What's normal for a 16 mo. old?

[inoella]

I could really use some ideas and encouragement here. At 16 mo. my lo is only 18 lbs 10 oz (5% here in the US) and 31 in. (75%)! She has always refused to be fed by me so we did BLW by default and she does wonderfully with her fingers and her own spoon and fork. She has a few favorites - mac-n-cheese, applesauce, peas, blueberries and few others. Sometimes she'll eat other pasta and a pb-n-j but not usually. Her ped. says as long as she's growing taller and staying active (very active!!!) I shouldn't worry. It's not so much worry as how to schedule meals.  She'll eat a few things in her highchair - half a banana and half a piece of toast and then start throwing things on the floor so I take her down. 15 min. later she's finishing DH's cereal! In the late a.m. and p.m. she will go to the pantry and pull out a box of cookies or crackers and ask for some. If it's not too close to lunch/dinner I'll give her one or a piece of fruit. Sometimes she just takes a bite and drops it (lately she has helpfully been bringing the rejected half back to me, isn't that nice?). Last night she ate a little bit at 4:30 and then a little bit at 6. I just feel like I'm feeding her all the time but not getting much in her. And I'm getting sick of cleaning up the huge "feed yourself" mess 5-6 times a day for what amounts to a few actual bites. I end up offering her almost everything on her "will eat" list almost every meal just in hopes that she'll eat something. Is there a better way to approach this? I don't want to force anything or make eating a big issue - I'm just getting frustrated about never knowing when she'll be hungry or what she'll actually eat.
If you've read this far, I thank you!!!! Any thots? Advice?

[Chicane]

Hi jaci,

DS is also 16 months. We don't have quite the same issues as you but I also get frustrated. Eating habits just seem to change week to week. Sometimes he's starving and will eat everything in front of him and other times he will eat hardly anything at all except raisins, pasta and biscuits. And the mess! Oh my lord! I totally know what you mean. The thing that annoys me is how long DS takes to eat. Meals can last over an hour! He can be so slow and distracted. Drives me nuts!

How long has she been like this for? Could it be a phase cause she is more active now and more on the go? Has she been walking for long? Maybe she's just too busy to stop and eat.

If you want to post up what your typical eating routine looks like I can see if I can spot anything...

I am not sure what you can do about this really. Perhaps attempting more structure might help, but sounds like you've tried that...I wonder if there is a picture book around that might explain eating, eating at the table etc in a more fun way then mum getting frustrated...if you find one let me know will ya?

Thinking of you while on my knees scrapping mashed avocado and other unidentifiable things from the floor

x

[inoella]

Thinking of you while on my knees scrapping mashed avocado and other unidentifiable things from the floor

lol! that's me too!

She's always been like this and she's been walking since 12 months. I have thot it might be distraction/wanting down but sometimes I'll give a snack while watching Sesame Street and she still eats as slow and as little.

A 7/7:30
E 7:30 1/2 banana and some oj while watching Elmo
E 8ish cereal or cinnamon bread toast w/ milk (another concern I have is that some days she only drink 4 oz of milk total and hardly ever more than 10 oz)
E 10/10:30sometimes she asks for a snack around 10/10:30 but that is usually only a bite of cracker or fruit
E 11/11:30 depending on whether or not she ate a snack - we do an early lunch here
S 12/12:30 - 1:30/2:30 still adjust to one nap so it's sometimes 1.5-2 hours
E she seems to want to snack pretty much all after noon but she gets really hungry and insistent around 4:30
E 7 lately we've been giving her milk and some sort of carb snack right before bed - esp. if she ate a light super. It started with several nights of BT refusal in the form of screaming which I finally figure out meant she was still hungry...

I'm trying to think of more "snacks" that she can eat on the run so I only have to put her in the highchair for 3 meals, ykwim? Our meals sometimes last an hour too but lately I'm trying a new approach. Instead of offering everything under the sun at each meal in hopes she'll eat something, I just offer her a few things, let her decided how much to eat and put her down as she as she seems done (usually starts playing with the food or throwing it on the floor). But then she seems hungry about 1.5 hours later.

[inoella]

I guess what I'm wondering is at what point do I say "this is what you can have for snack - take it or leave it". And then what the heck do I do with her when she doesn't want it Just now, for example, she wants raisins not dried apricot. But she can't actually tell me that so there's lots of pointing and crying until I finally figure out what she wants. I feel like she's controlling her diet not me. And she's only 16 months old. I can try putting things up out of her line of vision but I'm running out of top cupboard space!

[Chicane]

Well, I have to say straight up that I am as clueless as you are. I think if we work through a few things and still haven't come to some kind of conclusion we may have to ask for more help.

Sometimes I wonder if its me that has to make the change, in the way I react to the situation and to my own stress levels...but I'll leave that for when I can afford therapy!

I am wondering if you could try and consolidate a few of the meals. So for example when she has a banana and juice with Elmo maybe that should be something more substantial to fill her up, more breakfasty, perhaps this is where she should have cereal and toast, as hard boiled egg or something like that.  Something to get the day started so that she can go a little longer before needing a snack. I just made some flap jacks - kind of like oat bars with apple raisins dates and I sweetened it with grape juice (DS hasn't tried them yet). Something like that could be good to start the day with and would be easy to eat while watching Elmo. Then the mid morning snack is the banana/cracker and juice and/or milk combination. I actually think its okay to do the dinner meal at 4.30...we do dinner at 5pm. If that when she really gets her evening hunger then take advantage of it and give her a full meal...see what happens. Then she can have a dessert snack before bed with her milk. I try and do carbs too...sometimes I'll mash some banana or pear with yoghurt and mix in some baby rice and milk to bulk it out...

I don't put DS in the highchair for snacks although I have often wondered about this. I usually put a bowl of whatever on the floor or coffee table, rice crackers, raisins, dates, apple pieces (I squeeze an orange over them as it stops it from browning and gives the apple a nice flavour), cookies...and he eats them as he likes while playing...sometimes I find bits of old dried up apple in funny spots lol.

Here are some websites I often look at for ideas, they might help
http://www.homemade-baby-food-recipes.com/index.html
http://www.wholesometoddlerfood.com/
http://weelicious.com/
http://www.mydaddycooks.com/

Also, as far as communication is concerned we started using baby sign language a while ago and its fantastic. He can tell me with signs if he wants a drink, a cracker, more, or if he is hungry, when he's all done. Its taken a while but in the last few weeks the signs have really taken off and he is signing for so many things. It can really take the pressure off. its not too late to start with her. There are a bunch of books and CDs on Amazon and other places...if you are interested in starting let me know and I can give you some websites. There is also a support thread for baby signs here on BW.

I don't know if  any of this is helpful. I hope so...

xx

[Chicane]

wanted to add...it may just be the way she is too...perhaps she is one of those people who needs to eat little but often...?

[inoella]

Hi again,
Just wanted to say thanks for the tips and the links. Just having someone else look at the schedule helped me "re-look" too and I realized that 1. I really need to make the afternoon snack more substantial and finger food and stop obsessing about messes.
2. I also need to try some new foods. I'm kinda stuck in a rut...  Looking forward to trying the ideas on the web sites.

[Chicane]

Hey Jaci

was thinking of you yesterday cause I was looking something up in the Baby Whisperer Solves All Your Problems book and there was a little section about how to turn a toddler from a snacker to eating full meals...do you have the book? Basically, Tracy said cut out snacks (one or both) and use distraction methods (go out to play park, have a visitor or something) then give the full meal...she said it would take a few days to kick in but should work...

I'm glad I was able to help even a little bit. I hear you about the obsessing about messes...me too! let me know how you go

xo