how do you establish an E.A.S.Y routine when baby doesn't want to feed?

[tams]

Hello. I'm trying to get my 14 wk baby on E.A.S.Y. I'm finding it difficult to do because she never seems to want to feed when she wakes up. it is usually at least an hour later when she is hungry and I can get her to feed, sometimes 2 hrs later.

I'm trying the 4 hr routine as she sometimes goes 5-6 hrs without wanting to feed. Because of this the routine becomes impossible to follow. Along with the issue of only having naps for 30mins during the day.

I'm solely breastfeeding and she is having an evening feed at 7pm, then a dream feed at 10:30pm. She wakes at 3:30 or 4:30 am every night, sometimes hungry, sometimes not.
Does anyone have an advice to offer? thanks

[Samuel's mum]

I'm afraid most people I know have the opposite problem!!

So how many feeds is she generally having in 24 hours? Could you give us her 'usual' schedule - thanks.

[tams]

I know - most babies I know always want feeding!

Our schedule goes something like this..

07:00 I wake her up if she is not already awake. not hungry
08:30 small feed
09:00 nap - usually 30mins. I have difficulty extending it.
11:00 small feed
12:30 proper feed
13:00 nap - 30 mins
15:30/16:00 good feed
17:00 nap 20 mins
19:00 bath, good feed and bed
22:30 df - not usually very big
awake anytime from 1am, usually 3:30am or 4am.

When she wakes the first time in the night she is not usually hungry so I can get her to go back to sleep with a pacifier. She then wakes again about 4:30am and I feed her then.

She is gaining weight well. I find it difficult to stick to the suggested routine as I cant make her eat when she is not hungry, then of course when she is a couple of hrs later, I have to feed her.

I haven't been using PU/PD with her as she is very easily stimulated. instead I use shush pat. I can get her to go to sleep at nap time fairly easily, she just wakes up after 30mins, smiling, kicking and breaking out of her swaddle. when I attempt to put her back to sleep, I'm usually there for an hour with no luck.

She is 15wks old. has always been extremely alert from about 3 weeks old. I tried E.A.S.Y at 5 weeks but gave up when I could never get her to sleep during the day. she would sometimes stay awake for 6 or 7 hours at a time then be crying and overtired in the evenings. I resorted to taking her for walks in the pram to put her to sleep, bad I know.

think that's about it
Than ks

[Samuel's mum]

 I'm going to pop you over to the EASY board to see if the folks there have any bright ideas.

[Jenny_Jen]

I have the same problem & it's always been this way since Hayden was an infant, now he's almost 6 months old.  I haven't been able to solve it yet.  He goes sometimes 5-6 hours inbetween feeds as well, is also gaining weight perfectly & is happy & easygoing baby.  I asked the Dr about it & she said it's not normal for them to miss feeds but she couldn't really comment on the situation because he is growing fine & gaining weight.

Here's another post about night time feeds possibly affecting the 4 hr easy schedule: https://babywhispererforums.com/index.php?topic=72826.0

Hope someone has an answer for you, I have yet to find one & have pretty much learned to go with the flow....

[tams]

thanks for this. I just read the link you sent me and it's just like our situation. I'm not alone!!  appreciate it. let me know if you get any solutions :-)

[Freya'sMum]

Hooray! Thought I was the only one!

Cannot get EASY started as DD#2 only feeds every 5-6 hours, obviously at 15 weeks she can't be expected to stay awake or asleep long enough to do a 5/6 hour EASY cycle, so I end up with EASAS! She still feeds during the night, sleeps 30-60 minutes during naps and won't resettle.

She won't eat or sleep when she doesn't want to, and gets more distressed than I can describe if I try to make her do either!

It makes it difficult to understand her cues, and she cries A LOT (Grumpy baby), so everything is a guessing game really!

Sorry I don't have any answers either, but it is reassuring to know that other babies do the same! Everyone else seems to have the opposite problem, too frequent feeds, and a breastfeeding support group I went to just said that I should go with it as she's gaining weight etc!

I guess some babies just don't want to be baby-whispered in an EASY way! I am able to use most of the other techniques Tracy advocates!

Good luck!

Ax

[rebecaq]

Hi there,

EASY isn't about following the same exact times suggested. It's about establishing a predictable pattern throughout the day. It's also so that accidental parenting doesn't happen and babies learn to fall asleep independently.  Is she's easily stimulated and very alert then a predictable pattern will only do her good.  From the sounds of it she's happy baby, is gaining weight and is not nursing to sleep.  If she can handle 4,5 or even 6 hour EASY and she's getting sufficient calories throughout the day then I really don't see a problem.

Just go with the flow and enjoy that she's not constantly at your boob!! LOL

- Beca 
 

[Jenny_Jen]

If she can handle 4,5 or even 6 hour EASY and she's getting sufficient calories throughout the day then I really don't see a problem.

That's the problem, it's impossible to get enough calories into them during the day if they go so long without feeding so we are still stuck getting up in the middle of the night to feed, that's why we would be happy with 4 hours, more calories during the day to work with.  Hayden always wakes in the middle of the night, usually around 4ish but last night was 2:30 because of when he had his last bottle, taking a full feed so it's not habitual waking, he's starving.

We have a routine going during our day, unfortunately it includes not sleeping thru the night 

[Freya'sMum]

And this is my problem too! She might be having enough calories to gain weight, but not enough to sleep thru the night! And not only do we struggle to work out whether she's crying for food or sleep because of the timing, I don't think she always knows either - sometimes she's too tired to eat, others she's too hungry to sleep!

Am keeping a record of her pattern at the moment to see if there is one! Might post it here if it makes any sense! Like Jenny_Jen, we have a routine, it just doesn't involve a good night's sleep for anyone!

Ax

[Kimberly®]

Try to keep in mind that waking to eat in the night is very normal for babies up to 6+ months, some go longer even, many will still wake untill they are 11-12 months or more. While many will stop by 6 months, many more need that night feed longer. I'm not saying this to scare you, but so you expect the right things from your LO.
I know its not easy, but babies as old as 6-12 months can need a feed, so to expect a baby 5- months to sleep through without a feed, especially 12 hours, is unreasonable and is not going to happen for most babies. There are very few who go 12 hours earlier and those who do often relaps later.
Even if you go to a 4 hour EASY it doesn't garentee LO's will sleep through the night. Be consistent and persistent and it will come, but try not to expect to much. Usually its when you stop trying that things finally work 
Stick with the basic structure of EASY and mold it to fit your LO. Even if its AEASY (which mine usually was at that age)

tams; Your LO is right on track of where she should be, your doing a great job Keep trying to feed LO when she wakes but don't worry if she wont. She's obviously getting what she needs if she is still growing, having wet/durty diaper, and only needing one night feed. Thats increadable.