Pre-Nap Wind-Down Routine Help

[BrandyM]

Can anyone please tell me what their pre-nap routine looks like, and how long it takes?
Also, do you start on it AFTER you see LO's sleep cues, or do you induce sleepy cues during the wind-down?

My DS is 4 months now and it is getting harder and harder to read his sleep cues.
He is not fully on a 4-hour EASY (naps are too short and crazy) but he should only be up 1h30-2h, right? But if I wait for cues, he seems to be okay forever! So I go into a pre-nap routine about 30 min prior to nap time to make him drowsy but he either 1)is OT and gets cranky, or 2)is UT and stays up way past 2 hours.

My routine at the moment: change dipe, sing while holding/rocking, put in swing until he zones out, move to crib and shush/pat.

[Florena49]

Hi Brandy

Have you done the baby quiz? Do u know if your LO is textbook, spirited?

Here we dont have a long wind down routine, we go upstairs 5 minutes before he is due a sleep, close te blinds, i hold him and start singing, he fusses a little and i put him into the cot and leave.
As they get older their sleepy cues become unreliable. And they often yawn and get fussy because they are bored, OS or just want to do something different.
I remember at 4 month we had to watch the clock a bit more as his eye rubbing and yawning was so unreliable.

As for crazy naps this is prime time for these, 4 month old regression.

What A time do you aim for? On average babies can stay awake 1.45-2h.

[BrandyM]

Hello Florena49!
Thank you for your response!
Wow, I wish our wind-downs were that easy. However did you get your LO to settle down by himself?! 

We are slowly drifting towards the 2 hour A time now, although I am a little concerned about spacing out BF to 4 hours, whether it will affect supply (been looking around the BF forum on this topic for related posts).

Sometimes it takes so long for DS to go to sleep that A time exceeds 2 hours. I am trying to make him sleepy during the wind-down, but it's a struggle. Does this mean that the A time is not tiring enough?!

[Florena49]

He is an independent sleeper and has been since just after 4 month, so unless he is really OT or in discomfort he falls asleep himself.

In regatds to BF i would say post on the BF forum, we were on 4 hour easy because we had all the signs that it was times, small feeds, fussy on the breast, once we moved to 4 hours he started taking full feeds and seemed more content. No issue with supply here, im still exclusively BF him. Some babies arent ready for 4 hour feeding until closer to 6 month, so u might end up with EAES type routine, and that is ok as long as you arent feeding to sleep. Honestly at 4 month, before we sleep trained, it wasnt easy to get LO to sleep even with a good wind down. I think as long as you consistent and work towards independent sleep you will get to the point where it will be easier to get LO to nap.
You mentioned you are using shush pat, so thats a great start to independent sleep, you just need to start reducing the amount of shush pat that you are doing gradually.

[weaver]

This might help:
What does a good wind down consist of (Includes 4S ritual)

[BrandyM]

Honestly at 4 month, before we sleep trained, it wasnt easy to get LO to sleep even with a good wind down. I think as long as you consistent and work towards independent sleep you will get to the point where it will be easier to get LO to nap.

Thank you Viktoria! It's good to hear positive stuff from moms who've been through it already before.
Gives newbies like myself some hope. We'll have to hold tight and ride out the 4 month regression, I guess.

Recently, I've noticed that 3 hour feeds just frustrates DS. 3.5 hours is just about right, where he wants to nurse and nurses well too. I've heard that one of BW's weaknesses concerns BF so I was worried but it seems this is the natural way to go for us now. I will frequent the BF forum too.

Hello weaver! Thank you for the link!
I've always had a problem with the "Sitting" part of Tracy's method. DS would just wriggle around and not calm himself. Plus I think in the book it said to place baby's face in the crook of your neck to cut out visual stimulus, but our LO always faced outwards when I held him vertically.  But it seems the wind-down doesn't necessary have to be something special. I guess the most important thing is consistency.
I am using the swing to get DS sleepy before transferring him to the crib, which is a major concern. It feels a bit like a prop. But with naps being so difficult, I'm trying to juggle maintaining some sane routine and getting as much sleep into the boy as possible, and keeping sleeping crutches to a minimum... Easily said than done! 

[Florena49]

if 3.5 is about right then I would stick to that, but ladies on the BF board will be able to advice you further if you have any concerns.

We haven't done the sitting down part of the routine at 4 months, it is only now at nearly 8 months that Os will sit on my lap whilst i sing to him for example or read before BT, he still wont do the sitting down part before naps.  You are right it doesn't have to be something special, it has to be consistent, its a ritual, something to tell your LO that it is sleep time. I always struggled to believe that having a sleepy phrase like "its sleepy time" would pay off, and only now I can see that with consistency it works wonders.
At 4 months there is still a lot of sleep during the day and it might feel like you are constantly putting your LO to bed and when its hard to read them it becomes a bit of a struggle, as you are already using shush pat I would suggest that for the first nap you try and not use the swing at all instead do your wind down routine put LO into cot and do shush pat until asleep and gradually reduce the among of shush pat you are doing. So instead of shush patting until asleep you pat until calm and then gradually stop until you get to a point where you can just pop him in the cot and he settles himself.

[BrandyM]

Oh, I see. Perhaps the "Sitting" part was a bit early for our LO. 
And thank you for the tip on the sleep phrase. I always forget to tell him this, thinking he won't really understand anyway, but I must be more careful!

Yes, it does feel like I am constantly putting DS to sleep, especially since we are assisting him to extend his naps as well.
(going in around the 30-45 min mark to pat him through the transition)
I know he has it in him to fall asleep independently, because for bedtime we do not use the swing, and he can still fall asleep almost without the shush/pat even.
Naps are a different matter though, and it's going to take more courage on my part to wean the swing.
I am always afraid it will take forever for DS to settle using just the shush/pat and his A time will exceed 2 hours, causing the routine to go haywire.
Okay... (deep breaths)... starting with the first naps first!!

[Florena49]

I would say be brave and go for it, it will take a few days for him to get used to it, as he would be used to the swing and you are changing things, but he will get used to just shush pat and you are likely to find that once you tackle the rest of the naps it will be much easier.

I found that the older Os got the harder it became to soothe him to settle and resettle and once we sleep trained although we still had short naps we had no problem with him going to sleep so I no longer worried when it was time to put him to sleep as I knew it would be ok be it that it will only be a short nap. And yes I had to assist for some time as well, at this age in many cases it is developmental, but it could also be that he just isnt tired enough to sleep for longer, so you could add another 10 minutes to your A time and pat him through transition for a few days to get him used to the longer A time and then see if he can do a longer nap on his own without you.

[BrandyM]

Thank you for giving me the *push*  I needed it, as I'm going to have to be strong to make this work!
Today, I made the swing time much shorter than normally, and strangely it didn't affect the overall outcome at all, DS was still able to settle himself with a little "reassurance" from me. So perhaps I should have more faith in him than I give him credit for!
Will start to wean off swing at least for the morning nap and work from there.
Thanks again, and I will report again with good news, I hope.

[weaver]

Great stuff!  Well done.