new here and need help!!!

[Ktdid]

First let me say I have not read the books yet--I am trying something new with dd but feel like its failing.  My dd is 15 months and has started napping poorly.  She used to take 2 naps per day until 3 weeks ago.  Then we got messed up somehow.  Previously I used CIO for sleeping and it worked without too many major battles.  Not anymore.  She will scream bloody murder as long as it takes. Bedtime is no battle at all.  We do our routine and she is out.
WHen this started it got to the point that when I started the nap routine she would freak out (I would read books on a bed to her).  She would try to run away.  Then when I would get near her crib she would scream.  For days she slept only in the car. I finally gave in and talked to her ped. We decided to do one nap right after lunch and I moved her lunch up and give her a bottle.  She suggested since CIo was not working to stand by the crib and hug and and speak softly  until she gave up and slept ( I also did a new routine--watching a video before nap).  It worked after about 25 minutes.  Next day she didn't cry when I put her in but paced back and forrth and would not settle down or let me touch her.  I eventually had to take her out b/c she pooped and after changing her I stood and rocked her in my arms which helped and then layed her down and she slept.  Next day we had to travel so she slept in the car.  Next two days we had a repeat of the running. When she does that sometimes I leave and today I also tried just laying on the bed in her room where she could see me from her crib and singing or praying with my eyes closed.  Didn't work.  Eventually after leaving a couple times an letting her cry a couple minutes she let me rock her in my arms until she got drowsy and let me lay her down.
I KNOW I am being inconsistent.  But I am at a loss on how to handle her hyper behavior once she is in bed. I am going to try and call her ped today but in the meantime I was wondering if you all had any thoughts.  I heard that this method I am using is similar to what the Baby Whisperer suggests...

[Ktdid]

I forgot to add--she wakes around 5:30 and I am trying a nap around 12-12:30 (but she doesn't fall asleep until later). She goes to bed around 6:30 or 7pm. 

When I run errands in the morning she sometimes starts to pass out...but when she naps in the morning it seemed like she couldn't nap in the afternoon

[Lavinia]

Hi there,

There's a lot of information here.  I think you've identified one of the problems yourself, you are being inconsistent; that coupled with the fact that dd is chaning her sleep habits. 

Gracie was about 14 months when her sllep habits started to change and she went from two naps to one.  It probably took 4-5 weeks before it settled out.  She has always been a good sleeper till that point.  She also had some family issues, the loss of my mum and the arrival of her baby borther complicated everything.

Can I ask that your daily routing is?  For example, for Gracie at 15 months (after the sleep problem had resovled) it was something like this:

Wake at 7.15am
Cuddles and play till 8am
Breakfast 8-8.30am
Play 8.30 - 10.30am
Snack
PLay till 12ish
Lunchtime 12-1.00pm
Sleep 1.00-3.00pm
Play 3.00-4.30pm
Dinner 4.30-5.00pm
Play 5.00-5.45pm
Bath
Bed by 6.30pm

The routine was very much driven by Gracie.  Some days if she'd had a very busy morning, she would sleep a bit earlier but I've rarely let her sleep longer than 2 hours. 

I think as a parent you read all the books and particularly when its your first baby, (I had no idea)! it can be difficult.  I'd thnk about how you can add some structure to your day but take little steps to acomplish them.  It may take a couple of weeks.  I have to say, just as you think you've cracked the problem, you get a few weeks of calm and then they do something else that's new and you don't quite know what to do about it!!  All I can say, it's easier second time around. 

Hope this helps a bit.  Good luck and let us know if you have anymore questions

Lavinia
Happy Holidays x

[Lavinia]

p.s.  read the books - they are truly amazing.

[Carmela's Mom]

A few things that I would think would help you.

1) No video before nap.  I think videos are stimulating and I know with my DD I can't have tv on or video on for two hours before nap/bedtime or else she is way too stimulated.

2) Try an earlier nap ... 5:30 to 12-12:30 is a long time when first going to one nap.  I remember my DD also went to one nap at 14 months and at first we did 10:00..then 10:30..then 11:00 and it wasn't until 19 months that I could get her to 12:30 consistently.  If your baby is falling asleep in the car, it's a sign that you need an earlier nap.

3) If you go for the earlier nap, then bedtime can stay at 6:30 BUT if you keep the nap at 12:30, I suggest moving the bedtime back.  I just think that 3 hours of wake time before bed is not enough.  So I'd make the schedule more like this:

5:30 a.m. wake
11:00 nap (with lunch before or after nap...with 11:00 nap I used to do after nap)
1:00 lunch
6:30 (or 7:00) bedtime

I think with this schedule you'll find a later wake time as well.

Good luck!

[Lan]

I agree with the earlier nap if she's waking early, I'd also give her a small snack at 10 am to make sure she's not hungry when it's naptime.

Lan

[Ktdid]

Thanks for your responses :-)  I bought the book today and I am going to read it in my "free" time (ha--lol!).  My ped made the same suggestion about an earlier nap.  But since she only naps about an hour and a half, she will probably be up by noon or so.  Won't she be a major pill by dinnertime?  I guess part of me thought that it was better to stretch the time between waking and nap then nap and bedtime.  Maybe I am missing some insight here?
Ped also said skip the video too.  I never wanted to do that routine but she always seemed sleepy when I put a video on in the past and she was getting so angry when I would read books (our original routine). I didn't want her to cringe everytime I took a book out.  I will have to find some way to make it more enjoyable.  Last time I tried it she hopped off the bed and ran.  She is a very petite 15 month old so you know she really hated it if she was willing to dangle her little body over the edge to slide off!  She also suggested staying in the room-skip the back rubs while she is in her crib since she just seems to get keyed up. She said to tell her mommy is going to take a nap and lay down and pretend to sleep--anyone try that? 

I am going to look into more structure too.  Part of the problem is that we are living with my in-laws since October--hubby got a new job and we are waiting for our house to sell.  I plan on going to my parents for all of next week as a break--I worry that it will make things worse but maybe I will have a better routine by then.  Or perhaps the change will get us out of the rut.

[Carmela's Mom]

Going to one nap a day is NOT easy.  And yes there are going ot be times where her wake time at some part of the day is a little long.  Right now if she goes down at 11.  She will then be up at 12:30.  12:30 to 6:30 is a long time, so you may even try 6:00.  But you may find by putting her in at 11:00, she sleeps 2 hours.  My daughter still fluctuated between 1.5-2 hour naps.  1.5 being "average". 

What time was she going to bed when she was taking the two naps?  If she was going to bed at 6:30 then, then you may even more want to try 6:00 now with one nap.

Good luck!  It's so hard when there is no routine.  Even now at 20 months, my daughter is trying to give up naps.  So you just never ever get out of the "yuck phases"