BabyWhispererForums.com
SLEEP => General Sleep Issues => Topic started by: Nee on August 28, 2006, 19:58:11 pm
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What is the mantra cry, what does it sound like and what do I do when she is doing such.
Do I just leave her be but still stay in the room??
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..an odd burst of a cry which most babies do as they are settling down. We don't pick up with a mantra cry. Instead, we hold back to see if the child can settle herself. We do pick up with a genuine cry, because its your babies way of saying "I have a need that has to be met".
Each mantra cry is individual, get to know your babies mantra cry sounds like. You'll see it when she's physically overtired, she'll blink and yawn, and her leg and arms fail if she's overtired. She'll also do a kind of "waa.....waa...waa...."sound, like a mantra that repeated over and over, the pitch and tone is the same throughout. It does not sound the same as a genuine cry, which escalates in volume. - TBW -SAYP p235
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I think that the mantra cry is different for all babies my DS's is a loud whining almost yell but you can tell that he's not upset at all, just making noise kwim? He also moves around his cot rubbing his head on the mattress. If your LO is not upset you don't need to pick them up just stay alert in case it changes into a proper cry then you will need to do something. hth
Love
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my lo does the same...same pitch and tone...waa waa waa
she also rubs her head into the mattress....
always falls asleep on her own though! :-\
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My baby's mantra is quite vigorous--I would never have thought it was okay to leave him while doing it before reading the description and info. here. I guess I hadn't processed that it wasn't escalating--that's the key for me. Although it's loud and lusty, it never gets louder--or quieter either--just stays steady.
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My lo's mantra cry sounds like he's going to the bathroom (he makes noises when he's peeing ::)). The cry is a steady cry and sometimes he may roll in his crib or be stomping his legs on the mattress. But he will always fall back asleep on his own.
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I don't get it with this mantra cry thing. It sounds to me like the baby is somewhat awake during this cry but you all are so dead against letting a child cry him/herself to sleep. How come it is okay to let them cry during the mantra cry?
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It is ok because the mantra cry is not a cry for help. It is simply the sound a baby makes when they are trying to soothe themselves. You cannot stop a baby from making this sound...whereas, with a cry you need to make it stop and respond. If you listen to your lo for a little while longer, you will notice how/why/when your lo makes this sound....
don't despair...at least you now know what it is. When I was first reading Tracy's book, and I got to the mantra part, suddenly I knew what this cry meant. Before that I too responded...I am glad I didn't encourage any AP!! :P
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I agree with samijoe. You will notice that the mantra cry is a distinct cry that is different from a cry for help. When I read about the mantra cry, I was confused about it too but after listening to my LO's cries I now know which cries I need to respond to and which ones I can ignore.
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Do you think there might be any examples of mantra cries from Tracy's TV series that could be posted on here - either video or just sound files? I would LOVE to hear a mantra cry because I'm just not sure with my LO whether they are mantras or not.
Having said that, her cry stops when I shush/pat her so I'm guessing it's not a mantra???
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I really think it is different for all babies. When I read BWSAYP I thought it must be a monotone kind of cry but since having Bram I realise that for him it is a fussy cry. I found out by setting out of his line of sight when he was fussing and he didn't escalate just fussed a bit and went to sleep :o. Now I know which one it is so I step away quicker. ;D
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Ok, mine sounds like frustrated, almost angry, accompanied by lots of burrowing her head into the mattress.
Sometimes she sounds like she's going to calm down but then instead it escalates so that's why I think it's not a proper mantra cry. How long can mantra cries go on for?
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they can go on for a looong time sometimes ::)
but if it is escalating, then yes, you need to go to her then. and you are also right, if pat/shh helps her to stop it was not a mantra cry.
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it took me awhile to figure out what was a mantra cry and what wasn't, especially since every child's cry is different!! ::)
with lindsay, her mantra cry is at the same pitch, fairly quiet, and usually doesn't last for more than 15 minutes. if it gets louder at ANY point, i know that she has moved from being able to self-soothe to needing my help. and believe me, you learn the difference very quickly between the types of cries.
one night, i was listening to her mantra cry and DH, who isn't quite as versed in the ways of BWing, was getting upset so i went into her room (against my better judgement). well, as soon as i put my hand on her back it made things worse, so i knew that i had disturbed the normal course of her putting herself to sleep. i quietly walked out of the room and within five minutes she has put herself back to sleep.
the danger with not recognizing a mantra cry is then the baby doesn't learn to put themselves to sleep as mummy or daddy is always "rescuing" them. babies are perfectly capable of putting themselves to sleep if we don't rush in at every little sound. as a first time mum, it took me awhile to get this through my head as i would rush in a the slightest sound. most of the time she had already rolled over and gone back to sleep and she was just fine! once i relaxed about it all and actually started listening to the cry, life got easier for both of us! ;)
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I agree with the fact that mantra cries can go on for quite a while. The lenght of the cry actually varies from time to time, but it always ends with the LO able to go back to sleep on her own.
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Hey thanks so much everyone. Feel like I've made a leap here with the mantra cry since I've read this thread.
I've been holding back for the last couple of days and my LO has been putting herself to sleep without me for all 3 naps - woo hoo! For some reason, she is still escalating on the catnap and bedtime but it's enormous progress.
For the naps, her mantra lasts about 3 minutes. It really doesn't sound anything like the description in the book so maybe that's what was throwing me?? I thought it would be the same cry again and again but actually it is like a whining/frustrated cry that varies quite a bit. I guess the thing that cracked it was that she's not doing an all-out I need you cry.
She's still escalating at bedtime/catnap though so I'm still helping with that.
But thanks for clarifying everyone, cos it has helped a lot! I hope to get there with all the sleeps soon.