How do you feel about 'Cross -Feeding'?

[rooby-rooby-roo]

I am reading a book at the moment called 'Fresh Milk - The Secret Life of Breasts' by Fiona Giles. One of the subjects it discusses in detail is 'cross-feeding', basically feeding someones elses child as well as your own. She discusses how a huge majority of mom's admit to having nursed a friend or relative's baby most often with consent, but sometimes without. Apparantly there are many women out there who have a cross feeding agreement, so when they are minding each others child they just feed them like they would their own.

What do you think about this??

[deb]

Well, at the moment with Natalie refusing to take the breast any more and me not having lots of spare time to pump, it'd suit me fine if anyone else had a baby who wanted some! LOL

Seriously, though, the idea doesn't bother me at all, although I can't say I'd nurse someone else's baby w/o the mom's consent.

[NKmommy]

Yikes, I can't imagine nursing someone else's baby without consent.     (Or even with consent!).  I would probably freak if someone else nursed my baby - mostly because I don't know what that person has consumed or what med conditions they might have.  I have heard of people buying milk from breastmilk banks, and the idea gives me the creeps.  Am I weird?   

[Kate A]

I think that BF is not only fuctional but intimate.  I love doing it for the nutritional value but more so for the bonding.  I can't even imagine it with someone else's child, let alone letting someone else nurse my babe.  i can understand the milk banks.  they are screened pretty well and bm is best (especially for the first 6 months)

[KellyC]

I'm not sure how I feel about this.  I would definitely have no problems giving or taking EBM from somebody I knew well if I was unable to give my own baby breastmilk - I'd rather give this than formula.  I'd think hard about actually bf another baby or somebody bf my baby but I think I could go with it, I've never found it difficult to separate the 2 functions of my breasts - bf (often) and sex (rarely)!
Kelly x

[deenz]

Well I recently pumped a couple of bottles of milk for a relation's baby (just born, her milk took a while to come in), and it did cross my mind that she was obviously 'trusting' me and my diet etc.  Her MIL is a fantastic LC, and didn't 'instruct' me in any way in how to do it (eg. to make sure I sterilised equipment) so I figured that it must be absolutely ok to do it.  But I can't imagine actually nursing another baby!  I do know someone who did though (my mother's generation).

[JacobMarksMummy]

I definatly wouldnt have a problem nursing someone elses baby, with thier consent of course but I dont think I'd ever be able to let some else nurse my DS. Not really because of not knowing the quality of the other womens milk but because BF is our speacil time and I know I'd be jealous if he got that with someone else.

There is an afro-carrabean family at my church, there are four sisters in the family and all are busy having babies. One of the sisters looks after the babies in the day and she nurses all the babies so the other sisters can go out to work. I think it quite common practice in some cultures.

[deenz]

Just wondering whether it makes a difference depending on the age of the baby??  I mean a really little baby I could probably imagine nursing, but not a 6 month (or older!) baby....  And would they even nurse from someone else??

[KellyC]

Actually I agree with that, a newborn is a different proposition to a cheeky little 6 month old and it's more important that the newborn gets breastmilk to me too.

Kelly x

[Samuel's mum]

I found that book you mention SO interesting.
I would like to think I would be open to it (obviously with everyone's consent) as I like to believe myself to be open-minded...
but thinking about it more I'M NOT! LOL

I really couldn't handle someone else feeding Sam whatever age he is. A little bit due to health concerns but honestly because it feels like part of our special bond.

I would feel more open to feeding someone else's baby if asked but even more comfortable with the idea of donating milk.

The story in the book of the New Zealand mum at the conference was sad. I can imagine I would also feel a bit invaded if someone else had fed my baby in those circumstances. It's interesting how the other mum felt it to a perfectly standard thing to do.

I suppose if everyone swapped babies occasionally their immune systems would be even stronger!

[mcruari]

Naah, not for me. I wouldn't like anyone feeding my LO for all the reasons mentioned by you all and I would not feel comfortable feeding another person's baby. I think it really is that bonding thing. I think I would become too attached to someone else's LO if I were to BF him/her. A bit like (but obviously not to the same extent) surrogate mothers, KWIM.
Unless I was absolutely the only person who could offer this to help overcome the suffering of a LO, I don't think I could do it. I would however love to be able to donate breastmilk - but there again I would worry that I wasn't giving 'my LO' everything I could offer.
I think our society does not approve of this concept of sharing BF babies, whereas I am sure that in many cultures and societies it is absolutely normal and run of the mill.

Sinead

[Wilfie's Mummy]

The story in the book of the New Zealand mum at the conference was sad. I can imagine I would also feel a bit invaded if someone else had fed my baby in those cir!@!stances. It's interesting how the other mum felt it to a perfectly standard thing to do.

Can you fill us in on the whole story - I assume its about bfing another womans child without permission, how did she react?

Cross feeding doesn't freak me out at all but I agree with Nome that I would be very jealous if ds was feeding from someone other than me!!!

Like extended bfing, this is a cultural issue, my parents live in Madagascar and were telling me that cross feeding is very common there, if a baby cries whoever is closest or has the most milk feeds the baby.

I would be very touched if my sister cared enough about my lo to offer to feed him if i couldn't.

Hannah x

[rooby-rooby-roo]

The story in the book of the New Zealand mum at the conference was sad. I can imagine I would also feel a bit invaded if someone else had fed my baby in those cir!@!stances. It's interesting how the other mum felt it to a perfectly standard thing to do.

Can you fill us in on the whole story - I assume its about bfing another womans child without permission, how did she react?

The mother involved had left her child in an evening creche run by the place that was hosting the event she was attending. She figured her child would need a feed at about 10-11pm and asked the creche to come and get her. They didn't come to get her, and although she thought about going to check, she figured it must be ok as they would come and get her if it wasn't. When it got to midnight (the time the creche ended) she went back to collect her daughter. She found the daughter sat on a woman's knee, very happy, but wide awake! I think she made a comment about how suprised she was to see her daughter awake and in a good mood in the middle of the night (!) and the other woman just said...'I fed her'.

Unfortunatley it then got a little out of hand for this poor lady as the press ran with the story. She felt the whole issue was not about breast vs bottle or boob vs boob, but about consent, but the media turned it into something else, and almost (as often happens in rape cases) made it out to be almost her own fault. Sad but true. The woman who had fed the baby never apologised, just said that she thought she was doing her a favour (but did eventually submit to blood tests and was clear) and the creche worker said that she had wanted to intervene but had been overpowered by the lady and her friends. (who it seemed had a cross-feeding circle)



My own view?? I actually don't have a problem with it at all. Full stop. And that has really suprised me!!!!

[daisymelan]

I have no issues with crossfeeding.  I can understand the age thing, but it wouldn't bother me at all. 

I think it's beautiful when women pump to help babies whose mom's are unable to for whatever reason.  If they nursed, then that's fine too.  It just strikes me that a women willing to do that must be a very caring, giving person. 

Where I grew up there was a lady who had 8 children and she would breastfeed other mom's babies for whatever reason.  I don't think that lady stopped producing milk for at least 10 years. 

The story about the NZ lady, I can understand the trust issue.  I think it's like everything else in this world, people need permission to do something.

Thank you for starting this post.

[Peppermom]

I would do it if need be.  My sister in law has 5 kids.  A friend of hers had to have surgery that would not allow her to breast feed her child.  Paige took the baby while the mom was in the hospital and nursed her for three days. 

I think it is cool.  If I trusted the person, I would do the same if I need someone to feed my baby or vice versa.  I have thought about trying to donate some milk to a human mil bank as Becca's feeds drop off as she gets old and starts eating solids. 

Breastmilk is a beautiful thing.  It makes me feel like more of a woman and mother to give my baby something only I can provide.