Independent sleep and paci

[-Maya-]

Hi all,
I am a little obsessed by teach to my lo independent sleep. I read so many advices that now I am confused about what to do.

Now my procedure to make him sleep consists in putting him in the bed, plug the paci in and wait with my hand on the paci because he has never learned to keep the paci in his mouth by himself. When he's more upset I add some shhhh and/or I keep my hand on his chest. Sometimes he falls asleep with paci in, sometimes he drops it just before deep sleep.
Lo is never drowsy, either he is awake, flailing legs and arms even with closed eyes, or he is sleeping. He literally falls asleep in one second. Moreover he has never fallen asleep in my arms.

I have no ideas on how to proceed to teach independent sleep from this starting point. I guess I should wean the paci, but I am scared because when he has his "scream crisis" the only thing that truly works is the paci. But since he's never clearly drowsy, I have no way of using the paci just for soothe but not for sleep.

A couple of times I have tried to put him in bed and wait. He sucks his fist, thumb or blanket, chatting at first, but quickly escalating to a cry.

Do you have suggestion on how to proceed? He is 4mo now and I think I must do something now to avoid pain in the future.

Thanks!!

[lauradj]

If your LO is really resisting the pacifier, I wouldn't force it on him as they can become quite a prop later on.  Sucking on fingers, thumbs etc. is just fine and they're much easier to find in the dark!  It sounds like you're going about it in the right way so try not to get too worried.

[-Maya-]

You see a good starting point, I see a dead end.
My lo wants or needs his paci to fall asleep, but he accidentally removes it when turning his head, or so I think. I would like him to suck his blanket or his thumbs but he seems not satisfied at all and at some point he starts crying. Do you think that this could changd in future? He experiments sucking thumbs all day long.
I would like to put him to sleep in his room when he will be 6mo, but without a little it of sleep training will be a nightmare for me. I am a high sleep need adult and I am suffering a lot from sleep deprivation even if my lo is not a so bad sleeper now.
I wonder why he has not inherited my hsn feature...

[Lindsay27]

It might just be an age thing as well.  My DS always dropped his paci after he fell into a deep sleep so it was never a prop, and eventually he did learn to re-plug himself, but that may be something that just comes with a bit of time.