Ugh... (((hugs))), Kate. It's like a parallel world over here. I wish we could throw them together in a crib... maybe both of them screaming would provide enough distraction for them to stop!
I'm feeling down about it, frustrated and a bit checked out too.
Have you tried lights on a timer at all? Maybe she would start to understand that she won't be taken out of the room until they come on? I'm getting close to putting some in Charlie's room.
Remind me what her routine looks like...