Hi Aimee,
I would say that if you want long term success that it would best to start a plan of action when your daughter is well. it will be more confusing if you are trying to settle her to sleep independently etc and then some of the time still nursing to sleep, so if it will make you feel stronger to start working on EASY when she is 100% then i think that is fine. Consistency is a large part of the battle to succeed.
I am no expert on PU/PD because i have only tried it on an odd occassion and then in an adapted form. I suggest if you choose to use this method that you seek specific support from the moderators there (i coudl give them a heads up if you want me to involve them on THIS thread...) as you shoudl know that it is not an instant "fix" - i know it seemed to get worse over those 2 nights, but when you try it again you need to be prepared to stick with it (it is more confusing for them if you keep changing tactics) I suggest you re-read the PU/PD info in the book and ask questions on the board as you go. Tracy states that it can easily take 1-2 weeks with PU/PD.
As hard as it is, i think you also need to commit to staying in her room unless you feel you will actually harm her. make sure you are implementing PU/PD correctly - as soon as she stops crying you put her down , etc I do think pat/shh is an option still if (like my lo) PD is too stimulating for her.
what i do is stay with her and get her calm in the cot (fortunately mine is not a crier, but just sometimes cannot "let go" to go to sleep or wakes early and needs help resettling) and laying down, then i pat firmly/rhythmically on her back while shhing loudly by her ear. i stay and continue this until she is back to sleep or very calm at least and leave her to see if she can then settle herself to sleep. if she starts playing again or crawling in the cot i give her a few minutes but if she seems unable to lay down and go to sleep i try again with shh/pat.
Do you just let her cry when you are doing that? I would think that would almost be like CIO.
she rarely cries, but even if she does, i am right there with my hands on her calming her and reassuring her. this is the difference with this mthod versus CIO. you don't leave them on their own to feel abandoned. our job is to work with lo to get calm and feel safe and secure in their bed to go to sleep on their own. with shh/pat or PU/PD you don't leave the room.
I agree with having her on two naps a day, I can tell she really needs it, I haven't found the best way to get her to calm down for naps or nighttime, she wants to squirm and crawl around, when I think I have found one, she throws me a curve ball and won't do the same thing 2 nights later.
i too deal with the squirming and crawling around. if it is part of them settling into sleep themselves i leave her be, if i can tell that it is going nowhere fast i will go in and try to re-do my settling routine or use pat/shh as i mentioned above. The ever-changing rules are something i am familiar with - not sure if it is a spirited thing or just babies, but olivia is forever changing her "routine" on me :roll: I have learned that i have to figure it our and revise my plans accordingly. 2 days she'll take great naps and then have an "off" day where i can find no reason for it, etc
Her first nap is between 11am-12:30pm, she used to take a nap at 10am and sleep for 1-2 hours, then refuse an afternoon nap, so I implemented bad parenting (again ) and held her out longer. When I do start this I think I will work with her daycare, I usually don't bring her in until 10am, but I can see if I can bump that up to 9am, so she can get a morning nap in at daycare, after I have established a set routine.
i don't think holding her out longer is the answer - if she was fighting her afternoon nap
due to too much sleep i woudl just keep her 1st nap shorter (1 hour max.) and see if that helps. she needs the second nap to make it through to bedtime happily and so she is not overtired for night sleep. if she is fighting the 2nd nap because she is overtired or overstimulated that is being addressed here and now so that could change.
If you can get her daycare to start at 9 that woudl be brilliant. then you could really institute set naps times of 9:30 and 1:30 which shoudl work for the daycare place easily i imagine (and then you can have the same daily rhythms wheteher at home or daycare). you do what you can to try to find the balance between a routine and watching their cues. I think you really need to ensure she is going down for naps earlier as that will be
what will make it easier for her to go down for sleep - if she is not overtired and overstimulated i promise you that things shoudl improve and you will see that less intervention is needed and she will go to sleep easily on her own...