly varied depending on his brother's schedule, etc.  My older son had a schedule as well, still does, and I think they are great.  I really don't know why my baby is wakening so often; I don't believe his is hungry.

[murbot78]

Well last night was a really bad night 
He was up every 2 hours, even every 1.5 hrs.  His first wakening, at 9;30 we waited 20 mins or more to see if he'd settle and when he didn't, my husband went in with a bottle and he drank it (2 oz). 
2 of his wakenings he did go back to sleep after some time without intervention and the rest I nursed him.  I am too tired to think of doing anything else at this point.  I feel so defeated and exhausted.

[Smurfette]

Hi
 is he teething or going through any developmental milestones right now like rolling or sitting up, etc?
Does he normally wake at 7:30 and bed at 6:30?

[murbot78]

I don't think he's teething. He has woken at night frequently all along. He is not going through any milestones, no. He might be having a growth spurt however. He always goes to bed at that time as he is very tired by 6 and clearly ready. He wakes sometimes at 5 or 6 actually quite often, and I will usually get him back to sleep till 7-7:30.

[Smurfette]

He wakes sometimes at 5 or 6 actually quite often, and I will usually get him back to sleep till 7-7:30.

Do you feed him to get him back to sleep here or does he go back down independently?

If there is no illness-reflux, teeth, colds/flu, etc then
I would control the wake up and not let him sleep past 7, I would then shift his naps closer to 8:30/9 ish and 12:30/1 so that they are falling closer to his natural biological nap times. If you don't do the cat nap anymore or have recently dropped it, then bedtime needs to be early. I would say anywhere from 3-4 hours after wake from the last nap-even earlier if he's having a rough day or not very good naps.

I would also say that you need to be really consistent in your soothing methods-if you nurse him back to sleep sometimes and then other times wait 5-10 mins, and then other times do something different, then you're going to confuse him as to what's expected of him. You need to find a method that works for you and that you're comfortable with and stick to it. I know it's hard, but consistency is the key-and getting the nap times right.

Let me know if you have any more questions.

[murbot78]

Thanks-- he is actually napping now (it's 8:50) and was up at 6:40.  He had been napping as you suggested for several weeks, then he was all of a sudden wide awake a that time of hte morning, so I moved his naps later and his bedtime still about the same.  But he was less cranky in the late afternoon/supper time.  I will put him down for a second nap around 12:30 today.  I decided last night to change the night routine permanently; no more night feedings after 10pm.  His dad fed him a bottle at 10 and he slept till 2-- I went in quietly and put a soother in his mouth, which up until now, despite our best efforts, he would not take.  He took it no problem! And again at 4.  I will stick to that consistently.  Suggestions for what I do when he is screaming his head off at various points in the night?  I want to be consistent; I know from my older son it is the key to happiness for everyone.

[Smurfette]

Well whatever you take away from night feeds, you need to make sure you add to his day feeds.
There is also a school of thought that thinks that feeds before midnight tend to increase night wakings, so may not want to do a 10 pm feed, but rather a bedtime feed and then decide on what time of night feed you want to give.

If you find that he is waking by 7 and still having trouble taking the morning nap, then you may want to wake him a touch earlier. If you find that he wakes by 7 and goes down fine for the morning nap, but has trouble or refusing the afternoon one, then you may need to cap the morning one by 15 mins or so to see if that helps. Either way,  I wouldn't let him sleep past 11 (assuming he naps at 9) b/c it will make it harder to get the pm nap in as he gets older.

I would also caution against repluggin everytime he wakes at night-b/c if he can't do it himself, then you're just replacing one sleep prop for another, you know? Ultimately you want them to self soothe with no help from you-of course unless they're sick or in pain, etc.
Does that make sense?