What to do if have been rushing in too soon?

[ashersmom]

Hello---

HELP!

My husband and I have always rushed into our DS room when he begins to fuss.  We never really have let him fuss too much without going in to do PU/PD.  We have held a little too long on PU/PD and are trying to slowly fix this....but what do we do if DS is used to us coming in very soon after he starts fussing, and so now fussing quickly turns into all out crying if we don't rush in??  I have a hard time telling the difference b/n fussing and crying these days,  as what I thought was only 2 minutes of fussing the other night was actually a flood of genuine tears!    I NEVER would have guessed he was truly upset.  Anyway...any advice on how to break this habit?  Because DS wakes quite a bit in the night STILL (he's 8 months old!  Shouldn't he be sleeping thru??!!!) and I know it's because we've responded to quickly.

TIA!

[Jaime]

i was also really bad at telling the difference.  with luke, i noticed that if he was fussing, i went in, and his cries escalated rapidly - i never should have gone in in the first place. 

at 8 months, separation anxiety may be starting.  what really helped me was to work on object permanance.  when he cried, i'd go in & soothe him until he stopped (we did pat/shh cause it still worked).  after he was calm, i'd turn around & leave.  if (when!) he started wailing again, i'd go back & repeat.  a lot.  the first few days i think it took 45 minutes before he was finally satisfied & went back to sleep.  but then the time started to decrease, and he went back to his normal self again.

HTH