Trouble staying down for naps and at night

[davis's mum]

Hello everyone    I'm hoping someone has a suggestion for me.  We have recently started a consistent wind-down ritual and do PU/PD when necessary with our 5 month old ds.  He goes down nicely for naps and at night.  He's almost to the stage where he falls asleep on his own but I do shush-pat a little still.  The problem is he doesn't stay down! 

DS’s longest naps are 1 hour (more often 30 mins).  I know his naps are not long enough for him as he often whines after an hour or so of being awake and takes longer naps if we are in the car.  When he wakes he is usually very alert and wants to play.  He doesn't cry.  Should I leave him in his crib until he cries then do PU/PD? 

During the night he wakes at least every 2 ½ - 3 hours.  He normally wakes because he has rolled onto his back and seems to panic (since learning to roll he has preferred to sleep on his side or tummy).  PU/PD works - but only after he has exhausted himself for over an hour.  This has not improved even with consistent PU/PD each night for about 2 weeks.  I do a breast feed dream feed at 10:30 PM (he never takes much) and still feed him once or twice during the night.  We have not been successful at getting him to take a bottle (our fault for lack of consistency).  I’d LOVE to cut out the feeds and have him sleep through.

Any suggestions?  We want to help this boy

[GraysonsMommy]

Hi david's mum!  We are going through some very similar experiences.  We have recently made a lot of changes to our lo's schedule.  We took away the dummy/pacifier cold turkey, added a DF at 11:30pm (so he gets all the calories he needs during the day) and stopped feeding at night altogether.  I am also trying to extend his naps and the time he is waking in the AM.  So this is what we are doing:

- To extend naps, I am going into his room at each of the light sleep stages (30/45 minutes and 1 hour).  I stand by his crib and if he stirs, I put my hand on him or pat him until he goes back to sleep.  By heading off these wakings, he is able to go into a deeper sleep and stay there for 1.5 - 2 hours!  You are not creating a crutch by doing this, because he isn't even in a state of consiousness when you do it.  I'm finding that his restlessness is calming and he used to stir at all the light sleep stages, now it's more or less just at the hour time slot, sometimes at 45 minutes as well.  It is time consuming, so I leave a book in his room to read while I'm awaiting his stirs.  When it gets frustrating, because my days are so repetitive, I keep reminding myself that I have to be commited to this in order for it to work.  The less I stray from the sleep training, the quicker he will catch on with consistency.  I am hoping that by helping him nap well, I'm also going to be able to help him sleep better at night.  It's easier to spend this time with him during the daylight hours.    :wink:

- To keep him on his side, which Grayson also prefers, we use a sleep positioner with cushions on either side of him.  I prop him onto his side and sometimes have to put him back there after he stirs and twists a bit.  He gets congested easily, so being on his side aids in better sleep.  But if rolling is waking your lo, this might be a good investment.  We've tried to let him sleep without it on a few occassions, he wakes too easily that way.

- For the night wakings, we are just playing this by ear, because every night seems to hold something different for us.  We did stop feeding at night, adding a DF at 11:30.  The first night he only woke once, but it took us 45 minutes to sh-sh-pat him back down.  The second night was our worst, I actually had to climb into his crib with him and endured 1 1/2 hours of crying and clawing.  He woke two other times that night, but was easier to calm.  The third night, he woke just about every hour, but only took a minute or two to sh-sh-pat back down. He even woke that morning playing in his crib and stayed there for 20 minutes by himself.  The fourth night, he woke twice, but the second time, we decided to let him go, since he wasn't crying, he was just kind of yelling at us (it's a barking sound) and he played and cooed, then put himself back to sleep!! Last night he woke twice also, but wasn't able to put himself to sleep.  So, as you see, there is still no rhythem yet, but many of the signs are pointing towards improvement.  I'm just glad to not have to replace his pacifier every hour!

Be wary of the sleep your DS is getting when he's in the car.  He can't fall into the deeper sleep he needs while he is in motion, even though he may be sleeping for longer stretches there.  He may still seem cranky after one of these naps, because he spends the majority of his slumber in a light sleep which doesn't help with the brain development he needs right now.

If your DS isn't taking much at night, he probably doesn't need to feed at night.  He may be doing it for comfort or out of habit.  If he is a little hungry, you can resolve this by increasing your feeds a little bit during the day to increase his calorie intake during the daylight hours.  Do you cluster feed at night?  Grayson goes every 4 hours for his first three feedings, then we shorten the feedings to 2 or 3 hours and then the DF a few hours after that.  This way we know he doesn't need to eat at night so when he wakes, it's just a matter of getting him back to sleep and hopefully he will eventually stop waking for them, since it's really no fun anyway, he he.

Well, good luck to you and if you find some magical formula that works, please let me know about it too!  :lol:

Jessica

[davis's mum]

Thank you for the advice!  I especially loved the idea about anticipating waking during naps and taking action to extend the nap.  I hope you continue to have success with your lo.  Take care, Jill