Weaning 1 year old - need support & help (sorry its LONG and lots of info)

[MelissaS]

Hi everyone,

Well I have persisted and loved breast feeding my 1 year old but am ready to wean him off the breast all together. I have a couple of reasons mainly

1. I am looking at going back to work full time
2. We had him weaned to 2 x feeds in 24 hours but lately he has been hitting and clawing my breasts all the time during the day demanding feeds anywhere and all the time
3. My breasts feel really really empty and for the first time since I started breastfeeding they actually are uncomfortable when he sucks and feel empty (by the way I have just got my first period since I fell pregnant this week)

I really need some advice as I had cut down but now I feel guilty rejecting his demands for breast during the day (several times) and end up giving in although it is uncomfortable. He drinks water happily and full cream milk and is eating enough as well.

I am thinking of travelling to see my grandmother for three days without him and DH has offered to look after him full time (he is fantastically patient with him). DH also thinks it  is a good idea for me to leave as it is a lot harder and makes David unhappy whilst I am around and not giving him 'booby'.

I am a little sad to be giving up but also really looking forward to wearing normal bra's again and hopefully having smaller breasts (I cant believe it I went from a B cup to an E cup)

Please please need support
Thank you!!!!!!!!

[Samuel's mum]

You really have nothing to feel guilty about! You have had such a good innings (hope Aussie appreciates cricket metaphor). I have heard of the mother being away from the LO working and I saw Tracy use something similar on one of her TV shows. I would recommend trying to get the feeds back down to 2X before then. When he asks, offer a big squeezy hug instead and make him laugh. On the Channel 4 show about extended breastfeeding that was shown in the UK recently a family weaned twins using the 'hugs' approach after having previously fed on demand. It worked very well for them and the dad enjoyed being asked for hugs too! It sounds as though your husband is certainly up to the task. While you are away you may need to express a little to protect yourself from blocked ducts etc.
HTH

[Erin (redstarfalling)]

Hi - So, if I have it straight, you just got your period for the first time in over a year and nine months? That can definitely affect how your breasts feel and how he's nursing.  Some babies even have nursing strikes at that time because of changes in taste.  (Although that doesn't seem to be your ds' problem!  ). 

How did you get down to the 2 feeds last time?  Could you try something similar?  Even if you're not feeling full, you might find that if you try to stop all at once, you WILL get engorged.  I'd try the usual recommended stuff like distracting with something else - cuddles, sippy cup, play, etc., when he asks for milk.  In fact, if you can predict when he usually starts pulling at your shirt, try giving a snack or some milk from a cup first, so hunger or thirst won't be the issue too much.

Try not to feel too guilty - you've done so great giving him this for the year!  It's hard for most moms, I think, to finally wean.  But he'll be fine - he'll still love you and have special moments in other ways.  Sending hugs and let me know if you need more help and support!

[GraceKellysmom]

http://www.kellymom.com/bf/weaning/how_weaning_happens.html

Here is some information from kellymom.com on weaning, the different methods of weaning, and there is a link to some suggestions for how to subsitute and strategies for weaning. You may find that you are more comfortable with one method vs another, depending on what your work situation is.

I agree that when I get my period, my breasts are tender and nursing wasn't always what I wanted to do. I weaned Max at 16 months, we were down to one feed before bed, and dh just took over bedtime. Max was sad for a few nights, as was I, but he quickly forgot and now I do bedtimes again. It's been three 1/2 months and my breasts are not back to "normal" they never will go back to what they were. They are just empty sacks and still nursing size. I've kept my nursing bras because my old bras are so uncomfortable, too tight. 

Best of luck and know that you can take all the time you need. Weaning was emotional for me, so I understand those feelings if you want to talk.

[diyasmom]

Melissa!
We are in the same boat as you and just wanted to let you know that you are not alone! I guess distraction is the only key here! Diya hates full cream milk and we are finding it even harder!

[daisymelan]

Melissa:  Just wanted to say... GOOD FOR YOU for nursing that long.  I only hope we can go as long as you have.

[MelissaS]

Thank you everyone!!!!!!!

Vidya - great to hear from you as well - I have not posted for a long time in the birth club (february bubs) so it is nice to hear from a familiar voice.

Well just to give an update - David is completely weaned off the breast (I am sad yes but my breasts were starting to really hurt and feel empty)

I ended up travelling 400kms away for 3 days and DH looked after DS as I felt cruel refusing him every time he would hit and paw at my chest (and he would do this 5-6 times a day even though I had weaned him down to 2 times a day) Also he was refusing a lot of solids and started to fall below the recommended weights for his age.

He has now been fully weaned off the breast for three weeks and he has handled it extremely well - every now and then I have given in as I do miss the closeness - but he rarely even looks at them now.

I have gone to formula and sometimes full cream milk - I am not sure whether to get rid of the formular and just have milk as it is low in iron. He is eating SO MUCH MORE!!!!! and has shot up in height and weight and guess what SLEEPING THROUGH 7pm - 6am NO MORE NIGHT WAKINGS I cant believe this.

We are looking forward to TTC again and I will definately be BF again if I can - hopefully I will last as long if not longer than I did this time.

Anyway thank you all for your support again - hopefully I can go out at night again (I havent for 13mths) 

[daisymelan]

Melissa, thank you for sharing.  It's wonderful that you had such a positive experience.

And what are you waiting for??  You better be going out tonight (and all week for that matter  )

Cheers

[Samuel's mum]

It sounds as though you had a happy ending!